We've Always Got New York

by Jill Knapp

  We jogged until we were around the corner and completely out of sight from the bar. Olivia bent down and hugged herself. She slowly sat on the pavement and burst into tears. I bent down beside her and gently stroked her hair.

  “It’s okay,” I said in a comforting tone. “It’s over now.”

  I saw a male figure round the corner and thought it was the guy coming back for seconds. I felt my blood run cold, but once the guy came into view, I realized the blonde hair belonged to my brother.

  “Oh my God,” he puffed. “All I saw was Michael punch some guy. Are you girls alright?”

  I nodded, still bent over, but motioned toward Olivia. She was clearly not alright.

  I looked up at Michael, his lip was puffy and there was a bluish bruise forming on the left side of his jaw. “Thank you,” I uttered.

  “Of course,” he said. “What a piece of shit that guy was. I swear if I ever see him again-”

  “Just be glad it’s done with,” Hayden cut in. “You did the right thing, man.”

  “Thanks,” Michael uttered.

  Olivia was still crying on the ground, moaning drunkenly about Alex and how she wanted to go home. I stroked her hair again and looked back up at the guys.

  “Michael,” I said. “Do you think you can make sure she gets home safely?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll go with you too,” Aaron offered.

  Hayden, Aaron, and I helped Olivia to her feet as Michael stood by the corner, desperately trying to hail a cab.

  “I ruined your birthday,” she mumbled. “I’m so sorry.”

  “No,” I answered quickly. “You didn’t ruin anything. Don’t say that. I am just glad you’re okay.”

  A cab rolled up and without unlocking its doors asked Michael where he was headed. I could just barely make out the cab driver’s face as he shook his head, indicating that he, like most cab drivers, was not up for making the trip to Brooklyn.

  “Look, I don’t care if you don’t want to drive to Brooklyn!” Michael shouted. I recoiled a bit. I had never heard him raise his voice before. “This is an emergency. She needs to get home.”

  The cab driver thought about it for a moment and then unlocked his doors. Michael opened the back door and he and Aaron carefully placed Olivia into the back seat. Aaron sat next to her and Michael slid next to him.

  “Thank you,” I called out. Michael just nodded.

  “I’ll text you when we get to her apartment,” Aaron declared. A few seconds later, the cab driver pulled away.

  I breathed a sigh of relief and let my head fall into my hands. “What in the world just happened?” I uttered silently.

  Hayden pulled me in for a hug and just held me. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, scared for my friend. Freaked-out from what I had just witnessed, but I tried to hold it together.

  “Do you want me to take you home?” Hayden asked, still holding me tightly.

  “I don’t want to go there,” I said, still shaken up from what happened at the bar. “I want to go to your apartment.”

  “Whatever you want, birthday girl.” Hayden unlocked his arms and stepped to the corner to hail a cab.

  “Yeah,” I snickered. “Some fucking birthday.”

  “I’m sorry it ended like this,” he said. “Let me take you to brunch tomorrow. Just you and me.”

  “That would be nice,” I forced a smile.

  We stood impatiently in the chilly fall air for about ten minutes until a cab finally pulled over. Hayden gave him his address, and being that it was within the city limits, the cab driver didn’t give him a hard time. He held the door open for me and I slid across the tattered back seat. He reached for my hand and I could feel his eyes on me as I stared out the window. I kept my eyes straight, staring out the window the entire time, until we reached his apartment.

  Chapter 24

  Olivia

  “Are you going to that big parade they have in the Village every year?” my dad asked.

  I was lying in a robe on my couch, slowly sipping a glass of water. My dad had called me to see how I was doing. He was always good like that; always looking out for me. Even though my mother and I have a strained relationship, I knew I could always count on my father. I told him about Alex. How we broke up. How I felt as if it was my fault. And how I hadn’t left the apartment, with the exception of going to class, since Amalia’s birthday. More than two weeks had passed since then, and today was Halloween. It was also the last day to apply for Dr. Greenfield’s work-study program. I had the paperwork all filled out and, come hell or high water, I was handing in my application today after class.

  “No, I think I am going to skip it this year,” I replied.

  “You really should get out and have some fun,” he said. “I don’t like the idea of you cooped up in that apartment all by yourself.” I could hear the sadness in his voice.

  I didn’t want to tell my dad that the last time I went out and tried to have fun, a certain frat-looking guy had gotten a little too hands-on with me. I was in a crappy mood because the truth was, I usually loved watching the Halloween parade in the Village. But this year I just couldn’t find the energy to go out. I was still embarrassed from what happened at Amalia’s birthday party. The guys had gotten me home safe that night, and I woke up to find Aaron asleep on my couch. I thanked him profusely for watching out for me and he told me I did him a favor by not making him spend money on a hotel room that night.

  “I’m alright,” I uttered. “I have to go to class today anyway and I’ll probably be too exhausted from doing schoolwork to go out tonight.”

  “Just try to do something fun this weekend, okay?”

  I smiled. My dad knew the right thing to say. He didn’t push me for details on my and Alex’s break-up, but I still knew he was there for me anytime I needed him. My mom and I only talked every couple of months. We didn’t have a very close relationship. In some ways, I think she was envious of my and my father’s closeness.

  “I’ll try,” I said. “What about you? When are you going to find yourself a nice woman to date?”

  My dad started stammering into the phone, like he always did when I teased him about dating. He and my mom had been divorced for a very long time, but he still didn’t like to talk to me about the women he went out with. I guess I didn’t really need to hear all of it. I just wanted my dad to find someone to make him happy.

  “I’m not seeing anyone right now,” he said quickly.

  “I’m just teasing you, Dad.”

  “I know you are. I just don’t want you to worry about me. I’m fine on my own. Oh and sweetheart, I know it’s not my place,” he began. “But if you really feel like this Alex guy is the one for you, then you should try to make it work.”

  The only communication Alex and I had had in the past month was when I dropped my pen walking to my seat in class and he picked it up for me. He no longer sat in our row. It was unbearable to see him nearly every day and not be able to talk to him. I was starting to think my dad was right. I had done enough sulking. Alex had to know that Nate was nothing to me. He had to know I knew I was wrong for hiding it from him, and that I missed him every single day.

  “Thanks, Dad,” I forced a smile. “I may just do that.”

  I got to Dr. Greenfield’s class five minutes before it began. Surprisingly, there were a lot of empty seats. I walked toward the middle rows, where my friends usually took over. As I tiptoed closer, I noticed that Alex once again wasn’t sitting with them. Michael was seated in between Angela and Amalia, who was busy texting someone. Since our break-up, Alex had opted to sit in the back. Easier to sneak in and out, I suppose. I scanned the room looking for him; he hadn’t arrived yet. Walking back out of the classroom, I stood in the hallway, deciding I would cut him off at the entrance.

  A minute later I heard the ding of the elevator and out stepped Alex. He was dressed nicely, wearing his usual dark-wash jeans and a designer button-down, but his eyes were worn out, and his hair was
a mess. He noticed me and put his head down, crossing over to the classroom entrance.

  “Hey,” I uttered.

  He stopped in his tracks. Still looking down, he didn’t answer me. Finally he cleared his throat and said hi.

  “Listen,” I said, trying to sound as sweet as possible. “I was hoping you and I could talk.”

  “Talk about what?” he asked sharply. Still looking down. In the background we could hear Dr. Greenfield’s voice booming over the microphone. My anxiety kicked up a notch as I realized I was most likely going to be late for class.

  “I wanted to talk to you about us,” I uttered.

  “What about us?” he asked, softer now. He looked up at me and pursed his lips.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Can we please talk about what happened? Face to face?”

  Alex just stood there for a moment. Someone from one of the back rows stood up to close the classroom doors. He noticed Alex and I standing there and asked if we were in or out.

  “We’re coming,” Alex snapped. The guy stepped back and put up both of his hands as he returned to his seat.

  “So what do you say?” I asked again. “How’s tomorrow?”

  “Sure,” he finally answered. “Come by my apartment around 8.”

  “Perfect,” I said. I felt like jumping for joy, but I restrained myself. Alex made an “after you” motion with his hand and I walked into the classroom.

  I looked back, expecting him to follow me to the middle row where our friends were seated, but he stayed in the back. Baby steps, I thought as I took an empty seat next to Angela.

  “You’re late,” she whispered.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “It was worth it.”

  The next night I splurged for a cab and rode it all the way from Park Slope to Roosevelt Island. I had barely gone out the past few weeks, so I had the extra cash. I was shocked that the cab driver had agreed to go that far, but I told him I’d tip him very well if he didn’t make me take the subway. I slipped him forty bucks when we pulled up to Alex’s apartment building.

  I hadn’t even realized I was holding my breath until I let out a long, breathy sigh. I was so nervous to see him. I smoothed over my dress and my hair as I stepped out of the cab. Taking the deepest of breaths I immediately craved a cigarette. Shaking it off, I fought past the craving. I wanted to arrive smelling like my new Marc Jacobs perfume, not like an ashtray. When I reached Alex’s apartment, I put my hand into my purse to retrieve the key he gave me halfway into our relationship, but then stopped myself. I hadn’t given the key back because I was holding out hope that we’d get back together. Still, we had broken up. I had no right to just walk into his home anymore. So I rolled my hand into a fist and for the first time in over six months knocked on Alex’s door.

  He waited a few seconds before letting me in.

  “It was open,” he said.

  “I didn’t want to just impose,” I uttered.

  “No imposition,” he replied, flatly. He looked very serious, and I couldn’t tell if he actually wanted me in his apartment or not. He walked over to the counter, where two wine glasses were waiting. “Would you like a glass?”

  “Definitely,” I said, placing my purse up on the counter. I silently willed my heartbeat to slow down.

  Alex poured us both a glass of Pinot Noir and gave me a weak smile. It was incredibly awkward. I numbly followed him to the couch, where he immediately put down his wine glass and lit up a cigarette. So much for not smelling like an ashtray.

  “Olivia,” he said. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  I looked down for a moment and began to wonder if I had made the wrong choice coming here. Alex was acting so cold. So distant.

  “I actually came here to apologize,” I said without looking at him.

  Alex said nothing. He pulled another drag of his cigarette and swirled his Pinot around in his chalice-sized glass. I figured by the way he was acting I had nothing to lose.

  “Alex,” I said, directly facing him this time. “I’m in love with you and I miss you.”

  He stopped swirling and finally caught my eye. The moment he looked at me I started to cry.

  “I should have told you about running into Nate,” I said through sobs. “But all of that’s in my past. I’m not that person anymore.”

  “What person?” he asked quietly.

  “The person who lets themselves get dragged around by some guy just because the sex is good.”

  Alex’s eyes went wide.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, lightly hitting myself on the head. “I know that sounds crude, but that’s who I used to be.”

  Alex put out his cigarette and I took the opportunity to reach for his hands.

  “I thought I loved Nate. I thought all of the fighting, the sneaking around, and the passion was because we were in love. I thought that’s what love was. But I could not have been more wrong.”

  For a moment, I thought I saw Alex’s eyes start to well up. “Go on,” he said.

  “I think us girls get confused by it. But that’s not what love is. Love is knowing someone is going to be there for you on your worst days. It’s when you know that someone truly is busy if they don’t contact you all day because they would never play games with you. Most importantly, love is what I have with you. So, Alex, please tell me that you still love me.”

  Without missing a beat he answered, “I never stopped. I just thought I couldn’t compete with what you two had in your past.”

  “I don’t care about him,” I said. I realized that sounded harsh, but it was true. “I just want us to get back together.”

  Before I could say another word, Alex kissed me. I started to cry harder, and he picked up his hand and wiped away my tears.

  “I have always loved you, Olivia.”

  I lightly pressed my forehead against his, still gripping tightly onto his hands.

  “Let’s go away somewhere,” he said.

  “What?” I laughed. “Where?”

  “Anywhere,” he kissed me. “Let’s take a cab to La Guardia and go somewhere tonight. Just you and me. It’s Thursday night and we don’t have classes on Fridays. We’ll come back Sunday evening. You won’t miss anything.”

  “I don’t want to miss anything ever again,” I replied, but I wasn’t talking about school.

  “Miami,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s only a three-hour flight.”

  “I’ll go anywhere with you,” I smiled. I was nodding so hard my entire body was shaking.

  Neither of us said another word. I grabbed my purse off the kitchen table and laughed as Alex haphazardly threw clothes into a duffle bag. When he was finished, he grabbed my hand and we raced downstairs, hailing the first cab we saw.

  Chapter 25

  Amalia

  I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee, which was odd because I didn’t own a coffee-maker. By the beginning of November, I was finally unpacked, furnished (barely), and no longer living like a crazy bag lady. And last night, for the first time since we started dating, I let Hayden spend the night at my place. After seeing Michael at my birthday party, I was trying my best to put any thoughts about him out of my mind. It was much easier to do when Hayden was around.

  I sat up in bed and stretched out. My shades had already been opened, as was the door to my bedroom. Slipping on some socks, I made my way into my tiny hallway, where Hayden stood holding two cups of coffee and a copy of the New York Times.

  “I thought I smelled coffee,” I said through a groggy voice, as he handed me a cup. “I see you got the paper.”

  Hayden and I walked over to my new couch, which I ended up getting on sale at Target. I pulled my five-dollar, geometric-print pillow up to my chest and yawned. He flipped through the pages until he reached the wedding section.

  “My cousin submitted her wedding announcement a long time ago and I wanted to check if she got in,” his eyes scanned the paper. Getting your wedding announced in the New York Times was very important
to New Yorkers. The rumor was, you’d have an easier time getting struck by lightning than having your announcement printed in their Sunday edition. “Ah! Here it is!” He hit the paper with his hand and laughed.

  “You didn’t go to the wedding?” I asked.

  “I couldn’t get the time off of work unfortunately,” he shrugged.

  I peered over his shoulder and read the blurb. The couple’s picture was identical to every other. The two of them were seated, their shoulders were perfectly aligned, and their heads were somehow, despite any height differences, at the same level.

  “Lucky bitch,” I joked as I sipped my coffee.

  “Seriously,” he laughed, as he folded the paper and tossed it back on the table.

  I scanned the paragraph under their picture. “Can you imagine having such a huge wedding?” I asked. “That announcement said she had about 350 guests. I don’t even know that many people.”

  “No way,” he agreed. “When I get married, I want it to be quiet. Just close friends and family. Maybe somewhere with a beach.

  “That sounds lovely,” I nodded. “I’ve never been one for big spectacles.”

  “Speaking of relationships, how are Olivia and Alex doing?”

  “They’re great,” I said with a chuckle. “They’re back from Miami now. Can you believe they just grabbed the first flight out completely spontaneously?”

  “What did she do for clothes?”

  “He bought her clothes when they landed!” I laughed. “The whole thing is like out of a movie. It must be nice to be rich.”

  “Is she rich?” he asked.

  “No,” I shook my head. “Alex is rich. Well, his family is anyway.”

  “Right.” Hayden put his coffee down and turned to me. “So not to change the subject, but I was wondering what your plans were for Thanksgiving?”

  “Well, nothing big,” I answered. “I’m just going to go to my parents’ house in Staten Island. I’m sure Aaron will be there too. Like I said, I’m not one for big spectacles.”