And so she returned his kisses and his passion with a quiet desperation that he sensed but couldn’t soothe, not even in the long nights when he drove her to exhaustion, then slept with his arms wrapped around her and his weight pressing her into the mattress.
Nina’s days were as hectic as Luke’s, limiting their time together, increasing her sense of urgency. Suddenly it was their last moment together. Luke had come over to Nina’s apartment to say goodbye in private. They had agreed she wouldn’t go to the airport with him where someone might photograph “their passionate farewell embrace.”
He would be gone for six long weeks. Nina wrapped herself around him.
“My God, woman, you’re like an octopus,” he complained.
“Hold me,” she insisted.
“Okay,” he said nobly. After a while his hands started to roam over her body. They stopped abruptly on her wide snakeskin belt. “Is this new?” he asked suspiciously.
“Yes. Luke, don’t tell me you’re a snake lover, too. Endless mutual discovery is one thing, but this is getting absurd.”
“How can you possibly, in good conscience, wear—”
“And to think I thought I would miss you! You won’t see me for six weeks. Can’t you talk about anything more romantic than the immorality of my wardrobe?”
“Don’t overfeed my fish. They got fat last time I was away.”
“What do I see in you, I wonder?”
“Lazy sensuality?”
Nina’ s phone rang. She answered it.
“Yes, Robin, he’s still here. Okay, calm down. Yes, tell Kate I’ll make him leave. Have a good trip. See you in the New Year. Oh, and keep an eye on him for me, Robin. He’s arrogant, unpredictable, and hot-tempered, but he’s the best I’ve got.” She put down the receiver. “You have to go,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.
Luke looked at her for a painful moment, trying to memorize every detail—even the snakeskin belt. Nina flung herself into Luke’s arms. He held her so tightly she could scarcely breathe.
“Tighter,” she whispered.
They kissed longingly.
“I’ll call every day,” he whispered.
“Don’t make promises. Just call me when you can.”
He kissed her again. “Think of me,” he breathed against her lips. They pulled apart roughly. He opened the door to leave. “Oh, and Nina?”
“Yes?”
“For God’s sake, don’t redecorate my apartment while I’m gone.”
A pillow sailed through the air as he closed the door.
He telephoned her that night from Los Angeles.
“Hi, it’s Luke.”
“Luke who?”
“I could catch the next flight back to refresh your memory.”
“My memories are shocking enough as it is. Stay in LA and get rich enough to take me to Les Précieuses every night.
“I always thought women were supposed to get all mushy when their lovers went away,” Luke complained.
“A common male fantasy.” She heard music, laughter, and shouting in the background. “Where are you? What’s going on?”
“That’s just Kate and the guys and a bunch of other people celebrating California sunshine. Work starts tomorrow.”
Nina smiled wickedly and said in a gooey, mushy voice, “Oh, darling, sweetheart, Luke, tell me how much you miss me.”
“There are a lot of people here,” he said uncomfortably.
“Don’t you wish I were there with you?”
“Most of the time. The rest of the time I want to shake you till your teeth rattle.”
Nina laughed, knowing full well he spoke the truth. They talked for ten minutes about nothing in particular. Nina hugged the phone to her after she hung up. Really, everything would be all right.
Since she knew this would not be the last time they were apart for a lengthy period, Nina concentrated on developing a positive way of living while he was gone rather than moping like a lovesick teenager until he came home.
Luckily, her work was absorbing and fulfilling. With the holidays coming up fast there was even more work with Christmas celebrations and charity concerts. She kept her social life active with friends and family. It was amazing to think she had more or less occupied herself this way her entire adult life without thinking anything could be missing.
Luke was absent, but the added dimension of her life was still there in her love and longing for him, in her expanded views and feelings. She found ways to keep him close to her though he was thousands of miles away. She played his albums whenever she was at home. She took his car out to cautiously practice her driving. Although she was never sentimental enough to practice cooking while he was away, she did try reading books she knew he loved. And, of course, there were his telephone calls.
He didn’t call every day; his schedule was too erratic and she was seldom home, anyhow. She had the phone number of where he was based in LA, but he was jumping around the West Coast so much she could never reach him. Sometimes he might call her twice in a day; other times she might go four days without hearing from him. Even so, they were running up quite a phone bill.
Her phone was ringing off the hook as she came home one day. It must be Luke—even his ring was impatient and demanding. She had forgotten to leave her answering machine on.
“Hello?” she said into the receiver.
“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick! I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday afternoon!”
“Hello, darling. Fine, thanks, and you?” Nina said mildly.
A sullen pause. Then: “Hi.”
“I went out to Westchester to see Angela and Maria in their school play and spent the night at Michael and Nancy’s house.”
“Oh.”
“Where did you suppose I was? I told you how busy things have been.”
“I’ve been imagining the worst. I guess I got carried away. I pictured you lying under the wheels of a car or stabbed through the heart in an alley somewhere.”
“That is a bit carried away, Luke.”
“I didn’t want to call your mom and make her hysterical, too, in case it turned out to be nothing”
She smiled fondly. “Luke, as you once pointed out, I’ve been crossing the street my whole life without your help. There’s no reason to suppose life with you has addled my brain so much I can’t function anymore.”
“I know. I just ... worry about you, I guess.”
“That’s nice,” she said softly.
“I think about you a lot out here.”
“I think about you, too.”
There was a long frustrated silence between them.
“Nina...”
“What?”
“...Nothing. I mean ... I wish you were here.”
“I know.”
“I want to see you and touch you. I want—”
“You’d better not tell me what else you want to do or I won’t be able to sleep tonight,” she said huskily, feeling the now familiar wildness welling up inside of her.
Luke told Nina he probably wouldn’t be able to call her again until Christmas Day at her parents’ house since he would be moving around a lot in the next few days.
Christmas Eve at the Gnagnarelli house was always exciting and chaotic. The children gave the house that special air of excitement, but the adult Gnagnarellis were also pretty enthusiastic.
“Mark, stop squeezing the packages!”
“Aw, Mom, I just—”
“You, too, Joe. Aren’t you both about twenty years too old to be behaving this way?” Julia ended on a shriek as Matthew picked her up and carried her under the mistletoe. Nina was still hanging it up, balancing precariously on a step ladder.
“Give me a kiss, Mom,” teased Matthew.
“Grandma! Grandma!” cried a small child, roughly shoving his Uncle Matt out of the way. “Grandpa’s cheating at checkers again! He’s winning all the cookies! Make him play fair!”
Nina watched Nancy and
Michael as they desperately tried to find a satisfactory hiding place for all the children’s presents from Santa Claus. Then Nina was obliged to explain to Angela and Maria why they couldn’t have brandy in their egg nog like she did. After Stefano convinced Julia to try out the mistletoe, the doorbell rang, sending most of her family rushing to the front door.
It was a man with a large, special delivery package from Luke in California, addressed to them all. Nina was surprised. She had bought him a gift—a beautiful Italian leather jacket—but she was keeping it until he returned. She was hoping she could talk him into accepting it. Naturally she wanted to open the package right away, but her four brothers kept it out of reach and evilly insisted she wait till morning like the rest of the children.
Luke called late Christmas Day. All the Gnagnarellis were gathered in the living room as Stefano beat them one by one at his new electronic football game.
“I thought those things were meant for kids,” said Matthew.
“I guess that’s why Mom got it for Pop,” Nina said.
When the phone rang she knew, as she always did, that it was Luke calling.
“Merry Christmas, honey!”
“Merry Christmas!” she shouted above the noise.
“Did you like them?”
“We loved them! We’re all wearing them now”
Luke had sent a boxful of custom-designed T-shirts. Each of their individual names was printed on the back. On the front in bold letters the name “Gnagnarelli” appeared, and under it was printed: “Nya-nya-rel-i.” She and her whole family had been thrilled. Everyone had put on the brightly colored shirts and worn them all day. Nina told Luke.
“I’m glad,” he said.
“I’ve got your present with me,” Nina explained. “I want to see your face when I give it to you.”
“Oh?” He sounded suspicious.
“Just keep an open mind.”
“I’m not sure I like the sound of this.”
“Luke...”
“Yes?”
Nina didn’t want to bellow her feelings over the phone in front of her whole family, but she had to tell him.
“I’ve had all sorts of presents in my life, including jewels and furs, but this one was my favorite ever.”
“I have another for you. Not jewels or furs—you have enough of one and too many of the other. This one is special. I want you to watch me on TV New Year’s Eve. You’ll get it then.”
“What is it?”
“I’m not telling. Watch the show.”
“Is this your subtle way of forcing me to sit through more rock ‘n’ roll?”
“Caught red-handed.”
“I’ll watch it.”
“I’ll be thinking of you,” he said.
“I—uh—” She noticed her nieces staring avidly at her.
“Yes, darling?” he teased. “Aren’t you going to tell me you miss me and long for me night after night in your lonely bed?”
“Right. What you said,” she said uncomfortably and hung up.
The following week was packed with rehearsals, performances, and holiday gatherings, but Nina didn’t forget her promise to Luke.
Giorgio Bellanti invited Nina, along with Jesse and Rebecca Harmon, to his house for New Year’s Eve. After a late supper, they turned on the TV. The program was a review of the year’s pop hits and a preview of music coming out in the New Year. There was a live interview with Luke, during which the interviewer congratulated him on the outstanding success of A Wilder Name and asked about his plans for the following year. Luke said he didn’t want to tour again for a while.
Nina noticed how tired he looked; she must tell him, next time he called, to eat right and get more sleep. The interviewer, a man with rather overstyled hair, pressed Luke for more information about his opera star girlfriend. Why wasn’t she with him in California? And was it true they might be splitting up soon? Nina wondered how a total stranger could manage to insinuate so many unpleasant things about her in just a few sentences. To her relief, Luke politely refused to comment. When the interview was over, the interviewer told the viewing audience that he was pleased and proud to announce the premier showing of Luke’s latest video Once Bit Is Twice Shy.
Nina jumped out of her seat, a surprised and excited smile lighting her face. “That sneak! All that taping, all those long days and late nights at the studio! He never told me it was for this!”
“Pretty good surprise, yes, Nina?” said Giorgio jovially. Giorgio’s immense family crowded around the TV set to enjoy the video with Nina.
The video was rather funny and terribly sexy. Above all, it had Luke’s personality stamped all over it—bold, daring, original. It wasn’t her usual cup of tea, but no operatic aria or Elizabethan sonnet could have pleased Nina as much as the cheeky, jazzy rock song Luke Swain had written for her.
“He’s a genius!” cried Giorgio amiably. “You are a lucky woman, Nina!”
Nina felt tears welling up in her eyes. More than anything she wanted to reach across nearly three thousand miles to hold Luke and tell him how much his gift meant to her.
When the video was over, everyone cheered and congratulated Nina in Italian and English, as if she herself had created that video. Jesse and Rebecca beamed like proud parents.
“And to think I introduced them.” Jesse sighed.
“You did not,” Rebecca objected.
“Well, they met because of me,” Jesse protested.
“They did not. They met because of the music awards ceremony,” Rebecca insisted.
“Well, if it hadn’t been for me—”
“Hush up, it’s nearly midnight,” Rebecca admonished.
They all counted off the last seconds of the old year and loudly rang in the new one. Nina would have given anything to be with Luke at that moment. She closed her eyes and concentrated very hard, hoping he would know she was thinking of him.
She went home early, hoping Luke would call her there since she didn’t know where to reach him. Nina thought she would burst with happiness if she tried to keep her feelings bottled up inside any longer. She’d been a fool to be afraid of the future, to think anything could go wrong between them. She loved him so much, she had to let him know. When he called, she would tell him she loved him with all her heart and soul.
She waited up late, but he didn’t call. She was disappointed, but it was understandable. There was a three-hour time difference; he was probably afraid of waking her. And he was the man of the hour tonight; he probably couldn’t even get a moment alone to call her. It didn’t matter. She’d tell him tomorrow.
In bed, Nina hugged her pillow sleepily—a very poor substitute for what she wanted to be hugging—and watched dawn paint the sky with vivid amber streaks. It was bitterly cold outside, but her heart was overflowing with warmth. Love swept through her like a life-giving river. Her future seemed full of promise on this first day of January, usually the bleakest of months.
Twelve
“What’s wrong?” Luke asked. His voice sounded hollow and far away.
“Nothing,” Nina said dully.
“Come on, Nina, I know that tone of voice; something’s bothering you,” he prodded.
Although she’d gotten messages from him on her answering machine for the past four days, this was the first time he’d been able to reach her since New Year’s. She couldn’t reach him either since he’d been even busier, traveling, performing, interviewing, traveling. He sounded exhausted and ill-tempered.
“I’m just tired,” Nina said.
“This is like pulling teeth,” he said irritably.
She really hadn’t intended to tell him. It was her problem, and she didn’t want to make him feel guilty. But he was pushing her again. “All right. You want to know what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. What’s wrong is that two days ago, in front of my entire family, Maria and Angela came up to me with some tabloid that had a big, clear, frontpage picture of you out on the town with some red-headed actress.”
There was a long pause before he said uneasily, “Nina, you don’t honestly think I’m seeing someone else, do you?”
“No, of course not. But my nieces were all upset, and my family was embarrassed, and I kept trying to explain that it’s just hype. I felt even more ridiculous than when I tried to explain my divorce to them.” She sighed heavily. “It was awful.”
“Oh, Nina, I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “Robin and I went to a charity concert with this actress and her husband. I should have realized ... I just stopped worrying about nonsense like that a long time ago.”
Nina felt so frustrated. “Honestly, Luke, why can’t you get yourself photographed with a man for a change?”
“I think that would cause more scandal than this, Nina,” he said dryly.
“Oh. Yes. I suppose so.” She sighed again. “I just don’t understand why they have to do this to us”
“I suppose it sells copies. Are your father and brothers ready to kill me?”
“No, of course not. They want to believe me. They’re just worried about me. Especially since my divorce.”
“Nina, honey, I’m so sorry about making things awkward with your family. I’ll be more careful.”
“How?” she asked glumly. “Are you going to make sure you never come within thirty feet of another woman besides me and Kate?”
“Well, I wasn’t thinking of anything quite so drastic,” he admitted.
They talked for a few more minutes. Nina finally hung up feeling restless and dissatisfied. Then she realized she’d never even mentioned the Once Bit Is Twice Shy video to him. He must be feeling hurt about that. She’d also forgotten to tell him she had to go to Boston for a concert and wouldn’t be back until the following week.
“Damn!” she said, throwing a pillow across the room. She didn’t even know where he had been calling from.
Climbing to the top of the opera world was starting to look very easy compared to falling in love with Luke Swain.
She and Giorgio enjoyed singing in Boston, and they tried half a dozen Italian restaurants during their stay there. Nina kept trying to reach Luke at the Los Angeles number, knowing all the while that it was useless; hadn’t he said he would be in Northern California all week? But Nina was growing more and more dissatisfied with the unresolved issues between them. She was filled with a sense of urgency. She had to talk to him, and soon.
A Wilder Name Page 17