We've Always Got New York

by Jill Knapp

  “I’ll have a Mojito,” I ordered, while testing out some of the bowling-ball choices. I wanted to find the lightest one possible to lower the risk of my injuring, or more likely, embarrassing myself.

  “That sounds good,” Hayden said with a nod. “I’ll have the same.”

  Hayden walked behind me and slid his arms around my waist. “Let me guess,” he said with a grin. “You’re going to pick that pink ball right there.”

  I turned around to face him. He was much taller than me, nearly a foot. I stood on my toes and gently pressed my lips against his. “And so what if I do?” I said in a mocking tone. “Maybe I like pink!” Or maybe the ball was only eight pounds and I didn’t feel like straining myself.

  “Well maybe I like pink too,” he effortlessly picked up the bowling ball with one hand. “Maybe this should be my ball for the evening.”

  “I’ll flip you for it,” I said with a straight face. “Heads, the ball’s mine.”

  Hayden laughed and leaned in for another kiss. “It’s all yours, beautiful.”

  I smiled triumphantly and took what was rightfully mine. “Let’s get this over with,” I uttered.

  “Not a fan of bowling?” he said, retrieving a heavier, neon-blue ball from the rack. The waitress came back around with our cocktails and softly placed them down on the small table by our lane, careful not to spill any.

  “No it’s not that,” I made my way up to the lane, holding the pink ball in both arms. “Just not very good at it.” I stopped behind the black line and let the person next to me bowl first. It was something I was taught when I was a child. Bowling etiquette. When the guy next to me was finished, I slipped my fingers into the three holes in the ball. I looked straight ahead at the ten, neatly stacked pins, and positioned myself in the center of the lane.

  “You can do it!” Hayden called out to me.

  Nervously, I pulled my right arm back, gripping the inside of the ball with my fingertips. I could touch the inside of the ball with my nails. It was an unpleasant feeling. With one forceful thrust, I rolled the ball down the alley. Despite all of the energy I put behind it, the ball moved slowly toward the pins. I didn’t even think it would make it all the way to the end of the lane, but it did. To my surprise, the ball collided with the pins, effortlessly knocking eight of them down. My eyes widened in shock, but I didn’t let Hayden see.

  “I thought you said you weren’t good at this?” Hayden folded his arms across his chest in mock annoyance. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

  I walked back toward him and took a sip of my drink. “I guess I’m better than I remembered.” I did an over-the-top hair flip and shot him a wink.

  My ball came back around and the machine spit it out onto the belt. I picked it back up and made my way back to the lane. In one smooth roll, I managed to knock over the two remaining pins. I couldn’t believe it; I wasn’t actually half bad. I turned back to Hayden, whose hands were now on his hips.

  “Are you trying to swindle me?” he joked. He typed my score into the computer and then lightly jogged over to where I was.

  “I would never do such a thing!” I put my hand on my chest and pretended to gasp.

  Hayden took my hand and walked me over to the chairs by the table with our drinks on it. He sat me down and smiled.

  “What are you smiling at?” I asked, grinning like a fool myself.

  “I like your hair like this,” he twisted a strand of blonde between his fingers. “I like it curly too, though.”

  “Thank you,” I smiled. “I was trying something new.”

  “Just for me?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eye.

  I nodded.

  “I really like spending time with you, Amalia,” he lifted my chin with the tip of his finger and lightly kissed me. Goosebumps shot up and down my arms as I leaned into his soft lips. “Would you want to stay the night at my apartment?”

  “Tonight?” I asked, leaning back in my chair.

  “Yes,” he muttered softly in my ear. “Tonight.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from saying yes. Hayden bit his bottom lip and I felt a rush of excitement wash over me.

  “I’ll stay with you tonight,” I said, standing back up. “But first, I think I’ll finish kicking your ass at bowling.”

  Chapter 22

  Olivia

  Monday morning I was enjoying a peaceful, solitary moment sitting on a bench in Washington Square Park, when I saw Amalia power-walking over to me. Her blonde curls bounced around her, as if independent from her body, as she picked up the pace.

  “Hey,” I said, moving over a bit to make room for her on the bench. “What’s going on?”

  “I had a feeling you’d be here,” she said with a huge grin on her face. “I have to tell you something.”

  “Okay?” I laughed at her joker-sized grinned. “What is it?”

  She looked back and forth, as if this was top-secret information. “I slept with Hayden after our date.” She clapped her hands together and let out a small laugh. The girl was downright giddy.

  “Finally!” I said.

  “What do you mean finally?” her voice growing louder. “We only went out on one date.”

  “Maybe officially,” I offered. “But the two of you have been playing cat and mouse with each other since last year. I’m just saying, it’s about time.”

  “Uh huh,” she reached down and took a sip from a Starbucks cup I just noticed she was carrying.

  “Are you ever without coffee?” I asked.

  “What kind of question is that?” she shook her head.

  “Alright, so back to the event,” I said. “How was it?”

  She smiled with the straw still in her mouth. “It was wonderful.”

  “Wow, really?”

  “It was soft and sweet, kind of like you see in the movies. I felt really safe,” she said. “Not that I usually feel unsafe when sleeping with guys. But he definitely went out of his way to make me happy. He didn’t make me feel like it was all about him, like so many guys do.”

  “Tell me about it,” I nodded. I had certainly been with my share of that type of guy. Luckily, Alex always made me feel safe and loved. “I’m really happy for you, Amalia. I think you found one of the good ones.”

  She just smiled and bounced around a bit more on the bench. I hoped this encounter finally meant Michael had been exorcized from her system. But something told me it wasn’t going to be that easy.

  A few weeks had passed and just as Dr. Greenfield was packing up the end of class for the day, he mournfully reported that our grades for our first exam would be posted outside in the hallway. Apparently, a few people didn’t do so well. After tracking down the chart and waiting in line to be able to view it, I slid my finger along where my student number was and followed it all the way to my grade. A-.

  “Alright!” I said. Alex was behind me and gave me a little squeeze. Then I stepped to the side, letting him stand in front of me to check his own score. He too slid his finger across the large paper posted on the wall. I couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder. To my delight, he received the same grade as me. He turned around and rewarded me with another hug, this time lifting my entire body off the floor. A few of the other students let out grunts, as they looked over their grades. A few others shook their heads at us for being so inappropriate. “This school has a giant stick up its ass,” I mumbled.

  “Tell me about it,” he nodded in agreement. He looked around for a moment and then whispered in my ear. “I wish I knew Michael’s student code so I could check his grade.”

  We made a beeline for the exit, our good grades making us anxious to get out of the building.

  “The two of you have always been in silent competition with each other, haven’t you?” I asked, giving him the side-eye.

  Alex just gave me a loaded look, confirming my suspicions.

  “Don’t even think about him,” I squeezed his hand twice. “You’ll get in no matter what!”
r />   “Get into what?” he asked.

  “To whatever doctoral program you apply to get into when we graduate,” I said with a smile. “What, you don’t think you will?”

  “Oh no, I know I will.”

  “There’s the cocky boy I know and love,” I laughed.

  “And what about you?” he asked. “Which programs will you be applying to? There are a lot of great doctoral programs right here in New York.”

  “I haven’t decided yet,” I dodged the question. Graduate school at NYU was stressful enough without having the added pressure of worrying about applying to another school next year. If I wanted to pursue my doctorate, I could always try to stay at NYU. Although, that wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded. I heard that last semester they only accepted nine people into the program I’d be applying for. Alex, as a man, already had an unfair advantage. Most of the students in my program were female. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of these negative thoughts and reached for his hand. “Now come on, we have to get to Bloomingdales before it gets insanely crowded.”

  “Why exactly do I need to accompany you on this trip?” he said in a faux sarcastic tone.

  I looked around the street to make sure there weren’t too many people around. When I knew the coast was clear, I stood up on my toes, craned my neck, and kissed him. First sweet and softly, then harder, with more passion. I pulled away just as I could tell he was getting into it, and gave him an innocent grin.

  “Because we need to pick out a present for Amalia’s birthday next week,” I replied, still grinning triumphantly. “Don’t forget, we’re all getting drinks together. Like we used to.”

  “You’re very manipulative,” he raised both eyebrows. Then pulled me in for another kiss.

  I gently swatted him off. “Come on, we have to go!”

  “As you wish, princess.”

  “Oh, very funny,” I grimaced. Just then my phone started to buzz. I reached for it from my purse, expecting it to be either Amalia or Angela.

  But it wasn’t. It was Nate.

  Alex reached over and took the still-vibrating phone out of my hands. As quickly as the smile had appeared on his face, it washed away. “Is this who I think it is? Why is your ex-boyfriend calling you?”

  I froze, unable to speak. I never told Alex that I ran into Nate. It seemed harmless at the time, honestly it still did. But now here it was, glowing on my phone. Something I had hidden. Even though it wasn’t a big deal, it was going to seem like one now.

  “He shouldn’t even still be in New York,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “What did you say?” Alex raised his eyebrows.

  The phone vibrated one more time and Alex raised his hand to answer it.

  “Don’t,” I said in a stern voice. “Just ignore it.”

  Alex’s mouth was pressed into a tight, straight line. He repeated his question, slower this time. “Why is your ex-boyfriend calling you?”

  I couldn’t really blame him for being angry. As far as he knew, Nate and I hadn’t spoken since college. I always said you couldn’t be friends with an ex, it just caused problems. These were clearly the problems I was referring to.

  “I don’t know,’ I answered softly.

  The phone stopped vibrating and Alex handed it back to me, scowling at it like it was a dirty bag of garbage.

  I gingerly removed it from his hands and tucked it back into my purse, the whole time thinking of what to say to him. I figured I might as well go with the truth. I really hadn’t done anything wrong.

  “Look,” I started speaking in a rapid tone. “I ran into him a few weeks ago the night I came looking for you. He was waiting on the train platform and we talked for all of five minutes. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

  “So then why is he calling you now?” Alex glared at me. “And why didn’t you just tell me you ran into him if it was so harmless. Do you still have feelings for him?”

  I winced at his accusation, but I wasn’t sure why. “I have no idea why he’s calling me now! And I didn’t tell you because it was nothing.”

  “You didn’t answer the most important question, Olivia,” he took a step toward me. He spoke in a calm, measured voice, but I could tell even talking about this was extremely upsetting to him. He took a deep breath and asked me again, more softly this time. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

  I paused. Just for a moment, but there it was. A pause long enough to confirm doubt. Long enough to make Alex question my true feelings for him. A pause long enough to make me question if just maybe he was right. I wanted to say something to him. Something comforting and reassuring, but I was too shocked to speak. For a brief moment I thought I saw tears in his eyes, but he reached for his aviator sunglasses so quickly I couldn’t really tell. We both stood in silence for a moment until Alex finally spoke, saying the last thing I could possibly want to hear.

  “Listen, Olivia,” he began, his painful serenade through a cracking voice. “I think we should spend some time apart.”

  And there it was. The kind of words that echo through you, that make you wish you could turn back time and relive the seconds right before. Make that last kiss last just a few moment longer, the last hug just a few beats tighter. My lips started to quiver and I glanced down at my hands, which had been shaking since this conversation began. He didn’t say anything else and neither did I. I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn’t make a sound. So instead of staying, he just lit up a cigarette, turned on his heel, and walked into the crowd. Within seconds he was no longer visible; Manhattan had swallowed him whole. Long, hot streams flowed down my cheeks, landing on my lips, on my clothes, in my hair. I didn’t have the energy to wipe them off.

  I stood a little longer. I was not exactly sure how much time had passed. Minutes, maybe half an hour. I pulled a pocket mirror out of my purse and did my best to fix my face. I switched the mirror out of my cigarettes, and lit one up. Savoring the sting, followed by the sweet relaxation it quickly offered in return. There was no way I was making it to Bloomingdales this afternoon. Amalia could do with a gift card, I resolved. I pulled out my own over-sized Michael Kors sunglasses to cover up my puffy face and numbly made my way home.

  Chapter 23

  Amalia

  “I don’t know what happened between them,” I paused to sip my birthday cosmopolitan. “She hasn’t told me much, and it does seem really out of nowhere. I don’t even think they’ve spoken since they broke up.”

  “It’s just a little odd,” Hayden nodded. “From what you’ve told me, Olivia and Alex seemed like the perfect couple. Why would they just break up out of the blue like that?

  “Beats me!” I shrugged. “Maybe I can try to get some information out of her after she’s had a few drinks.

  A few weeks after Olivia and Alex’s unexpected uncoupling, Hayden and I were sitting up at the bar at a local watering hole called the High Point. I had never been there before, but a few of the other students frequented this place, and I figured it was low-key enough to have a few birthday drinks. After all, anything would be better than the surprise party from hell that Cassandra threw for me last year. It was sheer luck that my birthday happened to fall on a Friday this year, and everyone who I invited out said they could make it. Which to my amazement, included Cassie. It was a relatively nice night for October, the bitter wind seemed to hold off just long enough so I could enjoy turning 24. It was now 9 pm, about half an hour before everyone else was supposed to arrive. Hayden wanted to buy me my first drink of the night and insisted on it being a Cosmopolitan. He hadn’t ordered anything himself yet; he just sat and watched as I struggled with my pinkish-red cocktail.

  “Why am I drinking this again?” I twirled the stem of a maraschino cherry that I had already eaten around in my drink. Over the small crowd I could hear “1979” by the Smashing Pumpkins playing in the background.

  “I saw it on an episode of Sex and the City once,” he shrugged. “I thought you might like it. Plus it’s magenta-color
ed and there’s even an orange wedge. It looks festive.”

  “Just once, though, right?” I lightly teased. “You only watched Sex and the City once?

  “I’ll let you tease me, because it’s your birthday.”

  “I love the show, the drink, however, is not really my taste,” I grimaced.

  “Let me have a sip,” he plucked the glass from my hand. “How bad can it be?”

  “Brace yourself, partner.”

  Hayden slowly sipped the liquid and immediately recoiled in disgust. “Oh my God, it tastes like a Rainbow Brite doll!”

  I gave him an all-knowing grin and motioned for the bartender. “Jack and ginger, please.” The bartender nodded and turned to Hayden.

  “Bourbon,” he coughed, sliding the Cosmo back to the bartender. “Straight.”

  I patted him on the back and pretended to console him. He regained his composure and pulled me in for a kiss. I kissed him back, but then playfully pushed him off.

  “No kissing, you have Cosmo-breath!” I joked.

  “Fine, no kissing,” he said, pretending to be offended. Then he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small, rectangular box wrapped neatly with pink and gold wrapping paper. “Can it be time for presents instead?”

  For a moment, my heart stopped. I swear, just one beat missed. Time stood still for one, entire, second. I don’t know why I felt nervous. From the shape of the box I could tell it wasn’t anything to sweat over. It wasn’t an engagement ring. But still, I felt my stomach drop. Hayden and I hadn’t even had the conversation about being exclusive and here before me sat a gift that was, by the looks of it, either a bracelet or a necklace. The fact of the matter was, no man had ever bought jewelry for me before, apart from my dad when I was a child. I gingerly took the perfectly wrapped gift from Hayden’s hand and stared at it.