Tut--My Epic Battle to Save the World
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“Fine,” I said, letting out an exasperated sigh. “But only for one day.”
“Every day for a week,” Henry said.
“No. Possible. Way.” I pulled the shirt over my head. I had to admit that it was a pretty nice fit.
“Red is definitely your color,” Tia said.
“Oh, and don’t forget that the next camp session starts up again on Monday,” Henry said.
“No more camp,” I said. “It was horrible.”
“Camp was fun,” Tia said. “Maybe I’ll go instead.”
“Oh,” I said. That certainly changed matters. “By ‘horrible,’ what I meant was that—”
“Shut up while you’re ahead, Tut,” Gil said. “And just say that you’ll go to camp.”
“Fine. I’ll go to camp,” I said. Tia better have been serious. Otherwise I’d just signed myself up for two more weeks of extracurricular tedium.
“Look what Thoth gave me.” Henry dropped a book onto the coffee table. A color-blind person would have recognized the bright yellow cover.
“Senet for Dummies,” I said. “I think Thoth is trying to send you a message.”
“Of course I’m trying to send him a message,” Thoth said, walking in next.
“What message?” I said.
Thoth grabbed a cookie off the platter. I resisted the urge to tell him to put it back.
“Henry will figure it out,” Thoth said. He looked around. “Horus isn’t back yet?”
“He went to check on those loser sons of his,” Gil said. “I still can’t believe Hapi was going to leave me for dead. I am going to find a way to get back at that monkey.”
“No, you’re not,” Horus said, sauntering in the window from the fire escape. “You’re going to be nice and civil.”
“Nice and civil,” Gil said. “Maybe after I pull his baboon teeth out.”
I didn’t say anything, but Gil had every right to be upset. Hapi wasn’t top on my list of favorite gods right now either.
Horus hissed. “You have no idea what I had to go through to get him to calm down.”
Nor did I want to.
“What about Imsety and Qeb?” I asked Horus. “They’re okay?” Last I had seen them, they were fighting the monster in the museum.
Horus licked at a paw and then jumped up onto the top of his scratching post so he could look down at all of us. “They’re fine. They fought the Crick. Crazy monster. I can’t imagine where Apep dug that thing up from.”
“I’m glad they’re okay,” I said.
“Well, they are mad at you, Tutankhamun,” Horus said.
“Me?” I’d saved the world. How could anyone be mad at me?
“You said you’d give the sun disk back,” Horus said.
“He’s not giving it back,” Tia piped up from the futon.
“I didn’t say he should,” Horus said. “I only said they were expecting Tut to. Keep that in mind next time you ask them for a favor. Oh, and they mentioned something about shaving your head in retribution.”
I smoothed my hair and hoped I wouldn’t have to ask them for any favors in the future, but with the search for Ra ahead, I had no idea what to expect.
We all went to watch the fireworks: Henry, my possibly immortal best friend; Gil, the best big brother in the entire universe; Horus, my grumpy cat god; Thoth, a god who seemed to have his sights set on Henry; Humbaba, my Sumerian monster-dog; Colonel Cody and twenty other of my valiant shabtis; and Tia. I still wasn’t sure what she really was. I’d thought she was just the unfortunate sister of the Cult of Set, but every time I talked to her, I was sure she was something more. I’d figure out what eventually.
We sat on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. Lieutenant Virgil had packed us a picnic basket full of scones. And even with everything that had gone on in the last couple weeks, the fireworks went off without a hitch. Things could go right every once in a while. Tia even reached over once the fireworks started and grabbed my hand, lacing her fingers through mine. It was without a doubt the best night of my life.
And as for finding Ra, I was formulating a plan. It was going to be brilliant. It was going to be perfect. I’d defeated Set and Apep both. Finding the hiding place of the most important Egyptian god in existence should be no problem.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To Susan Chang, Kathleen Doherty, and the entire amazing team at Tor, for giving the Boy King a chance …
To Tricia Lawrence, for believing in me and my potential …
To all the wonderful Texas librarians, for loving King Tut stuck in middle school as much as I do …
To my amazing writing friends, especially Jessica Lee Anderson, Christine Marciniak, fellow retreaters at the Lodge of Death, the Texas Sweethearts & Scoundrels, and Austin SCBWI, for your enthusiasm …
To my wonderful family, especially Riley, Zachary, Lola, Dad, and Mom, for your undying support and inspiration …
Thank you!
GLOSSARY
EGYPTIAN GODS
Ammut—crocodile goddess who devours unworthy hearts at the entrance to the Egyptian underworld
Amun/Amun Ra—king of the gods
Anubis—jackal-headed god of the underworld
Apep/Apophis—snake god who embodies chaos; Lord of Chaos; devours the sun each evening
Bast—cat goddess
Bes—god of luck
Duamutef (Dua)—jackal-headed god; one of four sons of Horus; in mummification, protected the stomach
Hapi—baboon-headed god; one of four sons of Horus; in mummification, protected the lungs
Hathor—goddess of love
Horus—son of Osiris and Isis; most often seen with a falcon head (but takes form of a cat in Tut: The Story of My Immortal Life and Tut: My Epic Battle to Save the World); lost one eye in fight with his uncle Set
Imsety—god (with a normal head); one of four sons of Horus; in mummification, protected the liver
Isis—mother goddess; mother of Horus; wife of Osiris
Khepri—dung beetle god who pushes the sun across the sky each day
Maat—goddess of justice and truth; judges the dead at entrance to Egyptian underworld
Nephthys—protective goddess of the dead; sister of Isis and Osiris; wife of Set; mother of Anubis
Osiris—god of fertility, death, and the afterlife; carries a crook and flail; most often depicted green and partially mummified
Qebehsenuef (Qeb)—falcon-headed god; one of four sons of Horus; in mummification, protected the intestines
Ra—god of the sun
Sekhmet—lion-headed goddess
Set—god of chaos, disorder, storms, and infertility; brother and slayer of Osiris
Thoth—god of writing, knowledge, and science; often has the head of an ibis
SUMERIAN GODS/MONSTERS
Anu—king of the gods
Enlil—god of storms and wind
Humbaba—monster from the Epic of Gilgamesh; Guardian of the Cedar Forest
Igigi—lesser/younger gods of Mesopotamia
Nergal—god of war and the sun
PEOPLE
Akhenaton—father of Tutankhamun; used to be known as Amenhotep IV; introduced monotheistic religion to Egypt, which made him really unpopular
Ay—advisor to Tutankhamun while he ruled Egypt; it is thought that Ay ruled Egypt after King Tut
Enkidu—best friend of Gilgamesh back in ancient Sumer
Gilgamesh (Gil)—former Sumerian king
Horemheb—commander in chief of the Egyptian army during Tutankhamun’s reign; advisor to Tutankhamun
Howard Carter—English archaeologist who discovered King Tut’s tomb in 1922
Smenkhkare (Smenk)—older brother of Tutankhamun
Tutankhamun (King Tut)—Egyptian pharaoh; often called the Boy King since he took the throne when he was only nine
PLACES
Fields of the Blessed—equivalent of heaven in the Egyptian afterlife
Valley of the Kings—valley in Egypt where over sixty
tombs have been discovered, many of these for pharaohs of the Egyptian New Kingdom
THINGS
Ankh—ancient Egyptian symbol which represents eternal life
Book of the Dead—ancient Egyptian funerary text containing spells to assist a dead person on their journey through the underworld and into the afterlife
Canopic jars—jars used during mummification to hold the liver, lungs, stomach, and intestines
Eye of Horus—ancient Egyptian symbol of protection, good health, and power
Sarcophagus—a funeral box, often carved of stone, which formed the outer layer of protection for a mummy
Shabti—small figures which were placed in tombs to act as servants for the dead person in the afterlife
Sun Disk of Ra—headdress worn by the god Ra
Tiet—ancient Egyptian symbol; often called “Knot of Isis”
KING TUT’S MOST EXCELLENT GUIDE TO ALL THINGS SHABTI
Three-hundred and sixty-five shabtis. It’s a lot to keep track of! I’m not kidding when I tell you that it took me years to keep them all straight. But I’ve gotten pretty good at telling them apart. My secret? It all comes down to finding one special thing beyond their painted exterior. One unique quality that sets them apart.
In the event you want to know more about the shabtis, I offer up this simple guide.
COLONEL CODY
I know, I know. A parent shouldn’t have a favorite kid. But it’s just that Colonel Cody has been with me through everything. When I almost lost him in the underworld … well, let’s just say that was a pretty low point in my immortal life. I don’t know what I would have done without him. Sure, he offers to end his existence if I imply in even the slightest way that something’s not quite perfect, but I find that kind of endearing.
• Appearance: Gold clothing and gold face
• Role: Leader of the shabtis
• Special info: Sometimes I’m sure Colonel Cody has telepathic abilities. He seriously knows what I’m thinking before I even do. But it’s not just me. He’s the same way with Gil, Henry, and even Horus. Also, Colonel Cody is part of a shabti poker group that meets in my hall closet on Wednesdays at midnight. He always wins. Always.
MAJOR REX
At times it feels like I can’t leave the townhouse without at least three shabtis in tow. Along with Colonel Cody, Majors Mack and Rex are almost never left behind.
• Appearance: Green clothing, golden arms, small sword and bow/arrows
• Role: Weapons specialist; first line of defense for the pharaoh; often placed in charge when Colonel Cody is gone
• Special info: Uses every opportunity to drill his troops on fighting techniques and battle maneuvers. Has ninja stealth skills. Practices kung fu. Can construct an arrow out of a toothpick in five seconds flat. Is often found reading The Art of War.
MAJOR MACK
Sure, Majors Rex and Mack are a ton alike, but if you spend more than five minutes with these guys, you’ll never confuse them again.
• Appearance: Green clothing, golden arms, small sword and bow/arrows
• Role: Member of the pharaoh’s special fighting unit
• Special info: Though skilled with both the sword and the bow, Major Mack definitely prefers the sword. His sword is pure black and named OBSIDIAN ANNIHILATION (he picked the name). When he thinks I’m not watching, he throws peanuts in the air and slices them in half.
LIEUTENANT ROY
My townhouse has got to be the cleanest place in all of the United States. Maybe even the world. But if you think there’s a cleaner place, please don’t tell Lieutenant Roy. He’s already way too concerned about every loose hair or speck of dust. Still, it’s nice to never worry about mildew in the bathroom.
• Appearance: Purple
• Role: Number one in charge of cleanup efforts around the townhouse
• Special info: Lieutenant Roy can smell dust. I’m not kidding. I see him sniff the air at least once every five minutes. Sometimes I even hear him when I’m sleeping. It kind of freaks me out. Please don’t tell him about that either.
LIEUTENANT VIRGIL
I will never starve to death—at least not so long as Lieutenant Virgil is around. And this scone thing he’s got going on … yum! In addition to scones, Lieutenant Virgil is all about snacks and appetizers. Some nights, for dinner, I have mini-quiches and cheese sticks. He also makes sure I never run out of ranch dressing.
• Appearance: Solid blue; often wears an apron and a chef hat
• Role: Drinks and snacks for the pharaoh
• Special info: His favorite day of the year is March 14, also known as Pi Day. This past March 14, he baked thirty-one pies, one for every day of the month. Henry and I tasted as many as we could, and then we finally convinced him to let us take some to the food bank. Lieutenant Virgil never realized what a great feeling it is to help those less fortunate. Now he makes ten pies a week that we deliver to the local soup kitchen.
LIEUTENANT LEON
If Lieutenant Virgil is more the snacks guy, then Lieutenant Leon is the shabti who makes sure I am properly nourished. I could eat nothing but scones and bacon all day long and be happy. I suggested this to Lieutenant Leon once. Big mistake. He got Captains Otis and Otto to print out a bunch of information on proper diet, and then he did a crash course in nutrition. Now he’s constantly rambling on about healthy living tips. He even keeps track of how many glasses of water I drink each day. I feel like a camel. Sometimes, when he’s not watching, I dump the water into the plants. Thankfully, just like me, he loves bacon.
• Appearance: Solid blue
• Role: Drinks and snacks for the pharaoh
• Special info: Plans to write a diet book, but claims he has writer’s block. His current working title is Build a Better Body with Bacon. I think it has huge potential.
CAPTAIN OTIS
The hardest thing about being immortal? Making sure one of my neighbors doesn’t walk up with a school yearbook from thirty years ago and point to my picture. Thankfully, I have Captain Otis. He’s managed to destroy all evidence of my past, including horrible yearbook pictures. He also took care of that awful mullet thing I had going on back in the eighties.
• Appearance: Silver clothing, silver skin
• Role: Lead hacker, computer expert
• Special info: Besides hacking, the thing Captain Otis loves the most is video games. He plays them constantly. His current favorite is Minecraft. He even created a server to go along with my stories. And he wrote a video game called Escape from King Tut’s Tomb. It’s really hard to get through all ten levels. You can find both on this really cool website he created, www.pjhoover.com.
CAPTAIN OTTO
Another hard thing about living an immortal life? I always need new documents to prove my existence. The world demands them. So every few years, Captain Otto makes me a new birth certificate. That and a social security card. I can’t get into school without either of them. Hmmm … maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
• Appearance: silver clothing, silver skin
• Role: Lead hacker, computer expert
• Special info: He spends hours watching movies and episodes of TV shows online. His favorite movies are those awful early horror movies, especially the mummy ones. Maybe it reminds him of all those years he was locked in my tomb.
NAME A SHABTI
Obviously, that’s not all of my shabtis. And as much fun as I’ve had naming them, I’m sort of running out of ideas. I could definitely use some name suggestions. So if you’ve got a great name for a shabti, connect with me through www.pjhoover.com and let me know what it is!
SENET FOR DUMMIES
Everyone loves board games, but people get sick of playing Monopoly and Scrabble. Why not introduce a new game to the mix (or in this case, an old game)? Senet! What? You don’t know how to play? Trust me, it’s easy. You’ll have no problem mastering it, and then you’ll be able to beat teach your friends. Think how impressed they’ll
be. Just a note that there are lots of different ways to play Senet. I’m showing my favorite below.
Fun Fact: Did you know another name for Senet is The Game of Passing Through the Netherworld?
THE GAME BOARD & PIECES
Your board should look something like this. Sketch it. Paint it. Draw it with Sharpie marker on your kitchen table. (Okay, don’t really do that last one.)
For the game pieces, coins work great. Go dig through your sofa cushions and find five pennies and five dimes. The dimes are the white pieces. The pennies are the black pieces. Arrange them with white and black alternating along the top of the game board (so space one gets a white piece, space two gets a black piece, and so on).
You’re supposed to have two-sided sticks, but in case you don’t, coins again work great. Find four coins that you can mark on. Take that same black Sharpie and color one side of each of the coins dark.
BASIC PLAY
Your goal is to get all your pieces off the game board first. White goes first. Toss the four sticks (or coins) and see how they land.
• 1 light side up—Move one piece 1 space and get an extra turn
• 2 light sides up—Move one piece 2 spaces
• 3 light sides up—Move one piece 3 spaces
• 4 light sides up—Move one piece 4 spaces and get an extra turn
• 0 light sides up—Move one piece 5 spaces and get an extra turn
RULES
• There can only be one piece per space.
• If you land on your opponent’s piece, that is an attack, and your pieces swap places unless your opponent’s piece is “protected” or unless it is in spaces 27–30.
• If a piece is attacked when it is in spaces 28–30 (by a piece in space 26), it is moved to Space 27 unless a piece is already in Space 27. Then the pieces swap as normal.
• You can’t land on a space with your own piece on it.
• You have to try to move forward first. If you can’t move forward, then you have to try to move backward, and you lose your extra turn (if you had one). If you can’t move backward either, then your turn is over, and you lose any extra turn you may have had.