Confessions of a Demon

by S. L. Wright

  I couldn’t speak for a moment. He was offering me the impossible dream, to be completely myself, honest with my friends and family about who I was.… I might even be able to have a relationship with a good man like Theo, someone who wouldn’t hold my differences against me.

  “Very seductive… but I’d be selling snake oil.”

  “You don’t have to decide now. The only reason I told you this soon is because Glory made a move against you. Let’s talk about it more. You can give us your suggestions—the Fellowship is open to incorporating a broader social message in our reforms. We can look deeper into our projections and research, while you help us refine our policies. There’s no rush; we’d do everything on a timetable that you’re comfortable with.”

  “So you’ll protect Shock and me while I’m making up my mind?”

  Vex’s voice was soothing. “If you stay in the Prophet’s Center, I can protect you. Next week, after I deal with the Glory situation, then it may be safer for you to go home.”

  “I’m not staying here,” I said flatly.

  His voice matched mine. “Then I can’t release your friend, not unless you stay.” Vex clicked the phone, ending our call.

  I punched the elevator button and waited for it to return. It was impossible to tell which floor the elevator had taken Theo to.

  When it finally returned, I stepped inside. Dread was now on the third floor, if I was any judge. I could be walking into a stupid game of good cop/bad cop. But I had to try to convince him to release Theo. Clearly, Dread and Vex weren’t joined at the hip anymore, so there might be some crack I could slip a wedge into.

  When I reached the right floor, I hurried down the corridor to find a way to the west side of the building. Dread was in a conference room.

  The palace boardroom had not been on our tour. The compact jewelry-box layout featured blue satin panels between beveled mirrors, capped by a gold-leaf ceiling painted with cherubs. I felt as if I had stepped back into the time of the Queen Mary.

  Actually, it was more like the Titanic. Time for me to make like an iceberg.

  Dread sat at one end of an elaborate table. He had a pile of folders at one hand and an open laptop at the other. He was concentrating on something on the screen.

  “Ah, Allay. They said you were coming up.” He pushed the computer closed and gestured for me to take a seat next to him.

  I went closer. “Tallying up what I owe the Fellowship?”

  Dread was still pointing to the chair. “Sit down so we can talk about this, Allay. I’m sorry things have gotten out of hand. It was Vex’s orders, and I told him it was a mistake.”

  I sat down. Perhaps Dread was willing to negotiate. “You can order his release. You’re the prophet.”

  “Allay, I’ve seen the tape of him attacking Vex.”

  I waved my hand at him. “You know Vex had something to do with it. This reeks of a setup. He lured Theo to his room and then tampered with the evidence. Do you have footage of Theo’s going up there?”

  Dread narrowed his eyes. “Strange enough, no. My people aren’t sure how he got onto the secured floor.”

  “It was Vex,” I said triumphantly. “He’s lying to both of us.”

  I knew I had hit him smack in the middle of his doubts. But Dread had been Vex’s man for too long. “I can convince Vex to let him go if you agree to cooperate with us.”

  “I haven’t decided yet. Vex said I could take my time thinking about it.”

  Dread considered me for a few moments. “Look at it from his side, Allay. He’s afraid you’ll be killed if you run around on the streets in your current state. Maybe Glory doesn’t want you dead, but at the very least she wants to stop you from helping Vex. He’ll do anything to keep you here in the complex, even if it makes you angry. You’re too valuable to him.”

  “Then why doesn’t he lock me up instead of Theo?”

  “He thinks you’ll come around and cooperate with him. Once you realize you’ll be the most powerful person on Earth.”

  I took a deep breath. Person? I wasn’t a person anymore, and that was the critical thing these two demons were forgetting. Lies were my life. I’d say anything in order to get Theo out. I tried to seem as if I were thinking it over. “So I could stay looking like myself forever? I could even reconnect with my family once they knew what I was?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay, I agree. I’ll help you with your Revelation.”

  Dread shook his head at me, seemingly more amused than exasperated. “You have to convince Vex of that, Allay. And I doubt he’ll believe you so quickly.”

  “What do I have to do to convince him?”

  He considered it, his eyes narrowed as he thought. “Maybe if you cooperate on another project with us, something short-term yet sincere, he’ll believe you.”

  Was it his signature that made me feel as if I were standing on the edge of a slippery slope? “What kind of project?”

  His hands clasped together on the table. “You must understand, Allay, that you don’t have much time left.”

  Back to that again; my need to take on another demon’s life force before I died. But I wanted answers and Dread was a very old demon; he would know the truth, if anyone did. “How long do you think I have?”

  “Two weeks, perhaps. No longer than that.”

  “What? That soon?” I had gotten so good at suppressing the growing urgency inside of myself that I hadn’t realized it was that dire. I was going to die if I didn’t take another demon. Something deep inside my belly began to cramp, twisting me forward as it overwhelmed me with the need to take, take, take.… I forced it back down.

  Dread was nodding sympathetically. “I may have a solution. Hybrids are much more fertile than other demons. If you cram yourself with energy, Allay, you can fission fairly quickly.”

  I grimaced. “You want me to eat my own offspring?”

  “No—I will. Then I’ll give you mine, which is sure to emerge afterward. You need it even more than I do, Allay. We can help each other. I… need your help.”

  He was being honest; he was letting his shields ease, reaching for my hands. But my disgust rang through my palms. To him it was a lovely offer, a gesture of trust and bonding. To me it was abhorrent.

  Dread dropped my hands, trying to get away from my disgust. I couldn’t have screamed, “No!” in his face any louder.

  “If that’s the way you feel about it.” He rubbed the back of his hand against his mouth, as if I had slapped him.

  “I… can’t.”

  “I see that.”

  I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t going to live at the mercy of Dread and Vex, pushed this way and that according to their whim. I’d been owned all this time as surely as I owned Snowplow. But it was time for that to end.

  My own death would solve my problems. But I needed to settle some things first. I could take responsibility for myself to the end, and go the way I had tried to live—proud and independent. It wasn’t a bad way to go, after all: Human integrity and demonic pride were two pretty powerful statements to make to both races.

  Dread saw it. “You’re thinking about walking out, aren’t you? Once you renew yourself, you think you can keep on the run from everyone. You figure someday we’ll find another possessed human, and we’ll use that hybrid for our Revelation. Then you can come out of hiding because we won’t need you anymore.”

  I was glad he hadn’t guessed my real intentions. “Actually, I hadn’t gotten past the running part, but thanks for the optimistic plan for my future.”

  His eyes narrowed. “It would be much better if we were friends. You want your friend released, and I need a demon to consume. Work with me, Allay.”

  I stood up, pushing the chair back. “Shouldn’t you be wearing horns and a pointy little tail?”

  “Don’t walk out, Allay.”

  I turned on my heel and headed to the door. It was time to see how far Vex and Dread were willing to go.

  I returned to the e
levator without seeing another soul, but it was Sunday evening after all. The door was open and waiting, and the lobby button turned bright white under my finger. As I descended, I expected to take another uncontrolled ride down to the basement to face Montagna’s squad.

  But the door opened at the lobby, and when I stepped into the secured area between the elevators, none of the guards looked at me. They all seemed to be busy with something. I didn’t recognize any of them—they hadn’t been involved in the takedown of Theo.

  The gate opened automatically and the stoic man standing next to it nodded to me as I went through. “Good evening, Ms. Meyers,” he said.

  There were lots of people hanging out in the lobby, reading or working on computers. One young mother was watching her two toddlers play next to a padded bench that encircled a raised planter.

  It was all so ordinary, as if I had stepped into another world—the old world.

  I walked through the lobby, wondering what they were doing to Theo. They could be beating him up or worse. If I hadn’t stopped Vex, he could have sucked the life from him, leaving him a senseless husk. What would stop Vex from doing that now?

  As I neared the glass door, horns were honking from the backed-up traffic waiting to get onto the Williamsburg Bridge. Construction crews had put up orange barriers blocking the outside lanes so they could work all night. Policemen would be over there directing traffic.

  Nobody was running after me to stop me. Didn’t they care about the stink I could make? But the Fellowship of Truth had a lot of influence in the city; Dread probably had dinner with the mayor on a regular basis. Maybe they could do anything they wanted to with Theo and get away with it.

  Someone bumped into me, muttering in irritation. I realized I was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, not moving.

  I couldn’t leave Theo in their hands. I had to do something to bring down the Fellowship, and it had to work fast because I didn’t have much time.

  13

  I called Revel as soon as I got into a cab and was heading over the bridge. When he answered, I asked, “Do you know what Vex plans to do with me?”

  “Allay, is that you? What’s wrong?”

  “I’m going to ask only one more time, and then I’m hanging up. Did Vex tell you how he intends to use me for his church?”

  “His church? What are you talking about, Allay? The only thing I know is that Vex wants you protected, so we did that, Shock and I. You haven’t made it easy, you know. You have no security and you act as if you were invincible, taking risks when you could be safe. But we make sure that the other demons know what Vex will do to them if they step out of line.”

  “The Glory demons don’t listen very well.”

  “Why didn’t you tell us that? You should have heard Vex when he laid into me. He was livid. We could have done something to stop them, but you didn’t give us a chance.” His voice grew more eager. “But what does this have to do with the Fellowship, Allay?”

  If he didn’t know, then I wasn’t about to tell him. “How’s Shock doing?”

  He knew better than to push me. “She’s much better. Her aura is sound. She says she remembers the attack and she saw the demon, but there was no signature even as he drained her. I think that’s frightened her more than she wants to admit. She hasn’t even hinted at leaving here.”

  “So do you know who the stealth demon is? I need to find out.”

  “I’m doing the best I can, Allay. I’ve been researching this for centuries, but it’s hard to say what’s truth and what’s myth. It’s most likely more than one demon.”

  I sighed, wishing he could be more help. “You have to protect Shock from Vex and Dread. Can you do that? They may try to use her to manipulate me.” I wasn’t telling any secrets; everyone knew I’d do anything for Shock.

  “I won’t let that happen, Allay. But I have to know: What does Vex want from you?”

  I hung up, and I didn’t answer when he tried to call me back. I wasn’t even sure it was safe for Shock to stay with Revel, but there was no other option right now. If she couldn’t sense her attacker, then she couldn’t be on the streets.

  It wasn’t safe for me, either.

  I called Shock’s cell and gave her the bad news about Vex’s big plans for me—Revelation and all. She was almost monosyllabic, she was so stunned. “You aren’t going to do it, Allay, are you?” Shock finally asked.

  “No. I’m no messiah. I want nothing to do with this.”

  “You’d better not tell Vex that.”

  “Isn’t that the truth. But I have to force him to let Theo go. I owe it to Theo for getting him involved in this. I’m on my way to the police now.”

  “Allay… you can’t do that. Why don’t you come here and we can talk it over, try to figure something out.”

  Revel was right; Shock was spooked. It must have been awful looking into the face of a demon you couldn’t sense as your life force was drained away. “Revel says you saw him. The demon. Did he wear the same persona both times?”

  Her voice was much lower. “Yeah, he was… bland. Male, twenty-five to forty, light brown hair, brown eyes. Allay, it could have been anyone. I knew he was a demon, but I felt nothing.”

  Her tone chilled me. “You stay at Revel’s where you’re safe, Shock. Don’t tell him about Vex’s plans for a Revelation, not yet. I’ll call you when I find out who’s behind this.” As I hung up, I wished I could tell her I was closer to knowing the truth. But she was right; it could have been anyone.

  It was time to play hardball with Vex.

  The police station was a gray-green cement-block building on Avenue A that smelled strongly of Pine-Sol. I figured going local would give me more leverage since the cops there knew me, instead of reporting Theo’s kidnapping to the Williamsburg police. I talked to Lieutenant Markman, whom I’d worked with on an assault case between two patrons in my bar. He took me seriously, asking probing questions: Why was my driver’s license recorded by the Fellowship security guards, but not Theo Ram’s? Why was I allowed to leave the Prophet’s Center but Mr. Ram was detained? Why did we stay overnight at the Prophet’s Center?

  I found it difficult to answer. Like any good cop, he sensed I was hiding something when I explained that I went to see the prophet because I had just discovered the church owned my bar. Markman was older, rounded in the face and belly, with silver hair cut very short. But he had walked the streets and knew a thing or two about people. I didn’t think I was able to pass off my stumbling words as anxiety for my friend, caught in the clutches of the Fellowship.

  Once I reported the kidnapping, the bureaucracy took over with crushing force. After a lengthy wait, Markman reported back to me in his flat, cop monotone: The Brooklyn police had gone over to the Prophet’s Center, where they were informed that there had been no visitors in the past week by the name of Theo Ram. However, one Emma Meyers was an honored guest with free access to anywhere in the complex. The police were told that I had come alone, and the security guards showed them footage that seemingly proved their assertions. More doctored video.

  Meanwhile, Lieutenant Markman had pulled the police report from the incident with Pique at my bar Friday night and sent a car over to Theo’s apartment. “Nobody of that name lives at apartment 3R at that address,” Markman told me when I was finally called back to his desk after cooling my heels in the front. “A family by the name of Sanchez lives there and they’ve never heard of him. The boys asked around, but nobody knows the guy. There’s no one by the surname Ram registered with the New York State driver’s license bureau under any address or with the Taxi and Limousine Commission. In fact, there’re no tax forms filed under any variation of the name Theo Ram in Manhattan.”

  “He lied?” That was the last thing I expected. It stunned me—all demons were natural lie-detectors. I had felt guilt from him, yes, but not deception.

  Markman looked at me sternly. “I would like to remind you, Ms. Myers, that filing a false police report is a criminal misdem
eanor. Are you sure you want to sign this complaint against Mr. Anderson?”

  I was so confused that I stuttered a refusal and stumbled my way out of there. Then I went to East Tenth Street myself to ask some questions. It went from murky twilight to full dark as I searched around for someone who might know Theo. The cops had been there looking for him; that was the hottest information I found.

  At a loss, I slowly headed downtown. Who was Theo? Why had he lied to me? More important, how could he have lied to me and I didn’t see it in his aura? Was I so besotted that I couldn’t trust myself with him?

  I remembered how he had appeared out of nowhere during my fight with Pique. Maybe he was working for another demon; a spy planted outside my bar to watch, and even protect me. Since he had saved me from Pique, it could have been Revel. Or Vex. Or possibly Dread.

  I stopped in my tracks. Whoa… That made a lot of sense, and answered a lot of questions.

  That was why Theo had been so protective of me. That was why he felt guilty, because he couldn’t tell me. And that was why he held back last night in the loft—he couldn’t let his boss think he was seducing me. Maybe that was why Dread had discounted him so completely, because Theo was one of their own hired hands sent to watch over me.

  The more I thought about Theo’s emotions, that terrible well of despair bubbling deep inside of him, I knew that he worked for the church. They were destroying him, using him for ugly, cruel deeds, just as surely as they were destroying Phil Anchor inch by painful inch.

  Stupid, stupid me. I should have realized it.

  That changed everything. I wouldn’t get any help from the police or by threat of media exposure. This was between me and Vex alone. Demon to demon; Vex would not be swayed by anything or anyone even remotely human. He would expect me to come in with my human sensibilities overwhelming demonic logic. Well, he was in for a surprise.

  I looked up and realized my feet had automatically brought me home. My block looked exactly the same, but somehow it felt strange. The windows of the bar needed washing, but the sidewalk had been swept the way I liked it, and the flowers in the planter under the tree were freshly watered. There was a pile of black garbage bags sitting on a thrown-out couch in front of the building next door. My car was tucked behind the gate in the narrow alley, an old Karmen Ghia always packed with essentials and ready for a quick getaway.