Pieces of Me (Midnight Steel Trilogy Book 1)

by Lori J. Nelson

  “Not happening, man. We have important business to take care of. The band comes first, you know that. So stop being such a dick and go shower.” Ethan was not leaving until his friend was under running water. Only then, he’d set up his laptop downstairs for the conference call.

  The last thing Alek wanted to do was think about the band. Midnight Steel and Laz ruined his life with Corie. However, he was sober enough to know that this wasn’t just about him. He had responsibilities that just didn’t affect just him, there was Ethan, Tony, and Davey to think about. The last thing he wanted to do was talk band business, but he had to. He couldn’t let them down.

  “Fine. Just get out of my room, and I’ll be downstairs in ten,” Alek told his friend as he slammed the bathroom door.

  Once the shower water started, Ethan finally headed downstairs. First, he set up his laptop on the dining room table. It was a room that Laz rarely used, so it was in pretty decent shape. The kitchen was a disaster of empty take-out containers, dirty glasses, and bottles. Ethan shook his head at the three empty scotch bottles on the counter. He knew his friend was hurting, but he was not going to let him drink himself to death. They already had Davey to worry about, he couldn’t handle another like that.

  When Alek made his way downstairs, Ethan had made the kitchen halfway presentable. “Well you look better, mate,” he laughed. “And definitely smell better, too,” he added with an exaggerated sniff.

  “Fuck off, Ethan!” Alek told him, but there was a small smirk on his face. Ethan could always pull him out of his head better than anyone. It was nice to be distracted for a change. “Where’s your laptop?”

  “Dining room. Let’s go.”

  Within a few minutes, they were deep in conversation with the representatives from the record label and their agent who was there in person. Twenty minutes into the conversation, both Ethan and Alek were shaking their heads at each other.

  “So let me get this straight, Excalibur is offering a ten-year contract requiring five albums and a minimum of touring every summer?” Ethan asked.

  ‘Yes, Mr. Madden. We feel that is a most generous offer. Midnight Steel is one of our top artists, and we certainly want to accommodate you,” one of the lawyers from the label said.

  Ethan leaned back in the chair he was sitting in. “First, let me remind you that we are Excalibur’s top artist. Not one of, but the top artist this label has. We’ve been with you since the beginning, and that shows our loyalty to you. Now, if we are touring every year when do you think we’ll have time to write and record five albums? Or is sleeping not an option for us?”

  “Of course Excalibur wants their artists well-rested. An album every other year is pretty standard in the industry, so we felt…”

  “Just a damn minute,” Alek interrupted. He was already feeling like shit, and now the label was taking advantage of them. That was not going to happen. “We are not some new act that you can pull this bullshit with. We’ve been with Excalibur for almost fifteen years, and you are trying to treat us like we’re clueless virgins to the business. Bands like us don’t put out an album every other year. Not happening. No fucking way.” This is why Tony and Davey let them handle the business end. Ethan and Laz were no pushovers. Plus, they never went to one of these meetings unprepared.

  “Mark,” Ethan said directing his attention to their agent that was sitting in on the meeting. “Tell them our offer.”

  While Mark explained what the band wanted, Alek muted the meeting. “They have balls, Eth. The contract they want will have us working ourselves to death. That’s not why we do this.”

  “We agreed that if they don’t meet our demands, we walk. I know Universal or Atlantic would sign us in a fucking minute. We’ll give them a chance to regroup if they need to. That way we can say we honored Quincy. Okay?” Ethan held up the bottle of water he had been drinking from, and Alek did the same. A quick touching of the bottles sealed their agreement.

  Alek unmuted the conversation, and they went back to listening to their future being discussed in cold, clinical terms. Music was anything but cold and standard. It should be vibrant and forever.

  The video conference ended with the label’s representatives letting them know that they were going to have to take their requests to management and would get back to them when they had an answer. This was just another power play by the label. Alek and Ethan saw that immediately.

  “One week,” Ethan told them. “You have one week or Midnight Steel walks.” Then he disconnected the meeting link, and the laptop went black.

  “How long do you think it will take them?” Alek said, getting up to finally make a cup of coffee.

  Ethan followed him to the kitchen and sat down on one of the stainless stools in front of the black granite counter. “Since today is Thursday, I’m guessing by Monday we’ll have the contract we want.”

  “I hate this part of the business,” Alek sighed. “Wish we could just play our music.”

  “Oh, but if we just played how would we afford the houses, the cars, and the women.” Ethan saw the dirty look his friend flashed at him. “You may have sworn off women, Laz, but I haven’t. This is the life we dreamed about when we were kids, you know that.”

  “I know, I know,” Alek agreed sipping his steaming hot coffee. He had needed this hit of caffeine since the second he woke up. Holding mug of coffee in his hand, Alek leaned back against the counter and caught the eyes of his friend. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “That’s fine, but I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat,” Ethan suggested.

  “Okay. Let me finish getting dressed, and you figure out where to go.” Alek put his coffee mug in the sink and headed for the stairs. “But not Hannigan’s.”

  “Fuck. Why not, mate? They know how to pour a proper pint.”

  “Because they threw me out of there last week and I need time to figure out how to fix that.”

  Ethan laughed at his friend. “What did you do?”

  Alek popped his head back in the doorway, “Let’s just say that too much whiskey and a couple of dickheads from Liverpool bad mouthing Manchester United didn’t mix. Ian told me not to come back until I ‘Fix whatever the fuck was wrong with me’ and I guess I owe him money for damages.”

  “We’ll eat elsewhere, but then we can go back to Hannigan’s. You can apologize to Ian and take care of anything you owe him. That’s one of the few places we can relax at, and I’m not losing it,” Ethan told Alek.

  “Fuck it, all right,” Alek yelled from upstairs.

  Forty-five minutes later they were eating Thai food at a local restaurant where they usually went unnoticed. Alek’s stomach had settled down, so he was enjoying his Shrimp with Green Curry as Ethan ate his Chicken Thai Pad.

  “Hey, have you seen Isabelle lately?” Alek asked.

  He saw the usually easy going Ethan visibly tense up with his question. Isabelle was Ethan’s three-year-old daughter with a woman he had a brief relationship with. It was so short that he barely remembered her when she showed up backstage one night with a picture of a newborn claiming it was his. Ethan denied it instantly, but when she brought a lawyer into it, he demanded a blood test. It was a complete surprise to find out that little Isabelle was indeed his.

  Ethan always used protection whenever he had sex, but apparently, it didn’t work this time. He had seen his daughter only on a handful of occasions over the years. Her mother, Sharon, made it difficult for him to spend much time with the child, so of course, Isabelle was not comfortable with him even though he was her father. She saw him as a stranger

  All that Sharon cared about was that she was getting a hefty and timely child support check. The fact that they lived in two different countries made it even harder for Ethan to see his daughter regularly.

  “After you took off, I flew down to Tampa to see her.” The tension in Ethan’s face lightened up, and he smiled over at his old friend. “She’s so fucking beautiful, man. She even remembered me this time. I ha
d her for two days but brought her back to her bitch of a mother each night. Damn, I wish I could get custody of her and bring her back here. I don’t trust Sharon. There’s something not right going on there.”

  “What do you mean?” Alek asked between mouthfuls.

  “Can’t put my finger on it, man, but something’s off there, and I don’t like it.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Ethan took a sip of water. He had been thinking of a plan, and Laz was a good person to run this by. “I may hire a private investigator to keep an eye on her. It was a vibe I got about Sharon, Isabelle, and just everything. The last evening when I brought Isabelle back, she clung to me so hard that it broke my heart to give her back. The tears in her little eyes when I said goodbye had me crying as I drove away. It was like she wanted to stay with me and not Sharon.” He tried to take another bite of the Thai Pad but put the fork down instead. “I bought her that lovely house for the two of them, and it looks like crap inside. I peeked in the refrigerator when she took a call, and there was plenty of wine and beer, but very little food. Fuck man, what does she feed the kid?”

  Alek knew that even though Ethan didn’t talk much about his daughter that she still meant a lot to him. His friend had been angry at first being saddled with a kid from what was technically a one-night stand. It was hard for him to see Isabelle with him being on tour so much and living an ocean away. The little girl had the same dark hair and green eyes as her father. She had worked her way into the lead singer’s heart.

  “You going to hire the investigator?” Alek asked.

  “You think I should?”

  “Yeah, man. She’s your daughter and if Sharon’s not taking care of her, getting proof of that will help you get custody. You want that, right?”

  “Fuck, yeah I do!”

  “Then that’s your answer, Eth. Do it.” Alek took his last sip of beer and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He signaled for the check. When he looked back at his friend, he could see that had made up his mind. Sharon would be getting a tail on her…real soon.

  Alek paid for the dinner, and the two of them walked from where they parked Ethan’s sports car a few blocks towards Hannigan’s Pub. Alek had some apologizing to do.

  “So, can I assume you and Corie haven’t been able to work anything out?” Ethan asked on their way to the bar.

  “No. I can’t get in touch with her. Oh man, I never should have kept up the lie about who I was, but I never thought we’d end up falling for each other. I was such a stupid ass to never to have told her.” Alek still wished there was some way for him to get Corie to listen to him and beg her forgiveness. Apparently, the dozens of messages he left meant nothing to her. “I just don’t know what to do.’

  They were practically at the pub when Ethan suddenly stopped walking. “Don’t let it go, man. You need to find a way to tell her how you feel. Get creative if you have to, Laz. Just don’t let her slip away.”

  “You’re right. I have to find a way for her to hear what I’ve been trying to say.” He put his hand on the handle to open the door to Hannigan’s. “Let’s fix things with Ian and then I have some hard thinking to do.” Alek opened the door to their favorite pub and the sounds from inside filtered to them on the sidewalk. Ethan went in first, and Alek slunk in behind him. He had amends to make, with this being just the first of many.

  Later that night, Alek found himself unable to sleep, but sober for the first time weeks. He had to fix the mess he created with Corie. Pacing back and forth in his bedroom didn’t help, so he headed downstairs to try to get a different perspective. He had tried phone calls, texts, and even emails. The flowers he had sent her were refused. Her message that she wanted nothing to do with him was as clear as the night sky outside, but Alek just refused to accept it.

  As he walked barefoot through the first level of his spacious and awfully quiet home, he was overwhelmed with a profound sense of loneliness. What good was having all this money and fame if he couldn’t have the woman he wanted…the one he needed to share it with?

  Alek found himself in the one room he felt the most comfortable in, the one he made into his own. It held none of the fancy designer furniture that filled the rest of the house. Here he had plush sofas and cozy chairs to relax in. Even though he had a separate music studio on the other side of the house, he kept several of his older, but favorite acoustics here. They caught his eye the minute he stepped into the room.

  He hadn’t picked up a guitar since he returned home. It reminded him too much of why he lost Corie. His music and the band were the reason. The music he had loved was why he lied to her. In his head, it had made sense, but to everyone else, it had been an incredibly stupid and apparently unforgivable thing to have done.

  The second he touched the smooth wood of the neck of the guitar an idea popped into his head. Alek brought the instrument over to the sofa and absently strummed a few chords. Then a few more. New music flowed from his head to his hands until he realized he was writing a song.

  That’s when he knew he had to be in his studio recording this before he forgot it. He practically ran there still holding onto the old guitar. All the other expensive ones that lined the walls of his studio were ignored. The old Martin he had on his lap, the one that had cost him less than two hundred pounds all those years ago was what he needed to play.

  He sat down in his favorite chair and fiddled with his digital recording system until it was ready to go. Then he just played and played and played experimenting with chord combinations, melodies, and the chorus. Finally, when he felt he had the basics of the music down, he took a break. Alek didn’t care that it was the middle of the night when he moved to a table where he could write.

  Typically he and Ethan wrote their songs together. Alek was stronger with the music and Ethan was better with the lyrics, but they always wrote together for the band. But, this wasn’t for the band. This was for Corie, and he was talking to her the only way he knew how.

  Through his music.

  Now he had to put the music he felt into words. And for a long moment, he stared at the blank pad in front of him. He liked writing old school. But the words weren’t coming. Alek sat back in the chair and stretched his long legs out in front of him. He had to tell her how he felt, how everything just fell to pieces. His life, his music, his world - all broke apart into a million different pieces.

  Pieces.

  Suddenly he was flooded with lyrics, and he started to write as fast as he could.

  By

  sun up, he had almost all of the lyrics done. Now he just had to put everything together with the music. Alek was so driven to do this that is was early afternoon before he finished, completely exhausted. He had written his song for Corie.

  When he finally tumbled into bed, he was dead tired but excited at the same time. Now he just had to figure out how to get her to hear his song, but first, he needed to sleep. Maybe Ethan could help him come up with a way. He was always full of ideas. Tonight, when he woke up, he’d call his friend. But for now, he just needed to shut his brain off and sleep.

  “You wrote a song?” Ethan said in complete surprise. “The music? The lyrics? Everything?” The two of them stood in the middle of Alek’s studio. It was late at night, but musicians often lived on a different schedule than everyone else.

  “Well, you said to get creative. So I did.”

  “Show me what you wrote.”

  Alek handed him the pad where he had a clean copy of the lyrics he had spent most of the night writing. He was nervous as he watched his friend read through the page several times. Was it as good as he thought or would Ethan tell him it was just a load of romantic bullshit?

  “I can’t believe you fucking wrote this, mate. And without me.”

  “I did, took me all night, but is it good? Do you understand what I am trying to say to her?” Yes or no. Why couldn’t Ethan just tell him if it was good or a piece of shit?

  “Good? It’s bloody brilliant! What ab
out the music? Play it for me with the music. I have to hear it all together.”

  Alek’s hands were almost shaking when he picked up the guitar. Ethan’s opinion meant the world to him, and this was the most important song he had ever written. They sat down in chairs opposite of each other and Alek started to sing…

  Livin’ the dream as king of the world

  Had everything I could ever want

  Nothing was forbidden in the rock and roll kingdom

  Went through people quickly and forgot

  Once it worked and fell into place

  But the stars blinded the truth

  Fade into nothing, chaos is mute

  A blur now where there was a face

  Hate consumed, Alcohol fumes

  A world where there is no place

  Pieces of me, that no one can see

  Pieces of me, needing to be free

  Pieces of me, wanting to be whole

  Pieces of me, you are in my soul

  Darkness controlled the cage of twisted metal

  Pain and terror ruled the night

  Through the blinding white, I was saved

  And in a moment the shattered life was changed

  Scattered parts began to heal

  Frantic to find the haven

  I’m lost in your world, forever lost in you

  Real in the life with broken edges now smooth

  Free of the trap I put myself in

  I can never live without you

  Pieces of me, that no one can see

  Pieces of me, needing to be free

  Pieces of me, wanting to be whole

  Pieces of me, you are in my soul

  Pieces of me, that no one can see

  Pieces of me, needing to be free

  Pieces of me, wanting to be whole

  Pieces of me, you are in my soul

  Forever in my soul

  I am now whole

  Alek stopped singing and rested the guitar against the wall behind him. When he looked at Ethan, he saw a huge smile on his face. He liked it. Thank God.