Forever Box Set

by Wendy Louise

  “Ethan, breathe, it will be alright. Nanny is a fighter - remember?”

  She gives me a small reassuring smile, squeezes my hand and returns her gaze to the passenger-side window.

  As Miranda, our Studio driver, pulls the vehicle up at the entrance, I suddenly feel like I can’t go in there. It’s like a full-blown panic attack is burrowing its way from my stomach to my throat. I start to take very deep breaths and try to calm myself. I need to hold it together for Nanny.

  For Ava.

  For me.

  “I’ll return your luggage to your home Mr Drake.”

  “Thanks Miranda. I appreciate that. Please take Ava’s luggage back to my place too. We can get it from there later this evening.”

  “Yes Sir.”

  I tip Miranda and take Ava’s hand as we make our way through the sterile entrance that will lead me to Nanny. My nose is assaulted by the smell of disinfectant that always accompanies hospitals. I hate it. We head to the bank of elevators in the lobby and push the call button waiting for it to arrive and take me to see the only member of my family that means anything to me.

  Please God, let her be okay!

  Please God, let her be okay!

  Once we reach the fourth floor, I turn left out of the elevator, following the instructions that Josh gave me. We reach a large oval shaped desk that looks to be the Nurse’s Station. I ring the bell and wait. A large woman with grey hair and blue scrubs approaches us.

  “Good Afternoon, can I assist you?” she says kindly.

  “I’m here for Grace Martin. I’m Ethan Drake, her next of kin. She was brought in last night following a stroke.” Panic rises in my throat when I say that out loud. It makes it all seem so much more real.

  “Of course Mr Drake, we’ve been expecting you. Wait one moment please and I’ll call Doctor Reid, he’ll be able to update you on Grace’s situation. Just take a seat over there.”

  We turn to take a seat on the black plastic chairs that line the wall. They’re uncomfortable and ugly, and I always wonder why hospitals don’t have nicer chairs available for those who wait. Most people end up sitting in those chairs for a very long time waiting for news on their loved ones; you’d think that they would make them as soft as marshmallows.

  I hold tight to Ava’s hand as we take our seats. Her brow is creased and she looks as concerned as I feel. I lean forward and kiss her cheek.

  “Thank you for being with me.”

  “There’s nowhere else I would want to be right now Ethan. You need me, I’m here.”

  “I can’t live without her Ava, she’s all I have,” I whisper.

  Ava turns her gaze on me, and with a look of defiance she says “That’s where you’re wrong Ethan. You have me too now; you’ll always have me, no matter what.”

  In that moment, in this hospital, while waiting to hear of the fate of one of the most important people in my life, my heart fills.

  To capacity.

  How can I have such deep feelings of despair over Nanny and such overwhelming feelings of fulfilment from Ava’s words at the same time?

  The two feelings totally contradict one another, yet my heart is brimming from both of them. It’s like I would not be able to endure the pain of what is happening to Nanny without Ava’s sweetness balancing it out.

  How did I ever survive without this girl?

  As my heart swells further and feelings of adoration fill my mind, I come to a frightening realisation.

  I think this is love.

  I think this is what love is supposed to be like.

  I’ve never been in love before, but I’m not stupid, and I’m sure that’s what I’m experiencing.

  I feel terrified.

  I feel exhilarated.

  Holy shit!

  I’m in love with Ava.

  I know we’ve only known each other for such a short period of time. We’ve hardly even had a chance to date, but it feels like she is my other half, my missing puzzle piece. Sitting here right now, I know without any doubt that she is the person that my soul has been looking for, without me consciously knowing it.

  With that realisation, comes a whole new sense of calm that suddenly engulfs me. I know without any doubt that as long as she is with me, I will be okay.

  I.Will.Be.Okay.

  Bliss and sorrow

  I hear footsteps approaching from behind me and turn expecting to see the doctor, but it’s actually Grayson striding towards us.

  “I’m so sorry man; I came as soon as I could, how is she?”

  Grayson leans down and gives me a one armed guy-hug, patting me on the back when he is finished.

  “How did you know I was here Gray?”

  He nods towards Ava. “Ava called me, told me you were on your way back from Hawaii and what had happened.”

  I look to Ava and she shrugs.

  “I figured the more support you had the better.” I bring her hand to my mouth and brush a kiss across her knuckles.

  Grayson bends and gives Ava a hug. “How are you Ava?”

  “I’m good Grayson, thanks for coming.” She gives him a smile but I can see the strain behind her eyes.

  Gray takes the seat on the other side of me and we all settle in to wait for the doctor to see us.

  “You’re a good friend Gray,” I say nudging his shoulder with mine.

  “Yeah, yeah I know,” he says with a grin.

  After what feels like an eternity of sitting in silence, but in reality is probably only about fifteen minutes, the doctor finally approaches.

  “Mr Drake?” I stand and the doctor shakes my hand.

  “Hi, I’m Doctor Reid, I’ve been treating Grace. Would you like to follow me and we can talk somewhere more private?”

  Ava and Grayson stand and we start to follow the doctor.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” he says, “only family is allowed past this point. Your friends will need to wait out here for you.”

  “Doctor, these two are family. They’re all the family that I have, and Nanny too.”

  Doctor Reid furrows his brow. “Okay, I’ll make an exception, but you’ll only be able to go in and see Grace one at a time.”

  I nod as I take Ava’s hand, lacing our fingers together, and the three of us start to walk the length of the horrible white corridor with the ugly strip lighting, and disinfectant smell.

  The doctor ushers us in to a small office and offers us a seat.

  “Grace suffered a stroke in her sleep. We won’t be able to ascertain the extent of the damage that it may have caused until she wakes up. The side effects will differ depending on which part of the brain she suffered the stroke in, and how big it was.”

  My brain feels fried as the words leave his mouth and all I really want to ask is if she’s going to get through it, but I’m too scared that his answer may be – No.

  The doctor’s voice weaves back in to my conscience, “……a stroke on the right side of the brain generally affects the left side of the body and vice versa. Grace will need ongoing care and medical attention……”

  I am listening and taking in the words, but I feel like my mind has escaped my body. I don’t want to hear any of this in relation to Nanny.

  My special, beautiful, kind-hearted Nanny, who has given everything to me.

  I start to focus on a tile on the roof that is split in two. I wonder how long it will hold without being repaired. I shift my focus to the window and watch a small dark bird trying to perch on the too-narrow ledge.

  While my sight is occupied, my mind wanders to Nanny. I’m worried that she won’t be her normal cheeky self. I’m worried that she won’t be able to talk to me when she wakes up. I’m worried that she won’t be able to move her arms, or hug me. I’m worried that the Nanny that I know and love won’t be there anymore… at all.

  Ava must be able to sense my withdrawal, because she squeezes my hand slightly and gives me a small smile, trying to bring my focus back to Doctor Reid.

  “Do you have any questions?”
he asks.

  “When can I see her?”

  “You can see her now, just sit with her and talk to her. Remember, only one at a time.”

  The doctor stands, moving towards the door. He turns to Ava and Grayson and directs them both back to the uncomfortable plastic chairs that we sat in when we first arrived. He then asks me to follow him.

  My feet won’t move from the floor, and I’m frozen still.

  My mind is telling me to follow him, but my body is terrified of what I will see when I do.

  Ava turns to me and on tip toes places a light kiss on my lips. “Go, she needs you, and you’ll be fine.”

  I look in to her big brown eyes and wish that I could just stay here with her, I don’t want anything to change and I know that as soon as I see Nanny, everything will be different.

  Grayson claps me on the back and says, “We’ll be here waiting for you E.”

  I nod and slowly command my feet to move, following the doctor down the corridor, all the while praying to God that my Nanny is lying in the bed on the other side of the door.

  Ethan has been gone for just over an hour and each minute that passes makes me more and more anxious. I’m so worried about him. He seems so out of it. I’m so worried about Nanny too. I don’t want her to have lost any of that vibrant personality that makes her who she is.

  Grayson and I have been taking turns getting bad coffee - and tea for me - from a vending machine at the end of the hall. The drinks are awful, but at least it is giving us something to do.

  “How much longer do you think he’ll be?” Grayson asks.

  “I’m not sure but I’m so anxious.” A light shudder moves through my body.

  Gray puts his arms around my shoulders. “Me too. Don’t worry Ava, Nanny’s strong, if anyone can beat this she can.”

  I nod. I agree with him, but it doesn’t make this any easier to go through.

  “Let’s focus on something else and take our mind off things. How was Hawaii?”

  I turn to Grayson, grateful that he is trying to divert my attention and fill the slow ticking time. “Hawaii was fantastic. Filming went great and Ethan and I had a wonderful time. That was until my ex showed up.”

  Grayson raises his eyebrows, “Your ex?”

  I nod. “Yep, all the way from Australia. He was there for work and I literally bumped in to him, like physically bumped in to him, at the night club we were at. Ethan was less than pleased.”

  Grayson laughs. “I can imagine. He can be very passionate about things when it comes to you.”

  “Really?”

  He taps his finger to the end of my nose. “Yes really. Come on Ava; don’t tell me that you can’t see how much Ethan likes you. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone before.”

  A smile breaks across my face and Grayson grins back at me.

  “Don’t tell him I told you that, guy code and all.”

  “Guy code?” I smile.

  “Yep, guy code, I just broke it. Big time!”

  “Well thanks for breaking it and telling me that, I feel the same way about him.”

  Grayson smiles again showing his perfect teeth. “I’m well aware of that Ava, the two of you can’t keep your eyes off one another when you’re together, and the rest of us can’t help but notice. Seriously though, I’m so glad he has you now. He’s relied on himself for way too long. He needs someone to care about in his life. He’s got a lot to give Ava, he just doesn’t realise it. Be patient with him though, I know him and he’ll screw up. He’s not good at the whole relationship thing.”

  “You’re a good friend to him Grayson Adams,” I smile at him.

  Grayson looks down at his hands resting in his lap. “I look out for him because he hasn’t had anyone else to do that. He’s like a brother to me.”

  I throw my arm around his shoulder and give him a squeeze. “Well he is very lucky to have you. You mean the world to him.”

  Trying to lighten the mood I ask, “So when am I going to get back up on stage with you and play that tambourine again?”

  He laughs out loud. “You want to do it again? I thought you hated that. If looks could kill then I would have been dead that night!”

  “Damn straight I do. I had a blast, once I got in to it.”

  “Well let’s chat to E and see when we can arrange for the two of you to come to a gig. You know Ethan can sing don’t you?”

  I cock my eye brow and turn to stare at Grayson. “No, that’s a talent that he has kept hidden from me so far.”

  “Well he can, he’s got a great voice. Maybe we can get the two of you up together?”

  “Maybe we can. Let’s see what Ethan thinks.”

  “Let’s see what Ethan thinks about what?” I hear from behind me. Turning I see him striding towards us. Grayson and I stand and Ethan puts his hand straight out, taking mine and pulling me close, tucking me in to his side.

  “How is she?”

  “She’s sedated, so I just sat with her and held her hand. Told her a bit about Hawaii and kept her company. Not much else I can do.” Ethan’s face looks weary and tired, his features crumbled.

  He looks defeated.

  “The doctors will call me if there’s any change so they suggested that we head home and get some sleep, if that’s even possible,” he shrugs.

  “C’mon you two, I have my car here, I’ll take you home.” Grayson pulls out his keys and heads towards the elevators. As we wait for the elevator car to arrive, Ethan rubs my back up and down, up and down. It feels like he is drawing comfort from touching me, and I am certainly not complaining.

  We step in to the elevator and descend to the ground floor, making our way back to Grayson’s car.

  He navigates his Mustang through the LA traffic and pulls in to the palatial gates of Ethan’s home. I’ve never actually been inside before. This house intimidates the shit out of me. It’s huge and grand, and unlike anything that I’ve ever been to before.

  Ethan must sense my nerves. “You okay?”

  I put on my best smile and answer, “Yep.” He doesn’t need to be worrying about my insecurities at the moment.

  Truthfully, I’m terrified of seeing his mother.

  She scares me.

  After meeting her, I got the distinct impression that she felt I was beneath her and I’m sure she wouldn’t be happy to see me here with Ethan.

  I so hope she isn’t home.

  Grayson parks outside a large garage and we all make our way towards the house.

  Ethan opens the huge double doors and we enter an enormous foyer with a grand staircase that swirls to the next level. It has a wrought iron and wood balustrade that hugs the staircase as it rises to the sky. Huge chandeliers adorn the ceiling, and large gold-framed paintings cover the walls. Large intricately designed rugs cover the parquetry floors.

  This is stunning.

  Like something out of an interior design magazine.

  Everything is perfect, and everything has its place.

  I’m staring wide eyed at the ceiling when Ethan pulls my hand and tugs me to the right. “This way,” he says. “My wing of the house is down here.”

  His wing!

  Holy Shit!

  Ethan and Grayson are wandering down the hall with ease, while I’m awestruck. The wealth and luxury of this house - if you can call it that, because it’s more like a palace - is unlike anything I‘ve ever seen, and Ethan has grown up in this. To him this is nothing, to me this is surreal.

  It only serves to highlight the vast differences between us and when I come to that realisation, something inside my stomach twists.

  We turn yet another corner and come to another set of white glossy double doors.

  “This is my room,” Ethan says nervously and opens the door. He moves aside and gestures for me to enter. This space feels so peaceful. So different to the rest of the house that I’ve just seen.

  I can understand why Ethan still lives here even though he and his mother don’t get along.


  His room is predominantly white, with dark-wood furniture and silvery-grey accents. The floor and walls are all white, with heavy silver-grey drapes. His bed is a sleigh shape, huge in size. It is adorned with luxurious linen in the same silver and grey pallet, with at least twenty pillows gracing the headboard.

  I look up at Ethan, “I take it that you don’t make your own bed Ethan?” I raise my eyebrows and smile.

  “What makes you say that?” he says mocking offence.

  “I can’t imagine any guy having the patience to put all those pillows back on to the bed in such an orderly fashion.”

  “Guilty,” he smiles, holding his palms up. “Our Housekeeper – Rosa, makes my bed.”

  I nod in satisfaction. I thought so!

  This room feels stylish but warm and lived in. Cosy yet spacious.

  Grayson has made himself comfortable on the huge L-shaped black leather sofa that is situated near the large windows that open out to the breathtaking terrace. Looking beyond him, I can see the pool and landscaped gardens.

  A large area rug and a huge television define the sitting area of the room.

  There is another door to the right of the bed which I can only assume is the bathroom and dressing area.

  Ethan is looking at me anxiously, waiting for me to comment. I think he’s worried that seeing the opulence of his home will cause me to run to the hills, and in all honesty, a small part of me wants to do just that.

  “Ethan this is stunning, just gorgeous.” I don’t know how to articulate what I’m seeing, it’s beyond amazing.

  “Thanks. I’m glad you like it. Bathroom is through the door over there if you need it.”

  I nod and move to sit on the sofa with Grayson. This is all very overwhelming. After the flight and the hospital visit, I suddenly feel exhausted.

  Ethan picks up a phone at his bedside and asks for drinks and snacks to be brought down to his room. He looks slightly uncomfortable for having done that. “I don’t usually ask the cook to prepare food for me, but today I can’t think about doing it myself. He’s making pizza for us.”