Praefatio: A Novel

by Georgia McBride

  “No. And I still don’t understand. How can that be?”

  “Would you be offended if I offered you a scenario that may help you comprehend?” He smiled a perfectly warm smile.

  “No,” I lied.

  “What if what you have read in Praefatio, and Gavin, what he has read in his, is true now, but is not meant to be the end, the future, forever? What if what is in your Praefatio is different than, say, what is in Emeria’s Praefatio? What if Emeria is supposed to be with Gavin according to her Praefatio?” Michael stopped walking and turned to face me. I felt like a dwarf in front of him.

  “But how can that be? How can the future be so uncertain, so up for grabs?”

  “Have you ever heard the expression ‘The Powers That Be’?”

  I nodded.

  “The Powers are a group of angels, most of whom are responsible for the history, teachings, and ideology of all knowledge, celestial knowledge. But you already know this, being that you aced your exams and all.” He smiled proudly. “They are tasked with the authoring of Praefatio and can change it at any time in history; that is past, present, or future, for any angel as directed. The Authorities write what the Powers tell them. They are the scribes. I guess you could call them ghostwriters.”

  I suppose he thought that last bit about the ghostwriters was funny. And under normal circumstances I would have been howling. But if anyone could rewrite histories or futures, like, on a whim, it meant no one was safe. “I don’t like the sound of this.”

  “If Emeria had succeeded in winning Gavin’s heart while pretending to be you, you would not be here talking to me right now. Or, perhaps you would, but the conversation would be just slightly different. Either way, Praefatio would rewrite itself to ensure balance in the universe, and the prophecy would be about Emeria and not you. It would be as if you never existed in Gavin’s heart—or maybe you did, just not anymore.”

  “Or maybe I’d be the evil twin,” I joked, despite enduring thoughts of my mother. This all started with her. She was the reason I was there, not Emeria. Not the Powers, not Praefatio, but her. Why had she chosen me? Contrary to what everyone seemed to think, I wasn’t all that special. I knew then that finding Mom was the key to figuring out who and what I was.

  Michael held me steady as my legs buckled under me.

  “OK, now, listen to me,” Michael instructed. “You and Gavin have a unique opportunity to usher in a new age of peace. But I don’t want you to feel as if you have to be the poster child for harmonious celestial living. As for Rosa, you can forget about finding her. She obviously doesn’t want to be found. Believe me, we’ve tried. You’re an adult, and so is Emeria. You can either have a mommy complex, or you can move on and not let it distract you from what’s really going on.”

  “But, I … ”

  “And you should know that I do not agree with the capture and enslavement of Lesser Angels, nor the partnership with otherworldlies for the furtherance of this war. If this is going to work, we need rules. If I support your relationship with Gavin, it is not a universal acceptance of all things Fallen. Agreed?” Michael seemed determined to back me into a corner.

  “Agreed,” I replied halfheartedly. I didn’t appreciate being scolded for things I had nothing to do with.

  “This Lex character is out of control. I expect you to deal with him. He’s been left to run amok for years, and now angels of every order are being targeted and turned into slaves by this maniac. Make it priority, Grace. Get this guy under control before it’s too late.”

  “Okay. But I need to find Remi first. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?” What else could I say? “Oh, and Gavin. He was humiliated when he was barred by the Watchers tonight. He has to be able to go where I go if we’re gonna be together.” Michael had made his demands of me. I figured I had a right to make some of my own. Boy was I wrong.

  “He’s Fallen for a reason, Grace,” Michael insisted with a slight rise in volume and a huge shift in tone.

  “But he had another ten thousand feet, and he was with … me. I’m higher—”

  “You don’t need to remind me of your position, young lady. Don’t forget to whom you are speaking.” Michael turned to face me and extended the biggest and most intimidating set of wings. Beautiful, pristine, white, layered, and gloriously radiant wings flapped loudly in my direction. It was like standing next to a sonic boom. “You want things tied up in a nice little bow, Grace? Get your boyfriend to stop prancing around the world fronting his little rock and roll band so I won’t notice what he and his family are really up to.”

  What’s that supposed to mean?

  “Start acting like a High Angel, not a lovesick teenager, and do what you are tasked with. Fulfill your purpose, Grace.”

  “My purpose?” I had no idea what he was talking about at first.

  At that point, I realized something incredible. Michael had more faith in me than anyone I’d ever met—even my—even Gabriel. He actually believed that I could make a difference, change things. More than that, he expected me to. He wasn’t afraid to tell me the truth, or afraid I couldn’t handle things. To Michael, I wasn’t this fragile girl. I was … an angel.

  I grinned a little.

  “Grace, do you know that when you smile the sun shines brighter?” Pride jacketed the frustration in his voice.

  “Michael,” I tried to match his tone, but only mockingly. “Do you know that you should write Hallmark cards for a living?” His joy was infectious, glorious. I felt entirely at ease. “Where are we? Why all the clouds?”

  “Actually, Grace, there are no clouds up here. The clouds are for your human amusement. We call it glory.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Humans cannot understand or even fathom the heavens, Grace. Until you fully ascend—become a full angel—you will experience the heavens like a human, clouds and all.”

  Michael smiled and began painting a picture of all I’d seen. He used his index and middle fingers to outline a large rectangle in front of me, just like Titan had done for Celestial Courses. On the screen, my past and all the emotions that went along with it stared me in the face in living color. Remi’s arrival, hearing Gavin’s voice in my head for the first time, a strange light around Mom’s head (a real halo), levitating stuff, seeing visions, even my perfect pitch and ability to read music since age two—reading music before I’d learned to read words. Then he showed me visits to the Garden I’d made with Gavin in my dreams and the night Remi and I were attacked. It ended with split screen images of Remi and Jenny.

  “I didn’t realize I wasn’t done ascending.”

  “Grace, we need to talk about Remi now.”

  I’d felt so calm around Michael, here in the heavens, distracted by the glory, I’d nearly forgotten about Remi.

  “Remi hasn’t yet fully Fallen, and that makes matters much worse. While he is in transition, he is vulnerable as ever. Though he technically began to Fall the moment he decided to have relations with Jennifer Larson, his humanity is delaying the process. Having been born to angels in human form, he has a cloak of humanity about him that is holding on.” Michael was like a textbook when he talked.

  “So he was already Fallen this whole time? And Jenny?” My mind was absolutely blown, my heart completely broken.

  “Remi was, as he has always been, sitting safely between the two worlds, heaven and earth. For Remi, to Fall is to choose sides. To choose Jennifer Larson is to Fall, to side with the enemy. He was sent to earth in the hope that a different outcome would result, that being with you his whole life would result in his loyalty, his choice made. We didn’t anticipate a human complication.”

  “Jenny.”

  “When they attacked Jenny the night your ascension began, the Fallen never actually intended to harm either of them. They merely wanted Remi to know that they knew he had already technically Fallen and it was only a matter of time before he physically, mentally, and emotionally became one of them.”

  Once again, Rem
i, Gavin, and the Fallen were all in on something I knew nothing about. Gavin had made himself look like a hero by “saving” Jenny from his seemingly murderous family when she was never in any real harm. And Remi. He was the most duplicitous of all, judging me for loving Gavin and wanting to be with him, when he and Gavin were in fact the same.

  Instead of self-pity, surprisingly, I felt as fired up and empowered as someone who’d just gotten a few shots of B12.

  “Okay, so what do we know?”

  Michael created another viewing screen with his hands. This one was expansive.

  A streak of bright light with rapidly changing colors appeared behind me. I turned to see what it was. Images of an expansive desert-scape projected onto the night sky. There was a man and woman, walking; the man carried a backpack and the woman limped by his side. Remi and Jenny. Above them, a large, brown bird with a wingspan of about twenty-five feet lead the way. Behind them, three Australian Cattle dogs.

  “What do you see, Grace?”

  “Middle Angels, guides, neutral like Switzerland. As long as they’re around, Remi and Jenny should make it to their destination. But where are they headed?” I mumbled as my education kicked in.

  Michael smiled proudly, as if he had something to do with my intelligence. “Jennifer is injured and has become overwhelmed by the child growing inside her,” Michael said, still staring up at the moving image.

  “Sergeant Mullane mentioned a car accident?”

  “In the midst of his Fall, and too weak to fly with Jenny, Remi decided driving would be a better option. The two were attacked and the car went off the road.”

  I felt bad for smirking as I thought about poor Remi finally getting to drive Dad’s Maserati, then totaling it. “What happens now? How do I help them?”

  “The Fallen will conspire to get to Jenny first. They want that baby, which will be most vulnerable to influence in its first months of life. If the baby turns out to be Fallen, we can forget about Remi as an ally.”

  He should have stabbed me in the gut. The feeling was the same, the pain as great as if he had. “Why do I get the feeling there is more to this that you haven’t told me?”

  Michael looked from the screen to me and said, “In less than twenty-four hours, Jennifer will die.”

  I clutched my chest, unable to formulate a response. Remi was as good as dead.

  Michael and I felt the rumble of Gavin’s summons where we stood. I’d forgotten to tell Michael about Gavin wanting to talk to him.

  “Obnoxious, arrogant … I don’t know what you see in him, Grace!” Michael shouted through me. “He has the gall to summon you while you are with me?” Michael put his huge index finger through a nearby cloud, causing it to rise to about fifty feet tall, then rippled and multiplied it at least a thousand times.

  The skies opened, unleashing blinding bolts of lightning that crossed the sky one after another, followed by thunder so loud I thought the earth would fall into nothingness. The wind pushed tears up and across my face, so that I had tears on my forehead.

  With sweeping exaggeration, Michael closed and then separated his hands, parting the giant cloud so I could see clear down to the earth as if on a plane coming in for a landing. And yet, we hadn’t moved. There were people running from the black sky above them, screaming for God to save them. Evil, wicked, and demonic things flew above them, taunting and teasing. The things looked like serpents with wings and tails of fire. There were bleeding holes in the wings of the serpents that dripped down like rain on the people below.

  Michael would never intentionally harm humans; that much I knew. He was sending a message to Gavin and me. That he could command even demonic beings with the simple touch of his forefinger. Awe-inspiring.

  Gavin was struggling. I felt him as if we were somehow physically connected. Excruciating pain plagued him as he tried to reach me despite it. Gavin fought against the restrictive altitude, heading straight for us. I could tell by the look on Michael’s face that he both delighted in Gavin’s discomfort and admired his tenacity.

  “Oh no!” Arcturus led warriors in pursuit of Gavin, who was weak and failing in strength. Mind open and intentions clear, Arcturus was ready to fight, ready to kill if necessary. My thoughts turned briefly to something he’d told me.

  “If you’re ever in danger, Grace, if there is even a chance you may be in danger, I will come for you. I will kill for you. You know that, right?” Arcturus offered with what was meant to be a reassuring smile on the day I’d passed my exams. I wish I’d known he meant threats that included Gavin.

  The cherubs had seemed so young, innocent, even vulnerable at times. But seeing Arcturus, ready to kill for me, I wasn’t sure. Could he? Would he attempt to kill Gavin knowing how I felt about him? If the Watchers or the thin air did not kill him first, could Arcturus, who’d spent hours with Gavin playing Rock Band, Wii Golf, and chess, kill him without a second thought?

  One thing I did not question was Michael’s resolve. He would kill Gavin without asking my permission first or offering an apology afterward. Michael didn’t seem like the type to tolerate disrespect or Fallen who sought even a few minutes in the heavens.

  Why would Gavin risk his life to try to reach these altitudes when he’d been barred from ever entering the heavens again? What could be so important that he would do this?

  The heavens shook as Gavin neared. The rumble of hundreds of warriors heading toward him now was unmistakable, the light that shone from them nearly blinding.

  There was nothing I could do, paralyzed by my indecision. To aide a Fallen seeking the heavens is death.

  Gavin’s life was slipping away. Arcturus was closing in behind him, and the warriors closed in in front of him. Still, as weak as he was, he managed to outmaneuver them. A few seconds later, however, Gavin was simply unable to charge any faster. His mind became scattered, and images from his past, present, and future all mingled together as disorientation and confusion besieged him. I felt Gavin’s desperate attempts to keep his mind closed, but Michael, along with the other angels of light, were simply stronger.

  My heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces. First the loss of Remi, and now Gavin seemed ready to die for me, and Arcturus was ready to kill him. I couldn’t do it. I could not let either of them do what they were about to—for me. I couldn’t fight warriors, and I couldn’t stand by and watch Gavin commit suicide. As the redheaded warrior caught Gavin’s ankle and raised a sword to slice Gavin’s foot, I did the only thing I could think of. I summoned Michael, Gavin, Arcturus, and Cerin to Nod.

  ***

  About seventy-five hundred nautical miles east of the Garden, Nod has its own functioning society, culture, and government ruled by Middle Angels. Located in the region of Eden, its exact geographical placement is hidden from humans. For angels, regardless of your affiliation, Order, or allegiance, you are allowed refuge in Nod, so long as you follow the rules.

  Dense fog made it impossible to see in front of me, and I became unsure of my decision. “So glad to see you in one piece, Your Highness.” Cerin appeared through the fog, quickly adjusted her stance, looked suspiciously from side to side as if someone could have been listening, then lowered her head and volume. “I’m sorry. I was overcome with worry when you and His Highness dropped out of sight. There is grave danger. I’m afraid things may not end as you wish.”

  “It’s okay, Cerin. And please stop calling me Your Highness.”

  Arcturus, atop his horse, rode to my side. Dad followed, though I hadn’t summoned him. Arcturus smiled as he dismounted, then did something totally unexpected. He hugged me. The very human display caught me off guard, especially since he had tried to kill Gavin moments before.

  The fog began to clear. A flood of gratitude washed over me in direct contrast to the anger I thought I’d feel. Still dressed in battle armor, Arcturus looked older, more mature and quite handsome.

  “Thank you.”

  “You never have to thank me, Grace. I will always protect you
, even from yourself.” It was becoming very clear that the cherubs had little interest in human indulgences, video games aside. His ability to compartmentalize was astonishing.

  “I thought your job was to teach me fighting skills,” I teased, hoping he would voluntarily tell me where Gavin was and if he was all right.

  “I never said I would let you fight. I said I would teach you how,” Arcturus countered, serious and assured.

  “Would you have killed him, Arcturus?”

  “Yes,” he replied without hesitation.

  “Where is he now? Is he okay?” I tried steadying my voice to seem in control.

  “I don’t know. He may have been too weak to respond to your summons. He may be falling.” Arcturus turned his head slightly toward the sky.

  “Like, you mean literally?” I panicked as my voice became high in pitch.

  “Yes.” His voice was quieter.

  I motioned for Cerin, who was in front of me in seconds, bowing and taking notes on what I wanted her to do. By the time I returned to Kheiron, she would have all of my supplies and weapons ready, taking care not to bring attention to herself or my plan. She bowed, excused herself, and was off.

  I ran to Dad, who’d dismounted. “Neither Michael nor Gavin have shown up yet, which means there’s a very good chance that Gavin is dead, and if Gavin’s dead, there is a very good chance that Michael either killed him or is somehow responsible for his death. And, if that is the case, we’re as good as dead. All of us!”

  “Well, I think at least one of your problems has been solved.” Dad nodded toward something behind me.

  The massive iron gate screeched open as dust clouds swirled. Coyotes howled in the distance. Michael’s unmistakable figure walked through the thick fog and dust in our direction.

  Above Michael, something, as if shot from a cannon, landed on the ground with a thud, disturbing the dry earth beneath it. The ground shook with the sound of bones breaking, then resetting, as Gavin landed with his wings—now a sad-looking and mangled gray with numerous holes—mashed beneath him.