Promise To Keep

by Rainwater, Priscilla Poole

  “Thought I would bring you some coffee, since you missed breakfast.” he said, and handed him a piping hot cup of freshly brewed coffee in a styrofoam cup. “One cream, one sugar, just like you like it.”

  Taking a sip, his stomach growled loudly. “Thanks. I wanted to get an early start today, and I wasn’t hungry.”

  “Oh, really now? Your stomach is telling me otherwise.“ he chuckled, then sat on a nearby bale of hay. “Take a load off.“ he said, motioning to another one nearby. Looking at the younger man closely, he noticed the dark bags under his eyes, it was quite clear to him that he hadn’t had a good nights rest, if any. “You know, Jonus, if you ever need someone to talk to talk to, I can be a pretty good listener.”

  Sighing, he dragged the bale of hay closer to him and sat, eager, yet hesitant to discuss things that had plagued him ever since returning to the states from the war. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, he decided to take a chance and share his dark secret, then pray he didn’t lose his friend. “Connell, I know both you and Aisha are smart enough to have noticed I think the world of Zamora. The thing is, I want to be more than just a friend to her, but there are things about me, bad things, things that make me believe she’d be better off without ever getting close to me.”

  Connell sat quietly, paying close attention to what the man said, his curiosity piqued. Jonus had been carrying a heavy burden the entire time he had been working for him, it was evident to anyone that had a lick of common sense, and he himself prided himself on that.

  “First, I know my father could have a problem with Zamora, but not because she’s black. It’s all about him not having a say in me being with her. It’s all about control for him, it’s been that way for as long as I can remember.”

  Connell shrugged and nodded. Since he didn’t really care for Ed Thompson one way or the other, he could honestly give a fair and objective comment about the man’s motives concerning Jonus. “You and Zamora are both adults, and you’ve both got a good head on your shoulders. All I can tell you, for your sake, my friend, is if you do get involved with her, do right by her. You know Aisha almost as well as I do, and if Zamora’s not happy, that means Aisha’s not happy.“ In a rare, playful moment for him, he pantomimed a shiver of fear and said, “If someone does wrong by her, we’d both best haul ass. I don’t even want to think about what she would do, but I do know it wouldn’t be pretty. It might even involve an axe….”

  Both men laughed, knowing how protective and mean Aisha could be, under the right, or wrong circumstances.

  His smile vanishing slowly, Jonus looked him in the eye, hesitated, then said, “Well, there is something I’ve needed to get off my conscious for years, something that was known only to me and God, before today.”

  Motioning politely for him to continue, Connell sipped his coffee in silence.

  “While I was in the service, overseas during the war, there was someone ….special, to me, her name was Bahiya. She lived in Kalahari, a town my unit patrolled. She had been teaching a small school for girls after we had more or less cleared out the Taliban, and it was the first time in years that girls or women could get a proper education without having to worry about being caught and punished. But even with the Taliban gone it was dangerous for her because of extremists, those still secretly sympathetic to the ousted Taliban leaders. I mean, for years they had been killing women for much less than what Bahiya was doing, I had seen them kill men for shaving their beards.“

  “I had heard and seen stories to that effect. On the news, of course.“ Connell grunted, paying closer attention as Jonus averted his gaze. The mans eyes took on a cold, thousand yard stare, as if he wasn’t sitting in a barn on a bail of hay, but was instead back in at that awful place.

  “I met her when my unit helped with building a new school, in our spare time. On my days off, she would slip away with me and we would talk about our different cultures for hours on end. We both discovered we had always shared lot of misconceptions about one another. I learned that only a small percentage of her people were actually violent, crazed religious zealots, and she learned that only a small percentage of people from the Western hemisphere were warmongers. I really started caring for her, but I always respected the fact that she could get hurt, or even killed because of me. Despite that, I had already decided to try to find a way to get her to the states, which wasn’t going to be easy.” Closing his eyes, his voice became strained for the first time. “There were four guys that I served with, we had been together since my promotion to shift commander, as a First Lieutenant, and they were people I trusted, people I thought had the same values and morals I did. Anyway, I always told her that if she ever needed help while I was out on patrols myself, to go to them, that they were good guys who could be trusted. But I was wrong.“ he finished, the words laced bitterness and pure rage.

  Connell closed his eyes, and an inkling of what was to come made his heart sink.

  “One day while I was gone she went to them, because her father had found out about the two of us, and was going to make her marry one of the locals, because he feared if it was ever discovered she had any kind of relations with an American soldier, it would dishonor her family. So she went to them for help and advice, because I told her she could…always trust them…” His voice suddenly broke, and he began to sob hoarsely, the words coming in between gasps of breath. “She was such a sweet, pretty woman…instead of helping her.. they…they…dragged her off into an empty building and gang raped her….Ohhhh God…how was I supposed to know…?“

  “Sweet Jesus….” Connell muttered. Tossing his coffee cup aside he got up and sat down beside him, wrapping a burly arm around his shoulder reassuringly. In a low, comforting voice, he said, “Jonus, listen to me. Trusting your fellow soldiers didn’t, or does not, make you guilty of anything. They‘re the ones who did it, not you. And they‘re the ones who have to stand before God someday and answer for it, not you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “But..I DID do something I never should have, besides believing those four were decent people. After they…did that to her, she ran back to her family in a panic and told them what had happened. Her father and three brothers…. killed her for bringing dishonor on the family! Don‘t you see? All of that would have never happened had I used better judgment and never gotten involved with her to begin with. I knew better, I knew how fucked up some of their customs were! I was the reason she was murdered! It was all because me. ME!” he sobbed hopelessly as he closed his eyes, trying to block the memory of her battered body from his mind.

  “Jesus. Jonus, I can‘t begin to tell you how sorry I am for you. I do understand how it feels to lose someone so close to you, but….to have it happen that way…”

  Suddenly sitting up straight, he wiped a forearm across his eyes, as if angry at himself for crying. In a steely voice, he said, “But they got theirs, later. The guys I trusted, I mean. I didn’t find out about the rape until my platoon sergeant pulled me aside one day and showed me a video clip of it that the four had made, the sick fuckers. They had been passing it around the base camp, in secret, and someone tipped him off about it anonymously. While they were away one day, he broke into their footlockers and found it. Since I was in command of the unit, we both discussed it in private, and both felt that they should be dealt with….in a different manner than usual. Not wanting to jeopardize his career as well as mine, I thanked him for his help and told him to let me handle it myself. You see, just days before, I had received intelligence that warned me to not to send my people into certain area, because insurgents were already in place and planning ambushes on any peacekeeping forces. I sent the four of them off on a wild goose chase there, under the guise of reconnaissance. They never came back alive. So not only do I have her blood on my hands, I have theirs as well. I’m….everything…everyone I come into contact with, and grow to care about, something bad always seems to happen. And in my eyes, I‘m not worthy of someone as sweet, as innocent, as Zamora.” he finished.
<
br />   “Jonus, son, I’m telling you this as a friend. Don’t let guilt eat you away inside. It wasn’t your fault what happened to your lady friend, what happened to her was at the hands of others, not you. Seems to me, from what you’ve told me, you were simply trying to do the right thing, the decent thing, by trying to help her and others improve their quality of life. Her blood is on her family’s hands, not yours. And as far as those soldiers go, I say they got what was coming to them, take that for what it’s worth. And there’s something else I want you to remember. That was then, and this is now. Different culture, different values, different world, and there’s no way a good, conscientious man like you can ruin a young woman’s life simply by caring for her, you see what I’m saying? As much as I hate what you had to go through, I still have to tell you this: You can’t live in the past. I tried that after Jenny passed away, and it would have destroyed me completely me if it hadn’t been for your help around here, and especially that precious wife of mine. Jonus, you grab that beauty and hang on, live life everyday like it may be your last, because before you know it, it’ll be here one day, and gone the next, but I think you already know that, don’t you? he finished in a soft voice.

  Standing slowly, Jonus looked at him gravely and said, “Thanks, Connell. Thank you for listening and…and for not judging me.”

  Standing himself, Connell patted his shoulder and said, “You bet. For what it’s worth, what you’ve told me will never leave this barn, you have my word. You’ve bared your soul, and I’ll never betray that trust, not even with Aisha. And if you ever need a sympathetic ear again, or just need to vent about something, don’t act like such a stranger, come talk to me. You’re part of this family, alright?”

  Nodding silently, Jonus watched in wonder as his friend left. He felt purged, relaxed, and content, for the first time since returning home to the states.

  ******************************************

  Zamora chased Abby and Shawn around the yard, delighting in their laughter and screams of excitement. She had grown close to both of them, and loved them like they were her own blood kin. Grabbing the Nerf football, she waved it in the air to get Shawn’s attention, then tossed it. He stumbled after it clumsily, squealing, with Abby chasing behind. Looking at them, she smiled to herself. I’m so happy to have a real family now. she thought. She didn’t miss the compound, and the harsh rules that had been enforced there. Her only regret was that she missed her mother, Ezekiel, and her nephew.

  A sudden tingling at the back of her neck alerted her, and she turned to see Jonus, standing behind her. Ok, remember, do like Aisha said, and make him do some of the chasing.. she reminded herself.

  “Hey….” he said, awkwardly, suddenly caught off guard.

  “Hey, Uncle Jonus!” Abby called to him from a distance, then waved.

  “Oh, hiya’ honey!” he answered back with a wave of his own.

  Turning her attention back to Shawn, she lifted his shirt and began blowing raspberries on his belly, making him squeal, then fall to the ground.

  “Oh, hey yourself.” Zamora said as she looked at Jonus with what she hoped was a neutral expression. “Haven’t seen you around much the last few weeks.”

  He stepped a bit closer, and willed himself to look into her eyes. As she stood there and tossed her hair over her shoulder in a casual manner, the fresh scent of sandalwood coming from her began driving him crazy. Nervous, he hooked both thumbs in his belt loops. “Yeah, been kinda’ busy trying to get some business taken care of. Heard you’ve been driving yourself to school.” he mentioned causally. Ben and Helen had taken it upon themselves to get her familiar with driving the country roads. (She had had a little driving experience previously, she had explained to them. While still living at the compound, Ezekiel had secretly taught her to drive when he would take her into town on errands) Helen had subsequently helped her study for her license, then drove her to the DMV, where she passed the exam on her first try. He had been aware of all this while it was happening, and had been so worried the first few times she drove alone he had actually followed her to school, making sure he stayed far enough behind that she didn’t notice he was following.

  Unable to help it, she looked up at him with dreamy eyes, touched by his concern, and that he cared enough to even mention it.

  Don‘t be so nervous, just ask! You‘ve asked out beautiful women before!” his mind screamed. “Uhhh, I was just wondering if you would like to go out with me…on a date.” he asked awkwardly. “I know this great seafood place in Johnson City, and there’s a new movie complex there. We could check out a movie, after dinner. If you want to go, I mean. Tonight.”

  Yes, YES, I would go anywhere with you, you beautiful, handsome fool! she wanted to scream, but instead it was Abby, who had ran back to them silently, who piped in her answer.

  “Yes! I can’t wait until I tell Daddy and Ma!” (the girl had recently taken to calling Aisha her ‘Ma‘, and when referring to her real mother, ‘Mommy‘)” Clapping her hands together excitedly, she bounced up and down on the tip of her toes. “Uncle Jonus, are your going to marry Aunt Zamora?” Beckoning for him bend down face to face with her, she whispered loudly in his ear. “She really, really likes you, a whole lot! She’s always telling Ma how handsome and sweet you are.”

  He chuckled, then glanced at Zamora furtively, who looked absolutely mortified. Clearing his throat, he stood upright once more, and ruffled her long hair affectionately. “Well, we’ll just have to start with dinner and a movie, and we’ll go from there.”

  Her face still burning with embarrassment, Zamora stooped and picked Shawn up. “Sounds fun, I’ll be ready at six. That’s when Aisha and Connell should be returning from their birthing classes.” she said, then turned and headed for the house.

  “Ok, I’ll be here, six sharp..!” he called after her.

  Once inside, she peeked out the front window, watching him get into his recently washed and detailed Toyota 4x4 pickup. “He asked me out!” she sang, then began doing the happy dance with Shawn and Abby. “He actually asked me out on a date! My first REAL date!”

  ***********************************************

  The Tribe of Eden compound

  Ezekiel was more content than he had been for years as he watched his young son Gabriel laughing. The child was watching “Over the Hedge” on his laptop, and it was the very first time in his short life he had been allowed to watch a movie. He himself no longer even tried to conceal his ‘improper behavior‘, ever since the meeting where his father had physically struck him. Following that, he had actually stopped attending the mandatory meetings. It was an act of defiance that would have resulted in any other member of the compound being severely punished, including any of the elders. Every male in the compound, sensing a power struggle and a powder keg of emotions that were primed to blow, had been giving him a lot of elbowroom, and had been doing their best to avoid him, including his father. Since that day, the two of them had drawn invisible lines in the sand so to speak, and had been circling one another like wary lions, each waiting for the other to pounce first. So, for once in his life, he didn’t care if his father approved of him or not.

  With a heavy sigh, he poured himself another cup of coffee from the carafe, stirred in one teaspoon of sugar and cream, then took a sip, his thoughts drifting to his wife, Mary. Things had been strained between them even before the fallout, and the raid on the compound by the state police and social workers, but now she was barely acknowledging his existence. He had tried to talk to her about the situation, but every time he brought up the subject, she became almost hostile. In hopes of mending the mysterious rift (mysterious to him, at least) he had endeavored to go out of his way to be more romantic than he had been in years, but every time he made love to her, he could sense something unpleasant, as if she was disgusted with the act, but was fearful of saying so. In addition to that, she had became a constant companion of his father’s, along with Samuel, which he found odd, considerin
g his father’s views on women. If I didn’t know any better, I would almost think something….taboo was going on with them. And why would he, THEY, be heeding advise from my wife, when father never even CONSIDERS my mother’s thoughts or feelings.. he wondered, more confused than ever.

  “Look, Daddy!” his son’s voice interrupted. In between giggles, the boy pointed his little finger at the screen, and fell over laughing as a squirrel in the movie began burping his ABC’s. My son has never laughed like this! How can I cheat him out of his childhood, the way I was cheated out of mine ? he thought, feeling shame, and finally, anger. The only way I can give him the life he deserves, is to take him and LEAVE.

  A timid knock at the door startled them both. Glancing quickly at his son, his heart ached even worse at the look on the boy’s face. His eyes were wide with fear because, even at such a young age, he knew he wasn’t supposed to be watching ‘forbidden’ movies. “It’s alright, son, just watch your movie.” he said softly.

  Getting up slowly, he approached the door and opened it a crack, then smiled as he saw his mother. Opening the door wider, he motioned for her to enter, then closed the door and locked it. Turning to face her, he noticed she looked tired and nervous.