Geoff stacked some pancakes on a plate and placed them on the counter next to the bowl of fruit Ben had put there. "Tuck in."
Geoff paused, watching Ben load his plate up with pancakes, then pour copious amounts of syrup over the top before placing fruit on the pile as well. He raised an eyebrow when he caught Ben looking at him.
Ben flushed and shrugged. "I really like pancakes."
Geoff pursed his lips. "It sure does look that way. Don't worry, I'm making more."
He thought he heard a garbled 'good' before he turned back to the cooker and poured more mix into the pan. It was good to see Ben eating and being more open with him. He needed to smile more because when he did, it lit up his whole face and Geoff could admit he was a sucker for those dimples.
Before Ben had left, he'd been moody, withdrawn and non-communicative and now, he seemed more at ease, more open. Maybe his experience back on the streets had opened his eyes, and he'd realised that he had the chance to escape from it.
Geoff wasn't stupid to think that the worse was over. If there was anything he'd learned from Seb about his relationship with Tom was that there were good days and bad. Though Tom did appear to be doing better now. Geoff could understand a little about the reasons why Ben had behaved the way he had. It couldn't have been easy growing up the way he had. More like pure hell. Never knowing if you were going to be beaten or starved or locked in a dark room. The emotional abuse can be just as bad if not worse than the physical abuse. No wonder Ben had such low self-esteem and felt worthless.
Putting the pancakes on another plate, Geoff switched the cooker off and sat down to eat when he realised that Ben had virtually finished the first pile of pancakes. He looked from the plate to Ben and back again. Ben just shrugged, smiled sheepishly, and then carried on eating.
"I've got a lot of catching up to do," Ben mumbled between mouthfuls of food.
"No, no, it's fine," Geoff muttered more to himself. There'd easily been enough on the plate for both of them, and he'd made more because he'd seen how many Ben had piled on his plate. At the rate Ben was eating, Geoff would have to make more.
Geoff kept furtively glancing at Ben as he ate. He really was very attractive. He was underweight, there was no denying that, but Geoff could see how good looking Ben was. And those dimples?
But, why had Ben come back? What had he experienced when he'd been out there? What had he seen or done?
"I can see you, you know. What's up?" Ben asked, glancing up at Geoff.
"I'm glad you're back, but..."
"You want to know why I came back?"
"Yeah." Geoff nodded. "Why the sudden change of heart? When you stormed out of here, I thought for sure that was it. I was never going to see you again. You barely acknowledged me when you were here and, as I said, I'm glad you're here now, but what made you come back?"
"I had a lot of stuff to work out, a lot of things going on in my head. I was arguing with myself. Always second guessing myself. No, don't call for the padded wagon yet." Ben smiled slightly. "But part of me wanted to come back, and yet a part of me felt like I didn't deserve it." Ben shrugged. "I guess that's something from my past, you know, how they treated me. I've always felt useless like I couldn't do anything right. I suppose if you hear it said often enough you start to believe it and I certainly did." Ben looked Geoff in the eye. "I didn't feel like I belonged here. I'd thought about killing myself, but that didn't work out so well, and that seemed to fuel this feeling of how shit I was. I guess though, deep down I wanted to live, and it was only when I was back on the streets that I realised it. I couldn't go back to how things were. Sleeping rough and letting strangers fuck me for a few quid."
Ben paused, as if he was trying to find the right words. "I remember speaking to Tom about it. When Seb wanted him to move in, and Tom had said he couldn't do it, that he didn't feel like he could leave us and that he didn't deserve it. I told him that he had a chance for a new beginning, and he should take it. Yet, I couldn't do the same thing."
"I wrote in the journal you gave me. I felt stupid when I started, but once I did, I couldn't stop. It all just kinda poured out of me. You know what I mean?" Geoff nodded before Ben continued. "I was sat in this alley and there was a kid, younger than me, shooting up. I knew then that I had to leave. Adam was dead, and that could easily have been me. Nothing I do will change the fact that Adam isn't coming back, and I don't want to end up like him. I want a life, a chance to be someone. That's not selfish, is it?" Ben asked Geoff, staring at him.
Geoff paused for a moment before he spoke. He hadn't expected Ben to say so much, especially after everything he'd told him the night before, so he chose his words carefully. "It's not selfish. You've been through enough for someone your age."
"And you have no problems with me coming back here? It's alright, isn't it? If not, I can leave, I'll understand. I wasn't exactly nice to you, was I?" Ben asked, biting his lip.
This was not the conversation Geoff was expecting to have this morning. He didn't want Ben to leave. If anything, he wanted to get to know him more. What Geoff saw now was someone he could like, maybe even something more? But, he had to go slowly and carefully. As he'd told Ben, he'd been through enough.
"I want you to stay. I kept the bed made in the hope I'd find you and convince you to come back."
"You looked for me?" Ben asked with wide eyes.
"Both Seb and I. We didn't tell Tom at first—that's why he's so angry now. Seb wanted to tell him, but I convinced him not to. I owe them both an apology."
Ben messed with the cutlery, biting his bottom lip again. "I'll apologise to them. I caused this mess so it should be me." Ben took a deep breath in. "There is something I want to do."
"What?"
"I'd like to get tested. I know the others have and even though I was always safe, I'd like to make sure. Could you help me arrange it?" Ben looked flushed when he finished speaking and wouldn't look Geoff in the eye.
Geoff smiled. It was good to see that Ben was concerned about his health. Different to his behaviour before. "Yes, of course I'll help. Do you want to see Clara again?"
Ben nodded. "Yeah. Even though I only spoke to her once, I think I need it. She was nice to me."
"I can arrange that for you as well. Anyway, have you had enough to eat?"
"Yeah, I'm stuffed now." Ben leaned back, patting his stomach.
"Go, get changed and we can do something today if you want."
Ben smiled. "I'd like that."
"Think about what you want to do and we can go out."
"Hey, can we meet Tom and Seb? I'd like to apologise to them."
"Sure, I'll call Seb now and see what we can arrange."
Geoff watched Ben leave the kitchen and smiled. Ben's behaviour had done a complete turnaround, and he appeared more settled. The atmosphere in the house felt lighter and there was less tension in the air.
He phoned Seb, and they arranged to meet for lunch in the city. Once the call was finished, Geoff went upstairs to get ready and plan their day.
CHAPTER EIGHT
They spent a couple of hours walking around Manchester City Centre, getting to know one another before meeting Seb and Tom for lunch. As they walked up to the restaurant, Geoff saw them standing outside waiting. He felt Ben tense up beside him, slowing slightly when he caught sight of them, and Geoff turned to look at him.
"Hey, don't worry. Tom was concerned for you too," Geoff reminded him.
"I know, but I feel like I let him down. I told him to go to Seb when he had the chance, yet I couldn't do the same thing when I had the chance." Ben bit his lip, glancing at Tom and Seb.
Geoff grabbed his arm and stopped him, turning him to face him. "It will be fine. Sure, he's angry, but he'll get over it. Go up to him and apologise and everything will work out."
"Hope you're right," he heard Ben mutter before he continued walking towards them.
Seb turned and waved to them as they got closer, and Geoff saw him lean over to Tom an
d say something to him. Tom frowned and then shrugged before pulling Seb in for a kiss, smiling at him.
"Before you say anything, I want to apologise for the way I've acted." Ben avoided their eyes, looking anywhere but at Tom and Seb. Ben shoved his hands in his pockets, shoulders slumped.
Tom stepped forward, pulling Ben in for a hug, whispering something to him that Geoff couldn't hear. He saw Ben nod his head a couple of times before stepping back and smiling at Seb. "Hi."
Seb smiled. "Should we go in? It's not too warm today."
Geoff held the door open and they all walked inside. They only had to wait a minute before being led to a table by the window. Geoff sat next to Ben and put his hand on Ben's leg when it bounced up and down. Ben murmured 'sorry' to him and stopped moving his leg.
"So how are things going, Tom?" Geoff asked him.
"I've decided to go to college, finish my education. I might do A-levels after that. Matt and Luke have already chosen the courses they want to take, and I thought I should finish mine too. You need a good education nowadays, and I don't want to sponge off -"
"It's not sponging!" Seb interrupted him.
"It is to me. Anyway, I'm looking for a job, but with no education, it's been difficult." Tom shrugged.
The waiter came over at that point and they ordered their drinks. Geoff had a job in mind for Tom but wasn't sure if he'd be receptive or not. He didn't want Tom to believe he was only offering him the job because of his relationship with Seb, but he knew being employed would improve Tom's self-esteem and he needed to feel better about himself.
"I have an offer for you, Tom. I've had to let an employee go, they weren't working out, so I need someone I can trust to fill in for me. It's minimum wage, but the real downside is-" he paused for effect- "you'd see Seb several times a day."
Tom looked at him sceptically as he cocked his head. "What is it?"
"Filing."
"Filing?" Tom repeated, frowning.
"You can do it until you go to college, plus it'll look good on your CV."
"Why would you offer me this job?" Tom asked warily, pushing back from the table and crossing his arms over his chest.
Seb dropped his head in his hands before looking at him. "Maybe he just wants to offer you a job."
"Look, I can't help being the way I am. I'm still not used to people helping for no other reason than because they want to."
"So, you'll take it then?" Geoff asked. "You can start Monday and work the same hours as Seb, that way you don't have to pay for transport."
Tom frowned at him. "Hang on, I haven't agreed to it yet."
"But you will. You know me, Tom. Take the offer."
Tom leaned back in his chair, searching Geoff's face. Geoff had grown accustomed to people staring at him, so this didn't concern him. He could see Seb looking more and more horrified the longer the staring contest continued. Eventually, Tom nodded.
"Okay. I'll be there tomorrow."
"Glad we got that sorted. Shall we order? I'm starving, and I know Ben can eat!"
Ben snorted out a laugh. "It was a few pancakes!"
"A few? That pile was for both of us, but I saw how many you piled on your plate so I made more."
"Really? That small pile was for both of us?"
"What's this?" Seb asked them, looking between the two of them.
"When Ben decided to get up, he spotted the pancakes and had the majority of them. Not that I minded, I was glad to see him eating, but he can certainly put food away."
Ben blushed, muttering, "Shut up."
Geoff laughed, shaking his head as he looked over at him. Ben looked back at him and also smiled, making his dimples pop out. Geoff paused, staring at him. Damn, Ben was gorgeous.
They were interrupted by the arrival of the waiter with their drinks and, after quickly looking at the menu, they ordered food.
Lunch went well, and Geoff was able to observe the changes in Tom. He'd come a long way from that boy he'd first met and that had only been a couple of months ago. Obviously Seb was good for him. And as for Seb, he was the happiest Geoff had ever seen him.
Once they finished, they left the restaurant and said their goodbyes and Geoff and Ben walked slowly back to where he'd parked his car.
"That went well," Geoff commented to Ben.
"Yeah, it did. I thought for sure Tom was gonna go off on one, but he seemed a lot calmer. Not that he was a hothead anyway, but it's nice to see him looking happier. I know he came to see me, and I pretty much ignored him."
"He knew you had things to work out."
"He was always trying to look out for us and keep up safe. He would pass on any news he'd heard, you know if we shouldn't go to a certain area for a while or avoid one altogether. He's not much older than me, but he cared about us."
"I forget you're only eighteen."
"Almost nineteen." Ben shrugged as he flushed.
"When?"
"Fifteenth of March."
"That's only a couple of weeks away."
"Yeah."
A party would be nice for Ben. "We could have the four of them over for a meal if you want."
"You would do that for me?" Ben asked, eyes wide.
"Sure. Wow, to be nineteen again." Geoff chuckled to himself.
"You're not that much older than me."
"Sixteen years older, Ben."
"Too young for you, then." Ben seemed horrified when he realised what he'd said, his hand covering his mouth. "Oh fuck, forget I said that. Please."
Geoff stopped walking and looked at Ben. He'd thought this attraction was one-sided, but it would appear that wasn't the case.
"Too old for you?" Geoff said as he watched Ben's flush deepen and stare at his feet. "Come on, let's go home."
Ben began walking but avoided making eye contact with him. Geoff sighed as they reached the car. Leaning over the roof, he waited for Ben to look up at him. When he did, he smiled. "It's okay. I know I'm old and wrinkly. Not hip enough." Putting his hand on his chest, Geoff sighed dramatically. "Be still, my poor heart."
"Shut up. Man, you're embarrassing," Ben murmured, rolling his eyes.
Geoff laughed as he unlocked the car and they got in.
❊❊❊
Monday he was back at work updating some of the cases he was handling when he heard a knock on his door. When he looked up, he saw Tom there, hesitating in the doorway glancing around Geoff's office.
"Come in, Tom. Don't stand on ceremony. Take a seat." Geoff smiled at him pointing to the chair opposite.
Tom came in and sat in front of him, messing with the cuffs on his shirt, then the collar. It was when Tom was pulling at his pants that Geoff spoke.
"You don't have to be nervous, you know. Relax. Today I'm going to show you the file room that needs a lot of work, and I mean a lot of work. You can then get to know the place and meet the people who work here."
"Yeah. Look, I don't want to mess things up, and I don't want this to affect Seb's job here."
"Whatever happens with you and Fosters will have no impact on Seb's job here. Don't worry about that. If it doesn't work out, at least we tried, right? You also need to sign some forms, you know DPA, data protection act, et cetera, and your contract."
Tom sighed, nodding before a wry grin crossed his face. "Nerves." He shrugged.
"Let's go down to where you'll be working and I'll show you around."
Geoff stood and, with Tom following, walked him towards the file room. He paused before opening the door then waved Tom in ahead of him. He almost walked into Tom, he'd stopped so abruptly in front of him. He watched Tom look at the room slowly before he turned to face him.
"This is...fuck...sorry. I don't know what to say. I hate to ask, but what system was being used?"
Geoff looked around the room and winced. With everything that had been going on with Ben, he hadn't been aware of the fuck up that was occurring. He'd employed someone to ensure that the room was kept tidy and organised, as at any time a file may be
needed, and he'd done nothing of the sort. There were files stacked together, drawers hanging open with files spilling out. Some files had had their paperwork scattered across the floor and he groaned when he realised just how large the task would be to get the room back in full working order.
"Yes, the man I had employed just shoved them in, or not, as it would appear. Of course, I would have found out sooner, but I've been distracted with the situation with Ben and I didn't pay attention. Staff tried to mention there was a problem, but it stupidly slipped my mind. It was only last week that I finally did something about it when I came in here and found him smoking a joint."
Tom chuckled, shaking his head. "Okay. What system did you have in place then?"
"What do you know?"
Tom looked at him incredulously. "You're just asking me this now?"
Geoff rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Tom shook his head walking further into the room, stepping over spilled paperwork or bending to look at some files.
"Lucky for you I do have some experience. My parents had their own business. Corner shop. I did stock taking, inventory and spreadsheets. When I was older, I took on a Saturday job because it actually paid and I wanted money."
"Good. Come over here and I'll explain how it should be set up."
Twenty minutes later and Geoff had shown Tom everything he needed to know to get the room organised. Tom had asked sensible questions that had surprised him. He had a lot of knowledge, and he found himself wondering why his parents would kick him out for being gay. He was clearly intelligent, probably smarter than he realised. As he was getting ready to leave, he heard Tom speak.
"Sorry. What was that?"
"You and Ben. Do you like him?"
"Sure, he's a nice young man." Geoff frowned facing Tom.
"'Nice young man.' Okay. Do you like him? As in like him. You know, fancy him, find him attractive."
"What?"
"I'm not blind. I saw the way you were both looking at each other yesterday. I think it's cool. He deserves someone nice like you."
"Hang on, back up. Looking at each other? How were we looking at each other?" Geoff asked, shaking his head. How had he been looking at Ben? And, he hadn't noticed Ben looking at him either.
New Beginnings (Second Chances Book 2) Page 7