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Forever Box Set

Page 29

by Wendy Louise


  Right now I really don’t know what to think.

  My emotions are running haywire.

  I need a break, and I need to go in to self-preservation mode. Ethan and I may not have been together anywhere near as long as Cole and I were, but this hurts a thousand times more. I need to protect my heart.

  “Liv, do you mind if I don’t come in to the studio today? I need some time to think. I’ve got your schedules printed up for you and I can make a few calls from home to tie up any loose ends. I’ll email Josh so he knows where everything is.”

  “That’s fine; I’m on top of everything for today. What am I going to tell Ethan when he realises you aren’t there?”

  “Just tell him I’m unwell and wanted to sleep it off.”

  “He won’t buy that.”

  The tears start to fall again. “Please Liv; just tell him I’m sick, I can’t face him right now.”

  “Okay, okay, I won’t say a word. For the record Sis, I think you need to talk to him. Ethan loves you and I can’t imagine him ever doing anything with Madeline. You need to hear him out.”

  I nod, I know she’s right, but here and now, I don’t think my heart could handle what he has to say. I need to steer clear and protect it.

  Olivia moves to get ready to leave for work and I make my way to my room feeling totally heartbroken, miserable and ill. I need to bury myself under the covers and cry.

  My lap top is sitting open on my bed. I didn’t turn it off last night before I went out with Ethan. I need to email Josh to let him know that I won’t be in today. I open up the email program and type quickly, letting him know that I’m unwell and where everything that I’ve left for Liv is.

  I close down all the programs until I arrive at Google. I was looking at photos of Ethan online yesterday afternoon. I shouldn’t even been checking them out, but I like to see what they’ve written. I think it’s a bit of my old tabloid fetish coming out. Ethan would kill me if he knew.

  I’ve promised him that I would always talk things out if I read anything in the press that upsets me, yet here I am running and hiding after a simple text message; but I’m too hurt right now to care either way.

  I type his name in to the search engine and press ‘Enter’. Immediately the latest photos and stories flood my screen.

  Ethan Drake seen leaving Madeline Rose’s mansion after late night rendezvous…

  And the next,

  Ethan moves on. Is Madeline the new flavour of the month?

  There are countless stories about Ethan being at Madeline’s house on Tuesday night. There are loads of photos of Ethan pulling into, and out of, her driveway, and of his car parked at her home. It’s definitely his Porsche, I’d recognise it anywhere.

  So he really was with her on Tuesday night after he cancelled with me.

  If he wasn’t sneaking around on me, then he would’ve just told me he was going over there. Even if it was to rehearse. Any doubt left in my mind has been erased. I feel stupid and hurt and so very angry at myself, and him.

  I stand and decide that I need to look out for myself. I pull my case down from the top of my walk-in robe and start to grab at the clothes on my hangers.

  I’m going home.

  Olivia will kill me, but she’s my sister so she’ll understand.

  Eventually.

  I empty my drawers and make my way to the bathroom to pack my toiletries. Right now I need to look after me and that means separating myself from this misery.

  I change in to jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, grab my passport and close up my luggage. Liv has already left so I write her a note, apologising and telling her where I am.

  I take one last look around the apartment to make sure I have everything and call a cab. I’ll get the next flight home and I won’t look back.

  Tears continue to prick the back of my eyes but I take deep breaths to hold them at bay. I pull up the handle of my luggage, grab my bag and head out the door, closing it behind me, running away and leaving behind every last piece of my shattered heart.

  I’m so fucking frantic.

  Frustrated…

  Worried…

  I don’t know what to do.

  Ava ran from me this morning without so much as a goodbye. She keeps sending my calls to voice mail and no one is answering the phone at the apartment. Liv promised me she would have Ava call me when she arrived home, but so far, nothing.

  Nothing!

  I am freaking the fuck out.

  I found my cell phone on Ava’s pillow with Madeline’s text message on the main screen. I know Ava saw it and I know she has misinterpreted it, and now I need to find her so I can fix it.

  I hadn’t planned on telling Ava about my sordid family history until after we had all had the discussion with my mother next weekend, but clearly this is a misunderstanding that needs to be rectified urgently. I should’ve told her in the first place, and now I’m so angry at myself for not doing just that.

  I feel like I’m going to be sick as I make my way to the office that Ava shares with Josh. If she would just give me five minutes I can clear all of this up.

  If I ever had any doubt about my feelings for Ava then this has erased that. I feel like the air I breathe has been sucked from my lungs, and my heart hurts in my chest.

  I find Josh on the phone when I enter the office, but no Ava. I point towards her chair and Josh covers the mouthpiece of the phone muffling our voices to whoever he is speaking to on the other end. “She called in sick,” he mouths back to me.

  “Fuck!”

  I storm my way down the hallway towards Olivia’s dressing room. She’s in the middle of being made up for the first scene we are shooting today.

  I take a deep breath and calm my voice, yelling is not going to help. “Liv, can I have a minute?”

  She looks to me with wide eyes and asks the make-up artist and hairdresser to give us a moment. They leave the room hastily, shutting the door behind them.

  “Where is she?” I ask, trying to mask the desperation in my voice.

  Olivia sighs. “Look Ethan, she came home and was incredibly upset. She thinks that you’re cheating on her with Madeline. She’s devastated.”

  I try to interrupt but Olivia holds her hand up to me and continues, “…I told her that you loved her and that I was sure there was an explanation. I urged her to talk to you. Give her some time and she’ll come around.”

  I run my hands through my hair, tugging on the ends in frustration. “There is an explanation. I am most definitely not with Madeline and I would never cheat on Ava. I have told her that so many times. I know how sensitive she is about that after that douchebag she went out with. She won’t take my calls; I’m going out of my fucking mind Liv.”

  “Look, you don’t owe me any explanations, I knew that it wasn’t what it seemed, but Ava has always felt that she wasn’t enough for you; that she didn’t fit in to your world. Seeing that message, no matter what it meant just made all those fears come to the surface. I know my sister and she’ll be tearing herself up over this.”

  I take a deep breath and try to hold the tears that are threatening the back of my eyes at bay. “What do I do to fix this Liv?”

  “Look, we’re due on set in half an hour. Let’s get the morning shoot out of the way and we can both head back to the apartment in the break to talk to her.”

  I really need to fix this now, but I can’t blow off the shoot this morning. “Okay, but I won’t wait any longer than that. I need to fix this.”

  Liv nods and places her hand on my shoulder. “She’ll come around, just be ready to tell her everything, you’ll need to reassure her. Ava can be a stubborn little thing at times. She believes what she sees, so you’re going to need to convince her otherwise.”

  “There is no room for doubt in my explanation Liv; I just need the chance to talk to her.”

  Olivia smiles, “You will.”

  I nod and thank her and head out the door towards my dressing room. I need to get ready for
the shoot so I can get out of here and back to Ava as quickly as possible.

  I run in to Madeline as I reach the door of my dressing room. “Good morning Ethan,” she says with a knowing smile.

  “Good morning,” I reply.

  This feels so weird. This is my sister, my twin sister. The concept is so foreign to me, to both of us, that there is an awkward air surrounding us.

  “You okay?”

  She nods. “Yes, I’m good. Still trying to process everything, but I’m good. I think getting the meeting with our mother over and done with will make a big difference. I feel quite anxious about that. Did you get my text?”

  It feels like a fist is squeezing my heart whenever I think about that fucking text message.

  “I did. What did you want to talk about?”

  “There were some photos on the paparazzi sites of you arriving and leaving my house on Tuesday night. They were blurry but it was clear that it was you. Of course Nanny wasn’t shown in any of them, so the story doing the rounds is that we’re an item now.”

  We both shudder. If the media only knew the truth.

  Jesus Christ, what if Ava saw those pictures?

  “Thanks for letting me know Madeline.”

  She shrugs, “No biggie. See you on set.”

  I turn to my dressing room and make my way to the bathroom, ready to get in to costume and get through this morning as quickly as possible.

  Liv and I stare down at the note on the dining table in disbelief. I feel like I’m about to faint and Olivia is swearing up a storm.

  Liv,

  I’m so sorry but I can’t stay. My heart is broken and I can’t face Ethan.

  I’m heading back home to give myself distance and to try and fix this for myself. I need to get along by myself without a man in my life; this whole mess just reminds me of Cole all over again. I will miss you more than you know. Not just living with you, but working with you. I loved working at the studio and I hate leaving you all like this. Please apologise to Josh and everyone else for me. I’ll be back once I know what I’m doing, but in the meantime remember I love you and I always will Sis.

  Love Ava X

  P.S. Please don’t tell Ethan where I am, I can’t talk to him right now.

  “I’m going to kill her,” Olivia says throwing the note back down to the table. “How could she just hop on a plane back home? We‘re talking a fourteen hour flight here, it’s not just a hop, skip and a jump away. ”

  She starts to cry.

  I want to cry, I want to scream, but my body won’t allow me to do anything but stare at the note on the table. I can’t move, I can’t breathe, and I can’t speak.

  Olivia grabs the phone and starts jabbing it with her fingers, punching numbers in to it. I manage to will my head to turn in her direction in time for her to start speaking.

  “Mum?” she says. “Has Ava called you? - I know, I know - No, she just left me a note, no explanation. She didn’t give Ethan a chance to tell her what happened - No Mum -No, it was a misunderstanding - Hamilton Island - Really? - Okay, well thanks for letting me know where she’s headed. Leave it with me, I’ll track her down - Love you too. Bye.”

  Olivia places the phone back on to the kitchen counter and turns to me. “She’s called my parents. Mum said she was really upset. She’s headed to Hamilton Island.”

  “Hamilton Island, what the fuck?”

  “Her best friend Kristy lives and works up there in the Whitsundays. Ava told Mum that she wanted to spend some time with Kristy so she is currently on a plane headed to Sydney and then Hamilton Island.” Olivia looks to the floor and shakes her head. “When my sister makes her mind up about something she follows through, that’s for sure.”

  “What the fuck do I do Liv?” I sigh, “We still have a few heavy days of shooting to get through. I can’t follow her to Australia yet and I can’t leave this undone. She won’t take my calls, my hands are fucking tied.”

  I sink to the couch and drop my face in to my hands. I won’t cry in front of Olivia, but I’m fighting hard to suppress the tears. It feels like my heart has been ripped from my fuckin’ chest.

  Liv sits down beside me and places her hand on my knee. I look up in to her eyes; she’s as distressed as I am.

  “Listen Ethan, I’ll keep calling her, she’ll take my call eventually. I’ll let her know that this was all a misunderstanding and we’ll go from there. I know it’ll be hard to stay here knowing that she’s hurting on the other side of the world, but we don’t have a choice. Mum will let her know that we’ve called too. One of us will get through to her. Have faith, but rest assured that I’m going to kill her when I see her next.”

  She pats my leg twice and stands, holding her hand out to me. “C’mon we have to get back to the Studio.”

  Just like that we both make to leave the apartment. Liv puts on her oversized sunglasses and sighs as she heads back to the car. I stand still watching her for a moment, willing my feet to move. I take a deep breath and put my Aviators over my eyes, realising that I’ve just left the remains of my broken heart scattered on the dining table next to Ava’s note.

  Paradise

  I snuggle under the soft cotton sheets with my iphone, and decide to listen to an old Mariah Carey album from the ‘90’s. It’s full of songs that sound the way I feel – heartbroken. This will be the soundtrack of my misery.

  I twist the ring that Ethan gave me around my finger. I can’t bring myself to remove it, or my bracelet.

  As Mariah sings I Don’t Wanna Cry, I hug my pillow to my chest and break down for the third night in a row. I cry for the memories Ethan and I have of yesterday, I cry for the heartbreak of today and I cry for the tomorrows that we will never get. I miss him to the point that my heart is hurting and my lungs are constricted with every breath.

  I’m staying with my best friend Kristy on Hamilton Island in Queensland. This is paradise. The beaches, the weather, the resorts, are spectacular. Kristy works on the island as a tour guide, taking tourists on day trips to Whitehaven Beach. Whitehaven is arguably the most beautiful beach in all of Australia. It is absolutely breathtaking, but its beauty is totally lost on me.

  Kristy insisted on me going on the tour with her yesterday. All I could think about was how much Ethan would love it and how much I would’ve loved to have taken him with me. How we could’ve made sandcastles, sand angels and drawn in the white grainy sand just like we did in LA.

  I feel so guilty for leaving without talking to him and Olivia, but my heart just wasn’t in any state to be discussing anything with either of them. I regret my haste, but now I’m on the other side of the world and there’s not much I can do about it.

  I’m considering staying up here with Kristy for a while. There are a number of jobs advertised on the island and this may be a good way to make a clean start. I don’t want to face my parents; they’ve already been asking too many questions. Liv and Ethan have filled my voice mail with messages, both telling me that I’ve misunderstood everything, but really, how much of a misunderstanding could it have been?

  Oh, and then there’s Cole.

  He keeps texting and leaving me messages too. It seems he has bought in to the media stories about Madeline and Ethan too, and is trying to step in and console me in my time of need.

  He is by far the last person I need to see right now.

  I feel like a coward for running away, I mean, I ran to the States after what happened with Cole and now here I am doing the same thing again. Only this time, my heart is shattered and beyond repair. I need to call Liv, but I can’t face her yet, I’ll do it when I’m ready.

  I burrow under my covers and pray for sleep to take me so I can escape to my dreams, where beautiful blue eyes and dirty blonde hair take centre stage.

  I can hear my cell phone ringing but I can’t find it. I must have fallen asleep with the music app playing last night and it has been lost in the bed. I finally locate it wrapped in the sheet beneath my leg. One look at the screen shows
that it’s Ethan again. My heart stops beating and I close my eyes. I can’t look at his breathtakingly beautiful face on the screen without breaking down. I hold the phone to my chest and wait for the call to stop.

  Eventually it does.

  I drop the phone to the bed and cover my eyes with both hands, breathing in and out. A moment later my voice mail signal chimes to let me know he has left yet another message. I can’t listen to his voice anymore, so I haven’t played any of the messages he has left for me in the last couple of days.

  I will need to call Olivia today, but that can wait until later. I can hear Kristy banging around in the kitchen so I pull myself from the bed and make my way to the bathroom to freshen up. After splashing my face with some water and cleaning my teeth, I go to find her.

  “Good Morning sleepy head,” she says. “Olivia has left you another message on my answering machine, would you call her back already?”

  “I will. I promise I’ll do it later today.” I acquiesce.

  “Please do Ava, she sounds frantic. Have you spoken to Ethan yet?”

  I just shake my head no. Kristy comes around the counter and takes my hands. “Ava, you’re miserable, just call him already.”

  “I can’t, not yet.” My voice comes out as a whisper.

  Kristy gives me a hug and turns back to the kitchen. “I won’t push you, but you need to do it eventually. Bacon and eggs okay for breakfast?”

  “Yep, that sounds great,” I reply, trying to muster up some excitement. I make my way to the fridge and grab out the carton of orange juice. I start to pour it into the two glasses that Kristy has taken from the overhead cabinet.

  “I’ve got two tours today, back to back,” she says, “… I’ll be out until early evening. Will you be okay?”

  I nod. “Yep, I’m going to lay out in the sun for a bit and then have a look on line to see if there are any job prospects for me.”

  “Well you know that you’re welcome here as long as you like. I’d love it if you stayed,” Kristy says with a smile, “….but first, I want you to get everything sorted out so you can move forward. Promise me you will?”

 

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