Behind the Gate

by Renee Adams

  “Olivia, look at me. I said look at me dammit!”

  Finally, her eyes reach mine. Bloodshot and swollen, but still beautiful. I haven’t quite figured out how I am going to play this out. I mean Xavier is a seriously sick fuck for thinking that I am going to get a woman primed for him, let alone my woman. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is mine. Since the moment transport brought us all in, seeing her in that clinic, she took up residence in my head and hasn’t stopped since.

  Once I finally have her eyes on mine, I wink at her to try to calm her and let her know that I got this. Even though I don’t. I feel like the room has gone up ten degrees, it’s fucking sweltering in here. Looking around, there are at least five guys that I can see present in the room in addition to Xavier. Not good odds when a weapon is nowhere in sight. Wiping my brow, Xavier paces behind me. Guess I am not moving fast enough for his liking. Too fucking bad, the piece of shit can wait on me.

  “Olivia, baby, it will all be alright. I promised you before,” I coo in the most soothing voice I have. Used to be one that got the ladies to drop their panties for me.

  “Fuck off, Damian, you lied to me. Now you are doing his dirty work! I can’t believe I ever thought we might have stood a chance. I can’t believe that I trusted that you would take care of me, keep me safe, and keep my son safe! You are no better than him.”

  Ouch, she truly believes that I would betray her like that. I would think she would realize that I am trying to stall and buy us some time. Xavier laughs uncontrollably, and I want nothing more than to rip the smugness off of his face.

  “You actually thought that he was going to save you? You actually thought that you stood a chance, or that he wasn’t working for me? You are dumber than I thought, bitch! He has been working for me for a little while now! He’s dirty, that’s how he landed in this shithole in the first place. Once a dirty cop, always a dirty cop! He played you, just like I thought he would. First chance to give you up and he took it.”

  If she wasn’t defeated before, she certainly is now. It is like watching a train wreck, you can see how the words are registering in her mind, and you can see the light go out. She is done, she has surrendered, and now I am fucked.

  So there is my confirmation. He has been in on it, even though I was hoping he wasn’t. He got me to believe him and I fell hook, line, and sinker all the way to this black abyss that has consumed me. Honestly, the fight or flight has left me and all that remains is despair. My Jack, my beautiful baby boy. That is the little beacon of hope that I have. His face in my mind’s eye is the only thing that is bringing me some solace that everything will end up well.

  Sitting up now, I try to take in my surroundings. A few guys hanging around with the same prurient expression as Xavier. All look like dogs that are about to have a final meal. It’s a sickening feeling that sinks to the pit of your stomach knowing that the end is coming soon, and the end will be painful. I can only send an unspoken prayer to up above that this isn’t as painful as I feel it will be.

  Xavier advances towards me, walking with the grace and litheness of a cat. He tries to soften his features, making the lust and need not as apparent. Maybe in some ways he is trying to comfort me or ease my panic. I doubt that. Chances are he thrives on the shivers of fear that someone has towards him. He kneels down and sweeps some stray hair from my face.

  Grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at him, he puts on his best soothing voice. “Shhh, Olivia, there is nothing you can do. You’re stuck. Done and over with. I will enjoy ripping you limb from limb, I can’t wait to hear you beg me to end you. When you hit me that first time, you signed and sealed your death. No cunt puts her hands on me without paying the price. Now, let us get started because I am not a patient man, and I have given you long enough. Now take off your goddamn clothes.”

  Reaching down to the bottom of my scrub shirt I feel the pre-loaded needles that I forgot I had. It offers a small modicum of comfort that I need. Pulling the shirt over my head, I am careful to hold the scrub pockets to keep the shots inside so don’t tumble to the floor. I immediately cover myself even though I am wearing a bra.

  “Take the rest of the shit off,” Xavier snarls at me and spits in my direction.

  Damian stands by Xavier, and I can see the muscles in his jaw ticking and a vein popping out of his neck. He is an odd shade of red, but his eyes never leave me. I stand my ground and don’t move a muscle, I just continue to look at Damian and try to cover myself up.

  The smack to my cheek comes out of nowhere from one of Xavier’s lackey’s, and I am instantly on the ground. The heat from the hit has my face feeling like it is on fire with pain blossoming around my eye. Before I can truly get my bearings, I feel hands all over me, pushing and pulling at the scraps of fabric that were covering me. Crying out I try to fight back, but I’m met with another smack to the face. This time, blood fills my mouth and the copper taste makes me want to heave again. As I turn my head to the side to spit the blood out, someone heavy straddles me, forcing my hands above my head.

  Screaming, I start thrashing about trying to buck this guy off of me. My fight makes me feel super human as my adrenaline as my adrenaline soars through my veins. I will not go down without a fight now. I buck my hips up one good time and the guy goes flying. A stroke of good luck gets me because when I bucked him off he was still holding onto my arms so he didn’t prepare to hit face first on the floor. He falls forward with a sickening crunch. No clue whether he is breathing, and personally I don’t care right now, but either way he is knocked out cold.

  Xavier shouts at two other men to get men, three if you include Damian. The two scramble to grab me and strip off my clothes. When you have hands grabbing, twisting, and pulling it is a sickening feeling. Hopelessness and despair fill you, you feel more alone than ever. As I lie there, now down to my bra and panties, I close my eyes and wave the proverbial white flag and surrender. There is nothing more that I can do to fight for myself and my family.

  Closing my eyes in the hopes of not having to look any of these savages in the face, I feel a pain radiate down my side, but strangely the weight that was pinning me to the floor is gone. Instead, I hear grunting and the sound of flesh hitting flesh. Opening my eyes, it takes a second to focus which probably means I have a concussion from the hits to the face I have taken. Damian is fighting the two men as Xavier stalks toward me. Without reservation, I instantly get to my feet. I have hit him before and I will hit him again.

  I rush towards my discarded scrub top and find the needles full of morphine. The blood is rushing to my ears, and I feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I palm the injection just as he tackles me against the floor. The needle tumbles out of my hand with a clatter to the floor. Xavier shoves his pants down then straddles me, struggling to get my panties down. He rips them away in one loud rip. He palms his dick, which is thin with a small, angry head. Scrambling to think of what to do next, I finally get a plan together in my head. It’s quick and hopefully it will work.

  These assholes are relentless. I duck and dive trying to get these guys out of my way. Blood mixed with sweat is pouring down my face, pooling in the corners of my eyes. But I will continue to fight, for her. She is more than worth it, even with the hate in her eyes every time she looks at me. Knowing she is still breathing in this world, then I have done my job. If I fail and Xavier gets her in his clutches, I cannot imagine how the world will go on turning. My world definitely won’t.

  I see Olivia get to her feet and rush over to her shirt, start digging through the pockets on the front. What the fuck is she doing?

  Xavier bum rushes her from her side before I can scream her name. Wouldn’t have mattered much because this big tank like man lands an uppercut straight to my jaw, I almost go down like a sack of potatoes. I know that if my ass hits the ground, it will be over. They will take me out in a heartbeat. The other fucker just stands behind the big fucker bouncing on the balls of his feet like a prized fighter. He hasn’t thrown as ma
ny punches so I can’t see his weak spot. But the big dude, he definitely has a weakness. Before he throws a punch he points the foot of the hand he will throw.

  Trying to get my shit together I spit the mouth full of blood from the last punch right square into the chest of the big dude. My stupid gene is showing full out, but I don’t care, I need him to get so angry that he becomes reckless.

  Big dude just whips his massive shirt off and throws it to the side and grins at me. He has a split in his lip from where I busted him in the mouth, but that is about all the damage he has. His buddy, the fighter, has no damage to him because he hasn’t joined in. I try not to take my eyes off of him, but out of the corner of my mind there is movement. I see Olivia flat on her back with Xavier over her being ripped out of her panties. She is trying to fight, but it seems futile.

  Seeing that sends me into overdrive. I have to be able to get to her, I would never live with myself if something happens to her. Noticing my distraction, the big guy comes at me, charging like a bull to a matador. I plant my feet. Treating him like a bull to a matador I spin when he gets close, letting him run head-first into the cinderblock wall. With a thud, he goes down like a ton of bricks. One down, one more to go.

  I don’t dare glance over at Olivia as the fighter circles around me. I square up and follow his movements, waiting for his first move. Studying his movements, I watch for him to show his hand. He has a slow hook and that is the opening I have been waiting for. As his first swings out, I land a kick to his gut that knocks the air right out of his fucking lungs. Had to have broken a few ribs because he is gurgling and struggling for air on the ground. Straddling his chest, I land a punch to the face that has him sleeping on the floor.

  Standing up a loud shriek fills the air, and rushing over to Olivia. I see Xavier laying on top of her at an awkward angle. She is crying profusely, but he isn’t moving. My heart is ready to drop out of my butt because she is scared and shaking and I have no idea what is going on.

  “Olivia, baby, please talk to me!” I implore.

  Numb, darkness, despair, and dazed. I guess that is all that I am right now. That and I cannot breathe because of the weight of this monster on top of me.

  “Get him off! Get him off of me NOW!” Panic is an understatement, I am full on close to hyperventilating. Sweat and blood pour down my face. Damian rushes over to me practically yelling in my face to tell him what is going on. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. I’m naked with a dead naked man on top of me and I want to escape.

  “Please, please, please get him off of me. I’m begging you, please just let me go. I can’t do this, I can’t do any of this. I just want Jack, I need my boy.”

  Damian rolls Xavier off of me, his eyes are still open, but they have no spark in them. Lifeless and gone. As soon as he is off of me I roll to my side, I don’t want anyone seeing me this way. He at least has the good sense to take off his shirt and cover me with it. My crying and hyperventilating turn into full on hysterics, and I don’t know when it will stop.

  I know that I’m in shock and it will wear off, but I swear that I heard Damian pick up the phone. I swear I also heard him say something to the effect of being Officer Damian Shaw. But how can that be? He is a dirty cop, he isn’t even on the force, and he is a fucking prisoner! It must be the lack of oxygen to my brain because I slowly lose consciousness, but I have so many questions.

  *Beep Beep Beep*

  Ugh, rolling over I reach out to silence my alarm. But reaching out my arm I don’t hit it where it normally is. Cracking an eye open I see that there is no nightstand and this is not my room. Sitting up with a start I immediately feel dizzy and lay back down.

  “Hi sweetie, I’m Kimberly, your nurse. I know you must have a huge headache and I will tell you all about it, but there is someone who wants to see his mommy.” She silences the alarm and goes to the door. Before she can get to it, Jack bursts through the door with my mother close behind.

  He skids to a stop right before he reaches my bed, and I know he is scared. I hold my arms out and he instantly climbs up on the bed and into my arms. Squeezing him tight I look to my mom. She is in tears but trying not to let them fall.

  “Are you ok?” My mom who is not normally an overly emotional woman is suddenly overwrought with tears.

  “I’m ok, Mom. Just sore.”

  “Did he?” I know what she means, it makes me profoundly sad she has to ask.

  “No, he didn’t get a chance.” The look of relief on her face crushes me. I should have never put her or my baby in this kind of situation in the first place.

  “Momma, I was so scared. I thought I would never see you again. I tried so hard to help make grandma laugh while you were gone.” He looks younger than his 8 years.

  I squeeze him even harder. Never wanting to let him go again. “Damian kept me company when grandma was waiting for you to wake up.”

  That instantly stops me. I’m sure that I look like a fish out of water, opening and closing my mouth, trying to find the words. I send a look of confusion to my mom who is trying hard to gather her composure. She just smiles an all-knowing Mom smile at me.

  Just then the doctor comes in to talk to me.

  “Miss Ambrose, I’m Dr. Edwards, and I need to examine you now that you have woken up.” Looking at my child in my arms and my mother he meekly asks them to step outside.

  After going through the normal what is my name, how old am I, and general neuro exam he starts to look a little embarrassed so I am sure that his next set of questions will be uncomfortable.

  “Miss Ambrose, we performed a rape kit on you when you were brought in, but I still have to ask if you were sexually assaulted,” I don’t know how this guy got his license because he is extremely shy and gets red-faced asking tough questions.

  “No, he never got the chance, I,” my voice trails off and tears spring to my eyes threatening to overflow. He just nods his head and continues on.

  “You were very lucky to not have any breaks especially with the hits you took to the face. You do have a concussion along with losing consciousness so I am going to keep you at least another day for monitoring. Your face is bruised and you have a cut on your forehead and jaw that did not require stitches. You were very lucky. There is an officer here who would like to talk to you.” Yeah, lucky me. I killed a man who was trying to rape me in the middle of a prison break.

  As he leaves the room, I try to turn on my side but the soreness just won’t let me without exerting myself too much. So I settle for turning my head, I didn't expect to see the cops so soon. When I turn around, I am greeted with a familiar pair of glacier blue eyes staring straight at me.

  Seeing her laying there is one of the most excruciating pains I have ever felt. Feels like someone took a rusty butter knife and carved out my heart. I am scared to walk any further for fear of how she will react to me.

  “Why are you not in prison?” she asks with a resigned tone to her voice like she doesn’t give a shit about me. I know she doesn’t mean it. She can’t mean it.

  “Well, I never got to tell you what I needed to tell you. I wasn’t a prisoner. I am part of the prison police system working undercover. It is a special unit that was designed to gain information from high profile inmates in the hopes of solving cold cases. I work for the state and have been to almost every prison in the state as an inmate. They recruited me to get Intel. I was in the system basically to watch over Xavier. To gain his trust so that maybe he would give up his crimes. I never meant to lie to you, but I had to. I’m so sorry. You never were a part of the plan. But when I saw you, I just knew that I would have to have you. I was supposed to get in, get info, and get transferred out. So far nobody has ever suspected that I was not a prisoner. Even the guards aren’t privy to that info. Only the warden and my unit, and it would put a price on my head if anybody found out. I have been doing this for a while now and never once has this happened. Never once have I compromised my whole world for someone. I do my job and I
do it well, but when you came along, all I could think about is you. You were everything from the first time I saw you. I tried to protect you since then”

  She looks like she doesn’t believe me. So I grab my badge out of my back pocket and toss it onto her bed. I can see her tentatively look at it like it will burn her if she touches it. The tears are swimming in her eyes, and I am sure that this is overwhelming to her. Hell with all that I’m feeling, it’s overwhelming to me. She looks at the badge and then closes my wallet. It seems final. Like when she closed it, since she knows the truth is out she’s done. But little does she know, I will bend over backwards for her forgiveness, I will slay dragons or bring her the stars if I have to. Because she is it for me. The end, I don’t want anybody else. I want her and Jack.

  I mean yeah it’s sudden, and yeah it is probably too soon. But I guess when a person knows, they know. I used to never believe in love, used to fuck women from here to next week, a different name and a different face every day of the week. Now? Now it’s all her and her son. That means I need to get my shit straight for them. I need to grow up and become the man that they need me to be.

  “Say something,” I plead.

  She opens her mouth to speak but no words come out.

  “I didn’t mean to lie to you. You have to believe that. I tried to protect you, I tried to divert his fixation from you. But he started to get suspicious when I kept trying to get his sick mind off of you. So I had to back off, that was why I couldn’t warn you when he went to smear the nut on your face mask. From then on, he lost all trust for me. I couldn’t get close to him to find out that he was planning all of this to get to you. I would have killed him myself had I known.”

  I’m not ashamed to say that I would get on my knees and beg if she needs me to. This tiny woman has me all tied up in knots inside. On the one hand I want her and on the other I feel like it would be best to walk away and let her and her kid lead their lives away from me. That little devil on my shoulder thinks I should run and run fast. The angel on my shoulder is telling me that I can do this. I can be who she needs me to be.