Haunting of Lily Frost

by Weetman, Nova

  Maybe not so secretly, because as the bell goes and Max lopes past with his other extra-tall buddies, he stares at me. ‘Lil? You finally had that lobotomy?’

  ‘What?’

  I jump up, grab my bag and almost elbow him out of the way to get to class. His friends laugh.

  As I walk across the schoolyard I make a decision. I can’t be in this town if I’m spooked out and jumping at every noise. It’s totally possible that I’m making up everything that’s happened so far. Really, it’s an old house and it creaks. Doors slam. The attic’s cold because there’s a draught. There was a girl called Matilda who lived there before me, and it’s just a coincidence that we have the same letters in our name. I can even explain away the fact that she went missing. People do all the time. I bet there’s a teenager reported missing every hour across Australia; some of them turn up and some of them don’t. Maybe she’s already come back. I didn’t actually check that bit. Maybe she’s with her mum, right now, and they’ve moved towns to get away from whatever happened.

  I hate to admit it, but Max is right. If I’m stuck here, I need to accept it. So I’m not going to dig into Tilly’s life anymore. I’m going to try to lie low and just fit in as much as I can. I don’t want to be the freaky outsider. If Max can hack it, I can too.

  Today’s going to be a good day; someone said that I’m pretty.

  Hiding out in the toilets, I text Ruby. ‘How’s maths?’

  She texts back in seconds. ‘Mr Parks still away. Think he’s missing u.’

  It makes me smile. How’s she managing to answer me when her class has already started?

  ‘That guy Danny said I was pretty.’

  ‘WHAT???’

  ‘True.’

  ‘Girlfriend?’

  ‘Yeah. Dunno.’

  I’m forgetting about Julia, the girlfriend, if that’s what she is. The second bell goes and I have to hurry or Mrs Jarvis will be frowning by the time I try to sneak in. I really wish I could talk to Ruby.

  ‘L8R.’

  ‘XX’

  I pocket my phone, making sure the mute button’s on. If Mrs Jarvis is anything like some of my old teachers, she’ll confiscate the phone if it rings in class. As I swing open the cubicle door, I almost collide with Julia. ‘Sorry!’

  ‘Oh it’s you. Lily Frost.’

  ‘That’s me.’

  Julia’s wearing a t-shirt Ruby would love. Maybe I could add stealing to my list of new habits in Gideon.

  ‘Julia, I’m sorry about yesterday – the hoodie. It was in my room. I thought it was my best friend’s.’

  ‘It was actually my best friend’s.’

  ‘Yeah, I know. So here, you can have it back.’ I reach into my backpack and try to pull the hoodie out, but of course everything else tumbles out with it. My apple. Lunchbox. Books. All this dirt and crap falls onto the toilet floor. I finally grab the hoodie and hold it out to her. She looks totally horrified.

  ‘I don’t want it.’

  ‘I just assumed –’

  ‘No thanks.’

  ‘Well, does Tilly want it back?’

  So many emotions flash across Julia’s face, I can’t work her out. She’s angry, sad or furious that I’ve dared to mention her friend. And I don’t really know why I did. Sometimes things just pour out of my mouth without me thinking about them.

  ‘What is wrong with you? Do you like upsetting people? She’s missing. Okay? Do you understand that?’

  ‘Still?’

  ‘Yes. Of course still.’

  ‘I just thought maybe she – came back – you know. Got found.’

  ‘Got found! Are you a complete moron?’

  ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  ‘Don’t mention her again, okay. Just because you’re living in her house doesn’t give you any right to talk about her.’

  ‘Have it your way.’ I shove the hoodie back into my bag as she watches me. I’m not quite sure why she’s still standing there, but it’s like having to change in front of someone you don’t know. It’s really freaky when people watch you closely.

  ‘Why did you come here?’

  ‘To Gideon? You’ll have to ask my parents that. Something about unemployment and a cheap house.’

  ‘So are you staying?’

  Her tone makes me laugh, and she glares at me, under her long blonde fringe.

  ‘You don’t need to sound so happy about it.’

  ‘I don’t care if you stay or not. It doesn’t make any difference to me.’

  This day is just going so well. I can’t believe I’m having an argument with the arch bitch in the toilets before school starts.

  ‘Well good,’ I mutter.

  ‘Good then.’ And with that, I squeeze past her, hoping my backpack bashes into her shoulder, relieved to walk away and find my class.

  *

  ‘Lily?’

  Daydreaming’s always a disaster. I look up, hoping to work out what I’m supposed to be listening to, but it’s beyond me. Mrs Jarvis is looking at me with an unreadable expression. I’m hoping it’s curiosity, but I suspect it’s closer to frustration.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘What do you think?’

  There’s no way out of this. I can’t wing it because I have no idea what she’s talking about and as soon as I open my mouth that will be obvious. So I try stalling. Sometimes that works. If Ruby’s close enough it does, because she whispers something to me and I can muddle through. But of course sitting off to the side of the class where everyone can look at me, but no one’s close enough to save me, means I’m on my own. And really, none of them would want to save me anyway. Julia’s actually smiling as I stutter my way through an answer.

  ‘Do you not understand the material?’

  I’d rather they thought I was daydreaming than stupid, but if I admit to not listening, Mrs Jarvis will make my life even more difficult.

  ‘No, sorry. Could you explain it for me please?’

  ‘I thought that’s what I’d been doing for the past hour.’

  ‘Oh. Has an hour gone already?’

  ‘Would anyone else like to help Lily out?’

  I hate moments like these. And I’m blaming Julia, because if I wasn’t still thinking about her I might have actually concentrated enough to provide Mrs Jarvis with a scintillating comment. Of course it’ll now be Julia who pops up her hand, waves her manicured nails and gives the perfect answer.

  ‘Maybe Lil hasn’t read the book.’

  That voice. Danny’s beaten Julia to an answer and given me the perfect out.

  ‘But it’s on the syllabus.’ This from Julia who loves watching me get dumped in a hole.

  ‘Maybe not in the city?’ Danny again. He’s being rather argumentative with his girlfriend. But that doesn’t make any sense at all. If Danny was with Tilly when she went missing, and Julia was her best friend, why are Julia and Danny together now? Surely you wouldn’t take up with your missing best friend’s boyfriend. That seems a bit rough. And why is he telling me I’m pretty if he’s got a girlfriend?

  ‘Lil, we’re discussing this book The Watcher and whether Rebecca is aware that her parents are lying to her.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Julia stares at me likes she’s waiting for me to put up a better fight. ‘Personally, Lil, I don’t believe anybody could be that gullible. What do you think?’ She’s staring at me, like it’s me she’s talking about.

  Mrs Jarvis clears her throat. ‘Have you read the book, Lil?’

  That book! I have read that book. I love it. I don’t agree with Julia, but I can’t get into that now, because my only defence is that I’ve got no idea what they’re talking about. We actually studied the book last term, and I wish I could brag about that and prove to them that not everybody in the city is behind. I wrote a c
lass paper on it and old Stinky Simon gave me an A. So I’m hoping now that they’ll still be discussing the book tomorrow, because I’ll wade in deep and impress them all with my literary knowledge.

  ‘No, Mrs Jarvis. I haven’t. But I’ll read it tonight.’

  ‘Tonight? You’ll read a whole book in one night?’ Julia snarls.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Well, then, if that’s the case we can wait to discuss it tomorrow,’ says Mrs Jarvis.

  But Julia doesn’t want the conversation to end, so she goes on a bit about what she thinks. Danny argues once, but basically it’s Julia and Mrs Jarvis having a conversation and everybody else just sits there listening. I can’t believe that hearing Julia put forward her annoying opinion has actually made me sit up and pay attention. For the first time today I’m not thinking about Tilly Rose; I’m actually engaged in Julia’s point of view, and looking forward to tomorrow, when I can shoot it down.

  If I didn’t know that Danny already had a girlfriend, I’d think he was overly friendly to me for a reason. Particularly as I leave school for the day, lugging my backpack over one shoulder (despite what Mum always says about dispersing the weight evenly) and already texting Ruby with the free hand. Danny’s suddenly there to open the gate. He kicks it open with his foot, which I could have managed myself, but there you go.

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘No probs. Who are you texting?’

  ‘My best friend.’

  ‘Bet you miss her.’ He falls in step with me as we walk and I keep waiting for Julia to appear and whisk him away.

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘It’s not that bad here.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Well, I’m friendly, aren’t I?’

  ‘I guess, but your girlfriend isn’t.’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Julia.’

  He stops walking long enough to laugh his head off, checks to see my reaction and then keeps laughing. Maybe I called it wrong.

  ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘She’s my twin.’

  ‘Oh. Oops!’

  ‘Yeah, lucky, huh? I get to live in Gideon and have Julia as a sister. The world’s a great place.’

  ‘I can’t believe you’re related.’

  ‘She’s not always a bitch – just sometimes. When she feels threatened.’

  ‘By me?’

  ‘She knows everybody in this town. She knows everything about everybody. She doesn’t like surprises.’ As he smiles, I want to reach out and touch his cheek.

  ‘I can’t believe you thought we were a couple.’

  ‘Well, you’re always together.’

  ‘Everyone’s always together in Gideon, Lil. It’s a bit hard not to be.’

  The idea of Danny and Julia not being together is starting to wriggle its way down into my brain, and I do feel a crazy, big fat urge to smile. It’s not so perfect that they’re related, but then Max is my brother and I can hack it, so I’m sure Danny can cope with Julia.

  ‘Danny – can I ask you something? What were you doing down at that river when I saw you?’

  ‘When I was with Julia? And you were spying on us?’ He grins.

  ‘I wasn’t spying.’

  ‘We were just mucking around.’

  ‘Tying ribbons on the bridge?’

  ‘Yeah, what’s wrong with that?’

  ‘But why?’

  ‘For fun. You said it yourself. Gideon’s boring.’

  I look up and realise we’re already outside my house. That’s how close everything is here. A ten-second conversation and I’m home from school.

  ‘You must miss Tilly.’ I don’t know what makes me say it. Why can’t I just leave things alone? I tell myself I’m trying to show I care, but that’s not really why. I want to see how he reacts.

  ‘Course I do. But she ran away, not me.’

  ‘Is that what you think happened? She ran away?’

  ‘That’s what we all think.’

  ‘Why would she do that?’

  ‘She was fighting with her mum. She wanted to go and find her dad. So she ran off.’

  ‘Have you heard from her?’

  ‘Nah.’

  ‘Has her mum?’

  ‘I don’t know. Her mum moved to the next town, so I never see her. That’s why you’re living in the house,’ he says.

  ‘It’s just—’

  Then he interrupts me. ‘Sorry, Lil. I’m late for football practice.’ He obviously doesn’t want to talk about Tilly, and I suppose it makes sense. He must be a bit hurt if she ran off without telling him where she was going. He nods at me, almost formally, like an old-fashioned man. ‘Well, this is you. See you tomorrow at school.’

  I try not to watch him walk off down the street, but I can’t help myself. He half walks, half skips, like he’s happy to be leaving me. Of course when I go inside, Mum pretends she didn’t realise I was home, but she was watching from the window. She saw me walk home with a boy she doesn’t know and now she’s totally itching to ask me about him. I give her five minutes.

  ‘How was school, Lil?’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘Friends?’

  ‘Heaps. I’m so popular, you just wouldn’t recognise me. I really can’t thank you enough for moving us to Gideon.’

  ‘No need for sarcasm.’

  ‘Mum, I hope you’re not suggesting that I don’t have lots of friends?’

  ‘Well, you apparently have one.’

  I can’t help but smile. It took only two minutes. She realises her slip and turns away from me.

  ‘You should try and get a job, Lil.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Just a couple of hours a week, like I did when I was your age.’

  ‘Okay, Mum.’

  ‘I’m not trying to tell you what to do.’

  ‘Aren’t you?’

  ‘Well, I think it’d be good for you. You can some earn money and you might make some friends,’ she says.

  ‘Sure. But I don’t think Gideon’s really the hub of teenage employment. I mean, you and Dad don’t seem to have jobs to go to; why do you think it’ll be easy for me?’

  ‘There’s no need—’

  ‘Okay. Whatever.’

  Mum and I used to have conversations without irritating each other. Bizarrely, we never used to fight. Now we seem to clash on everything. As I start to walk away and head upstairs, she stops me with a sentence that she knows will work. ‘I spoke to Kate today.’

  ‘Ruby’s mum?’

  ‘Yes. She rang to see if Ruby could come and stay over the weekend.’ Mum’s doing that thing she does when she doesn’t like the way I’ve just spoken to her. She introduces a subject she knows I’ll want to hear about, and then drags it out as punishment. I still haven’t found a good way to deal with it, or her.

  ‘And?’

  She smiles at me, making me wait. ‘And I said it might be a bit early. I wanted you to settle in before Ruby came.’

  ‘What? Why? That’s rubbish. I’m not going to settle in, Mum. I haven’t got any friends.’

  ‘So who was that boy?’ she says, a bit too quickly.

  I want to roll my eyes and groan and slam something because she’s being so pathetically transparent. But if I ever want Ruby to come, then I have to learn to play it differently. ‘His name’s Danny and he’s in my class. He’s perfectly nice, but his sister’s a bitch. Please let Ruby come.’

  There. She made me say it. Please.

  ‘I’ll talk to your father.’

  I don’t get what the big deal is. ‘Where is he anyway?’

  ‘Gone to a job interview,’ she says.

  ‘That’s great. Doing what?’

  ‘Um, not sure exactly.’

  Is that parent code for a job that’s beneath h
im? Of course she knows. She knows everything that goes on in this house.

  ‘By the way, Lil, your dad and I are out on Thursday night, so you’ll have to make sure Max does his homework and goes to bed.’

  ‘Does that mean Ruby can come on Friday?’

  ‘You can’t blackmail me. I said I’ll talk to your father.’

  *

  I’ve sent four text messages to Ruby and she hasn’t answered one. Either her phone’s broken or she’s found someone else to hang with. Now that I’m letting the whole ghost thing go, I’m feeling a bit bored here. I’ve got homework to do, but it’s maths, so I’ll leave it till the morning and probably get most of it wrong.

  ‘Where r u?’ Text number five. How many more can I send before it seems tragic?

  I can’t believe I thought there was a ghost here. It’s actually a bit funny. The attic is so not scary. It’s just my queen size bed, my books that are still lying all over the floor, because I can’t be bothered stacking them up again, and my clothes that are pushing their way out of the suitcases. I can see the carved letters from my bed and even they don’t look frightening anymore. Why was I so sure that Tilly was a ghost? I’m glad she ran away, because at least that means she’s alive and hopefully happy – although I can’t understand why anyone would run away from Danny.

  A girl from my old school ran away a few years ago. She was in Year 11 or something, so I didn’t really know her, but it was all over school. There were so many rumours about why she did it: her father beating her, or her stepmother being a cow, or her boyfriend dumping her. I don’t think anyone really knew why. Maybe she’d just had a bad day. The police came to school and questioned a whole bunch of people, but then she was back about a week later. She only came to our school for a few days and apparently left and went somewhere else. It must have been pretty intense coming back to a whole school of people talking about you and trying to guess where you’d been.

  Out of the corner of my eye, something darts across the room. I don’t even bother turning, or feel the least bit scared. It’s probably Jasper come to say hello. When he jumps up purring onto my bed and rubs his back under my chin, I smile. It is just Jasper. I’ve saved my heart from thumping, my skin from prickling and my head from racing. There are no ghosts in this house.