Conflicted (The Existing Series Book 2)

by Guilliams,A. M.

  “Blanket and bear,” Grace said through the thumb in her mouth, causing me to smile. She couldn’t do anything without either of the two. Quickly, I retrieved the items and went to finish the task of cooking breakfast.

  Just as the eggs and sausage were finishing up, I pressed the button on the coffee pot so it could brew. I spooned out portions for Grace so they could begin to cool. I turned around to find Delaney leaning against the wall that led into the kitchen.

  “How long have you been standing there?” I asked as I sat the plate down on Grace’s highchair top.

  “Long enough. You concentrate way too hard when you cook,” she said with laughter in her tone, a different sound than I was used to hearing from her.

  “I do not.” I shook my head and went to get Grace so she could eat.

  “You ready to eat, pumpkin?” I picked her up from the couch, leaving behind the blanket and the bear.

  I bounced her up and down as we walked into the kitchen, and she giggled with every step. Sitting her down, I put locked the tray in place. Her small fingers went to pick up her food, but I put my hand on hers, stopping her. I was trying to get her to continuously eat with her fork or spoon and she fought me with it most times.

  I handed her the spoon and walked over to the fridge to get the milk. After I had grabbed her sippy cup out of the cabinet, I poured the milk and secured the lid. I handed the cup over to her, which she took and instantly brought to her mouth to take a sip.

  “You’re good with her,” Delaney said from the same spot I left her in.

  “Sorry about that, but she can be a bear if she doesn’t get her way or her food in a timely manner.”

  I finished getting everything ready and carried our plates over to the table, going back to retrieve the cups of coffee and silverware after I sat the plates down.

  “Enjoy,” I said as pulled out her chair and motioned for her to join us.

  Grace was too in-tune to her food, not even looking up as we sat down.

  “Thank you for breakfast,” Delaney said as she took a bit of her eggs.

  “No problem at all,” I replied, taking a bite of my own.

  “Daddy? Who that?” Grace said, taking a break from devouring the breakfast sitting before her.

  “This is my friend Delaney. Delaney, this is my daughter Grace,” I said as I finally formally introduced the two of them. They only had a brief encounter at my parents’ house a month ago.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Grace,” Delaney said, a smile formed on her lips as she took a sip of her coffee.

  “Hi, Laney,” Grace giggled and went back to eating her eggs.

  “So, what are your plans?” I asked, trying to break the silence and learn more about the woman my friend had fallen in love with.

  “I packed up everything, taking only the necessities and what I wanted to keep for memories. I had some of his army buddies come over and take his clothes to be donated. I kept his uniforms for his parents, though. I took them over to their house before I tried to find you. There’s a moving trailer hooked up behind my SUV with everything I kept. I took off and drove all the way here in five days, only stopping when I couldn’t stay awake or to get gas. I gave my work notice as soon as I got back from the funeral and figured out I wanted to come back. I started looking for a job here after that and I have an interview at a hospital in Charlottesville next Tuesday,” she said between bites. She seemed to have everything planned out, only she didn’t mention where she’d be staying.

  “What about a place to live?” I asked, hoping I didn’t sound too nosy when I was only concerned.

  “I haven’t found a place yet. I found the inn online and figured I could stay there until I found something and could move in. I have some money in savings so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  Yet I didn’t want her to stay there for some reason. She had nightmares and shouldn’t have to go through that alone. She needed her sleep. Only I didn’t have the guts to ask her to stay here.

  “What are you interviewing for?” I asked, looking over to check on Grace who was almost finished with her breakfast. Once she was done we wouldn’t be able to talk like this. She was the only toddler that I’d seen who wouldn’t talk while she ate. She was serious about her food. Almost too serious.

  “I’m a registered nurse. It’s a great career to have I’m finding out. Especially when you move to a new place. There are several positions available for registered nurses within the Charlottesville area. I love helping people. The reward I feel when I help a person is worth the stress of the job. I’d rather work in the hospital, which is why I applied there first. I already had a phone interview, so the face to face interview should be a breeze. I just have to get the endorsement to work here, which I’ve already started filling out the paperwork for that,” she replied.

  I admired her strength to work in that type of situation. I couldn’t do it myself. Too much risk of seeing blood on a daily basis for me to handle. Thinking back, I’m shocked we were able to keep her away from Trenton while Davis performed CPR. She was trained in that type of situation, but it was too personal, even for her to partake in. Maybe that was the root of her nightmares. But that was for another conversation. One we could have without prying ears. Especially two-year-old ones.

  “More, Daddy,” Grace chimed from her highchair as she banged her bowl against the top.

  “More please,” I corrected as I took the bowl from her and got up to get her some more.

  “More eggs please,” she repeated looking down at her lap like she usually did when I told her to use her manners.

  “Here you go, pumpkin.”

  “Prize daddy,” she said, her mouth full of the eggs she just spooned into it.

  “No talking with your mouth full, Grace. Finish eating and I’ll tell you about the surprise,” I said, picking up my empty plate and half empty cup of coffee.

  I refreshed the cup and asked Delaney if she wanted more. When she declined, I walked over to the table and picked up her empty plate and placed it in the sink.

  “So what’s on the agenda today? I need to get over to the inn at some point and square away a room and take the moving trailer off the Jeep,” she said, taking a sip from her cup of coffee.

  “That’s part of the surprise Grace asked about. If you want to go and start getting ready, I’ll clean this up and get myself and her ready. I’m not going to tell her until I have her dressed and ready to go. That’ll spell disaster because she won’t want to get dressed. She’ll just want to leave,” I joked, getting up from the chair and walking over to the sink to start the dishes.

  “I don’t want to interrupt your family day. I can get what I need to get done and we can see each other in a few days.”

  I turned and gave her a questioning look, daring her to continue to try to get out of the plans we had for the day.

  Instead of trying to go against my word again, she asked what she needed to wear and fidgeted with the hands she’d laid in her lap.

  “I don’t know how hot it’s supposed to get today. Check the weather. We’re going to be outside, but that’s all I’ll tell you.”

  She leaned down and rummaged through her purse, and I assumed she was getting her phone to check.

  “It’s going to be eighty-three today. I’ll go get ready. I think I have what I’ll need in the bag I brought in last night,” she said.

  Before I could reply, she left the room.

  I hurried to finish cleaning up the kitchen so that I could get Grace ready. She wouldn’t remain patient for much longer in the highchair.

  “You ready to go get your clothes on?” I asked Grace after I finished wiping down the table.

  “Yay,” she said, banging her hands on the highchair lid.

  I wet a paper towel and wiped down her face and hands, and Grace fought me the entire time. She hated getting her face wiped off.

  I picked her up and set off to get us ready for the day, glad that the weather would allow for what I ha
d in mind.

  Thirty minutes later we were both dressed in jeans and t-shirts, and I’d put her hair in pigtails, upon her insistence.

  I walked toward the living room to search for Delaney, finding her in the same spot as the night before. She stared at the picture of all of us with such love and admiration, her hand against her chest as she held in the other emotions I’m sure she was feeling.

  “Are y’all ready to have fun?”

  Grace screamed her excitement, breaking Delaney from her thoughts. She turned and faced us, smiling, but it didn’t completely reach her eyes.

  “Of course. What are we doing today?” she asked as she tried to regain her composure from whatever thoughts she was having.

  “We’re going to pick some strawberries then go out for a late lunch. How does that sound, ladies?”

  I collected my keys, hat, and wallet from the table in the foyer. I put my wallet in my back pocket and my baseball hat on my head as I twirled the keys around one finger. Both Delaney and Grace were right behind me.

  I opened the door and made sure it was locked before walking outside and letting Delaney and Grace walk out in front of me. Delaney extended her hand to Grace to help her walk down the steps. Grace looked up at her and thought about it for a moment before smiling and grabbing her awaiting hand.

  I pulled the door shut, and unlocked the truck doors as I continued to watch them walk hand in hand down the sidewalk.

  Once we were all inside and secure, I started the truck and backed down the driveway.

  “Where exactly are we going to pick strawberries? I’ve never done that before,” Delaney asked as she stared out of the window.

  “There’s an orchard not far from here. I went there with my parents’ and siblings when I was younger. We had a blast. I want Grace to experience the same things I did growing up. I love it here,” I replied.

  She frowned, but only for a moment and replied, “It sounds like you had a wonderful childhood.”

  I agreed, with her and the rest of the ride to the orchard we made small talk about the country and all of its great qualities, at least my opinion of them.

  When we got the orchard, Grace tried to get out of her car seat, showing just how impatient she was to get out.

  I got out of the truck and walked around to get her out, only Delaney was setting her down on the ground by the time I’d gotten to the other side.

  “You ready, Daddy?” Grace asked as she reached for my hand, her other hand had ahold of Delaney’s.

  “Let’s go have some fun, girls,” I said enjoying the feeling of the summer sun beaming down and the smell of the outdoors around me. There was nothing better than being outdoors and seeing the smile on Grace’s face as we picked up the baskets and set out to pick strawberries.

  We walked up and down the aisles picking fruit as we went. Grace loved picking them and filling up the buckets. Her brows were furrowed and her lips tight as she concentrated while picking the berries. Each berry she picked, she had to make sure it was the one she wanted, sometimes taking a minute to make the decision. I loved her determination, even at her age, to do something her way, in her own time.

  “She seems to be having fun,” Delany pointed toward Grace, a half full bucket in her hand.

  “This is her second time coming. The first she won’t remember since she was barely a year old, and she didn’t get to participate. She’s always loved to be outside. When we lived in the city, she didn’t get to go outside like she does here and she’d get mad when we couldn’t go. Now she’s so much happier when she can just run around until she tires herself out. The adjustment with moving here wasn’t hard on her at all. She took to it like she’d lived here her whole life.”

  “Where’s her mom?” she asked, but turned to look the other way once the question escaped her lips. I looked over at her trying to see her facial expression and caught a small glimpse of guilt pass across her face. I could tell from that look alone that she felt sorry for prying.

  “You can ask. It’s okay. I just don’t want Grace to hear. She left one day and hasn’t come back. She signed her rights over without a second thought and walked away from me and her daughter,” I said, clenching my teeth in an attempt to hide my emotions regarding the topic. I didn’t want her to feel like she’d ruined our day by asking.

  “I don’t know what to say. That’s horrible,” she said through a gasp, pity crossing her features. I didn’t want nor need her pity. Neither did Grace. But I knew it was a normal reaction so I didn’t address it. Most people reacted the same way when I’d told them what Mackenzie had done.

  We continued to walk and pick berries down three more rows before our three baskets were full. Luckily, my mom and brothers knew that we’d planned on coming here so they could be prepared for the fruit they were about to receive.

  Grace looked like she was getting tuckered out from all of her concentrating and running around. I looked at my phone and noticed we’d been here for two hours. Time flies when you’re having fun.

  Grace walked along side us while we walked back to the front of the orchard to check out. Her steps faltered every once and a while causing me to pick up my pace so we could get her into the truck. She’d probably be asleep before we made it down the driveway that lead to the orchard.

  We checked out and walked back to the parking lot. I put the baskets of strawberries on the floorboard behind my seat and then walked around to put Grace in the truck. I buckled her in and grabbed her blanket and bear out of the bag on the floor. I was shocked she didn’t throw a fit when she didn’t have them while we were out there, but keeping her occupied had apparently helped.

  I climbed into the truck and pulled my phone out of my pocket, scrolling through the contacts. I planned on stopping by Vito’s, an Italian restaurant on the way back to my house, but Grace was almost asleep. Instead, I’d get it to go and we could have lunch at home.

  “What kind of Italian food do you like? I’m going to order something from the restaurant that I planned to take everyone to but get it to go instead,” I asked Delaney before I pressed send on the phone call.

  “If they have a steak and cheese sub, I’d love one with lettuce, tomato, onions, and a side of fries,” she replied.

  I called and placed our order and set off in the direction of the restaurant. The happiness of the memories we’d made today crossed my mind throughout the drive. So much so I almost passed the restaurant. If it wasn’t for Delaney seeing the sign, I probably would have.

  I rushed in and quickly came back out with our food, in a hurry to get Grace home and in her crib so she could finish out her nap.

  Twenty minutes later, we pulled into the driveway of our house. Pride filled my heart as I parked the truck, knowing I’d done it on my own for the most part. That I was making it past the heartache and pain of losing the woman I thought loved us both.

  I shook my head to clear my thoughts, refusing to allow her to ruin the day. Delaney grabbed the bag of food while I grabbed Grace and her bag, along with the blanket and bear I couldn’t forget.

  After I laid Grace down, I shut her door, careful not to make too much noise. I walked down the hall and into the kitchen, where Delaney had set out our food and was putting Grace’s chicken tenders in the refrigerator. It was only one o’clock, but it felt much later.

  We both ate in silence and before I knew it all of our food was gone. She stood and cleared the paper plates and threw them into the trash. I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie and she agreed. The relaxation would be welcomed since I’d been on the go since we moved in here.

  She found some mystery movie on the television and I stretched out on the bigger couch, thinking she’d lay on the oversized loveseat. Only she surprised me as she stood before me, questioning me with her eyes if she could join me. Instead of commenting on it, I lifted my arm, signaling my approval. She laid down in front of me and got comfortable. I pulled the blanket down on top of both of us and tried to concentrate on the mo
vie instead of the questions that tried to take over my thoughts. Her being in my arms was wrong, at least in this context. It was different, in my mind at least, when I was trying to comfort her from a nightmare. In this context, though, I felt guilty. Conflicted for an entirely different reason other than my ex. She was still his girl, yet she was here with me, in my arms, when she should’ve been in his. I laid my head down on the pillow and let my mind focus on the movie. These thoughts were for a time when she wasn’t around to cloud my judgment and possibly guess what I was thinking.

  I woke with a start trying to figure out where I was and why I was alone on the couch. The sun wasn’t shining through the windows anymore.

  How long had I slept?

  Oh shit.

  Grace.

  I didn’t hear her.

  Let alone anyone else in the house, and my heart rate instantly picked up for fear of what I’d find.

  I threw off the blanket and raced down the hall to her room, the last place I had left her. I threw the door open and halted my steps.

  Delaney and Grace both looked up at me and smiled.

  My daughter was sitting in her lap on the floor, her dolls spread out and all of the clothes that went along with them were strewn all over the place. Grace was in her pajamas.

  “We play, Daddy,” Grace said as she held up her doll for me to take. Only I couldn’t move. I was still focused on the fact that Grace was sitting in Delaney’s lap playing without a care in the world.

  I rubbed the back of my head and turned around, trying to contain my emotions. Grace had needed me for so long and her she was leaning on someone new. My heart jumped in my chest. Not out of sadness but joy. In my eyes, this was a turning point. She hadn’t let anyone but my parents’, not even my brothers, help her after she woke up since her mom left. And a woman she’d only met a couple of times was playing with her on the floor and helping her after her nap, for hours apparently since she was in her pajamas.

  Turning back around, I leaned up against the doorframe, continuing to watch them with each other.