Tut--My Epic Battle to Save the World
Page 24
PROTECTION
• For your piece to be protected, it must be adjacent (numerically) to another of your own pieces. This works side by side horizontally and around corners if the corners are adjacent (for example, spaces 10 and 11 are adjacent, but spaces 9 and 12 are not. Also spaces 1 and 20 are not adjacent.).
• Pieces that are in the last four spaces (spaces 27–30) are no longer protected and can’t protect other pieces either.
SPECIAL SPACES
There are some special spaces with equally special rules.
• Space 15: The House of Second Life
• Space 26: The House of Beauty
All pieces must stop here on an EXACT throw of the sticks. This spot may never be skipped by any piece.
• Space 27: The House of Waters
If you land on this space, you lose any extra turn you may have had. Sorry!
If you’re starting your turn on this space, you don’t have to throw the sticks. You can move your piece to Space 15 if you want. If there is another piece already on Space 15, it gets moved BACK (numerically) to the first open space on the board.
If you want to try your luck and throw the sticks, you must throw a four (all light sides up). If you do throw the four (and trust me, the odds are against you), then your piece is off the board and you get your extra turn.
• Space 28: The House of Three Judges
A piece on this space can’t be moved forward or backward. Its only option is if you make an exact throw of three. Then it escapes the game board.
• Space 29: The House of Two Judges
A piece on this space can’t be moved forward or backward. Its only option is if you make an exact throw of two. Then it escapes the game board.
• Space 30: The House of Horus
Great luck! ANY throw gets a piece on this space off the game board.
See, I told you it was easy. Now go share the love of Senet with the world!
Visit www.pjhoover.com for a downloadable Senet board and printable instructions.
CARING FOR YOUR SUMERIAN MONSTER
You’ve read about all the fun I’ve had with Humbaba. Now you want a Sumerian monster of your own. I’ll tell it to you straight. Taking care of a Sumerian monster is no small task. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on your dreams. In fact, in order to help, I’ve come up with some of my best tips for caring for your Sumerian monster.
Potty training—Let’s start with the big one. Consider the mess that puppies can make. Now multiply that times one hundred. A Sumerian monster will need to be taught proper potty training. A big part of this is having a designated spot for your Sumerian monster to use the potty. I suggest the front yard of those neighbors who’ve been complaining about you walking across their grass or throwing the ball in their yard. That would be the perfect spot to train your Sumerian monster to use the potty. One look through the window at your Sumerian monster, and I’m pretty sure your neighbors will stay inside. Also, they should thank you. Monster dung makes great fertilizer.
Proper diet—Sure, every Sumerian monster loves doughnuts and cookies, but a diet of baked sweets won’t help him (or her) grow into the strong, healthy monster you want him to be. What every Sumerian monster needs is a proper diet. Start with the basics. Humbaba loves bacon, and I’m sure your Sumerian monster will, too. Protein is the most important part of any monster’s diet. But take care to make sure your Sumerian monster does not eat your neighbors. That may make them unhappy. I suggest an alternate protein source. Make friends with your local butcher. Find out what animals in your area are pesky and out of control (feral hogs? Coyotes?). Your Sumerian monster can become a problem solver and find dinner all at the same time!
Playtime—As far as high-energy pets go, a Sumerian monster tops the list. If your Sumerian monster isn’t eating or sleeping, then he will want to play! Be prepared for this playtime. Save up your energy. Make sure there is a park nearby with lots of space for running. And make sure you have running shoes. Also you’ll need toys. Normal puppy toys will not do. Your Sumerian monster will only eat these. When you are thinking toys, think big and tough. Fetching a stick? You’ll need a tree branch. Frisbee? A metal trash can lid will do. Squeaky toy? Keep your neighbors away from your Sumerian monster and use a giant clown doll instead. Making sure your monster has proper play toys will keep him from chasing cars instead.
Discipline—Don’t bother.
Sleeping—After a busy day playing, your Sumerian monster is going to want to sleep. Unless you want him crushing you in your bed, he’ll need a bed of his own. Doggie crates aren’t made in sizes that will fit your Sumerian monster. I wouldn’t suggest crating your monster anyway. This won’t make him happy and he may pee on you for revenge. Instead, a second mattress, on the floor near your bed, works best. I suggest a mattress protector since your Sumerian monster will drool a ton in his sleep.
Grooming—Your Sumerian monster loves to look his best, almost as much as he loves to roll in the mud. This is a problem because all that dirt could clog your pipes, which won’t make your parents happy at all. The best way to bathe your monster is with the garden hose. Or in your neighbor’s swimming pool (late at night is best, once your neighbor is asleep). Use plenty of soap, but watch for chemicals. They will only dry out your monster’s skin. Also, here’s a great tip for making your monster’s hair look its shiniest: coconut oil. It works like magic.
Treats—My only advice? Never run out of them.
Good luck with your Sumerian monster! I hope you’ll be the best of friends.
HENRY’S PHRONTISTERY
Hey, Tut fans! Henry Snider here. I asked Tut for ten pages at the end of the book where I could share all sorts of interesting information. He agreed to one. I’ll take it. It’s not every day I get to spread my knowledge across the world.
I offer up to you words that may come in useful when hanging out with an immortal teenage prior pharaoh.
apricate—to bask in the sun; if Apep has his way, we’ll never get to do this again!
dysania—when you have a hard time waking up in the morning; some mornings, especially on weekends during daylight savings time, this is totally me.
jettatura—the evil eye; Horus gives me this all the time.
octonocular—having eight eyes … like Igigi!
ophiomormous—snakelike.
phrontistery—a place for thinking or studying (kind of like school!)
podobromhydrosis—stinky feet.
serpivolant—flying serpent; yes, just like Apep.
That’s all we have time for! But I’d love to hear some of your favorite words. Connect with me through www.pjhoover.com.
TUT: PICK YOUR OWN QUEST GAME
You are about to embark on a great adventure as King Tut, Pharaoh of Egypt. Whatever you do, don’t turn back. Once you make a choice, it cannot be changed! One path may lead to you saving the world. Another may lead to your doom.
CHOOSE WISELY:)
It’s a big job being pharaoh, but somebody has to do it. And let’s face it, life as pharaoh is awesome. People treat you like a rock star! Still, forget taking nice, leisurely walks along the Nile River. Everyone bows to you and wants you to bless their children. But it’s good to be famous. You don’t mind the attention.
Yet deep in Egypt there is a conspiracy, and you are the only one who can get to the bottom of it. Your people are counting on you. Egypt is counting on you. And the gods are counting on you!
Visit www.pjhoover.com/tut_games.php to see if you have what it takes to save Egypt!
ALSO BY P. J. HOOVER
Solstice
Tut: The Story of My Immortal Life
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
P. J. HOOVER is the author of Solstice and Tut: The Story of my Immortal Life. P. J. wanted to be a Jedi, but when that didn’t work out, she became an electrical engineer instead. After a fifteen-year bout designing computer chips for a living, P. J. decided to start creating worlds of her own. When not writing, she s
pends time with her husband and two kids, and enjoys practicing kung fu, solving Rubik’s Cubes, watching Star Trek, and playing too many video games. P. J. is also a member of the Texas Sweethearts & Scoundrels. She lives in Austin, Texas.
For more information about P. J. (Tricia) Hoover, please visit her Web site: www.PJHoover.com, or sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
1. Where My Cat Conspires Against Me
2. Where I Go to Summer Camp
3. Where I Play with Fire
4. Where the Shabtis Try to Burn Me Alive
5. Where the Gods Vandalized D.C.
6. Where Gil Sends a Message
7. Where We Hack into Google Maps
8. Where Henry Loses at Scrabble
9. Where We Meet the Worst Bouncers in the Universe
10. Where We Spin Vinyl with a Sumerian God
11. Where Horus Tries to Kill Me
12. Where I Train a Monster
13. Where the Funhouse Isn’t so Fun
14. Where We Go Grave-Robbing with a Baboon
15. Where I Get My Worst Future Predicted at the House of the Dead
16. Where I Almost Go for a Swim
17. Where My Dog Gets a Bath
18. Where I Visit the Mother of All Plants
19. Where I Learn More Than I Ever Wanted to About White House China
20. Where Henry Makes a Trip to the Hospital
21. Where I Make a Solemn Vow in Exchange for Cookies
22. Where I Pick the Perfect Dish
23. Where I Make a Wager About the Fate of the World
24. Where My Dog Finishes Up My Dinner
25. Where I Fail in the Most Epic Way Possible
26. Where Snack Time Saves the World
27. Where the Fate of the World Comes in the Form of a Word
28. Where We Watch the Most Epic Fireworks in History
Acknowledgments
Glossary
Fun Extras
King Tut’s Most Excellent Guide to All Things Shabti
Senet for Dummies
Caring for Your Sumerian Monster
Henry’s Phrontistery
Tut: Pick Your Own Quest Game
Also by P. J. Hoover
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
TUT: MY EPIC BATTLE TO SAVE THE WORLD
Copyright © 2017 by Patricia Jedrziewski Hoover
All rights reserved.
Illustrations by Erik McKenney
Cover art by Antonio Javier Caparo
A Starscape Book
Published by Tom Doherty Associates
175 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010
www.tor-forge.com
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available upon request.
ISBN 978-0-7653-9082-0 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-0-7653-9084-4 (e-book)
e-ISBN 9780765390844
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First Edition: February 2017