The Moon for Lavinia

by Betty Neels

  Lavinia met the blue gaze squarely. `With all my heart.'

  Her companion sighed contentedly. `That is good-and you will need all that love, Lavinia; he has been a solitary man for more than ten years, he is not young, and he has lived for his work- Now he will live for you, of course, but perhaps he may not realize that just yet.'

  Her future mother-in-law was a wise woman who perhaps saw more than she was expected to see. Lavinia said gently: `He loves Sibendina.'

  `Very much, and she, thank God, is wholly his daughter.' The blue eyes twinkled. `You will be a very young mother for her, but just what she needs. And now tell me, my dear, have you family of your own?'

  Lavinia told her about Peta and her parents and Aunt Gwyneth; she found it easy to do this because her listener had the gift of listening as well as putting others at their ease; by the time the two men, followed by the champagne, returned, the two ladies were firm friends, and as Radmer sat himself down close to Lavinia, his mother remarked: `You are both right for each other, Radmer-I believe you will be very happy. Is the wedding to be a quiet one?'

  They drank their champagne and talked in a pleasant desultory way about the marriage, and presently they went into the sitting-room and had tea and small crisp biscuits, and this time Lavinia found herself sitting with Radmer's father, answering his questions, warmed by his kindness.

  They got up to go shortly after, with a promise to come again very soon, so that the details of the wedding might be finalized, and when they were once more in the Bentley, driving slowly this time, the professor asked:

  `Well, Lavinia, do you think you will like my parents?'

  She felt a little tired after the day's excitement, but content too. The answer she gave him must have satisfied him, for he said: `Good girl, they like you too-I knew they would.'

  Which, she supposed with faint bitterness, was, from him, a compliment.

  They went out to dine later, but not before he had taken her to a small room at the back of the hall she hadn't previously been into, and opened a drawer in a charming medallion cabinet set against one of its silk-hung walls. The box he took from it was small anti leather-covered and when he opened it she saw that it held a ring; a diamond cluster in a cup setting, the gold heavily engraved. He put the box down and came towards her with the ring in the palm of his hand and they looked at it together for a few moments. `It has been in my mother's family for years,' he said at length. `I should like you to have it. It hasn't been worn for a long time, for Helga refused to wear it, she considered it old-fashioned.'

  Lavinia held up a small, capable hand. It was a pity that Helga had to be dragged into it, but she supposed she was being given the ring for appearances' sake, and anyway, he would have no idea that she was already fiercely jealous of his first wife-indeed, if he found that out, he might cry off, appalled at the very idea of her feeling anything at all but a comfortable, uncomplicated friendship for him. She thanked him nicely, admired the ring, remarked upon its excellent fit, and when he bent and kissed her cheek, received the salute with what she hoped was a warm but not too warm manner. Apparently it was satisfactory, for Radmer took her arm as they went back into the hall, and remarked with some satisfaction that he had no doubt that they would be excellent friends. He even halted half-way to the staircase to say: `You see, if no emotions are involved, my dear, the success of our marriage is assured; we shall have no bouts of jealousy or imagined feelings of neglect, and no wish to interfere with each other's lives.' He smiled down at her and kissed her for a second time, still on her cheek. `You do understand that I am deeply engrossed in my work?' he wanted to know.

  She said that yes, she quite understood that, and wondered for the first time, deep in her heart, if she would be able to endure living with him in such a manner, but it was a little late to think of that now, and at least she would make him happier than a girl who didn't love him. The thought consoled her as she went upstairs to tidy herself for their evening out.

  Time telescoped itself after that evening; some days she didn't see Radmer at all, some days she spent an hour or so at his house or snatched a brief meal with him somewhere, and several times they drove to see his parents.

  She had found that, without bothering her with details, he had smoothed the way for her to leave the hospital. All the tiresome formalities had been taken care of, and when she received her salary he had told her to spend it on herself as he had arranged for her to have an allowance which would be paid into the bank on their wedding day. And he had been of the greatest help in writing to Peta, who, they had decided, wasn't to be told anything until they actually arrived at Aunt Gwyneth's house. Lavinia had composed a careful letter, full of optimism about the future, and had told Peta that if she didn't write again for a little while it was because she was going to be busy. She read it out to Radmer on one of their rare evenings together and looked at him anxiously when she had done so. `Does it sound all right?' she wanted to know. `And are you sure we're doing the right thing?'

  He had reassured her with a patience which soothed her edginess, and when Sibendina had joined them later, he had taken care to keep the conversation light and cheerful, so that she had gone back to hospital and slept like a contented child.

  She was still working, of course. Radmer had asked her if she wished to leave St Jorus and she had no doubt that if she had said yes, he would have arranged it for her without fuss or bother, just as he had arranged everything else, but she had chosen to stay on until a few days before they were to marry, going on duty each day, an object of excited attention from her new friends in the hospital.

  It was a few days before she was due to leave that Radmer had driven her up to Friesland. They had left very early in the morning, before breakfast, and done the eighty odd miles in under two hours, to eat that meal upon their arrival. Lavinia had been a little overawed at the sight of the large square house set in its small estate to the north of Leeuwwarden. The grounds around it were beautifully laid out with banks of flowers screened by a variety of shrubs and trees, and a freshly raked gravel drive leading from the great iron gateway at the roadside.

  The housekeeper had come to welcome them-Juffrouw Hengsma, a tall, homely woman who said little but smiled her pleasure at seeing them before serving the breakfast they didn't hurry over. Lavinia sat listening to Radmer's history of the house and then spent the remainder of the morning going over it with him, lingering over its treasures of silver and glass and porcelain, and admiring the splendid hangings at the windows and the well-polished furniture. But it was a very comfortable house too, for all its age and size. There were easy chairs and sofas and pretty table lamps scattered around the rooms, thick carpets on the floors, and even though each apartment had an enormous chandelier hanging from the centre of its high ceiling, there was an abundance of wall lighting so that even on the gloomiest day, the rooms would glow with soft light.

  `You like it?' asked Radmer, and smiled warmly at her when she declared that she had never seen anything as beautiful. `Except for your house in Amsterdam,' she added. `I love it.

  `So do I. We come up here quite often, though. Come and see the garden.'

  It was a happy day for her, at any rate, and she thought Radmer had been happy too; she had wanted to be reassured about that quite badly and it had been a good test, spending the whole day together like that, with nothing much to do and only each other to depend upon for company. Looking back, she was as sure as she could be that he had enjoyed being with her-they had found a great deal to talk about and they had discovered similar tastes and ideas. She had gone to bed that night full of hope.

  She left the hospital two days later, early in the morning, so that they could catch a Hovercraft at Calais and be at Cuckfield by the afternoon, and although it wasn't yet eight o'clock, she had a tremendous send-off when Radmer came to collect her with the Bentley. He had laughed and waved good-naturedly at the small crowd of nurses, then glanced sideways at her. `That's a new outfit,' he remarked. `I lik
e it.'

  The sun, already shining, seemed to shine a little brighter; it was a good beginning to a day of which Lavinia felt a little uncertain. 'I'm glad,' she said happily. `I went to Metz and Metz yesterday and bought some clothes...'

  `A wedding dress?' he asked lightly.

  `Well, yes.' It had been more expensive than she had expected, but the simplicity of the rich cream crepe had seemed just right, and she had bought a hat too, covered in cream silk roses. She only hoped that it wouldn't seem too bridal for his taste. She looked down at the blue and white coat dress she was wearing, satisfied for once that she was in the forefront of fashion. She had bought blue sandals too and a leather handbag, and now she had very little money left.

  It occurred to her at that moment that Radmer had said nothing at all about a honeymoon; perhaps the Dutch didn't have them, possibly he felt it would be a waste of time. Honeymoons were for people in love, although surely two friends could go on holiday together, and if anyone else wanted to call it a honeymoon, they were at liberty to do so.

  They were already out of Amsterdam and as though he had read her thoughts, he asked: `Would you mind very much if we go straight home after the wedding? I'm up to my ears in work and there's a lecture...'

  Her pride wouldn't allow him to finish, to seek more excuses. `Of course I don't mindI'll have Peta and Sibby and that lovely house to explore and I shall go shopping.'

  He nodded and they didn't talk about themselves or the wedding again. It was much later, when they were leaving Dover behind them, that she asked: `I expect you know where Cuckfield is? It's not far.'

  `I've driven through it, I believe.' He took the Bentley neatly past a great juggernaut and started down the hill towards Folkestone.

  `You know England?'

  He smiled. `I was at Cambridge.'

  `Oh, were you?' She added with faint bewilderment: `I don't know anything about you.'

  He laughed. `It will all come out in good time. Shall we stop for an early lunch? I'm going along the coast road, we could have a meal at the Mermaid in Rye.'

  It was during that meal that she asked: `Which church are we being married at? I did ask you, but if you remember you had to go somewhere or other in a hurry before you could tell me.'

  He looked rueful. `What you mean is, I forgot all about it. I'm sorry-I'm not proving very informative, am I? You wanted somewhere quiet, didn't you, so I've arranged it at the English church in the Begijnsteeg-I hope you'll like that.'

  Her face showed that she did. `An English service? How nice, now I can wear my ring on my left hand...'

  He laughed again, very softly. `If it makes you feel more securely married, why not? I thought we might go straight there after we've had the civil wedding. Mama is giving a small reception for us afterwards at Noordwijk and the two girls are going to stay there for a couple of days. We can be back home again in the early evening.' She could almost hear relief in his voice at the thought of getting it all over and done with as speedily as possible. It surprised her when he leaned across the table and took her hand in his. `Have you ever thought how appropriately you are named, my dear?'

  She shook her head, conscious of his hand, wishing very much to clasp it with her own.

  'Lavinia was the second wife of Aeneas.'

  'Oh-Greek mythology.' She furrowed her forehead in thought. `But my name isn't appropriate at all-I've just remembered, wasn't there someone called Thompson who quoted something about the lovely young Lavinia, and I'm not lovely; I remember my father telling me about it and laughing...'

  He said very gently: `Kind laughter, I'm sure, and there are a great many variations on that word, you know-amiable, sweet, angelic...'

  If he had loved her-been in love with her, he wouldn't have needed to say that; she winced at the pain his words had given her and smiled back at him. `I hope you don't suppose me to be angelic? I can be as cross as two sticks sometimes.'

  `I know. The first time you spoke to me you were just that. It intrigued me even before I turned round to look at you. I knew you would be different from other girls.'

  Her voice was unconsciously wistful. 'I'm just the same inside,' but she smiled widely as she spoke, just to let him see that she wasn't taking their conversation seriously.

  They drove on presently and the nearer they got to Cuckfield, the more nervous Lavinia became, twisting her lovely ring round and round her finger, opening and shutting her handbag for no reason at all, and Radmer, who had shown no sign of nerves, smiled a little to himself, ignoring her small fidgets until on the outskirts of the little town he slowed the car and stopped in a layby, and when she looked at him inquiringly, said mildly: `Look, Lavinia, I know how you feel, but will you stop worrying and leave it all to me?'

  She nodded wordlessly. He would, without doubt, sail through the awkward situation without any outward sign of ill-humour, whatever Aunt Gwyneth said to him. Indeed, he looked capable of moving a mountain if he had a mind to; he also looked very handsome and impeccably turned out. He was wearing the dog-tooth check again with a silk shirt and a tie of sombre magnificence. She had no doubt that he would get his own way without difficulty, whatever obstacle was put in his path.

  And she was right. Aunt Gwyneth was at home, having just finished lunch, and was taken completely by surprise. They listened to her blustering efforts to prevent Peta going with them until Radmer settled the matter with a suave confidence which left her shaken.

  `There can be no objection,' he pointed out firmly. `You are not Peta's guardian, and now that Lavinia and I are to be married and can offer her a good home, I can see no reason for your objection. You have yourself just said that she has cost you a great deal and forced you to make sacrifices. I imagine that you have no plans for Peta's future?'

  Aunt Gwyneth eyed him angrily. Her plans, such as they were, would have been torn to shreds by this quiet, dreadfully self-possessed man. She made an exasperated sound and turned her spite on Lavinia, sitting as quiet as a mouse, feeling sick. `Well, it didn't take you long to find yourself a husband, did it?' she demanded. `And now I suppose all my kindness and money will have been wasted on the pair of you.'

  `I can't remember you spending any money on me, Aunt,' Lavinia said with spirit, `and Peta's school fees can't have been all that much-Father said you had more money thann you knew what to do with.' She added bitterly: `And I can't remember you being kind.'

  `Then we can take the matter as settled,' the professor interrupted quietly. `You will be glad to be rid of your burden, Mrs Turner, and if you have incurred expense beyond your means, I shall be glad to reimburse you.'

  Aunt Gwyneth sniffed angrily. `Indeed I shall...' she began, and got no further as the door opened and Peta came into the room.

  `There's a gorgeous Bentley outside-Lavinia!' She flung herself into her sister's arms. 'Lavinia, you said you'd come and I knew you would-oh, dear, I'm going to howl. You will take me with you... ?'

  Lavinia gave her sister a hug and turned her round. `Yes, darling-we have just been talking to Aunt Gwyneth-and this is Radmer, we're going to be married in two days' time and you're coming to live with us.'

  Peta crossed the room and gazed into his imperturbable face. `Of course, the Bentley. However did Lavinia find you? You're super!'

  He took her hand and said gravely: `Hullo, Peta, and thank you. Lavinia didn't find me, I found her.'

  She was still staring at him. `What shall I call you?"

  'Won't Radmer do? I've a daughter, you know, she's fourteen, and she calls your sister Lavinia, so that makes it right, doesn't it?'

  She nodded and smiled then. `I like you,' she told him shyly. `Can we go now?'

  He looked over her head and smiled faintly, but it was to Mrs Turner, sitting ignored, to whom he spoke. `Perhaps if Lavinia might hack Peta's things? We don't wish to take up too much of your time.' He spoke with the utmost politeness, quite sure that he would have his way. Apparently Aunt Gwyneth thought so too, for she said angrily: 'Lavinia can do what
she likes; she's always an ungrateful, sullen girl. I'm surprised you're going to marry her-she's plain enough, and I can't think what you can see in her.'

  The politeness was still there, tinged with arrogance now. `Probably not, Mrs Turner, but I must remind you that you are speaking of my future wife.' He looked at Lavinia and smiled, warmly this time. `Perhaps if Peta goes with you?' he suggested. `She need only bring the things she treasures-we'll buy anything she needs.'

  It took ten minutes. Peta had few possessions and a small wardrobe, the two girls packed a case, talking in excited snatches, and went back to the drawing-room where they found their aunt angrily firing questions al Radmer, who was answering them with a patience and ease of manner which Lavinia couldn't help but admire. He got up as they entered the room, took the case from her, stood silently while they wished their aunt good-bye and then offered his own farewells, but all Aunt Gwyneth said was: `Don't come running back to me, either of you-you would have had a secure home here, Lavinia, as my companion, but if you're fool enough to marry a foreigner...'

  Lavinia rounded on her. `Aunt Gwyneth, don't you dare speak of Radmer in that fashion! He's a good, kind man and we shall be very happy.'