Forever Box Set

by Wendy Louise

  I nod.

  We finish our breakfast in comfortable silence, Kristy reading the paper and me staring out at the water thinking of how much I would love to be swimming out there with Ethan like we did in Hawaii.

  The sun is so hot today and it’s not even lunchtime yet. I think about reapplying my sunscreen and lying out for a bit longer, but I don’t want to add sunburn to the list of places on my body that are already in pain.

  I gather up my book, my phone and place my hat back on to my head. I grab the keys from my bag and make my way back to Kristy’s. I round the path and notice someone knocking on the door of her villa in the distance.

  “Can I help you?” I call.

  The person turns and my breath catches in my throat.

  Shit!

  It’s Cole.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask breathlessly.

  “Ava, your mum told me you were up here. I tried calling you and Kristy to tell you I was coming but your voice mail is full and Kristy’s answering machine didn’t pick up.”

  Why would my mum tell Cole where I was?

  I turned off the answering machine so that Ethan and Liv couldn’t leave any more messages and I’ve been ignoring my voice mail.

  Cole takes one look at my face and places his hands on my shoulders. “Hey, are you okay?”

  I feel my face crumble and I break down. Not what I want to do in front of him of all people, but whenever anyone shows any sympathy, that’s my standard reaction. Cole pulls me to his chest and rubs my back, “C’mon, let’s go in.”

  He takes the keys from my hand and opens the door, ushering me inside. He pulls me to the sofa and keeps his arm around my shoulders. “I take it this is all because of Ethan and Madeline?”

  I don’t want to discuss this with him. After what he did to me, he has no right to bad- mouth Ethan for doing the same thing.

  “Look Cole. I don’t want to talk about this with you okay?”

  “Okay, I won’t push, but I’m here if you need me.”

  “Why are you here?”

  “Ava, I made no secret of the fact that I fucked us up royally and I regret it more than you could know. I’ve been waiting for that asshole to stuff up so I can make a play for you again, so here I am. I love you, I told you that in Hawaii and I still do. I would do anything to have another chance with you.”

  I can’t deal with this right now.

  My heart is broken in to millions of tiny pieces and Cole is declaring his hand. Not what I need right now. I need to get out of the villa and away from here; I can’t be in here with him.

  In my haste to get him out of here I suggest, “Let’s go grab some lunch.”

  “Cool, I’m pretty hungry, didn’t get anything to eat on the flight here,” he responds patting his stomach

  “Let me take a quick shower and change out of my bikini, and then we can head out. I’ll be ten minutes max.”

  “I’ll be here waiting,” he says with a cocky smile.

  I rush to my closet and grab the first sundress that I can find, pulling it from the hanger. I turn on the shower and stand under the flow of water letting the sunscreen wash away from my skin. I hear the phone ringing in the other room. I also hear it stop.

  A wave of unease washes over me.

  Please don’t let Cole have answered it.

  I turn off the water in record time and grab a towel. I wrap it around my body and open the bathroom door, moving as fast as my feet will allow to the lounge area.

  That’s when I hear Cole on the phone telling whoever is on the other end that he is here now and is helping me get through everything.

  Please God let it be Olivia or my parents, anyone but Ethan.

  As Cole says, “Fuck off asshole, don’t threaten me,” to whoever is on the other end of the line, I know exactly who he is talking to.

  That sick feeling returns to my stomach - tenfold.

  No matter what has happened, the last thing I want is for Ethan to think that I have run straight back in to Cole’s arms.

  God what a fucking mess this all is.

  I turn back towards my bedroom as the tears start to flow in tracks down my cheeks again. Will they ever stop?

  I resolve myself to the fact that I need to call Liv and set this straight. She would be livid if she thought Cole was back in my life, and I’m sure Ethan is going to make a beeline to her to share this news.

  The last thing I wanted was any involvement from Cole and now he has gone and planted himself firmly in to the thick of things.

  If it was humanly possible to shove my fist through the phone and pummel Cole’s face until it is unrecognisable, then I would have done it. How dare he try to muscle his way back in to Ava’s life after what he did to her. I’m fucking pissed and so damn frustrated that I can’t just jump on a flight and get to her.

  Two more days! Two more days!

  Two more days has become my mantra.

  Two more days until I can go to her.

  We wrap a heavy stretch of filming tomorrow and we have a four day hiatus. I’m on the first available flight out.

  Ava of course has no idea, because she still won’t take my calls.

  Damn frustrating female that she is!

  I throw my gym bag on to the back seat of the jeep and place my phone in to the bluetooth, dialling Grayson as I do.

  “Hey E,” he answers.

  “I’m on my way Gray; I’ll pick you up in five.”

  “See you then,” and he’s gone.

  I round the corner to Grayson’s apartment and he’s waiting out front for me. I pull up and he climbs in, tossing his gym bag next to mine.

  He unscrews the cap on the bottle of water that he is holding and takes a large swig. “What’s up?” he asks as he wipes the back of his hand across his mouth.

  “Nothing, absolutely nothing,” I reply. “You?”

  “Lots and nothing,” he replies.

  Not even Grayson’s trademark answer to that question can bring a smile to my face today. I shake my head and flick on the indicator, readying to pull the car away from the curb.

  “So have you spoken to her?” he asks cautiously.

  I shake my head and glance his way before returning my eyes to the road. “She still won’t answer my calls man. I’m booked on a flight out the day after tomorrow. I just need to get to her and fix this fuckin’ mess.”

  “Has Liv heard from her?”

  “She won’t talk to her either. She’s cut herself off from all of us and only speaks to her folks. I know she’s safe but I also know that her dickwad ex is with her.”

  “What the fuck! How do you know that and what’s he doing there?”

  “He answered when I called yesterday. Dickhead told me she couldn’t talk to me because she was taking a shower. Tried to tell me that he was taking care of her now and to back off.”

  “Fuck that E.”

  “I know, I threatened him. Told him I’d smash his face in if he touched her.”

  Grayson raises his hand to me and I slap his palm, giving him a high five. “How’d he take that?”

  “Told me to fuck off, stop threatening him and then he hung up.”

  “Jesus Christ E, this is one twisted mess,”

  “You’re telling me.”

  Gray and I make the rest of the journey to the gym in silence.

  I called Gray this morning to see if he wanted to spar with me in the boxing ring for a bit. I need to expel some of this frustration before I see Ava. If I’m sparring with my best friend then I’ll show some restraint. I couldn’t trust myself with a stranger today. I’d probably picture Cole’s face and beat the shit out of the poor fucker.

  We grab our bags and head towards the gym. Gray claps me on the shoulder. “C’mon man, let’s get rid of some of this aggression. You look like you’re about to combust.”

  I love the easy friendship that we have. Grayson just gets me. He always has. I don’t need to tell him too much before he gets where my head
’s at. We’ve always been on the same wavelength and he has always been there for me, ever since we met.

  I still haven’t told him the news of my little family yet but I will. I just need to get to Ava first. Gray hasn’t asked me too much about what sent Ava packing. He’s seen the news stories of Madeline and me so I think he’s assumed that’s what’s caused it. He doesn’t push me though; he knows I’ll talk when I’m ready.

  Tomorrow night is the big reveal to my mother. She is going to be so pissed. I’m worried for Nanny. I don’t want my mother to take her anger out on her. I’ve begged Nanny not to come but she wouldn’t hear of it. She feels like she started all of this and she wants to be there to help fix it. Really, this was all started when my parents made some stupid decisions over 23 years ago.

  We push our way through the revolving door of the boxing gym and we head towards the change rooms. I can’t wait to punch something!

  I rush to answer the doorbell to greet Nanny, Grant and Madeline. I have told my mother that I want to have dinner tonight but I haven’t told her who is joining us. I know we are ambushing her, but if anyone can handle it, the great Elizabeth Drake can.

  Nanny enters and I bend to kiss her cheek. She places her hand on my face. “Hi sweetheart.”

  Grant and Madeline both look really nervous. We exchange greetings and I hand their coats to Rosa, who dutifully hangs them in the hallway closet.

  I usher them all through to the terrace. Tonight is going to be hard enough so I wanted a more relaxed dinner than our formal dining room can afford. The chef is going to grill steaks for us on the BBQ. My mother will hate that, but it is what it is.

  Once everyone has a drink in hand I move to get my mother. I hear her heels clack on the marble floor so I wait at the opening of the main room that leads out to the terrace. I don’t want her to face everyone alone. No matter what she has done, she is still my mother, and I feel some need to stand with her through this.

  “Ethan sweetheart,” she says theatrically as she kisses me on each cheek. “I’m so pleased that you wanted to have dinner tonight, it’s been way too long dear.”

  “Good evening mother. We’re not alone, we have guests.”

  She looks at me quizzically and then her gaze moves towards the large windows that lead outside. “Really, who?”

  I take her by the elbow and steer her to the opening of the terrace. I feel her falter when she sees them all standing there. Her face blanches and I feel a tremble move through her body. She recovers herself quickly and puts on that damn fake face that I hate again before moving to greet everyone.

  “Grace, how are you?” she says as she gives Nanny her customary double kiss. She turns to Madeline, “Madeline sweetheart what a lovely surprise.”

  She turns to Grant and its then that I see the way they both look at each other. What a moment to realise that my parents are both madly in love with one another. You can see it in every fibre of their being. “Grant…” she breathes.

  Grant moves forward and places his hands on my mother’s shoulders. He bends and kisses her once on each cheek. They pull back and gaze at each other for a long moment before my mother breaks the silence. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening?”

  I mean really, can she be that obtuse.

  “Let’s sit,” Grant suggests.

  I see my mother move on shaky legs to the table, asking Rosa for a martini as she passes. I figure that I set this up so I need to be the one to start.

  “Mother, I asked Grant, Madeline and Nanny to join us for dinner because we all need to talk. We know Mother.”

  Her gaze locks on to mine. “Know what?” she says flippantly, swishing her hand through the air and fiddling with the silverware.

  “Elizabeth,” Grant says, “...they know everything.”

  All colour drains from my mother’s face and I prepare myself to launch out of my chair to catch her if she faints. Her breathing is shallow and her hands are shaking. She chokes out, “How?”

  “That would be my fault,” Nanny says. The glare that my mother gives her gives new meaning to the phrase if looks could kill.

  “After the stroke I felt that I couldn’t leave this unresolved. The children needed to know the truth and I couldn’t leave this earth knowing what I did and not telling them.”

  My mother drains her martini and looks at each of us. She turns her focus to Nanny and Grant. “We promised that this wouldn’t come out, we signed papers. We’ve made it through 23 years just fine, this is just going to stir the pot. Imagine if the tabloids get hold of this.”

  Really! That’s the first thing she’s worried about.

  Why am I not surprised?

  I chance a glance at Madeline and she looks wounded.

  “Stop Elizabeth,” Grant says. “This whole mess came about in the first place because we were so damn worried about the tabloids and our careers. Both of us have done very well, but at what price? I’ve missed out on Ethan and you’ve missed out on Madeline. We’ve paid our dues, now it’s time for us to fix this.”

  My mother‘s whole demeanour changes when Grant talks to her. He has some sort of calming influence over her. She looks to me, and then to Madeline. “I’m so sorry,” she says as tears begin to track down her cheeks.

  In all my 23 years, my mother has never apologised to me for anything. This is a genuine, heartfelt apology and I am dumfounded. I didn’t think she was capable of this much emotion, unless she was acting out a scene.

  Before I can stop myself I rise out of my chair and walk to her. I drop to my knees in front of her and wrap my arms around her waist. “I’m so sorry Ethan, I’m so sorry,” she repeats over and over as she hugs me back. We stay like this for some time until I pull back and look to Nanny, who is smiling at me through her tears.

  My mother turns to Madeline. “I’ve always been so proud of you Madeline. I’ve followed your career. You remind me so much of myself at your age. You’re beautiful and very talented and I’m so proud to be your mother.” She looks to me, “I’m proud to be the mother of both of my beautiful and talented children.”

  Madeline moves towards our mother and they embrace. Madeline is crying now too and our mother is smoothing her hair while she cries on her shoulder.

  I realise in this moment that my mother has been carrying a very heavy burden around on her shoulders all these years. The threat of this coming out has obviously taken its toll. It certainly had a large impact on our relationship. It’s like the weight has been lifted for her and she can appreciate what’s in front of her for the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time ever.

  I look to Nanny and wink at her. She smiles at me, knowing that she has done the right thing in revealing this secret to all of us.

  As everyone dries away their tears and takes their places at the table, our chef appears and starts to prepare the steaks. We all raise our glasses and toast to family. I’m not sure what we will all do from here, but rest assured for the first time ever, I feel like I’m part of something good.

  Nanny

  I barely slept a wink last night. I was too pumped after dinner, and too anxious about going to Ava today. I’ve packed and am waiting for Grayson to turn up.

  He’s taking me to LAX.

  My phone beeps with a text. Gray is out front waiting for me. Butterflies are taking flight in my stomach. I hope I’m doing the right thing.

  I throw my bags in to the trunk of the car and settle in to the passenger seat, fastening my seat belt.

  “You ready for this?” Gray asks.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be,” I reply, not feeling the conviction of my words but putting on a brave face for Grayson’s sake.

  We are half way to LAX when my cell phone goes. I don’t recognise the number.

  I press to answer the call, “Hello?”

  “Ethan, its Doctor Reid at Cedar Sinai Hospital.” My heart drops to my stomach.

  “Oh God doc, is it Nanny?”

  “I�
��m afraid so. She was brought in an hour ago. She’s suffered a bad one this time Ethan. You need to get here.”

  Tears start to well and I feel like someone is standing on my chest. I can’t breathe and I can’t speak. I push the words out past the lump residing in my throat. “I’m on my way.”

  Gray turns his head to mine, looking worried about what I’m about to say. “Nanny had another stroke, a bad one, she’s back at Cedars, and I need to get there.”

  Gray immediately turns the car around and pushes down on the accelerator. I’m terrified of what I’m going to find when I get there this time. He said it was a bad one, what does that mean?

  My new mantra, please let Nanny be okay, please let Nanny be okay starts to go through my head.

  But this time, I have a bad feeling…..

  The sound of my cell phone ringing at two in the morning wakes me. It seems to be ringing non-stop these days. I grab it from the bedside table and squint at the bright screen to see that Olivia is calling. She’s usually pretty good at working out the difference in the time zones, so I’m surprised that she’s calling me now.

  We had a very long conversation a couple of days ago and ironed everything out. She still wants me to call Ethan so he can explain the misunderstanding, but I just can’t yet.

  I press to answer the call, yawning as I place the phone to my ear.

  “Ava?” she says frantically.

  Something’s up.

  “What’s wrong Liv? It’s two in the morning here.”

  “I’m sorry to call and wake you but I have some bad news Sis.”

  My heart drops to my stomach, oh God, what if something’s happened to Ethan.

  The words are out before I finish the thought. “Is Ethan okay?”

  I hear Olivia take a deep breath down the phone line. “Sis, Nanny Grace passed away today. She suffered another stroke. This was a bad one. They couldn’t bring her out of it.”