Haunting of Lily Frost

by Weetman, Nova

  My phone beeps and I grab it so quickly that poor Jasper darts off the bed and dashes away.

  ‘With Tom. L8R.’

  Whoa. Ruby’s with Tom. That’s why I haven’t heard from her. But how can she be with him? Where’s Becka? Maybe he’s finally dumped her and now Ruby’s got a chance. But I’m here, I don’t know everything that’s happened, and that sucks. I really want to call her and ask her about it, but I can’t, because there’s no way she’ll answer. Then I’ll get even more upset. I’m happy for her. Sort of. But usually if something like that happens, she finds an excuse to text me so I know exactly what’s going on, and today she’s only texting me because I’ve sent so many messages. Maybe she’s already moving on, because she wants a best friend who lives next door not one who lives 196 kays away. This is the sort of thing I was terrified would happen, and now it has and I’ve only been away six days. She was supposed to remember me for at least a year.

  *

  Waking up, it takes a while to work out that it’s morning and I realise I’m still in my clothes from yesterday, and my phone’s under my hip. That explains the uncomfortable feeling of being stabbed. There are five missed calls from Ruby and three text messages wondering why I don’t answer, so I must have fallen asleep straight after dinner and not heard my phone go.

  Jasper stretches out and rubs his tail along the length of my arm. He must have slept well, too. Maybe we’ve both stopped being preoccupied by the idea of a ghost and are now just getting on with it.

  Ruby answers straightaway. ‘Finally.’

  ‘Sorry. I fell asleep.’

  ‘He kissed me, Lil.’

  ‘WHAT???’

  ‘Crazy. But he did.’

  ‘What about Becka?’

  ‘They broke up last week.’

  ‘So, how did you two –’

  ‘We walked home together yesterday and just started talking. Mum was at work and he came in and ended up staying for dinner and then we kissed.’

  ‘Whoa.’

  ‘I know. It was amazing. I’ve wanted to kiss him for years and finally – and he’s a really good kisser. It was so easy to talk to him. It was almost like talking to you. You know when we crap on for hours –’

  I’ve been replaced. It’s been less than a week and she’s found someone else to talk to. It doesn’t matter that it’s a boy. In fact maybe it’s worse. I go quiet on the phone because I’m trying to find something nice to say, but everything I want to say will sound mean. Of course she notices I’ve gone quiet.

  ‘Lil? You there?’

  ‘Yeah. I’m here.’

  ‘Are you funny with me?’

  ‘No. It’s just that what if he gets back with Becka? How will you feel then?’

  ‘Thanks, Lil. Why would you say something like that?’

  ‘Sorry. I’m just trying to protect you.’

  ‘No you’re not.’

  ‘I am. That’s what he always does.’ I sound like I’m whining, but I’m really trying to justify being mean.

  ‘Well not this time.’

  ‘Okay. I hope you’re right.’

  ‘As if. You hope they get back together,’ she snaps. It makes me sad that Ruby thinks that’s how I feel, even though she’s right.

  ‘I do not,’ I say.

  ‘Don’t do that, Lil. You’re supposed to be happy for me.’

  ‘I am.’ But I know I’m lying. I’m not happy for her at all. I’m hurt. ‘Sorry, Rubes. I’ve gotta go.’

  ‘Why? Don’t go. I want to talk to you. Tell me about Danny.’

  ‘There’s nothing to tell. I’ll catch you later.’

  ‘Don’t go all weird on me.’

  ‘I’m not. Mum’s yelling out. I have to go.’

  I know it’s not okay to hang up on her, but I don’t want to hear about Tom. I’m not jealous exactly. Well, not of her kissing Tom. It’s more that things are happening without me. I’m not around anymore. This is going to happen all the time. She’ll tell me all about her life and I won’t even know the people she’s talking about. How can we be best friends when we live two hours apart? And if Tom becomes her boyfriend then she won’t need me anyway.

  My phone beeps. It’s Ruby sending me a text. ‘C u sat?’

  I don’t want her to come. Not now. She’ll only talk about Tom and school and things that I’m not part of. I hold the phone tight, waiting to work out what I should say. Then I toss it across the bed, almost hitting Jasper and causing him to arch his back and hiss at me.

  Ruby and I have been best friends for ten years and I can’t remember a real fight. Not one that lasted longer than five minutes. What if this is it?

  Someone’s stomping up the stairs to my room. I think it’s Dad. Sounds like his big heavy footsteps. I didn’t see him last night because I flaked out early and he must have come home after I was already in bed.

  ‘Lil, you up?’

  ‘Yeah. Yeah, I am.’

  He pushes open the door and smiles at me from the doorway. He looks younger than he did in the city. How does that happen?

  ‘You don’t look up to me. You look like you’re still in bed.’

  ‘I’m dressed already.’

  He frowns, maybe remembering I had these clothes on yesterday or maybe just surprised that I’m already dressed.

  ‘Well, you’re going to be late for school.’

  ‘Don’t care.’

  ‘Come on. Up!’

  ‘Did you get the job?’

  ‘Probably.’

  ‘Do you want it?’

  ‘Did Mum tell you what it was?’

  ‘No.’

  He laughs as he comes into my room. He doesn’t look around or judge the crazy mess I’m living in. He just walks up to the bed and plonks down on the edge. Jasper scowls at him and jumps off.

  ‘I guess I’m sort of responsible for us moving here. You know, ’cause I couldn’t find work, but I’m not unhappy we’re here. I think I’ve always liked the idea of living in the country. It’s slow. It’s quiet. We have this funny big old house. But of course it’s going to be pretty hard finding work here and we still have to eat, so part of me thinks I should just take what I can get,’ he says.

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘A bookkeeper at the pub.’

  ‘Right,’ I say, understanding now why Mum was all vague when I asked her about it.

  ‘Your mum isn’t impressed.’

  ‘Well, it’s not really financial management is it?’

  ‘But that’s why I think it’ll be good. I can’t do those sorts of jobs anymore. I just want to work a bit, go for a run, learn to cook and join the CFA.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah, really. Besides, they do a good chicken parma.’ He grins.

  ‘And that’s important.’

  ‘I think maybe it is.’

  Before Dad lost his job last year, he was always working. Often he’d leave before I was up in the morning. But even though he seemed stressed and busy, he’d never miss things that he knew were important to me or to Max. Not like Mum used to. The idea of him going off to work in a pub, though, is a bit weird. I can imagine how uncomfortable it makes Mum. She would rather him stay unemployed than head off to work in thongs and shorts. That makes me smile.

  ‘So what about you, Lil? Finding any peace in Gideon?’

  ‘Not really.’

  ‘It’ll come.’ As he stands up, the weight on the bed shifts like I’m on a raft. ‘And Ruby’s coming for the weekend,’ he says, thinking I’ll be happy about that.

  ‘No. Don’t think so. She’s busy now.’

  This makes him turn around. I’ve never been very good at lying to him.

  ‘That’s not what I heard.’

  ‘Something’s come up.’

  He’s loitering.
I should tell him the truth, but it sounds poxy if I admit that I’m feeling left out of my best friend’s new relationship. Besides, Dad always refers to Tom as that kid who chucked up chocolate crackles all over the kitchen floor at my sixth birthday party, and I can’t be bothered having that conversation again. As much as I’m hurt about Ruby doing things without me, she’s still my best friend, and I think I’d feel disloyal if I talked about this with anyone else.

  ‘You’re deliberately distracting me, Lil. I come up here to get you to go to school and we end up talking about all sorts of other things. If you don’t hurry, your mother will come up here and you’ll cop a list of jobs. Come on, skedaddle.’

  I know he’s right and as I scuff my way past him, I hear him sniff.

  ‘Over the years, I’ve found it’s a good idea not to sleep in your clothes. They can smell a bit – musty.’ He’s grinning as he says this. ‘Come on, off you go.’

  And now I’ll be paranoid all day that I stink.

  When I get to class, there’s another table and chair sitting quite close to mine. I’ve got no idea who’s moved it there, so I’m sitting, waiting to see who comes in and claims it. After all Dad’s carry-on about being late, I’ve got here way before anyone else, so now I’m officially early and look as much of a suck as my little brother.

  Luckily I’ve remembered the book I was supposed to pretend to be reading last night. As I flick through it, remembering all the best bits, everyone files in. I say everyone, but there are only ten or so kids. One by one I watch to see who’s going to head for the desk next to mine, but no one does. Maybe Julia moved it there to make me feel worse about having no friends.

  She comes in, laughing with a friend. She’s wearing the same t-shirt she had on yesterday, so maybe she’s slept in her clothes too. She looks over at me, but doesn’t give any hint of what she’s thinking. Then Danny rushes through the door, and walks straight over. As he plonks his bag down on the desk next to mine, I fidget. I know my cheeks are starting to burn and I drop my head, wishing I’d changed my clothes and really hoping that extra-long spray of deodorant has masked the slept-in smell.

  ‘Hey, Lil.’

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Thought you’d like someone to sit next to. Is that okay?’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Did you read it?’ He nods at the book on my desk.

  ‘Stayed up all night. That’s why I’m still in the same clothes.’

  ‘I’m always in the same clothes. That’s what happens in a small town. There’s nowhere to buy new ones.’

  It’s actually good having someone to sit next to, but I wish it wasn’t a boy, or this boy. There’s no way on earth I’m going to be able to concentrate on anything with him sitting so close. And Julia keeps shooting pissed-off looks in my direction. I can’t work out if they’re because of Danny, or just because she generally doesn’t want me around.

  ‘Thought I could show you around after school,’ Danny says.

  I’m so surprised, I can barely answer. ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah. Try and pretend there’s more to our town than you’ve already seen.’

  ‘I’m sure there is,’ I say politely, although I doubt there’s much more.

  ‘No. There’s not.’

  ‘Oh. So what do you do for fun?’

  Before Danny can answer me, Mrs Jarvis rocks in with a stack of books and an interesting hairstyle. Adjusting her glasses, she explains that we’re going to talk about the book and then she’d like us to write a persuasive text on whaling. She suddenly stops. ‘You’ve moved, Danny.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And you’re staying there for the rest of term.’ She manages to say this as a statement rather than a question.

  ‘Got it,’ he says.

  ‘Is that okay with you, Lily?’

  I’m thinking, making out that it isn’t. ‘Fine,’ I say.

  ‘Normally I don’t like students moving around, but if you plan to stay put, that’s okay.’

  What does she expect us to say? It’s all a bit strange. I half expect Julia to stick up her hand with a complaint, to tell anyone who’ll listen that her brother needs rescuing. If the other ten kids haven’t already noticed that Danny’s moved his desk next to mine, they certainly have now. There’s elbowing, there are smirks and a few giggles. I try to stare straight ahead, pretending that I’m suddenly fascinated by everything Mrs Jarvis has to say.

  As she starts to write on the Smartboard, Danny turns and winks at me. I shrug because there’s no way I can wink back at him. For a start anyone could see, and I’m also not good at winking, so it could end up a tragic sort of double-blink, which might look like I’m making fun of him.

  ‘Lily, did you get your book read for this morning’s class?’

  ‘Yes, Mrs Jarvis.’

  ‘The whole book?’

  ‘Yes, Mrs Jarvis.’

  She bends forward, looking at me over her glasses. It’s a stare-off, and she’s trying to make me confess. I can feel Danny watching me, to see what I’ll do, and finally she straightens up. ‘Well, they must teach you to read fast in the city.’

  I realise how ridiculous it sounds – that I’ve read the whole book. It’s huge. Twice the size of most books they make us read at school. I could never read it in one night, but it’s too late to admit I read it in the city, so I’m just going to keep lying. If I get good enough at it, I might fit in with the rest of this class.

  ‘She stayed up all night reading it.’ The sound of Danny’s voice causes Mrs Jarvis to spin around and consider us both, like we’re a pair of gang members.

  ‘And how do you know that, Danny?’

  This of course causes the others to laugh. Except for Julia, who looks as uncomfortable as I probably do.

  ‘She told me.’

  ‘Well I’m glad that’s the reason, and not something else.’

  I can’t look at him to see if he’s embarrassed too. I wish he’d be quiet. He’s just making everything worse.

  ‘Lily, I hope you’re not too tired to offer some illuminating insights into your reading.’

  ‘No. I feel very illuminated this morning.’

  ‘Perhaps you’d like to tell us your opinion of the book then.’

  ‘What – now?’

  ‘Yes. Now.’

  Give me my old teacher any day over Mrs Jarvis. At the time I thought she was a beast and we complained endlessly, but she was soft and squishy compared with this one.

  ‘Ah, well I think Rebecca knows everything that’s going on. She likes to pretend she doesn’t because she wants to fit in, but actually she knows exactly what’s happening.’

  ‘Rubbish,’ Julia snaps.

  ‘Okay, Julia, why do you say that?’ says Mrs Jarvis.

  ‘Rebecca’s naïve. She’s got no idea the town is hiding people underground. If she does know, why doesn’t she tell the soldiers when they come to her house?’

  ‘Because she lies for the sake of the town. She’s protecting them,’ I argue.

  ‘No. She wouldn’t do that. She doesn’t agree with harbouring Jewish families. She wouldn’t keep quiet about it.’ Julia’s obviously quite passionate about the book.

  But then, so am I. ‘Yes she would. This is the town she grew up in. She’d do anything to protect her friends, even if she didn’t agree with what they were doing. Think about it, Julia. In a small town like Gideon, if your friends were doing something you found questionable, you might challenge them directly, but you wouldn’t expose them. You’ve known these people all your life. You’d protect them, no matter what.’

  As I finish talking, I realise it could actually mean something. Maybe Julia and Danny are somehow involved in Tilly’s disappearance, or know more and are protecting her. Not that it should matter to me, now that I’ve made a decision to leave it all alone. Still, it’
s an interesting thought.

  ‘No. I wouldn’t,’ Julia says firmly.

  ‘I would.’ Danny looks down at his desk.

  ‘Lily, you’re taking the book discussion off track. Try and bring it back to Rebecca’s actions, instead of how Julia would act,’ says Mrs Jarvis.

  ‘I think they’re the same thing,’ I say.

  Julia looks up at me then. I expect her to be angry, to show me how much she hates being challenged, but instead she looks sad, and I wonder again what she’s hiding and whether she’ll ever let it come out.

  ‘I want you to write an essay around the moral question, “Would you lie to protect your friends?” I want to hear your opinion, but I also want you to reflect on what Rebecca’s choices are in the book. Understood?’

  If this was my old school there’d be groans or complaints from various students, but here, where the class is small and Mrs Jarvis is the teacher, everyone just takes down the topic and starts writing. Except for Julia. She’s still looking at me, and I wish I could read minds.

  The Taylors’ house is huge; not big and rambling like our Gideon house, but sharp and imposing. The drive winds its gravel way between two long lines of old elm trees. There are horses in the front paddocks and cattle in the back. It’s one of those properties you drive past when you’re travelling through a town and stare at from the window of your passing car, impressed by its size and order.

  Without really knowing how to escape, I find myself following Danny up the drive to the front door. He takes his shoes off. It’s one of those houses. I have to sit down to unlace mine. The laces of my old falling-apart black Converse tend to knot themselves over and over, so it’s never easy to just slip them off. Danny leans against the door and waits for me. I haven’t asked where Julia is, but I’m hoping she’s gone somewhere else.

  He must be frustrated by the length of time it’s taking me, because he bends down and says, ‘You can leave them on.’

  Although I’d rather not take off my shoes, for fear of a) releasing the stink that I know will be there, because I slept in them and haven’t changed my socks for over twenty-four hours, and b) a general concern about the state my socks are in, there’s no way I’m going into their house wearing shoes when clearly no one else is. So I persist, tugging crazily against the knots, and realising that if I had really sharp superhero fingernails I would probably just cut them off.