The Journey To Become The Perfect Werewolf

by Olive P. Farley

  He said. After he finished fastening the necklace, he kissed my neck on my mark making me shiver.

  “Thank you.” I said, holding back tears. I was so touched by everything. It had been a long time since I had felt I had belonged anywhere and finally I felt like I belonged here. I looked around and saw everyone smiling and looking at me and Gabriel.

  “Thank you all!” I said as the tears started to fall. I couldn't help it. I was just overcome with emotion.

  “Oh, honey!” Debra said, rushing over and hugging me. “You're family now. We love you already!” I cried even more as she said it and she held me tighter. I really missed my Mom but it felt nice to feel loved by Gabriel's Mother.

  After I calmed down, the party quickly wrapped up. I thanked everyone profusely. When it was just Gabriel and I, he came over and kissed me.

  “Thank you.” I said to him. “I loved everything.”

  “I love you Carrie. I will do everything I can to make you happy.” He said. He held me and I laid my head on his shoulder. We stood there for a few minutes before Gabriel broke the silence.

  “Let's go home.” He said. I nodded and we left the cafe and drove back to the cottage.

  Chapter 35

  The next day Gabriel took me to town to use my gift cards. It was weird being in a town that was mostly human. It smelled different. It even felt different. For someone who had grown up among humans, I found it oddly comforting. Gabriel seemed to feel the opposite. I asked him about it and he told me he just wasn't used to being around so many humans but it was fine.

  Shopping was fun. I found a few pairs of boots. I actually spent more than what my gift card covered but Gabriel paid the difference. I had also found some yoga pants and a sports bra. Then I got a few more pairs of jeans and some cute sweaters.

  I was all set in the clothes department. I now had plenty of outfits. When Gabriel and I got home, I put all my clothes away and then found Gabriel.

  “Okay, time to teach me that mind blocking thing.” I said. Gabriel nodded but it was clear he wasn't listening to me. We were in the living room and Gabriel was watching some mindless action movie on TV.

  “So… are you going to teach me?” I asked. Again, he nodded absently. Okay. This was annoying. I decided to see how long he would tune me out while watching TV.

  “I was thinking we could also take off all our clothes and go streaking through the village.” Another nod. “Then we can give everyone a show, I mean since we'll already have our clothes off.” Another nod. Seriously!?

  I decided to just leave the room. He clearly wasn't paying attention to me. I wasn't really mad. I was just annoyed and also a little bored. Action movies were not my favorite and I couldn't think of what else I could do. I ended up in the pink room, looking around. I saw the bag with the phone Gabriel had bought for me and decided to go ahead and set it up. I hadn't needed it so I hadn't bothered up until now.

  It took a few minutes for the phone to load. I had to set a few preferences and then it was ready. I was surprised by how fast this phone was. I had a phone when I was 18, but it had been nowhere near this nice. I looked at various apps and saw Facebook. I hesitated. I had an account but it hadn't been used in years. I wasn't sure what I would find.

  I downloaded the app and waited. I decided to just look. On my page was my photo from over 3 years ago. I looked at it and sighed. I was so innocent. So naive then. Then I started to page down and was shocked to see the last few posts. The most recent was from Lacey. It was a tribute.

  “Carrie had been my best friend since childhood. I loved her as a sister. I still can't wrap my head around her being gone. She will be missed dearly.” My heart contracted. They thought I was dead? I guess I could see why. I mean how many other explanations could there be? I was in the room with Paul. The surveillance would have seen us both go into my room. Then my wolf came out and stormed through the institution. I guess they thought I had been killed too. At least I wasn't wanted for murdering Paul. One silver lining. I closed out the app. I wanted to message Lacey and tell her I was still alive but how would I explain that? I wasn't sure. Until I could figure out a plausible explanation, I would have to wait. I sat there for a few minutes absorbing this new information. If Lacey thought I was dead, so did my parents. Had they cared? Did they miss me? Were they all mourning me? I saw a tear drop onto my leg and realized I was crying. Again.

  Gabriel came into the room and came and hugged me. I assumed he had heard my thoughts. I just let him hold me while a few tears slipped down my face. I wasn't even sure what exactly I was sad about. Part of it was missing my parents and Lacey, I supposed. Thinking of them mourning my death was also a factor. Then I realized what thought upset me the most, what if they weren't mourning?

  Gabriel didn't say anything. He just held me.

  “I want to contact Lacey.” I told him. “I just don't know how to explain the wolf, or how I survived. Or where I've been.” Gabriel nodded.

  “I'm not sure either. But we'll think of something. I'll talk to John and see what he says.” He added. I nodded. I wasn't crying anymore.

  “Can you teach me how to block my thoughts now?” I asked again.

  “Now? I….uhhh…” He started. I looked at him and narrowed my eyes.

  “Were you ignoring me on purpose earlier!?” I asked. Gabriel looked flustered and I felt myself growing angry. “Why? You said you would teach me!” Gabriel was blushing and any other time I would have thought it was adorable, but right now I was too annoyed. Gabriel didn't answer my question which only angered me more.

  “Why won't you teach me!?” I nearly yelled.

  “I will…. I just didn't want to….yet.” He finally answered.

  “Why!?” I said again.

  “Because I like knowing what you're thinking! You were so hard to read when you first got here. I wasn't sure how you felt about anything. Even me. I never really knew where things stood. It's nice knowing exactly how you're feeling now.” I softened. I hadn't really thought of his side of all this. When I first came, I was very wary and untrusting. I didn't really know Gabriel and though I had felt drawn to him, I had been distant at first. I never considered how he must have felt. He had found his mate but wasn't sure how I felt that whole time. Even when we had started to bond, I had still held back part of myself, fearing it wouldn't last. I sat back down by Gabriel and took his hands in mine.

  “I know it must have been hard for you when I first got here but things are different now. I love you. You don't have to worry. Even if you don't know every random thought, you have felt my love for you. I promise I'm not going to pull away again or try to leave.” I finished. Gabriel looked at me and I could see the pain in his eyes. I had tried to leave multiple times and he had been secretly fearing I might try again. I kissed him and wrapped my arms around him and felt him take a breath as he finally let go of that worry.

  “I'm not going anywhere. I love you.” I told him silently. All I felt that moment was Gabriel's love for me. It flowed over me like a warm breeze. I focused on my feelings for Gabriel, willing him to feel my love for him too.

  Chapter 36

  “Am I doing it?” I asked. Gabriel had finally told me how to block my thoughts from being heard. It was all about putting up a barrier in your mind. You had to focus when you first started. Imagine a room or a wall and block anything from entering or leaving your mind.

  I had been practicing for an hour but I was struggling to keep Gabriel out.

  “Keep trying! How about I show you?” Gabriel offered.

  “Sure.” Couldn't hurt, right? I wasn't sure it would help me but we could try. I sat there focusing on Gabriel. I had never really tried to listen to his thoughts before. I had always just let them come to me. Either when he wanted me to or when he felt something strongly. Images started invading my mind and I realized they were Gabriel's thoughts.

  “Gabriel!!” I swatted him. His thoughts were making me blush furiously. I was seeing our love making but from h
is perspective. It was actually kinda hot but also weird to be seeing myself the way he saw me.

  I realized Gabriel was staring at me with a shocked expression.

  “What?” I asked. “You did that on purpose, right?” Gabriel shook his head.

  “Let's try again. Maybe I just wasn't focusing hard enough.” He said. I focused on Gabriel again, this time I saw visions of apple pie. His Grandmother's apple pie. I could smell it baking. I could taste it. I could feel how much Gabriel loved the pie. His ultimate comfort food. Gabriel looked at me, trying to figure out if I had read his thoughts.

  “I like apple pie too.” I finally said. Gabriel jumped up. He seemed kind of upset and I was a bit alarmed by his response.

  “What's wrong?” I asked.

  “I can't block you out!?” He answered.

  “Is that normal?” I asked. Gabriel shook his head.

  “No! I've never heard of anyone being able to read thoughts like that.” Gabriel answered.

  “Maybe I can't block you out either.” I suggested. Gabriel shook his head.

  “No. You already did a few times. It didn't last long but you did it.” Gabriel answered.

  “So, what does this mean?” I asked.

  “I have no idea.” He said, running his hands through his curls. This was clearly stressing him out in some way.

  “I'm sorry.” I said and Gabriel looked ate and frowned.

  “For what?” He asked, puzzled.

  “I don't know. For stressing you out?” I responded. Gabriel shook his head.

  “First of all,” Gabriel started, he walked over to me and took my face in his hands. “you have nothing to be sorry for. Secondly, while I am surprised and have no idea why, this isn't a bad thing.” He kissed me when he finished speaking.

  “So, what now?” I asked. I gave him another quick kiss.

  “I can ask Jon?” He said. I nodded. Gabriel pulled away and I saw his eyes cloud over.

  It was weird to see him talking to Jon through the mind link. He looked like he was in a trance. Gabriel returned to normal and looked at me.

  “Jon's nearby. He's going to stop by.” He said. I nodded and we both went and sat down in the living room and waited.

  Jon arrived a few minutes later. He came in and sat down with us.

  “What did you need to ask me about?” He asked Gabriel.

  “Well, I was teaching Carrie how to shield her thoughts. I tried to show her by shielding mine from her but I can't. She was still able to read my thoughts.” Jon looked at me and his eyebrow shot up. “Have you heard about something like this before?” Gabriel asked.

  “Yes. I have actually.” Jon replied. I could almost see the gears turning in his head.

  “I have heard of two instances of wolves being able to do this. There might be more though. I would have to ask the elders if they know of others. I heard of a wolf in another pack that seemed to have this as a special ability. Once a mind link was made, no one was able to block him out. It was a rumour though so I'm not sure if it was exaggerated and I have no idea who it was. I heard of another instance where an Alpha was able to do this. It was thought that his strength was why. No one in his pack was able to block him out. The only person who was able to block him out, later, was his son. That's why his Alpha blood was suspected, his son had Alpha blood too but didn't share his ability.”

  Jon finished.

  “So, it's some special ability and she could have Alpha blood?” Gabriel asked.

  “Possibly. Gabe, I don't really know. We don't know anything about her birth parents so it's hard to say.” He said. “I'm curious if she'll be able to do it with others when she joins the packs mind link.” I sat there absorbing Jon's words. So, I had a special ability and possibly Alpha blood. Now I was truly curious about who my birth parents were. It wasn't something I had ever given too much thought. As a child, I had felt so loved by my adoptive parents. I had wondered, of course, why my birth parents had given me up but had never put too much thought into who they were. My Mom had said it was a closed adoption and I had only been a few months old.

  I pulled myself out of my thoughts to find both Gabriel and Jon looking at me. I blushed. I hated being the center of attention.

  “So, you'll talk to the elders? See if you can find out anything?” I asked Jon. He nodded. I was feeling overwhelmed. I decided to go to our room and lay down. I got up and gave Gabriel a kiss. “I'm going to lay down for a little bit.” I told him.

  “Are you okay?” He asked, concerned. I nodded.

  “I just need to think.” I told him. “Thanks for coming over Jon.” I added. I went and laid down in Gabriel's room. I was starting to think of it as our room now. For the first time, I felt myself fantasizing about who my birth parents might be. Maybe they hadn't wanted to give me up. Maybe there was a reason. The more I fantasized, the more I realized one thing. I needed to know. I needed to know who they were. Were they still alive? Why had they given me up? I needed answers. I needed to find my birth parents.

  Chapter 37

  After Jon left, Gabriel and I talked for a while.

  “I think it would be a good idea to find your parents.” Gabriel said. I had already told him my thoughts on the matter. “Where do you think we should start?”

  “Maybe my adoption paperwork? See what we can find there.” I said. Gabriel nodded. I sighed. “I think I may need to find my adoptive parents too. See if they know anything.” I felt uncomfortable just saying that. It wasn't that I didn't want to see them, I did. I just didn't think they wanted to see me. Their rejection of me had been hard enough to accept. The idea of seeing them and being rejected face to face seemed unbearable. I decided that I would see what I could find and use that as last resort.

  “Let's see what we can find elsewhere. I don't really want to see my parents if I don't have to.” I admitted to Gabriel. It had been my idea but the second the words left my mouth, I just couldn't. Not yet.

  I decided to look online. Gabriel sat next to me as I researched. I thought adoption paperwork was public record so I figured it wouldn't be hard to find what I needed. I was wrong. I nearly cried when my search caused me to lose hope. Adoption records were sealed once the adoption was finalized. The only way I would be able to obtain them was through a court order. Since I was legally dead, I doubted that was an option. I pushed away from the computer and stormed off, leaving a confused and worried Gabriel to scramble after me.

  He found me in the living room, pacing back and forth.

  “Are you okay?” He asked me. I shook my head. I felt frustrated and just upset. I couldn't talk about it though. If I talked about it, I would cry, and I was sick of crying. I felt angry too. This shouldn't be so hard. I had a right to know this information. Now the only option was to see my adoptive parents. I would have to face them. See if they knew anything. If that got me nowhere, I would have to rectify my legal status and go through the courts. Only one thing was clear, this wasn't going to be easy.

  “I need to go for a run.” I told Gabriel. I didn't even wait for a reply. I just ran outside, stripped off my clothes and shifted. I ran and ran and ran. I ran until my lungs were burning. I ran until my wolf made me stop.

  “Carrie, you have to stop.” My wolf said to me. It stopped me in my tracks. I had heard my wolf many times over the years, but she had never spoken directly to me like this. I had always viewed my wolf as more of an inner dialogue. An instinct. A thought. But this time, it felt like a separate person.

  “You can talk to me?” I mentally asked.

  “I can now. Now that you know who I am. Now that you've accepted your wolf side.” She said. I sat there in shock. I was sitting here having a conversation with my wolf? I didn't know this was possible. Was I crazy?

  “You're not crazy and you never were, Carrie. You know that. Though I am sorry I took over that day and got you into so much trouble. We wolves have strong tempers and that Malorie human had it coming.” I didn't know what to say.

  “
Do you have a name?” I asked. This was so weird. Did other people hear their wolves this way?

  “Yes and yes.” She answered. “My name is Aeliana. Other's of your kind hear their wolves the same way. For them, it's once their wolves become present at 18. You were different. You didn't know what you were so I was suppressed.” My wolf explained.

  “Do you know anything about my birth parents?” I asked hopefully. It was worth a try.

  “I don't. I'm sorry. I only know what you know. But I know we are strong Carrie. Stronger than you know. You're special.”

  “Is that why Gabriel can't mind block me? Can I do other things?” I thought.

  “As I said, I only know what you know. We need to train. Only then can we discover what we are capable of.” Aeliana finished.

  I sat there for a while. I was absorbing all this new information. It was weird but comforting, finding out about Aeliana. It was like having a constant companion. I needed to tell Gabriel about this, I thought. I suddenly felt very guilty. I had stormed off and left Gabriel confused. I missed him already and could only wonder what he was feeling.

  I decided to head home. I ran home as fast as I could. I followed my own trail since I wasn't sure where I was. When I got back, I shifted and ran inside to find Gabriel. He was already in bed. Was he mad at me?

  I didn't bother to get dressed. I just got in bed and cuddled up to Gabriel. He had his back turned to me but as soon as he felt my warmth he turned around. I looked into his eyes and saw he was hurt.

  “I'm sorry I ran off like that. I was overwhelmed.” He nodded. I could tell he was still hurt though. I kissed him and he returned the kiss but pulled back.

  “You smell different.” He said. “It's driving my wolf insane.”

  “Something happened while I was gone.” I admitted. “I guess my wolf had been suppressed and she's not anymore.” I told him.

  “What do you mean suppressed?” He asked.

  “Well, this is all new to me. She's never talked directly to me before. She was always like a thought in the back of my head. Now she isn't. She's here. I can feel her.” I told him. “Her name is Aeliana.” I told him. “Does your wolf have a name?” I asked.