The Disappearing Girl

by Heather Topham Wood

  He winced and put a hand to his heart. “You wound me with your low opinion of credit card reps.”

  I liked our rapport. I hadn’t felt that relaxed with a guy in a long time. He was helping me loosen up. It felt natural to smile and laugh with him, reminders I could be a normal human being if I wanted to.

  “So, was I right? Was I coming on too strong and you were being too nice to tell me to get lost?”

  I dared a look into his brilliant blue eyes. “No,” I said softly. “I’m interested, but I’m not going to step on any toes if you’re seeing someone else.” I sent a meaningful look toward his table.

  His mouth turned down and he asked, “Do you mean Taylor? I’m not with her.”

  I used the tip of my ring finger to trace the rim of my glass. “I was getting a hands-off vibe from her when we were introduced.”

  “We dated back in high school, but it’s been over for years. She tries to act possessive about me, says it’s because she’s looking out for me. But we’re only friends.”

  His sincerity was disarming. The college boys I’d had brief flirtations with were disingenuous. They would ply me with compliments, but they turned their attention elsewhere when I didn’t put out. But Cameron seemed honestly surprised I’d feel threatened by Taylor. I was making assumptions about what kind of person he was based on how attractive I found him. I had to stop expecting the worst in people.

  I said, “You’re single, then?”

  He opened his mouth to reply. After a brief hesitation, he pinched his lips together.

  “What?” I asked. “You do have a girlfriend then?” Settling back in my chair, I waited patiently for his answer. My stomach clenched as I waited for him to admit he was in a relationship.

  “No,” he laughed and a flash of embarrassment crossed his features. “I was going to say something like ‘hopefully not for long,’ but I’m thinking I should back off a little bit. I like you and I don’t want to come off like a cocky jerk.”

  My eyes lit up. “You’re not.”

  “Good, because you’re a little hard to read. But I like that about you. It makes me want to try and figure out what you’re thinking,” he said, and he scooted forward in his chair.

  His knee brushed against mine under the table. His touch made my skin come alive, and I wanted to thank Brittany for insisting I wear a dress. I took a breath. “So, what else should I know about you, Cameron?”

  “Well, my friends call me Cam, but I find the way you say my full name very sexy, so keep calling me that.”

  He was something else. My ineptitude with men made me glad he was taking the lead. His self-assurance was appealing, and I found myself turned on. I liked the emotions he was invoking inside me, and I couldn’t deny the appeal of being desired by someone like him.

  “Anything else I should know? Besides the fact that you’re an incurable flirt.” I laughed.

  “I live in an apartment a few blocks from here. Just me and my dog, Angus; he’s an English bulldog and he’s pure awesomeness.”

  I smiled at his description. I doubted he could get any cuter, and I was suddenly grateful I’d run into him.

  “My parents live about twenty minutes away, and I have a younger sister who just started her sophomore year at Rutgers.”

  “I have a younger sister, too. Her name is Lila and she’s still in high school.” I conjured up Lila in my head and felt a pang as I realized how much I missed her. The last time we’d talked over Skype, she was irate over my mother trying to control her daughter’s social life and deciding who was good enough for her to date. “I’m from Red Bank, it’s about an hour away.”

  “I saw a concert there last year with my sister, Scarlett. We went for drinks afterward, seemed like a cool town. I’d like to go back some time.”

  “It is a fun place. The bars always have amazing bands playing. I couldn’t wait to turn twenty-one to check some of them out.”

  Cameron laced his fingers behind his neck and grinned. “Sounds like we have a date then.”

  I laughed. “You’re pretty sure of yourself.”

  “You did tell me you were interested,” he pointed out. “Are you going to keep saying no each time I ask you out? Because it’s okay to admit you want me.”

  Although he was teasing, heat crept into my cheeks. His grin turned wicked and I gulped down the rest of my drink nervously. He was making my need for control slip, but I was enjoying the sensation.

  Brittany appeared before us. “I hate to break this up, but we still have three more bars to hit.”

  I shot Cameron an apologetic smile. “We’re doing a bar crawl for my birthday. Meaning everyone will be completely smashed by the time we get home.”

  “Yes, and we’re already behind schedule.” Brittany placed her hands on her hips and sulked.

  I stood up and squelched my annoyance over her interruption. I was compelled to remind her of whose birthday it was. “Fine,” I answered shortly. “Just give me a minute.”

  Brittany took the hint and scampered back to Kurt. My annoyance disappeared when I saw the twins glance in my direction. They had all come out for my birthday, and I couldn’t ditch them for a cute guy.

  Cameron got to his feet and walked around to my side of the table. “I really don’t want you to leave.” His voice had taken on a seductive quality as he tilted his head close to mine. “I can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing you in that dress.”

  My breath caught. His hand slid down my bare arm and gooseflesh emerged once his fingers pulled away. “Come with us,” I said, my voice thickened with desire. Within minutes of seeing him again, I was already entranced by his presence and I wasn’t ready to let him go. I frowned when I remembered his friends seated next to us. “I guess it would be rude to leave your friends.”

  “I’ll see if they want to come,” Cameron suggested. “If not, I’ll catch up with them later.”

  His eyes searched my face and I felt in tune with his thoughts. We needed more time together to see where this was going. There was chemistry between us, and I hoped he wasn’t only feeling a sexual connection. My thoughts were lustful, but I was also attracted to the sweet guy I’d seen glimpses of during our brief encounters. He was a mystery I was excited to unravel, and I wanted the night to never end.

  Chapter Seven

  Fifteen minutes later, we exited the bar and were greeted by the frigid February air. My teeth were chattering as we walked to the next bar on Brittany’s list. Cameron’s friends had ordered pitchers of beer at the last bar and declined to join us. I was relieved; the last thing I wanted was to have Taylor clawing my eyes out for flirting with Cameron.

  Cameron must have noticed my shivering because he quickly pulled me to his side. His body heat warmed me, and I grinned at him gratefully. I wasn’t sure if it was Cameron’s presence or the alcohol, but I’d become someone I didn’t recognize. For the past couple of hours, my weight and what I was going to eat hadn’t crossed my mind once. I missed the simplicity of not being obsessed with my appearance.

  Cameron insisted on paying my cover charge when we arrived at the next bar. The pub was overcrowded, and we could only find a spot for our group in the back recesses of the bar. After Brittany forced us all to do the obligatory shot of Southern Comfort, she dragged Kurt into a corner to make out. Dan was holding Jessica up, and I doubted she would be able to stay much longer. Todd and Danielle had gone in search of the bathroom, and I guessed they’d be a while, based on the number of people in the bar. I was grateful for the chance to continue talking to Cameron alone.

  “Are you enjoying your birthday?” Cameron asked in my ear.

  “I am now.”

  Gently, he twirled me around to face him. Taking my drink out of my hands, he set it on the high-top table next to us. His left arm encircled my waist and he slipped his right hand behind my neck. I closed my eyes in anticipation.

  His lips covered mine and our mouths moved in a gentle rhythm. His embrace tightened and I was cr
ushed against the firm planes of his chiseled chest. I could feel every inch of hardened muscle, and it incited my desire. I gripped the back of his head and dragged my fingers through his hair. Shivers ran up and down my back as his hands caressed me in time with our kiss. I parted my lips and allowed his tongue to slip inside my mouth. Our tongues caressed, and he deepened the kiss.

  His kiss floored me. It surpassed my expectations in every way and kept me wanting more of him. I felt swept away and I wanted to cry out when he pulled away. It wasn’t until I regained my senses I realized I had been close to devouring him in the midst of a crowded bar.

  “Wow,” I muttered, surprised I was able to form a coherent sentence. “You must really want me to sign up for a credit card.”

  Chuckling, Cameron twirled me around to face the rest of the bar. “I think your friend has been trying to get your attention.”

  Danielle was calling out my name and waving her hands frantically. Jessica was slumped against the wall, without any shoes on and sandwiched between Todd and Dan. Groaning, I pushed my way toward the group. Danielle’s expression was apologetic at my approach.

  “I’m sorry to cut out early, but I have to get my sister back home before she passes out in a pile of her own puke in the middle of the bar.”

  “Will she be okay? Maybe we should all head out.” I grimaced when I saw Jessica smile drunkenly at Dan and attempt to kiss him. I was poised to intervene, but I saw him holding her gently away from his lips. The effects of the alcohol were beginning to hit me hard, too, and I wanted to avoid making a fool out of myself in front of Cameron.

  “I’ll take care of Jess, she needs to rehydrate and sleep it off. But you absolutely can’t leave early. It’s your birthday.” Danielle was insistent. Motioning to Brittany, who was dirty dancing with Kurt in the corner of the bar, she added, “Also, Brittany will kill me if you go home with us.”

  “Okay,” I said reluctantly. I was the good girl who took care of everyone. It was strange to hang up my duties for the night.

  “Besides, you’d be out of your mind to leave that delicious man,” she chided. Cameron was standing where I’d left him and had his hands shoved into his jeans pockets. He grinned when he saw me watching him and lifted an eyebrow in my direction. My lips were swollen, and I could still taste his kiss. Danielle was right: I’d be crazy to leave him so soon.

  Danielle was giggling when I faced her again. “Just keep in mind that my room is next to yours and the walls are very thin.”

  I playfully shoved her shoulder. “Call my cell if Jessica needs anything. Do you have cash for a cab?”

  “Yes, and stop worrying. You only turn twenty-one once.” She kissed my cheek and headed toward Jessica.

  I returned to Cameron after I said goodbye to Jessica, Todd, and Dan. With Brittany and I already paired off, the guys no longer saw the point of staying at the bar. They bought me an Irish Car Bomb before they left, which I quickly handed over to Cameron.

  “Please drink this,” I insisted. “I will face plant soon if I don’t stop drinking.”

  “But it’s your twenty-first, it’s like a twisted rite of passage to drink until the point of unconsciousness,” he teased.

  “Why? Is that what your twenty-first birthday was like?”

  “Worse. I woke up with a tattoo.”

  I was pleasantly surprised by the revelation, figuring he was too preppy to have an edgy side. The more I was getting to know him, the more my crush was growing. My damaged psyche questioned why a good-looking, funny, and nice guy like Cameron would be attracted to me. His ex-girlfriend was beautiful; she was most likely a size zero and had a gorgeous face. I was fat and ordinary.

  But I wouldn’t allow myself to succumb to my hang-ups. Even if it was just for one night, I’d have fun and enjoy spending time with Cameron. The chemistry between us could be fleeting, and I didn’t want to waste time thinking up all the reasons he shouldn’t like me.

  “So, are you going to show me the tattoo?”

  He closed the space between us and brushed his cheek against mine. His breath was warm as he whispered into my ear. “That’s my party trick for later.”

  The rest of the night felt ethereal. I felt like I was existing on an entirely different plane from everyone else, and the only other person I could see was Cameron. His eyes were captivating, and they held me prisoner for the entire time we stood together, talking. Each time we touched, I melted, dissolving into nothingness and becoming only sensation. Cameron didn’t paw at me; instead, he was affectionate in a natural way, making every excuse to touch me. He held my hand for most of the night, tracing small circles over my knuckles. Each caress made me envision what else he could do to me using his fingers.

  The night came to an end too swiftly. Brittany had her arm laced through mine when we were ushered out of the final bar on our pub crawl. Cameron and Kurt were behind us, bonding over their shared love of the New York Giants. Brittany and I were struggling to walk, both of us equally intoxicated.

  Brittany stage whispered, “He’s so freaking sexy, Kayla, you should totally go home with him.”

  I dared a look behind me and was met by a pair of glittering blue eyes. Cameron winked my way as he continued his conversation with Kurt. I hissed, “I’m not going home with him, I barely know him.”

  “That didn’t stop you from letting him perform mouth-to-mouth on you in the bar.”

  “Like you should talk,” I reminded her.

  Brittany giggled in response and spun around to face Kurt. She ran behind him and hopped on his back. He carried her down the road to the intersection where we were going to wait for the cab to pick us up.

  “Do you want a ride back to the dorm?” Cameron asked me while Kurt and Brittany charged in front of us. “I haven’t been drinking for hours.”

  My feet throbbed and my head was beginning to pound, and the thought of being chauffeured home by him was tempting. However, through the alcohol induced haze, I understood it would probably be best to stay with Brittany and take the taxi home. I may have been ready to kiss him senseless, but I didn’t want to wake up with regrets the next morning by allowing things to go farther than I felt comfortable with.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I should probably head back with my friends,” I said softly.

  “I was going to drive you all back,” he elaborated.

  “We already called a cab. Anyway, if you drove us home, I’d feel obligated to invite you up. Call me old-fashioned, but that’s pretty quick, considering we haven’t gone on a date yet.”

  “This night turned out much better than I expected. I thought I’d be at the bar all night, whining to my friends about the girl who never called me,” he said.

  We stopped walking and I began to shift from foot to foot to stave off the bitter cold. I shoved my hands into the pockets of his wool coat and smiled up at him. “Thanks for a memorable birthday.”

  The wind picked up and my hair was blown into my face. He smoothed my hair back and cupped my chin. His lips grazed mine, and I sighed in contentment. He drew back and then planted a gentle kiss on my forehead.

  “Will you call me this time?” The husky timbre of his voice was stirring up lustful images of the two of us in my head. I conceived of things he could do to my body to help me forget how much I loathed it.

  “Do you want to take my number just in case I lose my nerve?”

  He pulled out his cell phone and I relayed my number to him. Smirking, he quipped, “This is your actual number, right, Bella Swan?”

  “Yes,” I said, and I blushed. I hoped he would call but didn’t want to say it. The night brought out a side of me that had been dormant for a long time. I’d begun referring to that period as the before: Before my dad died and broke my heart, before I transformed into the calorie-counting maniac who abused her body for skinniness.

  When the taxi pulled up, I disentangled from his arms. I kissed his cheek, lingering for a second too long. I breathed in his scent, already addicted t
o the subtle masculine aroma. As I took a step backward, I hoped his smell lingered on my skin, reminding me of the incredible night I’d had. Cameron escorted me into the cab and leaned over for a quick peck once I was crammed into the backseat with Brittany and Kurt.

  Brittany kissed her palm and blew it in his direction. “Bye lover boy!” she exclaimed. Her dark curls fell forward, concealing her face, and she began to laugh hysterically. I had a hunch I wasn’t going to live the night down anytime soon.

  When the door closed, I studied Cameron through the smudged windows of the cab. He stayed at the curb, watching us disappear from view. I was frightened by the intensity of my feelings, and I couldn’t help but speculate about when the other shoe would drop. He was too perfect, our time together too incredible, for it to turn into something more than a casual flirtation.

  Chapter Eight

  When I was a little girl, I would play a game that involved me spinning around in circles for as long as possible. When I’d finally fall, I’d press my head against the ground and revel in the dizzying sensation. Waking up the next morning to a spinning room after a night of drunken debauchery was decidedly less appealing.

  As I climbed out of bed, nausea snuck up on me and I made a beeline for the bathroom. The mixed drinks and shots stung my throat as the contents of my stomach emptied into the toilet. Once my stomach settled, I leaned my head against the chilly tiled walls. I hated that my first thought was I’d liberated myself from the exorbitant number of calories I’d ingested the night before.

  I flushed the toilet and splashed ice-cold water on my face. My eyes darted up to the mirror and I inspected the damage. Mirrors had been my enemy for a long time now. I despised my reflection. My face was puffy, and my eyes glittered with moisture. Last night’s mascara had blackened under my eyes and my lips were dry and cracked.

  As I fled from my reflection, Danielle was emerging from her room. She rubbed at her weary eyes and gave me a wan smile. “You sound just like Jess last night. I was holding back her hair for an hour. After I finally got some water into her, she passed out.”