Wanting Shaw

by Terri Anne Browning

  “What are you so happy about?”

  He lifted his head and then slowly turned his gaze from his phone to me. “Hm? Oh, nothing. Just planning a few parties of my own in my new place.”

  “You found an apartment already?” Mom asked. “Don’t you think Dad or I should look this place over before you sign any contracts?”

  “I’m not signing a contract yet,” he assured her. “A friend of mine has a spare room he’s letting me crash in until I decide if it’s going to be a good fit or not.”

  “Smart thinking,” Dad said with approval. “But if that doesn’t work out, we’ll find something else. I heard there is another apartment up for sale in Jagger’s building. It’s a few floors up from his place, but Emmie said it is just as big and comes fully furnished.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said, his smugness only growing.

  Mom was watching him with a frown, making me think she was suspicious about something. “Which friend is it? Smith?”

  “Nope.” He turned his gaze back to his phone. “Jagger.”

  I choked on the piece of popcorn I’d been about to swallow. Coughing, I tried to dislodge it, and Mom started pounding me on the back to help. When it was finally free and I could breathe again, I glared at my brother through watery eyes. “Liar,” I wheezed.

  Jagger wouldn’t let Cannon move in with him. He’d told me repeatedly that his friendship with my brother was over. That he wouldn’t pick him over me again. He…

  He’d already kept Dana from me, though. Maybe he and Cannon had made up and they were going to be roommates after all.

  “Ask him,” he said, getting to his feet. “Well, I have some packing to do. I’m moving in tomorrow.”

  I sat there, feeling like the bottom had just fallen out from under me as I watched him climb the stairs.

  “I think it’s a good thing the boys made up,” Dad commented as he munched on a handful of popcorn. “Maybe they can finish those two albums and figure something out for their careers instead of going solo.”

  “Shut up, babe,” Mom told him, her eyes glued to my face. “This is not a good thing.”

  Dad’s eyes lifted from the TV and landed on me, and his jaw clenched. “I take it you didn’t know?” I shook my head, unable to speak for the lump filling my throat. “Your brother is such an asshole.”

  “You won’t hear me arguing about that,” I muttered in a hoarse voice. Dusting off my hands, I stood. “I’ll see you two later. Don’t expect me for dinner.”

  “Shaw…” I paused when Mom said my name, but I didn’t turn around. “Give him a chance to explain. Okay?”

  I gave a small nod and kept walking. I was going to give Jagger one chance to do just that. But if he didn’t tell me—about Dana and my brother—then I really would know whatever we had wasn’t meant to be.

  Chapter 26

  Violet

  I heard the hitch in Shaw’s voice as soon as I picked up my phone. I hadn’t been home all that long before it rang, and I got a bad feeling seeing her name flash across my screen, which was why I’d answered so quickly.

  After how chill she’d been earlier with Kayla telling her about Dana being a girl from Jagger’s past, I’d wondered if the shit was going to hit the fan before long. But I’d hoped it would take a little more time. Like maybe another week or so. Long enough for Jagger to get his head out of his ass if he was going to keep my bestie where she belonged. Beside him for life.

  “What’s wrong?” I demanded.

  “Cannon…” She paused, and I heard her swallow audibly. “Cannon says he’s moving in with Jagger.”

  I laughed. “Good one.” No way was that true. Jagger had made his choice, and it wasn’t that fucking douchebag who had once been his best friend. He’d smartened up after the party that had ruined my entire life. He got his head on straight, kicked Cannon’s ass, and then started working on proving to Shaw that she was the only one who mattered to him.

  He wouldn’t go and fuck that up by having Cannon move in with him.

  But the silence on the other end of the phone told me it was true.

  The thought of Shaw, the girl who had been my rock through the worst months of my life, hurting made me see red. No. I wasn’t going to let Cannon ruin someone else’s life. Not when he’d already obliterated the future I’d had planned out for so long.

  “Shaw, don’t listen to him. He’s not moving in with Jagger.”

  “I don’t know what to believe,” she muttered. “He’s such an asshole, Vi. But he was so smug. I know he wasn’t lying about this.”

  “I mean it,” I gritted out, already sliding my feet into a pair of sandals. I was only in a pair of running shorts and a tank top, but it would have to do because I wasn’t going to waste another second by changing. “Now, I can tell you’re driving, so I want you to pay attention to the road and be careful. Are you going to Jagger’s?”

  “Y-yeah. For now. I’m only giving him today, Violet. If he doesn’t tell me about Cannon moving in and his past with Dana, that’s it.”

  “Just give him a chance, Shaw,” I told her as I rushed downstairs. Dad was lying on the couch in the living room, Oscar spread out on top of him asleep in doggy dreamland. I waved when he lifted his head in question. “Be back soon,” I mouthed as I opened the door that would take me out onto the beach. He nodded, and I practically sprinted toward Shaw’s house.

  “I will,” she muttered. “But only this once.”

  “He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.” I tried to reason. “Maybe he thinks he’ll lose you if he tells you.”

  “He’s going to lose me if he doesn’t,” she whispered before hanging up.

  I clenched my jaw, knowing I had no right to lecture her. I knew she was scared, and I understood why. She’d always thought that my relationship with Luca was indestructible. And when it ended, when she witnessed firsthand just how deep a person could hurt when the love of their life—their fucking soul mate—destroyed them, she’d decided she was never going to allow anyone that kind of power over her.

  But she didn’t understand that Jagger wasn’t Luca. He might have been slow in the beginning and made mistakes, but he wasn’t going to make the ones Luca had. Jagger wouldn’t cheat, and he would sell his own soul before he broke her heart. Even through my own misery, I’d been able to see that. And it was because of his love for her that I was still able to believe in love at all.

  I let myself into Shaw’s house. “Hey, sweetheart,” Uncle Axton greeted as I rushed through the living room. “Shaw isn’t home.”

  “I know,” I muttered and kept going.

  “Vi.” I thought I heard him following me, concern thick in his voice, but I didn’t waste time by telling him I was fine. Upstairs, I didn’t bother with knocking, simply opened his door and slammed it shut behind me just as Uncle Ax appeared at the top of the stairs.

  With a dark scowl on his face, Cannon turned from his closet where he was pulling clothes off hangers. But when he saw me, he froze. His face turned white, and I watched his throat bob up and down as he struggled to swallow.

  “Vi,” he croaked my name.

  It was the first time I’d purposely come face-to-face with him since he’d returned home. The first time since that goddamn party that had turned my entire life upside down. I’d avoided Shaw’s house since he’d gotten back. A house I’d once considered a second home had become a place I couldn’t think about stepping foot inside without sweating. The night before, when I’d spotted Cannon entering Jagger’s apartment at the party, I’d gone to the spare room and stayed there until Mia came searching for me to let me know he was gone.

  Now, I stood before him, still hating him and, yeah, even a little afraid of him. But I would have faced down the devil himself if it meant protecting my best friend.

  Lifting my chin, I glared at him until he lowered his eyes as guilt and shame swam over his face. “Apologize to me,” I commanded, proud that my voice was so strong and steady.

>   “I’m sorry,” he said without hesitation. “So damn sorry, Violet. I was drunk and angry, but I never should have hurt you.”

  “You ruined my life.” He flinched. “Oh, I know you aren’t responsible for what happened with Luca, but you are the catalyst that started it all. Did you know that I was even thinking about ending my life?”

  The way he staggered told me he didn’t know that little nugget of information. “Violet, I…”

  “I thought when you were sent away, that military school would help you. That it would make you realize the world doesn’t revolve around you. That people other than you have feelings. But all it gave you was a haircut and a few muscles.”

  His jaw clenched, as if he wanted to say something, but he was biting his tongue.

  “Yes, Cannon, people other than you matter. Somewhere along the way, I’m not even sure when or where, you stopped caring about anyone else. It became all about you.”

  “It’s not like that,” he cut in.

  “Yes, it is. And you’re still acting like that spoiled, entitled asshole who was sent away.” I waved a hand at him. “Can you even see what you’ve turned into? You’re becoming a selfish monster.”

  “I…” Tears filled his blue eyes, and he looked away, whispering, “Am I?”

  “Shaw loves Jagger, and Jagger loves her. And I know, deep down, somewhere in that dark pit that you call a heart, you love them both. Yet your selfishness is ruining what they’ve struggled to build.” I took a step closer to him, still a little afraid, but determined to make him understand. “Don’t do this, Cannon.”

  “What am I doing?” he exploded. “I haven’t done shit, Violet. Not yet. But I sure as fuck will.”

  “You’re destroying your sister. You’re breaking her heart.”

  “She’ll get over it.” His voice was hard, but I saw it. The flicker of remorse. It was weak, but just that small light told me there was still hope for him.

  “No,” I told him, putting steel in my voice. “That’s unacceptable.”

  “Look, Violet—”

  I stomped over to him and slapped him across the face. It didn’t make me feel better…

  Lie.

  It definitely made me feel a little better. But it was the shock on his face that had me doing it a second time. “You listen to me, Cannon Cage,” I snarled. There must have been something in my eyes that told him I wasn’t playing because he cowered back ever so slightly. “You are going to start acting like a decent human being, or I swear I’m going to kick your ass.”

  He blinked down at me a few times, then swallowed roughly. “Okay.”

  “You’re not going to move in with Jagger.” He opened his mouth to argue, but I slapped him again, the sound echoing in my ears as he touched the angry red welt forming on his cheek. “Say it. Say you aren’t moving in with him.”

  “I…I won’t move in with Jagger.”

  “And you are going to start treating your sister and other women with respect.” I saw the argument in his eyes, but I punched him in the stomach hard—just like Luca always taught me to do to protect myself—causing Cannon to groan and bend in half. I didn’t condone violence, but it seemed it was the only way to get through to this idiot. “Say it.”

  “I’ll respect my sister and other women,” he wheezed out as he wrapped his arms around his middle in pain.

  “Starting now,” I made him amend.

  “I will respect my sister and other women…starting now.”

  Satisfied, I stepped back. “Stop packing. Until you can prove to me that you’re going to treat your sister right, you’re not going anywhere. Least of all to Jagger’s.”

  “Violet…?” There was something in his voice that made my chest hurt. I stopped at the door and glared at him over my shoulder. “Do you think you could ever…forgive me?”

  It was my turn to swallow hard. “I don’t know. Maybe. I guess it depends on if you can become a guy worthy of forgiveness.”

  Jerking the door open, I found Uncle Axton standing there, having obviously been unashamedly listening in. There was amusement in his eyes, and he quickly stepped aside to let me pass. “That’s my girl,” he praised as I passed him.

  Chapter 27

  Jagger

  I woke up alone in bed, and my gut clenched as a foreboding feeling weighed me down. I took a quick shower and then went looking for Shaw. I needed to tell her about Cannon moving in and try to make her understand that this didn’t change anything.

  A note in the kitchen told me she’d taken Violet home, but she would be back later. Grimacing, I forced down a bowl of cereal and then parked my ass on the couch to watch mindless television in an attempt to distract myself until she returned.

  Sooner than I expected, I heard a key in the door before it swung open.

  “Hey, Dimples,” I greeted, relieved she was back already.

  She had a tote in one hand that she placed on the coffee table in front of the couch before dropping down beside me. “Hey,” she said. “I told Mom you weren’t feeling well, so she sent you a few things.”

  “I’m feeling much better now that you’re here.” I snaked an arm around her and pulled her closer. Kissing the top of her head, I closed my eyes and just savored having her there with me for a moment.

  One of her hands rubbed over my stomach. “Have you eaten?”

  “Cereal about an hour ago,” I confirmed.

  She pulled back. “Let me get you a sports drink. I don’t want you to get dehydrated.”

  I wrapped her tighter in my arms. “Just stay here and cuddle with me. That’s the only medicine I need.”

  Shaw made a humming noise in her throat and wrapped herself around me. “This is perfect,” she murmured after we’d watched the rest of the show that was on TV. “Just me and you doing whatever we want with no one else to bother us. I could seriously get used to having you all to myself.”

  “Me too, Dimples.” I nuzzled my nose against her ear.

  For the rest of the afternoon, we stayed right there on the couch watching television. Eventually, her stomach started growling, and mine echoed the hungry sounds. Laughing, we made lunch together.

  “I’m glad to see you have an appetite,” Shaw commented as I ate a slice of cucumber from her fingertips.

  “I told you, baby. Your being here made me all better.” I kissed her lips then fed her a slice of green bell pepper. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

  She bit her lip then shrugged. “I’m free until Thursday, when I have to fly to Chicago for a photo shoot with a regular client.”

  “I’m not scheduled to get in the studio until next Monday. Let’s take a mini vacation to Mexico,” I suggested. “We can leave tonight and come back Wednesday evening.”

  “I don’t know. You’re just getting over something,” she murmured, leaning back against the counter where she’d been crafting our sandwiches.

  I stepped between her legs. “Let’s be spontaneous. You deserve a break after all the hard work you did putting my party together. Let me spoil you with this trip.”

  She cocked her head to the side, causing her hair to fall over her shoulder. “I want to, but…”

  I pushed her hair out of my way and kissed her neck. “Don’t say no. We can even enjoy more fun like we had Friday night.” I sank my teeth into her shoulder and felt her shudder as a breathy little moan left her lips. My cock was rock hard, pulsing against her belly, aching for a release I had to deny him. “Tell me you aren’t tempted, baby.”

  “I’m very, very tempted,” she moaned. “But…”

  I groaned at her continued hesitation. “Please, Dimples. I want to go away with you. Just you and me. No one to bother us. No one to stop me if I kiss you.” I lowered my voice. “Or if I lick you.”

  She trembled but shook her head. “There’s no one to stop you now,” she said with a tight smile. “You can spoil me and kiss me and lick me all you want right here.”

  I gave her a pout. “You don’t want to go
to Mexico with me?”

  “I didn’t say that.” She turned around, going back to finishing our sandwiches, but her shoulders were tense. “I’m just not up to traveling right now when I’ll have to do it again on Thursday. I need to look rested for the photo shoot, or the client will be upset and find someone else to be the face of their products.”

  “Do you want me to beg?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood now that I could sense hers had shifted.

  She huffed angrily and turned to face me once again. “Why are you pushing this? I said I don’t want to go.”

  I was pushing because if we were in Mexico while Cannon moved in, I wouldn’t have to explain why he was living with me. At least not yet. I would get a few more days to prove to her just how much I loved her, that my loyalty was with her and only her, before I had to face the possible reality of her leaving me.

  Guilt churned in my stomach, and I knew I just needed to come clean, but the fear of her walking away was enough to make me clamp my jaw shut.

  Her chin trembled when I remained silent, and she stepped away from me. “Cannon was home when I got back this morning.”

  Fuck.

  I knew what was coming. That asshole hadn’t kept his mouth shut, hadn’t given me the time I needed to explain things to Shaw. I should have known he would do something to cause trouble.

  “Are you still going to stand there and act like you didn’t pick my brother over me yet again?” she whispered.

  I reached for her, and she let me pull her against me. “Baby, I didn’t. I swear. He had me between a rock and a hard place.”

  Her brow scrunched up. “Because of Dana?”

  Surprise had me blinking down at her. “You know about her?”

  “Kayla told me this morning.” She pressed her forehead to my chest. “I know you have a past. You don’t have to be scared that I’ll hold it against you.”

  Relief made my knees feel shaky. “You mean you don’t care?”

  Her head lifted. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not a little jealous. But Kayla explained that Dana was going through some stuff at the time. I know Dana’s not going to try to steal you away from me.”