Praefatio: A Novel

by Georgia McBride

  But I couldn’t kill him, not then, not before knowing if my brother was OK. The moment the thoughts left my brain, I knew he’d heard them. The knowing, obnoxious smile that crept from one side of his face to the other told me so. He ran a hand over his tattooed arm, and I tried not to look at his bare chest.

  “Remi’s fine as far as I know. I don’t think you have to worry about him. As for Jenny, I’m afraid I can’t say the same.” He ran his fingers through his hair, letting each strand fall over his left eye.

  “Could you be more obnoxious?” I grabbed Gavin by the neck, then a strange feeling overtook me. I let it. I flew him up to the ceiling, clutching his neck as the cottony blanket fell back to the bed.

  “Temper, temper!” Gavin said, out of breath as he looked down at me, smiling. His hair framed his reddened face. “Remind me not to piss you off again, Archangel Grace Ann Miller.”

  “Archangel?” Mom—Vivienne—had said I was the daughter of a seraph.

  “Yes, Archangel. Has no one told you what you are?” He sighed, and his look turned from snide to concerned in seconds. He used my distraction to break my hold on him, grab my arms, and place them behind my back. He held me there long enough for me to be embarrassed by how closely he held me to him. I wanted to explore my feelings, but, as I stared into his eyes, I felt myself getting tired, weak, and listless.

  Then, I was exhausted—not just tired, exhausted like I’d completed a triathlon and then climbed Mount Everest. My limbs ached, burned, and trembled beneath him. He lowered me slowly down to the bed. My back and shoulders felt like they were on fire, and my head pounded.

  I could hardly keep my eyes open.

  “Grace, listen to me,” he pleaded and placed my head gently on his pillow. “You must talk to your parents—er, Gabriel and Vivienne. They are supposed to teach you, to prepare you for the war that’s coming. I can hardly protect you if you have no idea what you need protection from. Your family and I agree that you should live with me here at Kheiron. I will protect you until you are able to fully protect yourself, which from the looks of things isn’t too far away. But you must be careful; using your celestial talents now will only weaken you, since your ascension is not complete. That’s why you’re so weak. When you wake next, you’ll need refuge. You will be hunted. Let me take care of you. Let me protect you.” There was pleading in his eyes and a strain in his voice.

  Your family and I decided? What am I, five? And what does he mean I can’t use my talents? I fought giants and eyeball demons, won. Shows how much he knows. As for their arrangement, it feels an awful lot like being traded in some sort of arranged marriage. And not fully ascended? That’s news to me.

  Gavin put his arms around me, then his large, black wings. Inside his cocoon, I felt safe, safer than I’d ever felt. I also felt anxious and slightly cold. Odd since I had felt so warm last time. He spoke to my mind.

  Grace, today I understand the human expression “mixed blessing.” I have held you in my thoughts and in my heart since the day you were born. Today I hold you in my arms, yet my heart is breaking. To know I may never do so again may finally be the death of me. I have watched you become a remarkable woman: caring, kind, loving, and slightly neurotic. If things get crazy and I forget to tell you, happy birthday. He hurried toward the end, and there was a smile in his tone as he offered his last term of endearment. I have come to love you deeply, desperately, and without regret. Sleep well, my angel.

  ***

  I woke, disoriented and with no idea how long I had been asleep. It seemed like hours, but could totally have been minutes. Images danced around me of Mom, Remi, Dad, the Larsons, the hospital, the Garden, school, Gavin, the winged bears, mega dogs, and Kip Jones, the lead singer of Remi’s sorry band, of all people. What a dork. But I would have given anything to see him right then, to feel normal again.

  Thoughts of Kip’s uneven smile, giant feet, and red hair were drowned out by the sound of beeping and voices. I squinted, realizing I was no longer at Gavin’s, but all I saw was blinding white light. I jerked my head back into the pillow and shut my eyes tightly to avoid the tiny dust particles that headed straight toward me, and the light that threatened to sear my corneas. The dust particles seemed like little energy pods, alive with intent. I was disappointed to find myself back in the hospital. I started to doubt I’d ever leave.

  When I opened my eyes, there were at least thirty angels lined up against the walls of my hospital room, wings tucked behind them, forming a heart shape. I looked, but didn’t see Gavin.

  There were tall ones, shorts ones, skinny and fat ones—something that took me by complete surprise. Angels were more human-like than I would have guessed. But what surprised me the most were the kids. The two in front seemed especially anxious. One held something behind his back, but I could hardly keep my eyes open, let alone figure out what he held.

  “Well, Miss Miller, looks like you are getting sprung early for good behavior.” Nurse Cipher almost sang the news when she entered the room.

  I should have been thrilled to hear it, though if she had been reading my mind she would have known I wasn’t. That hospital was the only place where things made any sense. I could talk to Mom or Gavin, and they would answer. I saw Dad there, and Remi. I felt like part of a real family, not a useless orphan living with the Larsons. “Oh. Great.”

  “Your family’s outside in the hallway. All you have to do is get dressed and you’ll be on your way,” she added with a hint of self-satisfaction. She turned and smiled at the other angels.

  So I didn’t dream them.

  “My family,” I echoed. I had no idea who she could possibly be referring to. Remi? Mom? The Larsons?

  As if reading my mind, she turned her attention back to me and smiled. “Yes, your family,” she added with a wink, then scribbled something on my chart. She turned on her heel and left the room, leaving the door as wide open as my mouth must have been.

  Remi blew through the doorway with his usual exuberance, but said nothing. Mr. and Mrs. Larson followed, stranger than normal expressions on their faces. Remi wore the same aloof expression he always wore, and a slight smile that made him even more handsome, if such a thing was possible. My heart was instantly full. Love, adoration, and something I was not prepared for: caution, filled me. No, cautious concern. He briefly acknowledged the presence of the angels. When he did, they collectively took a step back. The young one placed a hand on his side. I didn’t understand; the only thing there was a sword.

  “Where’s Jenny?” I tried to hide the nervousness in my voice.

  “Poor thing. She hasn’t been herself since that Venus of the Earth concert,” Mr. Larson stated with a worried expression.

  “She’s been exhausted, in bed with chills and fever. She won’t eat, and we have to force her to drink. I hope she doesn’t have mono,” added Mrs. Larson, a cloud of worry shadowing her normally cheerful façade.

  Remi looked at the floor as if he wanted it to swallow him.

  PART THREE

  Hello and Goodbye

  Meanwhile, Back at the Larsons’ …

  “I promise, I’m fine. Just really tired and want to lie down. Please don’t make a fuss. Really.” I tried to convince Mrs. and Mr. Larson as they eyed me with what I could only guess was suspicion. Kissing both their cheeks, then offering the sweetest smile possible, I took the stairs two at a time before remembering I was supposed to be worn out.

  When I reached the top, I stopped. I heard shuffling from my room, talking, and felt the presence of something, or someone. I was certain they could hear my heart pounding as I inched along the wall as quietly as I could. It didn’t help that Remi was holed up at Jenny’s bedside, and I would have to knock on her door and draw attention to myself in order to ask for his help. Then again, it wasn’t likely that Remi was going to help me or even listen to a telepathic plea. Especially not after what happened with Gavin in the clearing.

  I stood in the hallway, trying to distinguish the sounds comi
ng from my room. My heart thumped loudly as something hit the door with a thud. I held my breath so it wouldn’t hear me and quietly reached into my messenger bag for the greasy eyeballs. I figured I could throw them at whatever was in my room. Something banged against the door, only louder this time, and I unintentionally let out a shriek. I covered my mouth with a shaky hand.

  I couldn’t stand in the hallway paralyzed with fear. I inched forward and waited until it sounded like whatever was in my room had moved away from the door. Then I saw shadows underneath, moving back and forth. By now I had a sword and bag of eyeballs at the ready. Only, I was too scared to do anything with them. I inched closer, dropped my bag on the floor, reached for the door handle, twisted it, and flung the door open.

  The albino angel from the other night was on the floor wrestling with another one who looked even younger. They saw me and stopped, mid camel clutch hold, which I knew because my dad used to watch wresting all the time in his shop. And when Dad wasn’t around, Vinny Dumbrascatori, the youngest and by far the cutest mechanic Dad employed, and I used to watch it. Unfortunately, Dad found out Vinny and I had been watching wrestling together and fired Vinny shortly thereafter.

  The little blond angel eyed my bag of oily eyeballs and frowned. The albino one, with the cornrows, increased his hold on the little one and smiled. “Hi. I’m Arcturus, he’s Caius.” He pointed to the one underneath him.

  “Um, OK. What are you doing in my room? I mean, not that I’m not happy to see friendly faces.” I tried to steady my breathing, dropped my knife, and went to retrieve my bag from the hall. But Caius had managed to get out of the wrestling hold, get my bag, and make it back inside the room before I got my wits about me.

  He handed me a silver briefcase with a red handle. “Thanks, I think,” I said.

  I plopped the curious briefcase on the bed and opened it. The two boys peered over my shoulders at the briefcase’s contents and Praefatio.

  “We kind of got bored waiting for you to arrive. So we put this bag of stuff together for you,” Caius said. “Gabriel sent us, to protect you, but said he’d feel safer if he knew you had some gear of your own.”

  “Yeah, but you seemed to have everything under control.” Arcturus’s sarcasm was not lost on me. “Were you gonna throw that bag of eyeballs at us?”

  “What? Whatever. No.” I tried to sound like it was the furthest thought from my mind.

  “You won’t need them. Besides, I’m sure their owner will want them back. You’re supposed to burn them. The longer you keep them, the easier it will be for him to track you and come after you.” Caius spoke with the authority and knowledge of a much older person. He took the pillowcase and threw it to Arcturus.

  “No! I want … to keep them. I might … need them. They listen to me,” I mumbled.

  “You can command demon vision?” Arcturus looked at Caius, then back to me. “Wicked!” Arcturus smiled. “That means you’ll be able to use the eyes to see evil coming.” He threw the bag in my direction. Surprisingly, I caught it. “Anyway, let me tell you what all that stuff is.” Arcturus removed items from the briefcase and flung them onto my bed. “You’ve got throwing stars, two machetes, a katana sword, two sets of throwing knives with leg sheaths—very handy—two Roman rudiarrii daggers, a Celtic dagger, my personal favorite, a trident, a halberd, a Kit Rae Black Legion Battle Axe, and a pair of sai.” Arcturus took a breath, then finished with, “Caius, where’s the rest of the stuff?” He looked at Caius with wrinkled eyebrows. I couldn’t imagine what could possibly be missing. “Uh, I don’t think I’ll need more than that.” I shrugged as he kept pulling weapons of various shapes and sizes out of the small, seemingly bottomless briefcase.

  “No, it’s OK. Trust me. You’re going to need all this and more.” Caius tried to reassure me, then turned to Arcturus with a worried look. “Dude. I don’t know what we did with it.” He looked around in all directions, then spun toward me and said, “Hang on a second, Grace.” Caius disappeared.

  Arcturus smiled weakly. Caius reappeared holding a black duffle bag and looking stressed.

  Arcturus looked suspiciously at Caius, then at the bag. “Is that everything?”

  “You can always get more, less, whatever.” Caius handed me the bag and added, “It was Arcturus’s idea. He thinks you should dress the part.”

  I placed the bag on the bed then unzipped it. Inside were two silver cuff bracelets with Latin inscriptions on them. I held them up; the left one read “Angelus” and the right one read “Coadunatio.” Caius took the cuffs and put them in the opposite hands. Left: Coadunatio. Right: Angelus. A joining of angels. There was a pair of leather gloves and another pair of near-identical ones missing fingers; a pair of greaves, for my calves; a full metal battle dress like ones worn by ancient Greeks; and a chlamys. It was like fifth grade all over again. I just couldn’t see myself wearing any of it.

  “No shoes in there?” Arcturus rushed the bag and searched frantically. “Ah-ha!” He turned and presented me with a pair of shoes that I was no way ever going to wear. Ever.

  “Uh, thanks. But who are you guys again?”

  Arcturus laughed. “Cherubim. Your cherubim. I’m here to train you in celestial matters and combat. Caius here will keep you in great physical shape and make sure you have everything you need to survive.”

  “Cherubs. I thought you were supposed to have four faces. A lion, a man. Ugh. I can’t remember the other two. Anyway, I guess that’s not true either, huh?”

  “We can look like whatever we want when we interact with humans. If you prefer we appear in our natural state, we will. Just say the word. Otherwise, I’ll stick to my cornrows.” Arcturus’s face blurred for seconds, and beneath it I saw him, as he really was. Lion, ox, man, and eagle. He smiled. “We do our best to show humans the face we think will be best received.”

  “And you thought I’d best receive cornrows?” I kind of mumbled to myself.

  “Speaking of humans, you need to keep your strength up.” Caius put a hand behind his back and then put it out in front me. In his hand were jumbo red strawberries, a brown liquid, and a loaf of bread.

  What an odd gift, I thought and said, “Thanks.” I even tried to smile.

  “Strawberries have anthocyanins. Anthocyanins are like antioxidants. Oxygen can damage your body’s organ systems, so you’ll need anthocyanins to protect your cell structures. This will come in handy since yours is still a human body despite its celestial capabilities. You need extra protection now, Grace, as your body will be expected to perform outside of its comfort zone.” He seemed to be searching for the right words to convince me I needed his yummy strawberries.

  The more he talked them up, the hungrier I got. “Uh-huh.”

  “You’ll be eating a lot of berries in the coming months. We’ll want to prevent the emergence of free radicals—which you are now more prone to due to the planned changes in your cellular structure,” he concluded in his perfect English schoolboy accent. “Oh, and that stuff? It’s manna and honey.”

  Holy cow.

  The last thing I needed was to be mutated into a total freak. I’d learned about free radicals in school and how they are created when the body metabolizes oxygen and some of the cells get damaged. Mr. Sleezack had said, “Free radicals become problematic when they seek out other molecules to pair with, robbing those molecules for what they lack—like the Robin Hoods of molecules. It’s like an evil molecule rampage.” Just like that, I would have eaten anything he gave me, including poisonous apples. I grabbed the food and ate.

  My thoughts turned from poison apples to Gavin kissing me awake and asking me to live with him at Kheiron. I considered calling him, only to realize I didn’t have his number. According to Gavin, it was not safe for me to be alone. Now that I had Caius and Arcturus, I wasn’t. So maybe things were going to be OK. Maybe Mom and Gavin and Dead Dad were wrong.

  Neither Arcturus nor Caius had said much of anything since I’d tried to kill them with my bag of eyeballs and s
hort sword. They kind of gave me my “stuff” and seemed content to stay out of my way. They were huddled over, reading something that was partially obscured by Caius’s body.

  “Form,” Caius said. “We do not have bodies. Humans have bodies; we have forms. What form we take depends on our Order, post, and talent. As light beings we can inhabit another being or take on its form. No other being can inhabit or take on the form of an angel.” He smiled and returned to his reading.

  “I can inhabit stuff? And take on the form of anything I want?” I thought flying was going to be the best of what I was capable of.

  “We can only inhabit forms that have a life source or that are alive. Sometimes, we are tasked with guarding populations, but can only do so while inhabiting inanimate objects. When that’s the case, we are given a Divine Dispensation. Ever hear humans say they feel statues looking at them or the Mona Lisa’s eyes following them?” He gave me a look as if to say, “Are you ready for this?”

  I inhaled deeply and held it.

  “It’s one of us,” Caius declared with a giant smile.

  I exhaled. It was worth waiting for. Mona Lisa. No kidding.

  I couldn’t help but return his smile. I sprang from my bed with much more force than I intended, sending me flying forward before I crash-landed into the desk chair, knocking it over and into Arcturus. He stopped the chair about an inch from his form and smiled at me as if he were watching a clown perform at the circus.

  “Happy to amuse you,” I offered, glancing at the chemistry textbook atop my desk. “Do you think I’ll be able to go back to school?”

  “Oh, you’ll be going to school. But not the sorry one you used to attend. You’ll learn astrology, etiquette, religious studies, politics, sports, marketing, world studies, aviation, art, geology, chemistry, medicine, architecture, biology, meteorology, finance, agriculture, government—”