The Moon for Lavinia

by Betty Neels

  The nurse shrugged. 'Two-three days, perhaps longer, I do not know. There is a seminar... You wish more coffee?"

  'No, thanks.' Lavinia felt exactly like a pricked balloon, and it was entirely her own fault for being so stupidly impetuous. As though the professor had been in a hurry to know her answer; he had thought of it as a sensible arrangement between friends with no need to get excited about it. She shuddered with shame at her childish behaviour; quite likely he had been appalled at it. She went back to theatre with the other two girls, and presently, at Zuster Smid's command, scrubbed to take a minor case. It kept her well occupied until dinner time, and because there was a heavy afternoon list, she stayed behind with Neeltje to get the theatre ready. They had just finished when the professor walked in. He was freshly shaven now, his face wore the look of a man who had had a sound night's sleep, he wore a black and white dogtooth checked suit, cut to perfection, and he looked superbly elegant.

  He said something softly to Neeltje as he crossed the floor and she smiled widely as she went into the anaesthetic room-which left Lavinia alone behind her draped trolley, thankful that she was masked and gowned and capped so that almost nothing of her showed. He came to a halt a few yards from her so that there was no chance of him sullying the spotlessness around her.

  `That was just what I needed,' he declared, and when she looked bewildered: `This morning. I stayed up half the night wondering if I had been too precipitate-hurrying you along relentlessly, not giving you time to think. I was no nearer a conclusion when I was called in for that poor girl."

  'Oh,' said Lavinia, `and I've been worrying all the morning, thinking that you might have found me very silly.' And when he smiled and. shook his head: `I thought you were going to Brussels-one of the nurses told me.!'I'm on my way, I shall be gone two days.

  When I come back we'll tell Sibby and the rest of them. When are your days off?'

  She told him and he nodded. `Good. I'll take you to see my mother and father.'

  This was something she hadn't known about, and the look she gave him was so apprehensive that he burst out laughing. `Regretting your decision, Lavinia?T

  'No, of course not, it's just that I don't know anything about you...'

  'We'll have plenty of time to talk, my dear. I must go. Tot ziens!'

  She was left staring at the gently swinging door. He had been very businesslike; she doubted if many girls had their marriage plans laid before them with such cool efficiency. Come to think of it, he hadn't shown any gratifying signs of satisfaction concerning histheir future. But then why should he? It was, after all, a sensible arrangement between friends.

  She was going off duty on the evening before her days off when the hall porter on duty called to her as she crossed the hall. His English was as sparse as her Dutch, but she was able to make out that she was to be at the hospital entrance by nine o'clock the next morning. She thanked him with the impeccable accent Juffrouw de Waal insisted upon, and sped to her room. There was a lot to do; her hair would have to be washed, and since she had nothing else suitable, it would have to be the pink again and that would need pressing. She set about these tasks, daydreaming a little, wondering if Radmer would be glad to see her.

  The fine weather held, the morning sun was shining gloriously as she dressed, ate a hurried breakfast and went down to the hospital entrance. The professor was waiting, in slacks and a thin sweater this time. His greeting was cheerful enough although quite lacking in any sentiment.

  `Hullo,' he said. `We'll go back to the house, shall we-we have to talk, you and L'

  He got into the car beside her and turned to smile at her. `We can do that better sitting comfortably and undisturbed. Sibby will be home for lunch. I thought, if you agree, that we might tell her today; she should be the first to know-she and your sister.'

  He was a man for getting to the point without any small talk to lead up to it, she perceived. `Yes, of course I agree,' she told him with composure, `but I don't think I'd better tell Peta-she might get so excited that she would tell Aunt Gwyneth, and that wouldn't do at all.'

  `Well, we'll have to think about that. I should like you to meet my mother and father today, and as soon as I can get away I'll take you up to Friesland.'

  'Friesland? But that's in the north, isn't it? Have you family there?"

  'No-a house, left to me by my grandfather. I should like you to see it. I have a sister, by the way, married and living in Bergen-op-Zoom.'

  They had reached the house and went inside. The gentle gloom of the hall was cool after the bright sunshine outside; its beauty struck her afresh as they crossed it and entered the sitting-room. Here the doors were open on to the small garden and the room was alight with sunshine and they went to sit by one of the open windows as Mevrouw Pette followed them in with the coffee tray. It wasn't until she had gone and Lavinia had poured the coffee that the professor spoke, and very much to the point.

  `It takes a week or two to arrange a marriage in Holland,' he explained, `so I think we might get started with the formalities today, then we can marry at the first opportunity there is no point in waiting, is there?' He glanced briefly at her. `The sooner the better, then we can go over to England and fetch Peta together; that might make things easier for you both.'

  She tried to keep her voice as casual as his, just as though getting married was an everyday occurrence in her life. `That's awfully kind of you-I'm sure it would. Do-do I have to do anything about our wedding?'

  `Not today-you will need your passport later. Church, I take it?"

  'Yes, please.'

  `We shall have to be married by civil law first, otherwise we shan't be legally man and wife. Shall we keep it as quiet as possible?'

  It cost her an effort to agree to this cheerfully. Was he ashamed of her, or did he suppose they would be the subject of gossip? Perhaps she wasn't good enough for his friends-in that case why was he marrying her? There must surely be girls more suitable amongst his acquaintances.

  His voice jolted her gently back to her surroundings. `None of the reasons you are so feverishly examining are the right ones. When I married Helga we had an enormous wedding, hundreds of guests, a reception, wedding bells, presents by the score, but it was only a wedding, not a marriage. Do you understand? This time it will be just us two, marrying each other for sound and sensible reasons, and no phoney promises of love.' His voice was bitter.

  He must have been very unhappy for him to sound like that after all those years. She managed a tranquil: `I understand perfectly. That's what I should like too, and if you don't want to talk about your-your first wife, you don't have to. I daresay if we were marrying for all the usual reasons, I might feel differently about that, but as you say, this is a sensible arrangement between friends. I shall do my very best to help Sibby in every way, you can depend on that, and I'll learn to run your home as you wish it to be run. I'm not much good at parties, but I expect I'll learn. You're quite sure it's what you want? Peta will be an extra mouth to feed, you know, and I should very much like her to have another year at least of schooling-would you mind paying for that?'

  He looked amused. `Not in the least. I should tell you that I'm a wealthy man money doesn't have to come into it.' He gave her a thoughtful look. `And you, my dear you are content? Perhaps it is an odd state of affairs for a girl-to marry and yet not be a wife; I'm being selfish.'

  She answered him steadily. `No, not really, for I am getting a great deal out of it, too. I..I have no prospects; no one has ever asked me to marry him, and if I didn't marry you, I should be hard put to it to get Peta educated. I'm not much of a catch,' she added frankly. `I hope Sibendina will like the idea.'

  He said on a laugh: `She was the first one to suggest it, if you remember.' He got up, and the dogs, lying at his feet, got up too. `Shall we go to the Town Hall and get the preliminaries over?' he asked.

  She didn't understand all of what was said when they got there, but it really didn't matter. She stood watching the professor talkin
g to the rather pompous man who asked so many questions, and wished with all her heart that he could love her, even just a little, even though she felt sure that she had enough love for both of them. Of one thing she was sure already; he thought of her as a friend, to be trusted and talked to and confided in, that at least was something. And if he had decided to marry her for Sibby's sake, it was surely better that he should marry her, who loved him so much, rather than some other girl who didn't.

  He turned to speak to her and she smiled at him. He had said that she would never be tempted to reach for the moon, but wasn't that exactly what she had done?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  THEY GOT BACK to the house with just enough time to have a drink before lunch and the return of Sibendina from school, and Lavinia, although outwardly calm, was glad of the sherry to stop the quaking going on inside her. Her companion, she noticed, was sitting back in his chair looking the picture of ease while he drank his gin, just as though the prospect of getting married in a couple of weeks' time had no worries for him at all. She envied him his cool while she kept up a rather feverish chat about nothing in particular, until he interrupted her with a gentle: `Don't worry, Lavinia-Sibby will be delighted.'

  She did her best to believe him while she wished secretly that he might have felt a little more sympathy for her nerves. After all, not every girl found herself in the kind of situation she was in at the moment. And he could have shown some warmth in his feelings toward her... she corrected the thought hastily, for it had made him seem heartless and cold, and he was neither, only most dreadfully businesslike and matter-of-fact about the whole thing. But then she had herself to blame for that. Perhaps she appeared as businesslike to him as he did to her, even though she loved him, but of course he didn't know that, and never would. She moved restlessly and caught his eye and managed a smile as the door opened and Sibendina came in.

  There had been no need to be nervous after all; Sibby paused in the doorway, looking from one to the other of them, then swooped on her father while a flow of excited words poured from her lips. She had turned and engulfed Lavinia, still chattering madly, before the professor said on a shout of laughter: `And here is poor Lavinia worrying herself sick in case you don't approve!'

  His daughter gave Lavinia a quick kiss and a bearlike hug. `That is absurd-I am so pleased I do not know what I must say.'

  `But how did you know?' asked Lavinia.

  `But I see your face, of course-and Papa, sitting there looking just as he looks when his work has gone well and he does not need to worry any more.' She sat down on the sofa between their chairs. `When will you marry? Shall I be a bridesmaid? And Peta, of course-What shall we wear?'

  Her father answered her. `We shall marry just as soon as it can be arranged-it will be very quiet, liefje, I think Lavinia doesn't want bridesmaids.' He smiled at Lavinia, who smiled back. Of course she wanted bridesmaids and white silk and a veil and flowersall girls did, but since he had made it clear that he didn't, she would have to forget all that. She said now: `I really would like a small wedding, but it would be lovely if you and Peta could have pretty dresses.'

  Sibby became enrapt. `Blue,' she murmured, `long, you understand, with little sleeves and large floppy hats for us both. Peta and I will go shopping together.' She beamed at Lavinia. `It is very good to have a step-mother; Papa is a dear, but he is a man-now I shall be able to talk about all the things girl talk about.' She sighed blissfully. `We shall be most happy. When do we go to fetch Peta?'

  `That will have to wait until a day or so~ before the wedding,' interpolated the professor, `and Lavinia and I will go-you won't mind that, will you, Sibby? You can make sure that everything is ready for our return.'

  His daughter eyed him rebelliously and then giggled. `Of course, I am stupid-people who are to be married do not like to have companions, do they, so I will not mind at all. I will buy flowers and make the house beautiful and order splendid meals.' She was struck with a sudden idea. `I will also invite guests-a great many.'

  `Oh, no, you don't,' said her father firmly. `Your grandmother will do that; I daresay there will be a big party at her house.'

  `She does not know about you and Lavinia, Papa?"

  'Not yet. We're going to see her and Grandfather when we've had lunch.' He heaved himself out of his chair. `Shall we go and have it now?'

  He took an arm of each of them and they all went into the dining-room where they had a hilarious meal, largely due to Sibendina's high spirits.

  The drive to Noordwijk was short, a bare twenty-five miles, a distance which the Bentley swallowed in well-bred, silent speed. Lavinia was surprised to see that the town appeared to be little more than a row of rather grand hotels facing the sea, but presently they turned away a little and drove through the small town and took a tree-lined road leading away from its centre. Large villas lined it at intervals and she supposed that Radmer's parents lived in one of them, but he didn't stop, leaving them behind to cross the heath, slowing down to drive over a sandy lane which presently led through open gates into the well laid out grounds of a low solidly built house facing the sea. He stopped before its open front door and giving Lavinia no time to get nervous, whisked her out of the car and into the house, and still holding her arm, walked her across the wide hall and through a pair of doors at the back. The room they entered ran across the width of the house so that it had a great many windows overlooking a delightful

  arden. There were doors too, flung open on to a verandah, its striped awning casting a pleasant shade on to the chairs scattered along, its length. The professor wasted no time on the room, but strode rapidly across it and through to the verandah, to stop by the two people sitting there.

  Lavinia had no difficulty in recognizing them; the professor's father might be whitehaired and a little gaunt, but in his younger days he must have had his son's good looks even now he was quite something. And his mother, although she was sitting, was a big. tall woman, considerably younger than her husband, with quite ordinary features redeemed by a pair of sparkling blue eyes, as heavy-lidded as her son's. She looked up now and smiled with pleased surprise, and her 'Radmer!' was full of delight as she said something in Dutch in a soft, girlish voice. He bent to kiss her, still with a hand tucked firmly in Lavinia's arm, shook his father by the hand and spoke in English.

  `I want you to meet Lavinia-Lavinia Hawkins. She came from England to work at St Jorus a short while ago.' He paused and they greeted her kindly, speaking English as effortlessly as their own tongue, then embarked on small talk with a total lack of curiosity as to who she was and why she was there. Perhaps presently they would ask questions, but now they sat her down between them, plied her with iced lemonade and discussed the summer weather, the garden, and the delights of living close to the sea. Lavinia had pretty manners. She took her share of the conversation while she wondered why Radmer hadn't dropped at least a hint about their approaching marriage. Surely he wasn't going to keep his parents in the dark about it? She couldn't believe it of him, and her sigh of relief when he at last spoke was loud

  enough for him to hear and glance at her with a smile of understanding.

  There had been a pause in the conversation and old Mijnheer ter Bavinck had suggested that his son might like to accompany him to his study, so that they might discuss some interesting article or other. Radmer got to his feet, pulled Lavinia gently to hers too and turned to face his parents.

  `My dears,' he said quietly, `I think you will have guessed that Lavinia is someone special; we hope to be married within a very short time.'

  There was no doubt of their pleasure. There were congratulations and kisses and handshakes, and Mevrouw ter Bavinck picked up a handbell in order to summon a rather staid, middle-aged woman and give her some lowvoiced instructions, at the same time telling her the news. She turned to Lavinia as the woman went to wring Radmer's hand and then did the same for Lavinia. `This is Berthe,' she explained. `She has been with us since Radmer was a very small boy, so of


  course she must hear the news too. Joop, her husband, who also works for us, is going to bring up a bottle of champagne.'

  She beamed down at Lavinia and touched her lightly on the arm. `We will allow the men to go away and discuss their dull business; you and I will talk-for now that you are to he our daughter, I may ask you questions, may I not?"

  'Of course, Mevrouw ter Bavinck.' Lavinia warmed to the older woman's charm. `I hope I haven't been too much of a surprise. It-it happened rather suddenly, I'm still surprised myself.'

  They were sitting opposite each other now, and her hostess gave her a thoughtful look. `It has been my dearest wish that Radmer should marry again. Has he told you about Helgahis first wife?"

  'Not a great deal, and I told him that if he didn't want to talk to me about her, I wouldn't mind. Should I know?'

  Mevrouw ter Bavinck looked doubtful. `I think you should, but that is something which you will decide between you. But there is one thing, my dear, and you must forgive an old woman's impertinence in asking such a question, but it is important to me-after Helga. Do you love Radmer?'