Bad Medicine (Wolf Love Book 4)

by Red L. Jameson

  But I stand there and stare.

  “Hi, Ryder.” She’s nervous. Her voice is small. “I—I was hoping I could talk to you.”

  Talking.

  Shit.

  That can’t be good.

  I take out my keys from my black leather jacket, unlock the door and let her in without a word. I don’t know what the fuck to say. Baby, don’t you ever fucking leave me again. Sound possessive and insane? You bet. So I won’t say that.

  I set my backpack and helmet on the kitchen table, then open the fridge, grabbing two beers. After opening one, I hand it to her then open the other.

  She’s daintily sipping, looking so feminine and gorgeous. I’m wondering if I’ll accidentally crush the bottle in my grasp, because gripping the fucker seems to be the only thing that’s reining in my need to grab her and throw her in my room, locking the door and telling her I never want her to leave again. I’m kind of crazy right now, and I don’t want her to know that. I wouldn’t really do those things. Not in a million years. It’s just…I missed her. When she left, she took a part of me, a part of me I didn’t know was alive any longer. But she made me that way. Alive again.

  “I—I’m so sorry, Ian.”

  Well, I’m glad she’s using my first name. It gives me hope when I probably shouldn’t have any.

  “I’m sorry I ran away like that.”

  “I understand.”

  She glances up, looking at me for a long time, but then back at her beer. “I couldn’t stand the fact that you’d look at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you feel sorry for me.”

  I slam my beer down, foam splattering everywhere, but I don’t fucking care. I’m so pissed. “I’m not feeling sorry for you.”

  She’s looking at me like I’ve turned into a werewolf or something, complete with a snarling muzzle.

  I try to tame my temper, but I’m so fucking angry. And hurt.

  “As much as I understand why you did what you did. I don’t understand why you ran for two fucking weeks. Not a fucking word.”

  “I was scared.” She slams her beer down and steps closer to me. Her chin raised. Her eyes flashing. This is the woman I know and love.

  “Scared of what? What have I ever done to scare you, out of everybody on this earth? You have to know I’d do anything for you. I’d never hurt you—”

  “No, you’d never hurt me. I know that. But people don’t mean to hurt others and it still happens.”

  “Yeah, I’m an idiot. A big one sometimes. I’ll make mistakes. But what could I have possibly done in that moment to make you that scared of me? Of me?” I slam a fist against my chest.

  Her face twists. Clear-cut pain slashes her pretty features. Tears surface. But she juts her chin further out. “That you would never look at me the same. That you would pity me. Do you have any fucking clue what it’s like to be pitied?”

  “Yeah,” I whisper. “I grew up dirt poor with a grandmother who would lock my sister and me in a cellar to starve us. Try telling that to people and have them look at you the same. Look at you like you’re the one who fucked up, not my sick grandmother.” I take a big breath. “There’s only been two people who I told my story to who looked at me like I was just a person afterwards: Adam and you. So why the fuck do you think I would do anything but look at you like the person I already know? You handled my past with care and concern. No pity. Why wouldn’t you let me do the same?”

  “Because what happened to me is different,” she yells.

  I nod. “Yeah, it is. But you never gave me the chance to show you that I wouldn’t pity you. That all I wanted to do is show you the same care and concern you showed me.”

  “But—but—men don’t—don’t you think of me as different now? Dirty?” Her voice cracks and I’m there, right in front of her, cupping her cheek, making her look straight at me.

  “Never, baby. I know you. I know your heart. It’s pure. Like you. Nothing can change that. No one can change that. Not anything that anyone’s done to you will ever change that. I will never look at you with anything other than…God, you’re perfect, Asha. I thought that before and I’ll always think that.”

  A tear escapes her dark eye, but I catch it and wipe it away.

  She sniffs. “Really? You think of me like that?” She takes off her glasses and sets them on the table. “But I wear glasses. I’m—I’m curvy. I’m a total geek.”

  I shake my head. “Love those things about you. Why else would I have fallen for you so hard, so fast? Baby, your light, or whatever you want to call it, it shines. When people meet you, they see how you shine. When you’re at work, you shine. You just shine and everyone wants to be close to you because you make them warm. You make them secure. Not a lot of people can do that. But you do it with ease. With grace. The way you shine made it so all I could do was think about you. I had a massive crush on you before we kissed in that janitor’s closet. And I’ve never had a crush before.”

  “I had a massive crush on you. But I did have a crush before. It was fifth grade and Brock LeSabre moved to our town. Oh, he was so cute for a little fifth-grader.”

  I laugh. “I’m jealous as fuck about a fifth-grader.”

  She smiles. “I missed your swearing. And I stopped having the crush when he talked.”

  “Not as smart as you?”

  She bites her lip. “I didn’t know it then, but now I do. I didn’t like him because he wasn’t you.”

  I chuckle. “Ah, good line. That’s like movie good.”

  “I’m pretty sure I stole it from some chick-flick.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Her smile crumbles. “Am I? Even after everything you know—”

  “Doesn’t change a fucking thing, Asha. I mean, I wish you had been the one to tell me and not your brother, and I wish I had said something to stop him, and I wish I hadn’t made that deal with you to make you talk to him, and—”

  She places her fingers over my mouth. “Shut up.” She smiles. “Did you really want me to talk to him because you—”

  I talk around her long digits. “Every time you brought him up, I saw such sadness in you. Such…longing. Like you missed him. A lot. But I was an idiot for interfering.”

  She shakes her head, gliding her fingers to my cheek. “You pushed me before I was ready, but I think it was good for me to be pushed. I didn’t know that Hon had been told not talk to me. I thought it was all him. And thanks to you, we’re now talking.” She smiles. “I guess you and my brother have gotten really close while I was gone? He’s living here now?”

  I smile and shrug. “I missed you. He kind of talks like you do.”

  “You were substituting me for my brother?”

  “I’m not proud of that and don’t you dare tell him.”

  She chuckles. “He’s not coming over, is he? If he is, can we kick him out? Have the place just for us?”

  My heart is beating so loud I’m sure she can hear it. God, she’s making me so fucking happy.

  “Did you have something in mind for just the two of us?” I ask, hoping. “In the apartment? Alone?”

  She seductively saunters close, her hand running through my hair. “Ryder—”

  “So we’re back to Ryder?”

  “For this, yes.”

  “Okay.”

  “Ryder…it’s time I lost my virginity.”

  “Oh, baby.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six - Asha

  We’re in his bedroom. I’m not even sure how we got here, but we’re kissing and touching and laughing. I take off his black scrub shirt, my hands hungrily roaming over his tattoos, his scars, his muscles.

  “Ryder.”

  “I missed you so much,” he says between our kisses.

  “I missed you.”

  “Don’t leave me again, baby.”

  “Okay.”

  “I mean it. I’m tying you up.”

  I laugh but then stop. “For our first time, you’re tying me up?”


  He gives me a wicked grin. “Nah. But afterwards…”

  “As long as I still get to tie you up.”

  He leans down and kisses me, so hard, needy and pushy. His tongue in my mouth. His body pressed against mine. He reaches down and inside my skirt. Before I even catch on to what he’s doing, he’s lowering my panties.

  And I love it. My heart beats faster, my pussy is crying out for this. I’m already liquid for him.

  He’s pushing my underwear down, and I kick them off along with my ballet slippers. Then his hand cups my sex.

  “Oh.”

  He moans, his fingers soft against my folds as he explores me. “You’re wet.”

  “You’re hard.”

  “I’m glad you noticed.” He presses right on my clit, making me whimper. “I want you so much.” Then he jerks his head away, his hands back at his sides. “But we need to take this slow.”

  “Do we?”

  He licks his lips, looking at mine. “I—I forget.”

  I laugh.

  “Jesus, Asha, I need to think, but I can’t as soon as I touch you.”

  I smile and bite my lip as I, as sexily as possible, take off the lavender cardigan I’m wearing. I like the camisole my sister bought me for this. She and Bit took me shopping, trying to figure out the perfect outfit that would say “I’m sorry I ran away for two weeks to get my shit together” and “I’m going to jump your bones.” I’m so glad Lona talked me into this black satin and lace contraption. Ian’s looking at it like he thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Or maybe he’s looking at my breasts like that. At Bit’s suggestion, I’m not wearing a bra. I feel a bit naked, but with Ian, I love this feeling.

  His nostrils are flaring, his chest is rising and falling fast. God, I love watching him get turned on.

  I unzip the flared skirt. It’s so pretty and I wasn’t sure if it was really me or not, until I tried it on. I like how girly it makes me look. Since it’s all black with horizontal panels of black, sheer organza, it’s also sexy. But I’m happy to take it off and watch Ian’s warm eyes darken while looking at my pussy.

  Before I came over to his apartment, I shaved everything I could, put pretty-smelling lotion on and perfume, and prayed Ryder would think I’m still sexy.

  He does. His mouth’s partially open. Behind his pants, his erection is growing. His breath is even faster.

  I take off the camisole, even though I think he likes it, but I want to be naked with him.

  And I want him naked too.

  I walk forward, but he stops me, a palm out.

  “Let me look at you.” His voice is surprisingly quiet. Strained-sounding, but soft. Awed. He bends to his knees in front of me, carefully holding my hips. His head is even with my breasts, but he bends his neck, his forehead on my upper-stomach. “I worried I’d lost you.”

  “I worried I’d lost you.”

  He glances up, shaking his head. “You never have to worry about that, Asha. You got it. You have my heart.”

  Leave it to the big man to say something that makes me crumble inside, that makes me feel humble, and hope I’m good enough for what he’s giving me.

  “And you have mine.”

  He leans his forehead against me again. “Do I?”

  I lower to my knees quickly, holding his cheek. “I’m so sorry I haven’t said it before now. But, yes, Ian. I—I’m falling for you. You have my heart. I’m yours if you’ll have me.”

  He kisses me. His smooth skin against my breasts. His tattoos under my hands.

  When he pulls back, he’s smiling. “And I’m yours.”

  I wrap my arms around his neck. “Mine.”

  “Damn straight.”

  I think we both meant to kiss each other sweetly and try to take our time. But suddenly, with my bare breasts against his flesh, I can’t stand the fact that he still has his scrub pants on. He takes off his boots and pants with my help and I’m hovering over him on the floor. I straddle him and try to lower myself onto him when he catches me.

  “Not on the floor, baby.”

  I’m not sure how but he’s picking me and himself up off the ground. He’s so strong.

  “But I don’t mind.” I’m in his arms while he walks to the bed.

  “I do. I’m not going to have our first time be on the floor. There’s plenty of time for floor sex later.”

  “Promise?” I ask as he sets me on the bed.

  He lies next to me, nodding. “Yeah.”

  I have a hand in his hair, the other on his chest, loving that I’m touching him again. “We’re going to have sex, Ryder.”

  He frowns. “I’m going to make love to you.”

  I arch closer, my breasts touching him again. “How do you know exactly what to say? I get more and more turned on with everything you say.”

  He smiles, takes me by my hips and turns us so I’m straddling his waist. “Luck?”

  I push against his big chest, lifting myself so I’m sitting on him. “I doubt that. I think it’s because you’re perfect.”

  He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m going to ruin that image then.”

  “Yeah? How are you going to do that?”

  He latches on to my nape, pulling me down for a hard kiss. His mouth is urgent, his body too. His hand is on my breast, caressing, finding my nipple and rolling it between his thumb and finger. He’s moaning and starts rocking his hips.

  I pull away, letting him kiss down my neck as I reach behind me, straining then finding his cock. He’s so hard. So big. From where I’m sitting, this odd angle, I can’t quite take him in my hand, but I rub up and down, trying to time it to his thrusts.

  After he licks around my nipple and sucks it in, I moan.

  “Asha…sit on my face.”

  I look down at him. “What?”

  He doesn’t answer but takes me by hips again, adjusting his body so his head is between my legs. After wrapping his arms around my thighs, he urges me down. I’m watching him as I lower. He licks my clit, and I whimper. He licks and licks until I start to rock my hips against him.

  “Ryder…this isn’t ruining my perfect image of you.”

  He chuckles which feels really good against my sex.

  “Oh, baby…”

  He moans and his tongue is back on me, laving, lapping.

  “Mmm, more.”

  His finger traces my opening.

  “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  He inserts the tiniest bit of his finger and I’m suddenly crazy, rocking against him, lowering myself, taking his finger deeper.

  I think he inserts another finger because I’m feeling stretched and it feels so good. “Ryyyyyyydeeeeeer.”

  Is that another finger? I’m so full, almost to a point where things feel too much, almost overwhelming, but with every lick of his tongue it goes away. There’s only pleasure pulsing through me, such intense pleasure. Beautiful.

  I’m rocking against him and realizing my orgasm is calling out to me, so I heft myself away from his tongue and fingers, scurrying down his body.

  “What are you doing, babe?” His voice is rough, just the way I like it. “I wasn’t done.”

  “It’s time.”

  He sits up a little, wiping his mouth. “You sure?”

  “I need you, Ryder. I need you so bad.” And I do. My breasts ache to be against his chest, my stomach against his, my pussy ready for him.

  I’m finally back down to his erection, taking it in hand.

  “Wait. Wait.”

  I look up, frustrated he would say this. “Please, Ian.”

  “Baby, kiss me first.”

  I smile and reach up, pressing my tongue against his lips. I’m inside him, thrusting and frantic, my need for him making me nearly want to growl.

  He kisses the shell of my ear. “Get me wet. Slide your pussy up and down my cock.” He adjusts himself then lowers me to sit on him.

  I moan and start to grind. “So good.”

  He finds my
clit and circles around it, making me rock even faster.

  “So, so good.”

  “Yeah, baby.”

  I open my eyes and look down at him. “It’s good for you too, right? You’re not just saying that.”

  He stops me and kisses my nose. “I would never just say that, Asha. This is so good for me. I just hope I can last long enough. But if I don’t, we can do it again.”

  “Oh-ho-ho, we’re doing this a lot.”

  He smiles and kisses me sweetly. He’s tender and gentle and he’s making me fall in love with him. Not because he’s a considerate lover. But because he’s him. He’s Ryder. He’s sweet, kind, funny as hell, intelligent, and such a beautiful man. And all mine.

  He caresses my breast, my clit, and I sit up on him. I feel so good. I can’t help but touch myself. I cup my other breast, run a hand through my bun, removing all the bobby pins, letting my hair go wild and free.

  And I can’t wait one second longer.

  “Now, baby,” I moan. “Please.”

  “You do it. And stop if it hurts.”

  I smile down at him as I take his cock. Still looking at him, I lift up. He’s looking at me. Only my eyes. I’ve made his length slippery but I hold firm and find my opening, still looking at him. He’s circling my clit when I lower myself. I’m amazed at the sensation.

  “Oh.”

  He smiles.

  I lift up and down and try it again. “You’re inside me,” I say gleefully.

  He winces in that “I don’t want to argue with you, but…” kind of way and glances down his body, so I do too.

  I don’t have even two inches of him inside. I have another nine or more to go.

  “Well, that’s disappointing.” I sigh. “I thought we were having sex.”

  He sits up, holding my hips still, ensuring he’s not deeper in me. “We are, baby. And it’s good.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “You made noises like it was good.”

  “It is. But—”

  “Then let’s keep doing it.” He smiles and kisses me. Holding my hips, he lays down again, hiking me higher on his stomach. “Kiss me and rock into me. You’ll take more as you’re ready.”

  “How do you know?” I ask as I lean forward, hovering over him.

  “I don’t. I’m hoping.”