The Journey To Become The Perfect Werewolf

by Olive P. Farley

  “Carrie,” he said quietly. “I think this wolf is feral.” I had no idea what that meant. “Stay behind me. In a second, we are both going to shift. Then, you run! You hear me?” He asked.

  “Yes.” I said in barely a whisper.

  “I can take him down but not if I have to worry about you.” He said. I nodded. The rogue wolf was still growling viciously, standing on top of the waterfall. We started to back away, moving into more shallow water. This seemed to enrage the wolf. His snarling increased and it was clearly trying to figure out the fastest way down so it could attack. When the water was down to our knees the rogue lost it and dove right into the water.

  “Now!” Gabriel shouted. I started to run, shifting as I did so. I saw the flash of silver fur and knew Gabriel had shifted as well. I could hear the growling and knew Gabriel was fighting the crazed rogue. I knew that Gabriel was stronger than this wolf but I still worried. My wolf whined, wanting to return and protect our mate. My anxiety was high. What would I do if something happened to Gabriel? The thought terrified me. I was about a half mile away and could still hear the fight. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to be sure Gabriel was okay. I turned around and ran back.

  As I neared, I moved into the woods, trying to stay hidden. Then I saw them. They looked like a ball of brown and silver fur. They were both moving so fast. My heart was still racing as I watched them fight. Gabriel's silver wolf pinned the rogue and my heart leapt thinking the fight was done. But the rogue was crazed and vicious. He snapped and fought. I could see Gabriel trying to get to the monster's neck but there was no way without getting bit himself. I could see that he had already been bitten a few times, blood staining his fur in a few places. It hurt to know he was injured and here I was just hiding in the bushes like a coward.

  Suddenly the beast beneath Gabriel snapped at Gabriel's paw and I heard him yelp as the monster bit down. Before I could even process it, the rogue had pinned Gabriel. No! My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest and fear sent more adrenaline rushing through my body. I had to get the wolf off of Gabriel, I thought. The wolf started snapping towards Gabriel's neck, desperate for contact. I couldn't take anymore and burst from my hiding place and snarled.

  The rogue's attention shifted, his crazed eyes were now pinned on me. The rogue moved quickly. I think Gabriel was shocked at what I had just done and it made him pause before realizing what was happening because the rogue was quickly off Gabriel and charging my way. Oh shit.

  Gabriel scrambled to get up and chase after the crazed rogue but his paw was injured and he wasn't fast enough. I realized I had two options at this point. Fight the rogue or run. As much as I wanted to just run, I worried that I might lead this monster to someone else. If I stayed and fought, then it would give Gabriel a second to catch up and kill the rogue. I took a defensive stance, waiting for the rogue to get to me. Gabriel was still trailing behind, desperately trying to catch up to the monster. The rogue smacked into me with a lot more force than I was expecting and before I knew it, I had been thrown a few feet. I landed on my back hard and whined. Then the monster was on top of me and I was pinned under him. This was bad. The rogue was frantically trying to get to my neck. He was growling and clawing at me as I used every ounce of my strength to get him off me or at least, keep him away from my neck. I felt his claws slice into my fur over and over and tried to claw him back. I could feel my claws breaking his skin but it didn't even phase the rogue. He continued to viciously attack. Finally Gabriel caught up and reached the distracted rogue. His large silver wolf bit the monster's neck. Blood squirted out as his teeth sank in and he pulled the rogue off of me and pinned him. Despite his injury the rogue continued to fight and claw. Gabriel bit down again and jerked his head. I heard a cracking sound as the rogue finally went limp and the growling stopped. Gabriel sat there catching his breath for a minute as I sat up and started to walk towards him. He must have felt me get closer and he turned and snarled at me, catching me by surprise. I whined in response. Gabriel was pissed. I was sure of that. I was about to shift so I could apologize or explain when a group of wolves came running up. I immediately recognized the black wolf as Jon. When they saw that Gabriel had already taken down the rogue, they shifted. Gabriel shifted as well and went to talk to Jon. I stayed back in my wolf form, I wasn't comfortable being naked in front of all these men. As Gabriel walked over to Jon, my heart contracted. He was covered in shallow cuts and bites. Blood was smeared over his body and I wasn't sure how much was even his blood. He was limping due to the injury on his ankle.

  “You okay?” Jon asked and Gabriel nodded. He glanced in my direction but there was no warmth in that glance. I whined. Gabriel had never been mad at me but I could tell he was livid that I had disobeyed him.

  “I've been better, but I'll live.” He responded.

  “What about your stray?” Jon said. The words cut me like a knife. It wasn't the first time Jon had said it but the other wolves snickered slightly and I knew he wasn't the only one who felt that way toward me. Gabriel's jaw tensed and I could see he was trying not to snap at Jon.

  “My MATE is fine. A little scratched up maybe but she'll heal.” He said through gritted teeth, putting emphasis on the word mate. Jon looked my way, disdain written all over his face.

  “Why did you let her fight that thing? She could have been killed. Not that I would have cared.” Jon responded. Gabriel was pissed now.

  “Stop being an asshole Jon.” He snarled and the other wolves gasped. I guessed that it wasn't normal for the alpha to be spoken to that way. Jon got close to Gabriel, practically in his face.

  “Are you challenging me?” He asked, his power basically oozing off of him.

  “No. You know I would never do that Jon but that doesn't mean you can keep treating my mate like trash.” He countered. I could tell Jon was about to say something but seemed to hold back. Jon ordered the other wolves to remove the rogue and then turned back to Gabriel.

  “She isn't fit to be a beta female.” He said.

  “Jon, I'm getting sick of this shit. She's MY mate! Stop. I don't give a damn if you like her or not.” He practically shouted the last part. Jon looked at me coldly again.

  “Well, you should care. Because I'm the alpha and your little stray will never be part of this pack.” He declared making Gabriel even more angry.

  “Then maybe you'll need to find a new beta too.” Gabriel said and I saw the shock register on Jon's face.

  “Is that so? You'd abandon your pack, lose your position, and go rogue for this?” He said gesturing to me.

  “I don't want to. But what choice are you leaving me, Jon? You say you won't accept her but you don't know her at all. Every second you've been near her all you've done is criticize her. She's my mate. You know how much that means. If you won't stop being an ass then I'll have no choice but to leave.” He said. I was immediately flooded by guilt. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. I was putting Gabriel's place and position in jeopardy.

  “You're the one choosing some rogue over your pack.” Jon snarled at Gabriel. “You want her in the pack? Fine. I'll give you three weeks to train your stray. Then she will have to prove herself in combat. If she loses, then she'll never be a part of this pack.” My heart dropped. Three weeks wasn't very long. We had just started training and the wolves here had been training all their lives. How could I possibly beat anyone?

  “Fuck you, Jon.” Gabriel said, sounding angry and sad at the same time. “We've been friends all our life. I would never treat your mate the way you're treating mine.”

  “My mate won't be some weak stray!” Jon snarled.

  “Really!? You sure about that? You haven't even met your mate. You don't know who or what she will be. Maybe she'll reject you when she realizes what an ass her mate is.” Jon let out a low growl, getting angry now. Gabriel glared in response, not backing down.

  “Disrespect me again and I'll consider it a challenge.” Jon spat.

  “You're a shi
tty friend and a shitty alpha.” Gabriel finally said and I saw Jon soften a little. “I'm still not challenging you Jon. Like I said, if you can't stop then I'll just leave.”

  “Then go.” Jon said and Gabriel now looked shocked and angry.

  “Fine.” Gabriel said. No, I thought. I couldn't let Gabriel do this. Without thinking, I shifted and ran over to Gabriel and Jon. My eyes were already filling with tears but I knew what I had to do.

  “Stop!” I said and both of them turned to me. I became painfully aware I was naked but so were Gabriel and Jon so I just tried to focus on what I needed to say. “I'll go. I don't want to do this to you Gabriel. Jon's right. I'm not fit to be part of the pack. I love you but I can't let you sacrifice all this for me.” I turned to Jon again. “I'll go.” I said again.

  Chapter 28

  I stood there for a moment, tears still running down my face. Gabriel turned to me and I could see the raw pain in his eyes and my heart contracted. I told myself this was better though. Whether I stayed or I went, Gabriel would get hurt. Either he would lose me, his mate, or he would lose his pack and family. I turned, getting ready to shift when I heard Gabriel call out.

  “Carrie, don't.” He said simply. I turned to look at him again and he had tears in his eyes too. A sob escaped my throat but I shook my head.

  “I can't do this to you. You deserve better. I'm sorry Gabriel.” My heart was breaking. I felt like it was shattering into a thousand pieces. My wolf was inwardly whining, very upset with the decision I had made. Gabriel walked to me slowly and I put my hand up, telling him to stay away.

  “Stop.” I said. I wanted nothing more than to just run into his arms. To kiss him, even just one last time. But I knew I couldn't. My resolve would crumble and I had to do this for Gabriel. I had always known it might come to this, I thought sadly.

  “Carrie.” Gabriel pleaded, his voice cracked. “I won't let you leave me.” He said. I couldn't take any more. The more he pleaded, the more I wanted to give in. I had to do this.

  “I'm sorry Gabriel. I love you. I can't ruin your life here though. Please don't try and stop me.” I said as I tried to control the sobs and I shifted and started running.

  Gabriel's POV

  I watched her shift and run away. I felt as if the blood had been drained from my body. She was leaving me. My wolf was urging me to chase after her. To make love to her and mark her and make her mine forever. I regretted that I hadn't marked her yet. I had been waiting because Carrie had been through so much. I didn't want to rush her and I could tell there were parts of herself she was still holding back from me. I had wanted her full trust before I marked her. I was an idiot.

  I dropped to my knees as her golden wolf faded out of sight. This couldn't be happening. A sob escaped my throat as I fought to control myself. I couldn't live without her. I couldn't.

  I heard Jon make a sound and I was suddenly filled with burning hot rage. I turned to him and glared.

  “Are you happy now!?” I asked him. I wanted to kill him right now, alpha or not. He at least looked uncomfortable. He looked down, not meeting my eyes. I was disgusted.

  “You've cost me everything.” I said my voice cracking again. “ I'm finished with you.” I spat.

  “What does that mean?” Jon questioned, looking concerned.

  “It means you went too far Jon. Now she's leaving. I love her. Do you even know how painful it is to have your mate leave you?” I looked at him and again he looked away.

  “I don't want to see you again. If that means I need to leave the pack, so be it. But from this day on, you're dead to me.” The anger drained from me, only the pain remaining. I had nothing left. Nothing. I turned and walked away and heard Jon let out a low growl.

  “ GABE!” He shouted, trying to use his alpha authority. I ignored him. “I COMMAND YOU TO STOP” he yelled. I could feel my body trying to obey but I fought it. I was done.

  “You no longer command me.” I said and shifted, running into the woods.

  Carrie's POV

  I made it back to the house and went inside to get dressed. I needed to hurry in case Gabriel followed me here. I threw on a t-shirt and some jeans and threw a few more outfits in a bag. I had considered just leaving the clothes. Gabriel had purchased them for me and I felt guilty taking them, but I needed them. Tears were still streaming down my face. I couldn't seem to stop them. My wolf and I were both in such pain.

  I finished packing my clothes and slipped on my shoes. I didn't want to leave. I looked around the room and couldn't help when a sob escaped. I was doing my best to hold it together but all I wanted to do was break down and cry my heart out. No time for that though. I left the pink room and glanced at Gabriel's room, thinking of when we made love the first time. I felt like my heart was dying. The pain was so unbearable. I sniffled and forced myself down the hallway and into the living room. I had so hoped this would be my home but I had no home.

  The realization that I would be alone again hit me. I wasn't sure what I was going to do but I'd figure it out. Maybe I would find a nice cliff to jump off, I thought darkly. I glanced around the room one more time. The pain in my chest was consuming. I grabbed my clothes and made it towards the front door. I opened the door and started to leave but someone was blocking my way.

  I looked up, both shocked and surprised. “What are you doing here?”

  Chapter 29

  I stood there waiting for an answer. He was the last person I wanted to see. Was he here to gloat? To gleefully help me leave as he so obviously wanted me to?

  “Just leave me alone, Jon. I'm leaving. You won.” I said trying to brush past him. His hand suddenly lashed out, grabbing my arm and I snapped. I turned around and slapped him in the face as hard as I could. His head snapped to the side and a red mark in the shape of my hand quickly appeared. He was clearly angry but I didn't care. He turned to me and rubbed his face. At first he seemed angry and then I watched him smirk. Seeing his smile sent me over the edge and I lashed out again trying to hit him.

  He quickly blocked my hits and grabbed my arms, stopping me from hitting him anymore.

  “I hate you!” I screamed as I broke down sobbing. I could no longer hold back, my control was gone. I was crying so hard I was gasping for breath and sunk to my knees. I felt as if my throat was closing and I couldn't breathe. Jon had let go of me when I went down to my knees and I steadied myself with my hands as choking sobs racked my body. I hadn't intended to cry like this. I had carefully controlled myself up until now. But seeing Jon had brought up so much anger and that had seemed to open the flood gates. It took me a few minutes to stop crying but I continued to gasp for air. That's when I felt Jon's hand on my back and I jumped away.

  “Don't touch me.” I practically shouted at him.

  “Carrie, please, hear me out.” He started but I cut him off.

  “There's nothing to say. I'm leaving, just like you wanted.” I again started to rush past him. This time he didn't touch me.

  “I don't want you to leave. Please stay, for Gabriel.” He said. I couldn't believe those words were even coming out of his mouth. So many thoughts and emotions were swirling around my head, I thought it might explode. Anger, confusion, heartache, a glimmer of hope. Suddenly I just felt exhausted. Drained. It had been a long day and the last hour had to have been the most painful and emotional time of my life. I wanted to scream at Jon. He had done everything he could to make it clear I wasn't welcome here. He had belittled me. He hadn't shown me an ounce of kindness. And now suddenly he was asking me to stay. Why?

  Jon's POV (Jump to earlier, After talking to Gabriel)

  I watched Gabe run away. I was pretty pissed he had disobeyed my command as Alpha. I'd been pretty pissed off for weeks if I was being honest. I wasn't really sure why but Gabe finding his mate had made me feel bitter and resentful. I had been short tempered and even cruel sometimes in the last few weeks. A few pack members had tried to check in, asking if I was okay. But I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't w
ant to think about it.

  Most of our lives, Gabe and I had been like brothers. We grew up together. I was a little bit older and it became clear,early on, that I would be the next Alpha. At one point, when Gabe's strength became apparent the elders had questioned if they had been wrong and Gabe was the next Alpha and not me. It had made me angry and I became slightly competitive with Gabe. In the end though, my alpha status was secured and when the previous Alpha decided to retire and join the elders, I took over with Gabe as my Beta.

  I was 19 then. I had been waiting for my mate for a year and now that I was officially Alpha I wanted to find my Luna., but I had never found her. After Gabe turned 18 he too had been hopeful but like me, he had been disappointed.

  The years passed and each year made me bitter as new wolves turned 18 and found their mates. Still Gabe and I didn't find ours. We were both frustrated and it was a point that bonded us closer. To distract ourselves we trained the pack. Tried to strengthen our borders and our pack. We had actually done very well and the pack was flourishing.

  Still, no mates. Gabe asked to start visiting other packs to see if he might find his mate there and I agreed. I started to do the same but we both came back empty handed each time, which only frustrated us further.

  Now I was 27 and my pack still didn't have a Luna. But Gabe had found Carrie. I guess I was jealous. He had his mate now and I was losing hope of ever finding mine. It didn't help that his mate was a rogue when we found her. Rogues were hated creatures for good reason. Though, Carrie didn't actually smell like a rogue. Her scent was off but she didn't have the putrid smell a rogue had. Maybe it was because she never had a pack so no connection had been severed. I didn't know and I really didn't care. I wanted to hate her. She had been raised by humans. Another point against her. Humans were despicable and selfish creatures. I had learned that at a young age.

  And to add insult to injury, Gabe had withdrawn from the pack since finding her. He said he wanted to get to know her. To let her heal and gain her trust. He tried to talk to me about how things were going but I hadn't been receptive.