Save Me, Daddy: Rainbow Room Book 1

by L. Michael

  “Okay, let's go. I just need to remember where I put it.”

  “What?” My face fell until he realized that Des was laughing. “You´re Uncle Meanie. You know where it is.”

  “Kitchen? No, wait, my office. Or was it at my apartment? No, I think I left it behind the bar. No. No, I remember leaving it in the storeroom.”

  “Deeeeeessssssss!” I whined impatiently. Surprises were fun. Well, when you get them, it was fun. If someone hid them from you, that was just torture. Plan old torture!

  “Patience, sweet boy.”

  “You said that before I talked to Ray. That was hours ago!” Des led me through the kitchen and back into the small hallway. When Des opened the door, I immediately glanced around but couldn't find anything that looked like a surprise. Frowning, I looked at Des. “You do have a surprise, right? You're not mocking me.”

  “Aw, come on, sweet boy. As if I could ever do something like that to you.” Des laughed and ruffled my hair. Then he grabbed my shoulders and turned me, so I was facing the small sofa next to the door. On the table in front of it was a basket and a huge present. Blinking, I stared at it before I looked at Des again.

  “That´s…all for me?”

  “Yes, sweet boy. All for you. Go on. Have a look at the basket then open your present.”

  Hugging the T-Rex to my chest, I slowly walked over to the table and peeked into the basket. “Bath toys!” There were lots of them. Fishes, boats, sharks… Forgetting the wrapped present, I jumped on the couch and dug into the basket. “A dolphin!” It was cute, with a smile and a motor that would make him swim through the water. I felt the couch move as Des sat down next to me and smiled at him before I dug into the bath toys again. There were so many of them! I gasped when I found a turtle, dropped the T-Rex into my lap, and hugged the turtle instead. “I love it!”

  “That's from our Daddy and Littles group.”

  “Wait. What?” I stared at Des for a second, before I looked back at the basket. I´d never been to the group, and the only people I knew were Darrel and Josh. But I never met any of the others. “But… why?”

  “Because we care for each other, and Josh wanted to do something nice for you.”

  “Oh.” I looked at all the toys again. They were so cute, and there were so many of them. “Will you tell them, “thank you” from me?”

  “Of course.” Des smiled at me, and then he pointed at the wrapped package. “This is from me.”

  Carefully I put my precious turtle back in the basket and got on my knees to reach the package. It was not only huge but also heavy. I unwrapped it gently and gasped when I saw the picture on the box. The picture showed three cubes that looked like little aquariums. “What’s this?”

  “It's for your zoo. You can fill the cubes with water and then add sea animals.”

  “Wow.” Blinking, I stared at the picture, tears blurring my sight. Without thinking, I turned around and threw my arms around Des. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  “You are so welcome, sweet boy. You just have to promise me that I can come over some time and play with you.”

  “Yes! You're the best, Uncle Des. You can come over and play anytime you want.” I hugged him before I sat back and just stared at the picture again, already picturing how it would fit in with my zoo.

  “We just need to make sure that the sharks have a separate aquarium. Or they're going to eat the other fishies.” Des poked me in the side, and I giggled. “Yum . Yum. Yum.”

  “Nooo! I´m not a fishie.”

  “Yeah?” With his hands, he made chomping motions and giggling I scrambled away from him. “But this turtle looks delicious.”

  “No! Not my turtle!” I squealed and scrambled to my feet, still laughing. Uncle Des was so silly. He started to hum the Jaws soundtrack and followed me.

  “Du Duh. Du Duh. Then, I have to eat you.”

  Squealing, I started to run for the door, Des close behind, humming the Jaws theme again. I rushed through the small hallway and the kitchen and burst into the bar. “Daaaaaddy! Help!”

  “Slow down, Peanut.”

  “Here I come. Big shark is going to eat the turtle. Yummy turtle!”

  “Is going to eat the turtle. Yummy turtle!” Des exclaimed, and when I turned my head to look how close he was, I ran straight into a table. With a huff, I fell back on my ass and blinked, surprised.

  “Ouch.”

  “Seriously, Des?” Daddy asked while Ray chuckled. Then Daddy was in front of me and gently stroked my cheek. “Baby, did you hurt yourself?”

  I shook my head and looked around the floor.

  “I’m ok, Daddy.” I´d dropped the turtle and my T-Rex when I fell, but they were both okay. I leaned forward, grabbed them, and hugged them tight to my chest. “Look, they’re okay, too.”

  "Sam. I´m sorry!” Des knelt beside Daddy and looked me over. “Are you hurt?”

  “I'm fine.” I looked up, glanced at Des, and started to giggle again. “That was fun!”

  “That was dangerous and not funny at all, Sam!” Jakob glared at Des, shook his head, and helped me up. “Are you sure you are okay? What about your wrists? Did you hurt them again?”

  “No.” I shook my head and peeked up. Daddy was pale and frowned. Why was he angry with me? I didn't do anything. Okay, I was not supposed to run, but we had been just playing and fooling around. “I'm sorry I was running.”

  “You should be. I got scared when you fell.”

  “I was just playing.”

  “You fell, and you're wrists are still bandaged.” Jakob looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “You could have hurt yourself again.”

  “I'm fine!”

  “Because you were lucky!”

  “I was having fun!” I snapped back. “Why can't I have a little fun?”

  “Sam…” There was a warning in Jakob's voice, and I glared up at him. This was so unfair. “If you're throwing a tantrum again, I will…”

  “I´m not, but you can't stop me from having fun, Jakob! I deserve to be happy and to have fun! I just want to play and be normal.”

  “Oh, Baby.” Jakob sighed and gently stroked my cheek before he pulled me into a hug. “Of course, you deserve to be happy and to have fun, Sam. You just scared me when you fell. I can't stand to see you hurting.”

  “I know,” I mumbled into his shoulder. During my session with Ray, we talked about what happened. Ray explained to me that Jakob was affected by the events, too, even if he wasn´t in that basement with Curtis. “I'm sorry, I scared you. I just… I felt so carefree when I played with Des, and I was having fun. I'm a big boy, you know?”

  “Yes, you are. And you are all mine.” Jakob hugged me tight and gently stroked over my back. “And that´s why I want to wrap you up in bubble wrap to keep you safe. But you’re right. You should have fun, and you should be able to play and be carefree.”

  “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “But the rule about running still applies, and I hope that you learned your lesson, why you´re not supposed to run inside.” Daddy kissed my head, and then he let me go and smiled at me. “Now, would you like to show me what started all this?”

  “You want to see my surprises?”

  “Surprises? As in more than one? Yes, of course. You and Des seemed to be having fun.” Daddy winked, and I grinned in return. “I would like to see what the fuss is about.”

  “Really?” I asked, already grabbing Jakob's hand. Showing Daddy, my surprises was much better than fighting with him. And he seemed to understand, for now, that I wasn't as fragile as he thought I was.

  “Really, Baby.”

  “Okay, I´ll show you.” When I turned to go back into Des office, I saw Des and Ray smiling at us and blushed. But it was the way Ray nodded, that stopped me from freaking out. That probably meant that I did well with telling Jakob how I felt. I smiled at him and turned to my Daddy again. “I got amazing gifts.”

  “I bet you did. I can see that you got a new turtle.”

  �
��It's a special turtle! It´s a bath toy! I got a whole basket full of bath toys. Dolphins and fishes and sharks.”

  “Ah, that´s why Des chased you, humming the Jaws theme song.” Daddy laughed and followed me into Des office. When he spotted the box with my aquariums, Jakob pointed at the box on the table. “What are those?”

  “Oh! That is the best gift ever! Those are aquariums for my zoo. I can have sea animals now!” I grinned at Daddy and dropped to my knees in front of the table. Reaching for the basket, I showed Daddy all of my new bath toys. “They are so cute. Look, I even have a boat now! Can I have a bath and play with them when we get home?”

  “How about you put up your aquariums while I make dinner, then after that we snuggle and watch some cartoons, and then you get your bath before bed.”

  I turned and looked up at him, biting my lip until Daddy reached out and freed my lip with his thumb. “Can we… you know… when we watch cartoons and snuggle, can we… can I… have a special suckle, Daddy?”

  “Of course, Peanut.” Daddy bent down and kissed my head and my lips. “Come on, let's get your presents, and head home.”

  ◆◆◆

  The bath toys became my new favorites. It was so much fun to play with them in all the bubbles. I chased the shark with my boat, let the fishies race through the bubbles, and let the turtles dive. Over the last few days, Daddy and I had gotten into a bit of a ritual of having bath time before bed. I would play until Daddy washed my hair, dried me, and put me into my jammies. A few times, Daddy would race fishes with me. It was my favorite part of the day because after I had my bath, Daddy would snuggle up with me in bed, let me have my special suckle and read a story to me until I fell asleep.

  But tonight, I was more excited about going to bed with Daddy. Something in me changed yesterday. Every other time we went to bed together, I enjoyed the cuddling with Daddy, but yesterday I discovered a problem. For the first time, since I got kidnapped by Curtis, I had gotten hard. As always, I played octopus with him, and something shifted in me. I have felt so close to Jakob. And oh, my goodness, Daddy was yumminess on a stick. So, attraction has never been a problem, but for the first time, I wanted more. My body was craving more. I was so horny.

  Jakob must have felt it. He had to have felt my length pressing into his hip. I swear it was so hard it could have lifted me out of bed. But he didn’t say or do anything about it. And now I couldn't think about anything else. I loved the way his body felt while I laid wrapped around him: all those muscles and the chest hair that I played with when I suckled him. From the beginning we agreed that nothing sexual would happen when I was Little, but what about when I was in my adult space? I wondered why we never had sex.

  I was pretty sure that Jakob liked me, and I liked him too. A lot. But even before Curtis took me, nothing ever had happened. Kisses, yes. Cuddles, a lot. But sex? Not even close. And then the Curtis issue. It felt like that pushed me further away from having sex with Jakob. It’s like I had a better chance of seeing a unicorn, than having sex with Jakob. If I was honest, now was the time where I needed it more than ever. I needed more of a connection with Jakob. The closeness. The intimacy of it. But I was too scared to ask for it.

  Just thinking about Daddy’s sexy body got me hard again, and I peeked at Jakob, who sat beside the tub on the floor, watching me thoughtfully.

  “Everything okay, Peanut?”

  “Yup. Fine.” I pushed the turtle through the bubbles, but Daddy wouldn't let it go.

  “Sam?”

  “I´m just tired, Daddy.”

  “Okay, time to put the toys away, please, and let's get you all cleaned up.” Jakob smiled and reached for the washcloth. “As we established that you´re my big boy, I got a new book for you. I thought we could start with Harry Potter. Would you like that?”

  Oh shit. I loved Harry Potter, but my mind was stuck on the washing part. He would find me hard. What would he do then? Would he ignore it again? Would he do something about it? Oh God, what if he did do something? I whimpered at the thought of Jakob finally…

  “Samuel!”

  “What?” I blinked and concentrated on Daddy again. He looked concerned. “I'm sorry, Daddy.”

  “You were whimpering.”

  “Oh.” Damn. “Uh, I…” I shivered when Jakob began to run the washcloth over my shoulders and my arms. After a second, he stopped and frowned at me.

  “Sam, if you don't want me to touch you, you need to tell me.”

  “What? No. No, it´s not that.” Why would he… oh right. Because of what happened. What was I supposed to say? What if he thought I was weird or crazy? My erection softened and blushing, and I stared into the water.

  “It's okay, if it´s too soon for you, Baby. Here, clean yourself, while I go and get everything ready in the bedroom, okay?” Jakob kissed my head, handed me the washcloth, and got up. “How about some hot chocolate to go with Harry Potter?”

  “I'd like that.”

  “Okay, then call for me when you´re ready for me to help you with your jammies. You´re still okay with that?”

  “Yes, please, Daddy.” No, I wasn't okay with this. I wanted my Daddy to wash me and to make me feel cared for. But that meant I had to reveal my little secret. But I couldn’t. I just wasn’t brave enough. Hmmm, maybe I should talk to Ray about this.

  ◆◆◆

  So, the next visit with Ray, I got some Lego blocks to occupy my hands while we talked. Ray had figured out during my first session that it was easier for me to talk when my hands were busy. While George the T-Rex sat on the sofa, I sat cross-legged on the floor, playing with some blocks while Ray sat watching me.

  “You seem to be very quiet today, Sam.”

  “Not really.” I shrugged and took a red block to work on my colorful house. I grabbed a green one, sighed, and looked up at Ray. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course. You can ask anything and tell me everything. I thought we established that the last time.”

  “I know, but this is…” Blushing, I built my house for a moment before I sat back, reached for George the T-Rex, and hugged it to my chest. “I have been with the police force for a couple of years now, and I have heard and seen things, you know.”

  “I never doubted that. I know that you tech guys are way more involved in the police work than most people know.”

  That had me laughing. “Most people call us tech guys, but I´m an Information Analyst. I'm not a Detective or anything like that.”

  “That doesn't make your work less important, Sam.” Ray picked up some blocks and started to build a little car. “I hope you know that your work has nothing to do with what happened.”

  “I know.” That was the truth. I knew that most cops, district attorneys, and judges valued what we did. And I knew that what had happened in Boston with Rosek and here with Curtis had been personal. “Did you know that Curtis was in love with Rosek?”

  “Help me out here. I know about Curtis, but who is Rosek?”

  “Adam Rosek. He was a cop in Boston. He was… He was the cop who beat me up, and he was the reason why I moved to New York.” I cleared my throat and picked up another couple of blocks. While I went back to building my house, I kept talking. “Rosek and Curtis grew up together. Internal Affairs found out that Curtis was in love with Rosek. They spoke with Curtis's sister, and she told them about it. Apparently, Curtis tried to kiss Rosek one night, and Rosek laughed at him and beat him up. That´s why Curtis moved to New York, and that's why he was such a homophobe.”

  “He was hurt and too deep in the closet.”

  “Yes. And then I came along. First, I got Rosek fired, and then he got fired.” I looked up and shrugged again. “I get it. It was personal for Curtis. I get it, Ray. It had nothing to do with my work.”

  “Okay.” Ray passed some yellow blocks over, and I went back to sitting crossed legged, going back to build my house. “So, what about your work then?”

  “I…” I stopped, thinking about my words. “I've read
so many things about victims. I heard them talk about it and read what it can cause. I…” I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. “I´m getting hard.”

  “I´m sorry. I´m not sure if I follow you.”

  “In the morning. When I'm with Jakob, I'm getting hard and… he´s ignoring it.” Staring at my Legos, avoiding Ray’s gaze, I asked what was on my mind lately. “Do you think… something is wrong with me?”

  “Just so we´re on the same page here. You're getting hard when you´re with Jakob, and you´re worried about it, because of all the things you heard and learned about rape victims?”

  “Yes?”

  “Okay. Let's take this one step at a time. First, it's completely normal to be hard in the morning, Sam. Especially when you're with somebody you care deeply about. And you spend your nights with your Daddy, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Nothing wrong with that.” Ray stopped building the car, got up, and walked around the table to sit next to me on the floor. “Why do you think there is something wrong with you, Sam?”

  “What Curtis did… when Jakob washed me… I…” Sighing, I sat back and closed my eyes. “I shouldn’t feel sexually attracted to Jakob, right?”

  “Says who?”

  “Uhm… well, Jakob ignores it every morning, and he says, that maybe it’s too soon for me to be touched by him.”

  “Have you talked to him about it?” I could feel his eyes on me, and then I heard a soft chuckle. “Of course, you didn´t. Your mind stuck to the thought that there must be something wrong with you. But have you ever thought that maybe Jakob is trying to make sure he doesn’t hurt you? He can't know what you feel, if you're not talking to him, Sam.”

  “But he must know that I was hard. I mean… he must have felt it.”

  “Yes. I am sure Jakob can see and feel it, but maybe he doesn’t know what to do. Maybe he needs you to take the first step.”

  “Oh.” That made sense. If Jakob thought that I felt uncomfortable, it would explain why he just ignored me when I got hard.

  “Sam, I get where this is coming from, but let me tell you this. What you went through was traumatic. You got kidnapped, and you suffered abuse from Curtis. But you´re still the same person you were before. You want to be close to the man you love, and you want to feel a connection. That is totally normal. There is nothing wrong with you, wanting to feel alive, to be loved, and to connect to your Daddy physically. All you have to do is to talk to Jakob about it.”