Twilight in Kuta

by David Nesbit

  I wrote an email to this person. I just wrote, ‘Dear GarOrl’, many thanks for your comment. It is nice to know you. SariGal80’ and then I went for lunch.

  I had a date that evening to see Ari and his new ‘friend’. I say that she is a ‘friend’ because actually I was thinking she was Ari’s new girlfriend, or possible new girlfriend. He is a funny boy. I like him, but he is very shy sometimes. He said he wanted me to meet this girl and see if I thought she was good for him. How would I know if she was good for him? He had to decide for himself, right?

  Yes, Ari is a funny boy: a mysterious boy.

  So, I go to Dunkin’ in Citra Raya mall at 7pm as arranged and Ari is already there with his ‘friend’ when I arrive and when he sees me he stands up and introduces us.

  ‘Sari, this is Wanda, and Wanda, this is Sari,’ he says this so formally that I can’t help laughing. Wanda laughs too and immediately I think I am going to like her.

  ‘Ari,’ she says, still smiling, ‘We are not in your father’s office now. Just relax, aja.’

  Ari, the funny boy, just blushes and sits down as Wanda and I go to the counter to order something to eat and drink. She smiles at me and tells me that Ari has told her lots about me and she is really happy to meet me. She says Ari is lucky to have a best friend like me and that she hopes to be my friend too.

  She seems so nice to me. You know, most girls would be jealous if their boyfriend, or maybe-boyfriend, had a girl for their best friend, but Wanda isn’t. As we wait for our coffees she chats about her job as a trainee insurance clerk at an joint venture company in the city and how she met Ari through her friend’s sister’s friend’s brother (or something, I forget exactly) and she touches my arm a lot as she talks, but in a friendly way, and by the time we take our coffees and go back to join Mr. Funny Mysterious Boy, it seems we have known each other for years and not just a few minutes.

  We sit and chat for a while, us two girls talking much more than Ari, and it all is very nice. We speak in a mixture of English and Indonesian because Wanda says she needs to improve her English for her job.

  I tell Wanda about bugil and she pats my hand and says that you can never trust a bule completely because they are different from Indonesian men. I ask if she has ever had a bule boyfriend and she says that she hasn’t actually had a bule boyfriend, but she has met some through her job.

  ‘You know,’ she says, ‘Some are handsome and friendly, but they all want just one thing.’

  ‘Ya,’ I agree, ‘I know what you mean.’

  ‘What one thing is that?’ asks Ari, and we both laugh again at the poor innocent boy who just blushes again.

  We finish our coffee and decide to go and watch a film in the cinema at the top of the mall, but just as we are arriving at the cinema I suddenly stop dead and I can’t breathe. It seems like my heart will jump up into my mouth which is open and closing like I am a crazy woman or a goldfish. I just can’t move and it feels like my blood has gone ice cold.

  ‘Hey, what’s wrong, sis?’ Ari is concerned.

  ‘Yes, whatever is the matter, Sari?’ asks Wanda, ‘You look like you have seen a hantu, ghost.’

  ‘It’s him,’ I say, pointing at a bule walking in front of us.

  ‘Him who? Bugil? Are you sure?’ says Wanda, immediately understanding what’s happening.

  ‘Yes, yes, of course I’m sure,’ I wail. ‘That’s him! Oh, no. What should I do?’

  This time it is Ari who talks, ‘Do nothing, sis. We are going to the cinema, remember? Just ignore him.’

  Wanda takes my arm and leads us into the cinema and up to the ticket counter. She holds me tightly and when I try to turn round to look if bugil is around, she sort of wraps her arm around me and makes it impossible for me to see behind myself properly.

  She keeps a tight hold of me as we buy the tickets and then marches me off to the loo, leaving poor old Ari alone in the cinema foyer.

  By the time we get into the ladies I have clamed down a bit and am feeling almost ok again. I know that Wanda has helped me and I know now that she is really a very nice girl.

  ‘Wow, thanks Wanda,’ I say, ‘Sorry about that, but bugil just made me so shocked there.’

  Wanda smiles and says ‘Tak apa apa, it’s nothing. Come on, let’s get out there again or else Ari will think we’ve fallen in the toilet!’ I laugh then and we go back out together, find Ari and head into the cinema.

  The film is quite good but I can’t help but think of bugil during it. I noticed that he was alone when we saw him and I don’t know what that means. Does it mean he was on his way to meet someone, had just met someone, or is really as lonely as he says he is? Hmmmmm … I just don’t know.

  Anyway, we have a nice evening and then we go home. When we get to the front of the mall Ari and Wanda say they will go home by taxi while I decide to take the bus. As they start to walk away Ari looks back at me and smiles and raises his eyebrows. I know he is asking me what I think of Wanda, so I smile and give him thumbs up, and then he smiles again too.

  He is a funny boy.

  Finally I get home, tired but happy, although just a little bit confused. Ah, bugil, bugil, what are you doing to me? I ask as I drift away.

  I woke up early with bugil still in my thoughts but I didn’t care. I just wanted to have a nice day with no stress. It was Friday so casual day in my office. This meant I didn’t have to wear formal clothes and could wear relaxed clothes like a polo shirt or jeans, but not sandals. I was still not allowed to wear sandals on any day of the week.

  I chose to wear my denim skirt and blue polo shirt and I got to work early. I should be in my office at 8 am but today I got there at 7.45, and can you guess what? Selvey was already there! I was very surprised to see her so early, and even more surprised when I saw what she was wearing. She was wearing a tight sweater and a short black skirt. It was also very tight. I thought her clothes were very nice, but they were very sexy; you could see the shape of her body very clearly, and you could even see the lines of her bra and panties through her clothes (but just a bit).

  I was confused why she wanted to wear clothes like this to the office, but I did think she looked nice. I told her this, and she smiled and thanked me. She also told me she was going to a party in her husband’s office later and she wanted to look nice for it. Ah, now I understood, but I still couldn’t help looking at her a bit during the morning and I wondered if she knew we could see her underwear.

  I started my work and switched on my computer. As usual there was not much for me to do, so I checked my email. There was nothing from bugil, but I did have a message from someone called G.Reeve and the title was ‘Hi SariGal’. I was a bit confused at first because I didn’t think I knew a G.Reeve, but I clicked it open and read.

  It read:

  Hi SariGal, I just wanted to say I enjoyed reading your poem the other day and to say thanks for your comment to me. How is Jakarta there? I have never been to Jakarta, but I visited Bali for a few weeks some years ago. Since then I’ve always been interested in Indonesia, and I would like to come back one day. I live here in Orlando, in Canada. Anyway, I hope you have a great day there. Take care. Gary.

  I didn’t understand at first. Who was this? How did he know my name and where I lived? Why was he writing to me? What ‘comment’ was he thanking me for? I was confused and so I tied to think hard. Then it slowly came to me. Maybe this was the person who left a message on my blog but didn’t have his own blog for me to reply on? Yes, that must have been it. He said that his name was GarOrl. Ah, I deduced, maybe that means Gary from Orlando.

  Oh, now I knew. That’s nice. I was glad he had written to me again. I hoped he was a nice man, though, not like Charlie. After all, most bules are nice, aren’t they?

  I wrote him an email and I told him I was glad to know him. I wrote a little about myself and what I did here in Jakarta, and I said that I hoped he was well and happy. I also said I was surprised he could understand my poem as I had written it in Indonesian. Then
I pressed ‘send’ and got on with some work.

  As the day went on, more things happened. Charlie sent me two texts and called me twice. I didn’t know what the texts said or what he wanted to talk about, because I deleted the texts without reading them and didn’t answer his calls. Then Ari called me and we talked about last night. He asked me if I was ok after seeing Charlie, and I said it’s no problem and I told him about my new friend, Gary. Ari laughed at me.

  Huh! The naughty boy!

  Then we talked about Wanda and I told him that I thought she was very nice and I liked her. I told him that actually I thought she was too good for him and she should find a better boyfriend. Then he laughed and he said I was the naughty one, not him.

  Also, something else happened. Selvey started acting even more strangely. You know, she had been a bit weird for a few days now. She had been very nice to me (I know that makes me sound jahat, cruel, but it’s true, right?), she had started wearing sexy clothes in the office, and now I could hear her talking a lot on her handphone and in English. Selvey never liked to talk in English usually, but now she was doing it a lot and always laughing when she did so.

  Why, ya?

  Did she have a bule friend, a bule boyfriend, even? No, that was impossible, right? She does not like bules, and she is married! Hmmmm … I wondered what was up with that lady. It was not my business, though, I decided, and as I didn’t want her to be angry with me again, I decided not to ask any questions.

  What else? Oh ya, I almost forgot. Gary Reeve from Orlando sent me an email!!!! I was delighted to read it. In the mail he told me a bit about himself and about his life. He lived in Canada where it is very cold and he had his own photography business, he liked travelling and watching sport (he said he used to play ice-hockey but now his ‘legs have gone’ (I didn’t know what that meant) he also said he was 53 years old and had two grown up children. He said he thought my poems on my blog were ‘awesome’ and he could understand them a little because he had learnt a bit of Indonesian when he had stayed in Bali a few years earlier. He didn’t say why he had visited Bali for a few weeks, but he did say he was planning on taking a long journey soon and maybe he would come back again.

  I was a bit surprised to know his age and that he had two big children. I don’t know why, but I thought he would be young, like me, but it didn’t really matter. He also attached a photo of himself and when I opened it I saw quite a handsome man. He was quite small and a little bit chubby but he didn’t look too old. Hmmmm … I thought he looked like a professor or a doctor, or something.

  ‘Ok, see you later, honey.’

  I stopped thinking about Gary Reeve from Orlando when I heard these words and looked up in surprise. It was Selvey, talking on her phone. I was shocked. Who was she talking to? Who was ‘honey’? Would she see him? (It must be ‘him’ if she said ‘honey’, right?) I was confused. Surely Selvey knew I was there? She had to know I could hear her.

  She finished her call and saw me staring at her. I tried to look away, but she just smiled at me and said nothing.

  By now it was nearly time to go home, and so I sent a text to Ari to see what his plans were for the weekend and another email to Gary Reeve from Orlando wishing him a happy weekend and this time I included my photo too. I took one more look at Selvey, in her funny sexy clothes and said ‘goodnight’ to her and then left. As I did, my phone beeped again with another message from bugil / Charlie, which I just deleted without reading.

  Two months later and as I sat and looked at my computer all I saw was:

  From: Sarigal80@Yahoo.com

  To: Charlie7787@hotmail.com

  Date: 25 September, 2005

  I wanted to write to him one more time and let it all out, but I didn’t know where to start. Two months had just rolled by and so much had happened, so now I wanted to get it all down and explain everything. The trouble was, I knew I should just let it go, and so instead of writing anything I just let my mind wander back over everything that had occurred.

  Two months in which I became I so sad, happy, disappointed, nervous, worried, excited and afraid all at the same time. Looking back, I don’t know how all this could have happened. Let me tell you the position I found myself in and then I will tell you step by step what happened and how I came to be in this way.

  Waduh! Am I a silly girl, or naïve, or unlucky or lucky? I don’t know, sir, but I do know that both Charlie, bugil, and Gary Reeve from Orlando ended up wanting to marry me! Also, Ari told me he would get married too, the silly boy, and Selvey became crazy and made me think she was having an affair!

  Oooohhh, my life!

  So, how can I tell you what has happened? Well, after what happened with bugil in his apartment I didn’t want to see him or have any contact with him, but then when I saw him in the cinema that time when I was with Ari and Wanda I felt strange and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He tried to call me a few times and sent me some texts and even some emails, but I didn’t reply. I tried very hard to forget him, the silly bugil, but I just couldn’t.

  I started writing to Gary, the guy from Orlando, and then I sort of thought I fell in love with him and he sort of thought he fell in love with me too, and then he asked me to marry him, and then I said yes and I wrote a text to Charlie because I wanted to know how he was and I wanted to tell him my news, but he said he loved me too and that he wanted to marry me also.

  That’s all.

  Wow, I guess I have not really explained things very well, have I? Ok, well now I will tell you step by step.

  After Charlie hurt me (I don’t want to call him bugil anymore, it’s not nice) I started writing to Gary. He and I started chatting on YM and I started to get to know him more. He told me that he was 53 years old, but felt much younger (I told him he looked much younger, too) and he said he had been married twice before but he is single now. He said he was only married to his first wife for a short time and it was when they were both young. He said he loved her very much but she died in a plane crash.

  He then spoke about his second wife, called Cheryl, whom he married when he was 25. He said they were married for more than 20 years but then they got divorced. I was sad when I heard his stories because it must be very sad indeed if the person you love dies, right? I also think it must be very sad if the person you have been married to for many years suddenly decides not to love you anymore. Gary said that was what happened with his second wife. I felt so sorry for him. It is a sad life, right?

  He told me he had two children. They were from his second wife and they were now 25 years old and 23 years old.

  Wow, I thought, a kid who is 25! That was my age!

  He seemed such a lovely man but so lonely. He told me about the travelling he had done and his journey to Bali a few years ago. He still didn’t tell me very much about that trip, and after my experiences with Charlie I did wonder why. I hoped he wasn’t being untruthful or holding something back and although I didn’t think he was, I decided not to trust him completely at first.

  However, I did tell him about my life here. I told him simple things at first about my family and my job and my writing, and he was very interested in what I told him and supported me a lot.

  Then I started to tell him about bugil, sorry, I mean, about Charlie, and I told him how much he had hurt me and, can you believe it, I even told Gary about making love with Charlie, and I didn’t feel shy or guilty. It just felt right to tell him.

  Gary was so sweet when I said that to him. He said that he just wanted to hold me and take away my pain and dry my tears. It was such a lovely thing to say and it made me cry a bit. Nobody has ever said such a nice thing to me as that. I felt then that he was the nicest man in the whole world and I told him my feeling. It was strange because I never usually tell anybody directly my feeling like that, but with Gary it all felt so natural and nice.

  Then he asked if he could call me and so we spoke by Skype. I felt so relaxed and calm speaking to him, even though it was a bit difficult to really un
derstand everything. We spoke for ages and I felt so close to him. It was a strange feeling but it was a nice one too.

  After this first time talking to Gary, I stopped thinking much about Charlie and I looked forward to speaking with Gary every day. Sometimes we would speak on Skype, and sometimes on YM. I loved to talk to him, but I understood more when we were on YM.

  One day when we were chatting on YM, I told him that I really really liked him and I looked forward to all our talking every day and he said he did too. Then I said that it was a pity he lived so far away because I would love to meet him, and he said that he would love to come to Jakarta one day, maybe soon, and meet me. I was excited when he said that and I said it would be great and that we could hang out together and I would tell everyone he was my new boyfriend.

  Actually, I was just joking when I said that so I was very shocked indeed when he said he would be proud to be my boyfriend. I asked if he was serious and he said he was, and that he did want to be with me.

  My heart started beating so fast when he said that. Really, was he serious? I asked him again if he was joking, and again he said he was telling me the truth. I was so happy but also so surprised and a bit scared. I mean, we were so far apart and he was so much older than me, and I had been so badly hurt by Charlie that I just didn’t know if I could really trust anyone again so soon.

  I didn’t answer his YM for a few minutes and then he pinged me. He asked me if I was ok. I told him I was, but I also told him about my confusion and my fears. He said then that ‘love is blind’ and we could overcome everything.

  This made me more worried and scared and happy, because he said ‘love’ to me. I asked him, ‘Do you love me, then?’ and he said ‘Yes,’ and then I said ‘I love you too,’ and then neither of us said anything for a few minutes.