To Protect and Serve

by Pat Adeff

  That sounded great! Nancy had a few items to get herself, and this would be perfect. The downtown shops didn’t close until 10:00 pm during the holidays, so they had a couple of hours.

  “Sure, honey. Let me get my jacket.” Nancy left the kitchen and missed the weighted looks that her kids gave to each other.

  “We’ve got to do something about this!” Jackson said. “This is killing her!” He rinsed and handed the plates to Christy while she loaded them into the dishwasher.

  “And just what do you suggest?” Christy felt angry that her mom was hurting and she didn’t have a clue about what she could do to handle it.

  “I think it’s time we had a heart to heart with a certain officer of the law.” Kate handed Christy the detergent and watched while Christy placed it in the dishwasher, secured the door and turned it on.

  All three of them stood facing each other while they dried their hands and didn’t say another word, yet all were in agreement about their next step.

  Nancy came back into the kitchen and announced she was ready. “See you guys later! Love you!”

  “Love you, Mom!”

  Christy and Jackson watched as Nancy and Kate walked out to the car.

  “Babe, promise me we’ll never get that nuts with our relationship.” Jackson put his arm around Christy’s waist.

  “Oh, we will. But we’ll get over it because we love each other.” Christy rested her head on Jackson’s shoulder.

  They watched the car pull away.

  Then Christy said something that she knew would make Jackson change the expression on his face.

  “Honey, let’s go through the bridal magazine – again.” And was rewarded with his look of dismay. “Just kidding.”

  CHAPTER 23

  By the time Kate and Nancy reached downtown, Nancy was actually feeling better. She guessed the nap and food helped.

  It took them almost ten minutes to find a parking spot because of the holiday traffic. By the time they got out of the car they already knew exactly which stores they were going to hit and in what order.

  The holiday decorations and lights made the historical downtown area look festive and the piped in music also helped raise Nancy’s mood. Why did stores start decorating for Christmas in November, anyway?

  They were heading for their first stop when the best smell in the whole world hit them. They turned and looked at each other and knew without speaking what was going to happen next.

  “Gingerbread!” They both laughed and headed to the Gingerbread Hut for dessert. The bread was made fresh every two hours and was topped with your choice of either real whipped cream or a lemon hard sauce.

  Nancy and Kate got both.

  They found a corner table and were soon enjoying their treat.

  By the time they’d finished and licked all the gooey sweetness off their fingers, Nancy felt better than she had for quite a while. She didn’t particularly enjoy shopping, but she enjoyed Kate’s company.

  They threw away their trash and headed for the first stop of many. Nancy found just the right teaching gift for Tess as Kate browsed through the card section. After paying for Tess’ beaded apple-shaped ornament, they exited the store and turned left.

  Next stop, the high-end lingerie boutique where Kate bought Christy a cute pajama set with matching slippers. Nancy looked through the lingerie section and wondered if she’d ever feel the need to purchase something sexy again. Which brought her thoughts back to Doug. Nancy sighed but by the time Kate was ready to leave the store, she had once more reined in her emotions.

  As they walked down the festive crowded street, Nancy was once again struck with how many couples were shopping. It seemed like everywhere she looked, a man and a woman were either arm in arm or having a conversation. Some were young, some were old. Nancy watched a couple that looked to be about her age and wondered why they could make it work, but she couldn’t. What was wrong with her anyway?

  She knew she wasn’t ugly. Nancy thought she looked better now that she’d cut out sugar and white flour (well except for the gingerbread) and had dropped about eight pounds. She also knew that with make-up and jewelry, she looked pretty good for her age. Then why wasn’t some guy falling head over heels for her?

  As they entered their next stop, a handsome man about 10 years younger than Nancy held the door for them. They both thanked him, but Kate was the only one who noticed how his gaze lingered on Nancy after she passed by him. Kate shook her head. Her mom just didn’t see the guys who checked her out. She’d tried to tell her mom about the men who had tried flirting with Nancy, but Nancy scoffed at Kate and told her she was reading things into innocent remarks. Boy! Could her mom be dense sometimes!

  Nancy and Kate went in together for Jackson’s gift, a lounge chair that had a built-in back and foot massage feature. Luckily it came in two boxes, assembly required, so they could take it with them.

  Nancy also found a great saddlebag that would go perfect with Doug’s motorcycle. Again her thoughts had turned to Doug. She mentally chided herself. This is ridiculous!

  A grown woman, for gosh sakes, mooning over some guy. Well, maybe not just some guy, but a modern day hero in armor. Okay, okay. Kevlar to be precise.

  “That would go good with Doug’s bike.” Kate spoke out loud what Nancy had only thought. “We could get it for him, you know.” Nancy almost gave in.

  “Honey, I’m not sure we’ll ever see him again.” Nancy had to choke the words out from around the huge lump that had formed at the base of her throat.

  “Mom. You really need to call him. I could tell watching you two today that there is still something there between you. Neither of you looked happy. Please call him!” Kate was using her best powers of persuasion.

  “I just can’t, Kate. I was raised where the men called the women, not the other way around. I know that sounds old fashioned, but it’s just the way I am.”

  “Yeah, mom. But you’re forgetting the fact that old fashioned women also knew how to bake a casserole and take it to the guy they were interested in. At the very least they knew how to drop a hanky.” With that final statement, Kate pretended to walk like she was wearing a corset and floor length gown, and dropped a woman’s handkerchief behind her with a coy shifting of the eyes.

  Nancy couldn’t help but smile at her daughter’s antics. She guessed that the acting gene HAD passed on to her offspring.

  She laughed and watched Kate’s eyes release some of their worry.

  The remainder of their shopping went well and they had everything purchased and in the trunk of the car before 9:00 p.m.

  Nancy wished that she’d actually bought the motorcycle saddlebags for Doug, even if they weren’t going to continue their relationship. She knew how good it would look on the bike.

  Kate hoped that her mom was so preoccupied that she hadn’t noticed her buying the saddlebags and arranging for their delivery. Somehow, someway, Kate vowed to get her mom and Doug back together again. She hadn’t ever seen her mom as happy as when she and Doug had been together.

  CHAPTER 24

  The next few days dragged past in exquisite torture. Nancy just couldn’t stop thinking about Doug and wishing that he’d change his mind and call her.

  She tried to make sense of what was happening. Several times she was sure that when the phone rang, it was Doug calling to apologize to her, but it was just one of her girls’ friends. Nancy tried to imagine the amount of pressure and stress that Doug was under. Going through the trial must be horrendous. However, trying to empathize did nothing for her heart.

  She still held out hope that he would call. In her more sane moments, she was certain that what they had between them was more than just a fling. She could almost feel him thinking about her.

  In her less sane moments, her imagination came up with every awful thought that it could. Nancy was certain that Doug hadn’t really cared for her at all. She’d even convinced herself that the bouquet had been a ‘good-bye, thanks for the good time” gift.
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  Thanksgiving Day was the worst!

  She’d wanted to invite Doug over for Thanksgiving dinner. Her kids had started nagging her about calling Doug. But she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

  Nancy really didn’t want to look like a pest, or worse, desperate. When she still hadn’t heard from Doug by the Monday before Thanksgiving, she called her folks and asked if she could bring the girls and all the food up to their house and fix Thanksgiving meal for everyone.

  Her family was more than happy to have Nancy and the girls. So, they packed everything into the car late Wednesday night and drove to Redlands. Her girls tried once again to get her to call Doug, but she refused.

  Nancy thought she’d done a pretty good job of looking cheerful for Thanksgiving. If any of Nancy’s family thought she looked sad, they didn’t say anything. Kate and Christy had filled everyone in on Nancy’s situation, so the topic of Doug had not been brought up at all.

  It didn’t make the day move by any faster, but at least Nancy was kept busy in the kitchen. When it came time for the family prayer circle, it took everything Nancy had to not start crying -- again. During the prayer, she made a point to mentally sing something so that she wouldn’t hear the word “thankful” and start crying. However, when the mental song turned into a slow love ballad by Alabama, Nancy felt her eyes fill. Thank goodness the prayer was over and she could run to the bathroom before serving the dinner. Sometimes the excuse of “hot flash” was useful.

  Nancy didn’t see her family exchange looks with each other at the table. And after dinner when her mom and dad had a talk with her girls, she missed that one too.

  Everyone left the house with foil packages and bags of food. Invariably, there was always too much food left over. Usually Nancy and the girls would take the food down to the San Bernardino courthouse area where the homeless seemed to congregate, and they’d distribute the food packages.

  However, this year, Nancy just didn’t have it in her. Instead she pleaded a headache and went to bed early. Usually she felt comfortable at her folks’ house and slept soundly. However, this time she tossed and

  turned until the clock said 3:30 am, at which time she gave up and padded out to the darkened living room and quietly put on a movie to watch.

  Unfortunately, her choice was “An Affair to Remember” with Cary Grant and Debra Kerr. Oh well. At least she had a reasonable excuse for tears if someone happened to stumble upon her.

  The next day, she and girls drove with her mom and dad up to Oak Glen and enjoyed the local petting zoo and once again stuffed themselves with even more pie than the evening before. One cannot go to Oak Glen without having apple pie.

  That evening they enjoyed a family game of Scrabble until once again Nancy begged off and went to bed early. She didn’t think her family knew she saw the looks they gave her when she supposedly wasn’t watching.

  Luckily, they knew her well enough to not be sympathetic. That would have been her complete undoing, and she really needed to pull it together.

  On Sunday, she and the girls drove home. She knew it would have been too good to be true if there was a note or something left at her house. Maybe a black and white unit?

  But, there wasn’t anything.

  Luckily there was a ton of laundry to do before school started again the next day, and Nancy also decided to clean out the pantry area – again.

  Kate left the house after getting a phone call and Jackson had shown up and taken Christy to the movies.

  Nancy had the house to herself. The quiet, dead house.

  To quote one of her new students “life sucks.”

  CHAPTER 25

  Andy’s case went to trial. With Attorney Harris’ expertise and Andy’s show of changed behavior, Andy was sentenced to the time he’d already spent in jail, and was told he had a rather hefty fine and had been assigned several hours of community service working at the homeless shelter for the two weeks prior to Christmas and Christmas Day itself.

  Doug volunteered to work a double shift on Thanksgiving Day. He hoped that he would be too busy to think about Nancy. Wishful thinking. It seemed like she was ALL he thought about.

  Bill had told him he was being a horse’s ass, and that he should go see Nancy. Doug had tried to explain why he couldn’t, but Bill and Patty weren’t buying any of it. Doug couldn’t even truly explain it to himself.

  However, he knew that if Nancy was really interested in him, she would have called.

  Bill and Patty all but disowned him, which made it even harder.

  Thanksgiving afternoon was busy. Mostly with older people who had no one to celebrate the holiday with. Around 5:00 pm there was a lull. Doug spent the down time working up the courage to stop by Nancy’s and apologize. He drove past her street several times. Finally he turned onto the street and drove slowly towards her house.

  Reluctantly, he pulled the black and white unit into her driveway and took a deep breath while he turned off the engine.

  Doug got out of the car and walked towards the door rehearsing what he was going to say.

  He knocked.

  And waited.

  No answer.

  He knocked again.

  And waited.

  He stepped into the bushes at the front of the house and was looking into the kitchen window, when the neighbor lady called out.

  “They’re not home. They took off last night.”

  “Did they say where they were going?” Doug tried not to look embarrassed while he stepped out of the bushes and onto the walkway.

  The neighbor was dressed in brown polyester slacks, an orange blouse and an apron which said “Turkey Day!” emblazoned with a small cartoon of a turkey running from a man with a hatchet.

  “Nope. But I think I heard one of the girls say something about being away for a few days.”

  Doug’s spirits dropped even lower than before.

  “Thank you for your help. Have a nice Thanksgiving, Ma’am.” Doug walked back to his unit and slid in behind the wheel. He sat there looking at Nancy’s house until he realized that the neighbor lady with the awful apron was still watching him.

  He started the engine, put the car into reverse and touched the brim of his cap at the lady as he drove past her down the street.

  Doug wished he’d called Nancy. He wished it wasn’t Thanksgiving and he wished the day would move faster.

  Where’d they go?

  Maybe she went to her parents?

  Was it just her kids and her?

  The day dragged on.

  As did the next few days. For some reason Doug just couldn’t bring himself to get up the courage again to call Nancy or stop by.

  Coward! He chastised himself. What would it take to get him to call? Hell, he was a cop. He was supposed to be brave and courageous. Yeah. Right now he’d rather face a 6’4” 275 pound guy on crack than look into Nancy’s eyes and see absolutely nothing.

  He wasn’t even looking forward to dinner at Bill and Patty’s house that evening. He knew they would put him through the ringer six ways to Sunday. Hell, maybe he deserved it. Call it penance.

  When he arrived at their front door at five minutes to 8:00 that evening, Doug made sure he had gifts in hand; flowers for Patty and a bottle of Rancho Mirage Aged Port for Bill.

  “Oh, Doug! They’re beautiful!” Patty gave him a hug and then took the flowers into the kitchen, looking for a vase.

  Doug held out the bottle of port to Bill. Bill just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest.

  “Ah. Common, Bill. It’s a gift. Accept it graciously.” Doug was trying to sound lighthearted, but his comment came out more like a dig.

  “Have you come to your senses yet?” Bill leaned forward slightly and pinned Doug with his stare.

  Doug felt as though he was standing in front of the sergeant and being dressed down for some infraction. He didn’t like it one bit.

  “Come on, Bill. Cut me some slack.”

  “What sort of friend would I be i
f I did that? Doug, you know that I rarely step in and tell you what to do.”

  At Doug’s raised eyebrow, Bill shifted slightly and changed his tactics.

  “Doug, you know that Patty and I love you like family, right?”

  Doug nodded in affirmation and tried to curb his exasperation.

  “Patty and I just think that if you let this woman go, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I don’t want to see that happen.”

  “I know, Bill. I know.”

  Doug looked so forlorn, that Bill took pity on him, and taking the bottle of wine, led Doug into the family room for dinner. There they joined Patty and their kids, twin sixteen year old boys Eric and Kenny. Eric was quarterback of Orange High’s winning football team. His brother Kenny was the editor of the high school newspaper, The Panther. Both boys were above-average students, as well as being two of the most popular men on campus. Thank goodness they were also ethical. They’d inherited their dads’ moral compass and their mom’s compassion.

  Now Doug found himself under the scrutiny of this family, which had no desire to mind its own business.

  When the conversation finally lulled at one point, Doug was surprised to hear Kenny say, “Uncle Doug. I don’t understand what’s stopping you from calling Nancy. If she’s as wonderful as it sounds like she is, and you feel as strongly as you seem to, you need to go for it. The worst that will happen is that she’ll turn you down.”

  Doug was hard pressed to even explain it to himself, much less to these people who cared so much about him.

  Eric joined in. “Yeah, Uncle Doug. It’s really better to at least try than not to try and forever regret that you didn’t.

  Good grief! When high school boys understood better what he should do than he did himself, he knew that he was in trouble.

  What had ever happened to the love-em-and-leave-em guy he used to be? When had it all gotten so complicated?

  His gut twisted when he answered his own question. It had all gotten complicated when he’d fallen in love. He truly loved Nancy. He felt more for her than he’d ever felt for anyone else in his life. It might be a cliché, but she completed him. She made him feel that he could do anything he wanted. He felt that she made him a better man.