Nothing to Fear

by Claire Boston

  The click of the door closing was like a trap snapping shut and she stepped away from him, away from the closed door, wrapping her arms around herself as her heart raced.

  He held up his hands. “It’s OK. I don’t want Felix waking and walking in on us.”

  He was right. Of course he was, but her body wasn’t listening to her head. Joe wasn’t even in the room with them.

  Ryan walked away from the door and sat on the bed, taking off his shoes. She inched closer to the entrance, trying not to panic. It was fine, she was safe, this was Ryan.

  He shuffled on to the bed, sitting so his back rested against the headboard and his legs were crossed at the ankles in front of him. His posture was relaxed, casual and pretty darn sexy. She glanced to the closed door. She had clear access to the exit.

  “Did you ever play the game hot or cold as a kid?”

  The question had her focusing back on Ryan. She frowned. “What?”

  “It’s the game where you hide something and others have to find it. And you say hot or cold depending on whether they’re getting closer to or further away from the object.”

  She nodded, still confused.

  He beckoned her forward, the motion so sexy that she took a couple of steps towards him. “We could play it now,” he said. “Except the object is your desire.” He paused. “The door closed makes it ice cold, right?” His voice was low, cautious, but kind.

  “Yes.” She wanted to go back to when Ryan was touching her and her body was hot and alive.

  He held out a hand and after a split second of hesitation she took it. His thumbs made a slow, circular motion on the back of her hand that sent lovely ripples through her body.

  “You tell me when I’m getting warmer.” He tugged her closer and kissed her palm. “You say cold and I stop.”

  His slow, gentle kisses up her arm were clouding her mind. She smiled, thrilled that he hadn’t given up on her, thrilled that he was trying to make this work. “So my desire is like a kids’ game?”

  “Not at all, but it might help, might make it kind of fun.”

  She liked the idea and she trusted that he would do what he promised. The enormity of that trust flooded her mind. He wouldn’t hurt her. She wasn’t afraid. She toed off her sandals. “Can I be on this side – closest to the door?” It would help, she was sure.

  “Of course.” He shuffled over and she carefully climbed on to the bed next to him.

  Ryan cupped her cheek. “You only need to say the word,” he whispered, before kissing her.

  She let herself relax into the kiss. His hand gently trailed down her bare side. “Hot or cold?”

  “Warm,” she said. She turned away from the door, concentrating on the sensations his hands were causing in her body.

  His hand drifted to her stomach. “What about now?”

  “Warmer.”

  He brushed her nipple with his thumb and her groin throbbed. She wanted more. “Hot.”

  His smile was slow and full of pleasure as he moved down the bed and replaced his thumb with his mouth.

  Holy shit. Hannah’s back arched as his tongue teased her nipple, wanting, needing … She moaned. “More.” His breath was warm against the fabric of her bra. She didn’t want any barricade against their skin. She reached around and unclasped her bra, pulling it off.

  Then his mouth was on her breast and it was sheer pleasure. No man had touched her in this way and it was a revelation. She closed her eyes and let herself feel.

  Ryan shifted and tasted her other breast and it felt just as good. Every nerve in her body was singing in celebration.

  He brought his mouth back to hers and she kissed him, pouring all of her passion into the kiss.

  “Lie down, Hannah,” he murmured as he kissed her neck.

  She shuffled down in the bed, more than happy to do as he suggested. Her groin throbbed and she was hot, so hot.

  He kissed her again. “You’re so beautiful. I want to kiss every part of your body.”

  “All right.” She wanted whatever he wanted to give her.

  He chuckled and moved on top of her, his arms either side of her body and his weight over her legs.

  She froze. “Cold!” She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart pounding in her chest, praying he would move, that he would listen to what she said.

  “Shit, I’m sorry.” Quickly, he moved off her and stood up.

  Relief rushed through her as she sat up, shifting away. Then misery poured through the valleys the relief had left. “I’m sorry, so sorry.” He must think she was such a tease. She wrapped her arms around her middle, unable to look at him.

  “Open your eyes, Hannah.” He ran a hand down her side and she flinched instinctively. He sighed. “Talk to me.”

  Reluctantly she opened her eyes.

  “Was it my weight on top of you?”

  She nodded.

  “OK, can I sit on the bed? We could maybe try again and figure out what works for you.”

  She stared at him. How could he still be interested? He didn’t seem mad at all. Instead he was concerned. She didn’t want him to feel bad. It was she who had the problem, and she still wanted him. “All right.”

  Slowly, he lay on the bed beside her. He took hold of her hand, kissing her knuckles. “Do you want to scoot down next to me?”

  She did. She really wanted to conquer this. She slid back down the bed and he placed his arm across her, turning her head so he could kiss her again.

  The kisses relaxed her and she breathed in his scent. He pressed himself closer to her side. “Is this OK?”

  “Yes.” She ran her hand down his back, enjoying the smoothness of his skin.

  “How about this?” He draped one leg over her legs.

  “Yes.”

  “So it’s my full body on top of you that doesn’t work?”

  “I think so.”

  He smiled. “I can work with that. Can I keep going?”

  She squeezed his hand. “If you really want to. This must suck for you.”

  “Not at all. I’m enjoying myself, and I’m hoping you are too.” He tilted his head to the side in question.

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Now, where was I?” He kissed her softly and then began a slow journey down her body, spending time with each breast until her whole body was hot and relaxed and needy. His hand slid up her skirt and brushed her core, and it felt so hot she was amazed she didn’t burn him. “Hot.”

  “I’ll say.” Ryan grinned at her. He brushed up against her underpants, once, twice and she pressed herself against his hand.

  “Can I take off your skirt?”

  She nodded, unable to speak. She lifted her hips to reach the zip and Ryan slipped his hands under her butt, pressing her groin to his mouth.

  “Yes.” She fumbled with the zip, struggling to make her hands work. His tongue licked her through the fabric and she moaned, her body shuddering. She was going to combust. She had to get her clothes off, had to remove the barricade. With trembling hands, she slid down the zip and pushed down her skirt.

  Ryan lifted his head and helped her drag away the skirt. She was lying there in only her underwear and she wanted them off as well. She pushed at them, and Ryan stilled her hands.

  “There’s no rush,” he said, sliding his hands along her mound, making her groan. Slowly he ran a finger under the fabric, touching her most intimate place. “Hot or cold?”

  “Hot. Very hot.”

  His smile was pure smoulder.

  “Please, Ryan.”

  “As you wish.” He peeled down her underpants and she kicked them off, and then his mouth was on her. His tongue teased and tasted and her body shuddered. She’d never felt anything like it, never dreamed it could be like this. His finger nudged her entrance and then he stopped. “Hot or cold?”

  “Hot.” She wanted to feel him everywhere. As his finger caressed her inside, and his tongue kissed her outside, the intense pressure built up inside her. She was helpless to stop it, she did
n’t want to stop it.

  And then all thought ceased and she cried out as she came.

  Chapter 15

  Hannah felt amazing – there was no other word to describe this incredible relief and joy and satisfaction swirling around inside her. She stared at the ceiling, not quite believing it. Ryan had worked with her past, her triggers, and she’d had the best orgasm of her life. Tears welled up. She wasn’t broken.

  Ryan lay down next to her and pulled her close. “Are you all right?”

  She nodded, hugging him. “Thank you.”

  “My absolute pleasure.” He licked his lips.

  Hannah blushed, her senses slowly returning to her.

  He shuffled, adjusting himself, and then pressed kisses against her arm.

  Guilt stabbed her. He hadn’t come, he wasn’t even completely naked. “I’m sorry.” She sat up. “You must be aching.”

  He smiled that slow, sweet smile. “We’re taking this as slow as you need us to,” he said. “I can wait.”

  The evidence of his arousal strained against the fabric of his jeans. She ran a tentative hand down his stomach and over his erection. It twitched and she snatched her hand back as fear swept through her. “Cold.” She remembered having her legs forced wide, that thing pressing against her. “Shit!” Misery pooled in her stomach. Ryan wasn’t Justin, Ryan wasn’t going to force her to do anything.

  “Hey, it’s all right,” Ryan said. “I’m guessing the last time you felt one of those, it wasn’t in the best circumstances.”

  She nodded.

  “So, we’ll make new circumstances when you’re ready.” He kissed her cheek.

  God, he was so understanding and it made her feel worse, like the most selfish person in the world. “That’s hardly fair to you.”

  “I’ve loved every minute of tonight,” Ryan said. “I loved you relaxing and letting go.” His hand caressed her breasts and her nipples puckered. He smiled. “Besides, I realised halfway through that I don’t have any condoms.”

  Damn. She hadn’t considered condoms. She was so inexperienced. It was lucky he wasn’t. “Thank you for … everything.” Her chest was tight, puffed up to twice the size, trying to contain all the emotion swirling around inside of her.

  “You’re welcome.” He stood up. “Why don’t you have a shower? I’ll make us a couple of drinks and we’ll watch some TV before we go to bed.”

  Even now, he wasn’t pushing to join her and he must have a serious case of blue balls. Her feelings for him intensified, and she pulled on the reins. She couldn’t let them run away. Ryan was a seriously great guy, he was kind, considerate and so unbelievably patient. She liked him so very much, but they’d only known each other a week. It would be foolish to get carried away. Particularly when he’d admitted he wanted to take things slow, that he was worried about Felix. “All right.”

  He left the room and she instantly missed his presence.

  “Dad, what are you doing in my bed?” Felix’s voice right next to his ear woke Ryan the next morning.

  He groaned. “Hannah’s sleeping in my bed.”

  “And probably Joe,” Felix said, delighted.

  “Probably.” After they’d watched television the night before, he’d decided it would be best if he slept with his son.

  He didn’t mind. Sure, he wanted her with a desire that made him hurt, but if he rushed her now, he might lose her and he didn’t want that. Last night had been an experience unlike anything he’d had before. He’d wanted to show Hannah how good intimacy could be and he’d celebrated every moan and sigh he’d received from her. He hadn’t felt so good about himself in a long time.

  Felix yawned.

  “Scoot over, you hog.” Ryan pushed Felix to the other side of the mattress.

  Felix giggled. “You’re almost falling out of bed.”

  “I know.” He stretched and sat up. Felix was not a restful sleeper, and Ryan had been pushed and kicked most of the night. “What do you want for breakfast?”

  “Eggs and soldiers.”

  Ryan raised his eyebrows.

  “Please,” he added.

  “All right.” He checked the time. “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll make breakfast?”

  “Sure, Dad.”

  Ryan pulled on his jeans and walked into the kitchen, switching on the kettle. His bedroom door was closed and the shower was running. Figuring Hannah wouldn’t be long, he put enough eggs on to boil for the three of them and made a couple of coffees. It was six o’clock and they both had to be at work at seven.

  Her phone rang in his bedroom and when it stopped, his started.

  Ryan braced himself. “Lincoln.”

  “Do you know where Hannah is?”

  “Yeah, she’s here. Why?”

  Lincoln paused. “She’s at your place?”

  Ryan grinned, debating whether to lead his friend on. “She stayed in my bed and I bunked with Felix.”

  “Oh. Right. Well tell her not to go to the office.”

  “Why not?”

  “Our friend has broken in and covered the whole area with milk.”

  “Milk?”

  “It’s day eight – eight maids a-milking.”

  Ryan closed his eyes. “This person really likes his twelve days of Christmas. He must have been pissed about her missing their appointment.”

  “The note says, Lying, selfish whore.”

  “Did you catch him on camera?”

  “Yeah, but it’s not clear. He smashed that first. We’ve got a body build, but that’s all.”

  Ryan swore.

  “I’m going to arrange it so Hannah’s not alone for the next couple of days,” Lincoln said. “She’s going Christmas shopping with the girls tomorrow so she’ll be in Albany all day.”

  “That’s great.” Hannah came out of the bedroom, her hair damp and her cheeks flushed pink. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her he cared. But those words were too scary, too much, he’d only just met her. Worry flooded him and he focused on the phone call. “Do you want to speak to her?”

  “Tell her it’ll take us a couple of hours to investigate.”

  “Will do. I’ll be there as soon as I drop Felix off.” He hung up.

  “Who was that?”

  “Lincoln.”

  She sighed. “What now?”

  “You can’t go to your office this morning.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because your stalker broke in and spread milk around the whole area.”

  “Shit!” She grimaced. “Eight maids a-milking. How badly damaged is everything?”

  “Lincoln didn’t say. How do you remember the song so well?” Ryan asked. “I barely remember the first couple of lines.”

  “I checked when the gifts first started,” she said. “Plus, Mum used to sing it and made Dad and I both gifts for the twelve days before Christmas.”

  Ryan’s instincts went on red alert and almost immediately Hannah made the same connection.

  Her eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”

  Felix came out. “Morning, Hannah!” He ran over to Joe, who was standing by the door to be let out. “Hiya, boy.” He rubbed Joe’s fur and then opened the door.

  Hannah was standing there, her face pale. He wanted to reassure her. “It might be a coincidence.” Though he highly doubted it.

  “Is breakfast ready yet?” Felix asked.

  Ryan moved on autopilot, putting bread into the toaster. “Almost.” He handed Hannah her coffee and poured Felix an orange juice.

  “Dad, can I play with Jacob today?”

  Ryan’s mind switched gears instantly. “I’ll have to call Lynette and Mrs Z and ask.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I need to go,” Hannah finally said. “I need to ask Dad if he’s doing this.”

  He shook his head. “No. He’ll just deny it.” And if he had anything to do with it, Ryan didn’t want her anywhere near him. “We’ll go and question him. Where is he staying?”

  She huff
ed out a breath. “At his son Phillip’s place. It’s somewhere in Albany.”

  “Do you have any contact details?”

  “No. He was going to call me.”

  Ryan made a note. “He won’t be hard to find. There’ll be something on his parole file.” He buttered the toast and cut it into strips for Felix, before placing it and the egg cup in front of him.

  Hannah grabbed her keys from the bench. “I need to go and assess the damage.”

  “Hannah, you’re not going to be allowed in.” He stepped in front of her to stop her from leaving.

  She glared at him. “So what am I meant to do – sit and twiddle my thumbs while this bastard tries to ruin my life?” Her anger was clear and he was pleased. It was far better than her being scared.

  “Dad, is everything OK?”

  Hannah grimaced.

  Ryan turned to Felix. “Yeah, mate. Someone has been doing mean things to Hannah and she’s upset.”

  “Like the cabin?”

  “Yeah.” He hadn’t mentioned yet that it was Paula, or that she was in town. Hadn’t decided what he should tell Felix. “We’re getting closer,” he said to Hannah. “Maybe your dad can shed some light.”

  She sighed and sat at the table. “Sorry, Felix. I didn’t mean to yell.”

  “It’s all right. I yell sometimes when I’m upset.” Felix hesitated then hugged her. “You can yell if it makes you feel better.”

  “Thanks,” Hannah said, “but I’m not sure it does. I don’t like yelling at my friends.”

  Felix glanced at Ryan, his expression uncertain and then asked, “Am I your friend?”

  “Of course – if you’d like to be,” Hannah said. “I like you, you’re nice.”

  He beamed. “OK.”

  The joy on Felix’s face warmed Ryan and worried him too. If Ryan stuffed up things with Hannah, Felix would be affected as well.

  He turned his attention to the issue of Hannah’s father. “It can’t be your father. His fingerprints would be on file and we had no matches.” But still, the coincidence was too strong for him to ignore. Maybe he was paying someone to do it – but why? He put a boiled egg in front of Hannah. “Why don’t you eat something before you go?”