Finding Strength: A Club Dark Novel

by Reagan Hollow

  “I’m honestly not sure if there’s anything left you can fix, Cory.” I state my feelings out loud, almost instantly regretting them when the unmistakable look of hurt, briefly flashes across his face.

  He visibly shakes himself before fully righting his body, all traces of that fleeting hurt feeling, completely gone now. Must be nice, to be able to switch your emotions off at the drop of a dime.

  He grunts a little and says something I can’t hear below his breath. Sounded something like this girl is going to be the death of me but I couldn’t clearly hear him, so I don’t bother with it.

  A look crosses over his face that I can’t quite place, before his beautiful voice starts talking again. Could I ever really let this man go, when he holds so many pieces of my heart? I just don’t know.

  “My brother's graduation is coming up. I’d really love it if you would attend it with me, that is, if your health is up to par. I know my parents, as well as my brother, are dying to meet you.” I don’t miss the fact that his sister wasn’t mentioned in there. But that’s okay, I get what I might look like to her, but I simply can’t find it in me to care.

  “I don’t know, Cory.” His parents?! How in the world am I ever going to face them with them knowing everything that’s happened? I bet they only view me as tainted garbage.

  “I know that look, Lacey. My parents aren’t judging you. They know you couldn’t help what happened here.”

  “Whatever, I’ll go.” I see him crack a smile, and really hate to burst his bubble, “but… I’m not going for you or your parents, I’m going for your brother. I’m sure he can use the support, coming from a family who has such a short supply of it.” Low blow, I know. But my head, heart, mind, and anything else you can think of, is so beyond hurt right now, that there’s not a part of me that can muster up enough emotion to really care. I think it’s about time some of the people claiming their love for me, see just what that love might mean.

  What is she doing to me? I feel like she rips my heart out more and more with every word she says. I screwed up, big time, I see that now. But fuck she’s being brutal. Yes, I deserve it, but it’s so unexpected that I’m thrown for a loop. I’ve never known her to be purposefully cruel before.

  I left her with instructions that I’ll be back around nine in the morning to escort her out. She said a few more hateful words, and I just stood there, taking them all in stride. I know she’s hurting, and dammit, I hate it that I’m one of the causes for said hurt. It breaks my heart that I thought I was doing right by her, when I was only creating a barrier between us. Could this be the end of us? God, I hope not. Lacey consumes everything around me, without her in my life, I’ll have nothing. I’ll be nothing.

  My fist crashes through the wall right outside my room, bits of sheet rock spraying down on my feet. I don’t even register the pain as I watch the warm liquid trail down my fingers.

  How could I be so stupid, of course she’s needed me. What was I thinking? That she’d want to ward off men for the rest of her life? That every time she looked in my eyes, she’d see that monster? None of that even makes sense after seeing how much I’ve hurt her. I must fix this, or I’ll lose her, I’m sure of it.

  I’m just getting ready to walk into my room, when I spot Al coming straight for me, a look of concern written all over his face. I’m not in the mood for his pity, yet I can’t bring myself to tell him that.

  “Mr. Lewis?” he questions, as he comes to a stop right in front of me. “Are you okay, sir?” He gestures to my hand, now staining the carpet below me red. He’s visibly cringing at the site of the perfectly white, plush carpet, now saturated a nice crimson. Why my parents thought white was a good idea when they designed this house is beyond me. I just haven’t had the time to have it replaced. No time like the present I suppose.

  “I’m fine, Al. Was there something you needed?”

  “Please, let me wrap that up. I’ll advise Greta to bring some vinegar up here before the blood sets into the carpet too much,” he says instead of answering me.

  “She’s back?” How is so much going on around me without my knowledge? First, an undercover cop, showing up at my club, freaking out my employees, now I don’t even have knowledge of what staff is in my house and who’s not. I don’t do well with chaos.

  “She only just got back, sir. She only stated that she was feeling a bit home-sick. Please, sir, allow me to take care of this.”

  I give him a slight nod and follow him downstairs into the kitchen where we keep a small first aid kit in the pantry. I don’t see Greta as we settle onto the bar stools, while resting my hand on the counter.

  She wasn’t due back for another week or so. I allow her and Al both, to take as many vacations as they like. They’ve both been with my family for a very long time and neither has taken advantage of my generosity.

  “Are you going with us to see Lance graduate?” I question him as he places a bowl filled with warm water on the counter, along with cotton balls, alcohol, gauze and bandages. He places a clean dish towel under my hand, then dips another into the water and gets to work cleaning all the blood and debris from my hand.

  “I would love to see little Lance earn his diploma,” he says with a smile on his face.

  I can’t help but give him a little laugh at this, “You do realize, he’s not little anymore, right?”

  “Oh yes, I’m aware sir,” he says with a sly smile. Al’s always had a soft spot for Lance. Even at the age of three, the kid had him eating out of the palm of his hand. Now at eighteen, he’s even more charming.

  I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts, that when he applies the cotton ball drenched in alcohol, my hand jerks from his grasp from the sudden sting.

  “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

  “It’s okay, Al, it’s my fault.” I assure him and place my hand back in his. Paying attention this time, I’m more prepared when he applies the cotton back to my skin. It stings like a bitch, but I don’t even flinch this time.

  “Was there something you needed, when you found me in the hallway?” I ask him, distracting myself from the task at hand.

  “Oh, yes sir. I was just coming to see how Miss Lacey was doing. However, you seem to have needed me more,” he says with that smile again. I swear, this man wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he didn’t have someone to take care of.

  For some odd reason, I have this overwhelming urge to confide in him.

  “Besides the fact that I’m the biggest jackass that ever lived, I think she’s okay. Or she’s getting there.” I say with zero confidence. Which only further solidifies my role as the asshole here.

  “I don’t see you as a jackass, sir, and I’m quite sure the little lady doesn’t either. I’m sure she just needs a little time.”

  “That’s what I thought, Al. But it seems that time, was not what she wanted.”

  “Then give her what she wants. Excuse me for being so blunt, but this,” he gestures down at my now half bandaged hand. Now that all the blood has been wiped away, there’s not much damage. Just a few superficial tears along the knuckles. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before. “This isn’t going to fix your problems, only create new ones.” Ever the wise one, he finishes his wrap around my knuckles. “If I may, sir, try and get some rest tonight, tomorrow’s a new day.” With that, he cleans up the mess and walks away.

  If only it were that simple. To just go to sleep and everything will be okay when you wake up in the morning, I wish.

  Either way, I make my way back up the stairs and to my room. I notice the pool of blood that was right outside my door, is now a watered-down pink. Before I enter my room, in hopes that sleep will find me, I make a mental note to get new carpet throughout the house and to give both Al and Greta a raise. If Al was right about one thing, tomorrow is a new day and while I’m sure the slate’s not going to be clean, I’ll work my ass off for the rest of my life making everything right between Lacey and me again.

  I sat here with my heart in m
y chest when Cory and I said our goodbyes. He left me with only a few words I’ll be back around 9am, be ready. Jerk. What if I wanted to ride with Amber?

  I know I was an ass to him, but he deserved it. I was the one that was drugged, kidnapped, and tortured, sure, he was my knight in shining armor, but that’s where it fucking ended. He rescued me from a monster, but in his own way, he’s become one himself. What kind of man would rescue the girl he loves, then disappear, going days without so much as a hello, and then he just walks in here like everything’s fine? Not going to happen, buddy.

  Out of nowhere, I hear something crashing into the wall, the hit solid enough to vibrate the wall I’m resting my back up against. Wanting to see what happened, I slowly pull myself to my feet and make it over to the door. At first, I only peer out, but when I notice no one is out here, I walk out into the hallway. The sound came from the direction of Cory’s room, so that’s where I begin making my way to.

  I come up short when I notice the gaping hole in the wall and the massive puddle of blood just below.

  What the fuck happened here? I think to myself, or at least that’s what I thought until Greta answers from behind me.

  “Seems the boss might have lost his temper a little. Nothing to worry over, sweetheart, Al is downstairs fixing him up as we speak.”

  She squats down to the floor and begins to spray the stain with something out of an unidentifiable spray bottle. I wasn’t sure what she was using until it assaults my nostrils with its stench. Immediately, I know it's vinegar she’s using. Odd thing to be spraying on a blood stain.

  I move to join her, and she swats me out of the way. “Miss, if you insist on being here, then just stand there. You should be in the bed, resting, and Mr. Lewis would kill me if he knew I allowed you down on this floor in your condition.” She scolds me, making me feel like a wounded animal.

  So, I back up against the wall and watch this amazing woman clean up the mess of the man I love, but who drives me insane.

  “Cory is a good man,” she says. I guess my emotions are just that loud. But I can’t make sense of them. One minute, I want to hate him and demand he put me in a hotel or something, the next, my heart aches with every minute we spend apart from each other. I want what we had before all of this. So fresh, so new. We were falling, and falling hard. All the emotions are still there, otherwise, I wouldn’t feel the flutters every time he walks into the room. But he’s placed an unnecessary rift between us when he decided he knew what was best for me.

  Greta doesn’t say anything else and I’m content to just stand here and watch her work. She’s really a gentle being, but looks like she can be as stern as your granny if she needs to be.

  “Hey, Greta, I was wondering why I haven’t seen you since I’ve been back, are you okay?”

  She gives me this smile, that says she’s not used to anyone asking her personal questions. But I don’t back down. I only smile back at her and wait for her to tell me, or not. Either is okay with me.

  “Mr. Lewis allows me to take my vacations when it’s convenient for me and my family. They are in New York, so we don’t see each other often.” A sad look comes across her face making me wish I was comfortable enough to snatch her up in a nice, warm hug. “So, why aren’t you still there?” Just me being my nosey self.

  “It was time to come home. My family and I can only stomach small amounts of time together, anything more and we have a Monday Night Brawl, Free For All in the middle of my mom's living room, and the old bat would have our heads if we damaged any of her old china.” I can’t help it, the picture she’s painted in my head, I’m laughing so hard that tears stream down my face, likely from the trauma my ribs are taking. Greta, brawling with her siblings in the middle of the floor in her parents' house, that’s classic. And something I’d pay to see.

  “What’s funny girl?” She asks as she rises from the floor. She managed to remove most of the stain, what’s left can just be a reminder to him not to do something so stupid.

  “Oh, nothing,” I laugh again, “I was just trying to picture you wrestling on the floor.” She lets out a tiny grunt before taking her materials and walking away. Still, I’m silently laughing because Greta would probably whoop some ass. I’d feel bad for the siblings.

  I guess since Cory is downstairs getting himself stitched up, or whatever, it couldn’t hurt for me to make myself at home in his room. It is closer than mine, and with the sharp pains that never seems to go away, I don’t feel like turning around. Cory’s room it is. I push my way inside and make a beeline straight for the bed, I just need a moment to relax.

  But the next thing I know, my eyes are drooping shut, I catch myself and snatch them back open. Seconds later, they fall shut again, this time they feel a little too heavy, and I no longer have the energy to fight them. I settle my head back, my legs still swinging off the side of the bed, and drift off to sleep.

  It feels like only seconds go by when I hear the silent creak of the door opening from across the room. As usual, my heart rate starts to accelerate when I see him appear in the doorway. What is this? High school again?

  He looks like a hot mess, and I find it sexy as hell. For a moment, I forget that I’m mad at him.

  I sit up in the bed as he walks in, shuts the door, and starts walking towards the bed without even turning a light on. Heat flows through my body as I feel him getting closer. I know he’s standing right in front of me, but he doesn’t say anything. Until finally, my nerves are so worked up, I feel like I could combust at any moment, he sits down beside me, “What are you doing in here, Lacey.” I hold back the sting of rejection from the lack of warmth in his voice.

  “I heard something, so I came to check it out. Your bed was closer than mine, just sucks to be alone in it.” I hear his sharp intake of breath, which makes my heart soar to know I can shock even him.

  “Why are you up roaming the halls, shouldn’t you be in bed, getting some rest?”

  “Shouldn’t you?” I counter.

  Now that my eyes have adjusted to the dark, I’m able to see as he rakes both his hands through his hair, creating two sexy as hell trails that I’d love more than anything to push my own hands through right now.

  You know what? That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Fuck being this weak ass girl who can’t even make her own decisions.

  I turn my body into his and bring my uninjured hand up to mimic his, sliding my fingers inside his thick, silky strands, slowly pushing them through. I rest my hand on the back of his neck. His small groan of approval has my heart galloping. But then he visibly shakes himself and jumps up off the bed so fast, you’d think a snake bit him. Tears pool fast under my eyes. I’m an idiot. He’s been pushing me away this whole time, why did I think that just because he decided to show his face and spew his apologies, that anything would change.

  “Oh Lacey, it’s not that, sweetheart.” I try to hold back the laugh forcing its way up my throat but fail miserably as I feel a hot tear roll down my cheek.

  “I don’t want to push you to do anything you aren’t ready for, and baby, if you keep touching me, I’m afraid I won't be able to resist you any longer.” From the heat in his eyes, I can tell he means this. But what he hasn’t understood since all of this happened, is that Aaron didn’t break me. I can separate what happened with him and realize that those events will never take place with Cory. What I need more than anything is for him to be close with me. I need to feel like I’m still worth it to him, that Aaron hasn’t tainted me.

  “Cory, I need to be close to you. We don’t have to do anything. But I need the comfort only you can give me. I need to know that you still need me as much as I need you.” I really have nothing else left in me. It’s his move now.

  “I need for you to understand; my mind is numb. I feel nothing. I want to feel again. Only you can give that to me. You can erase everything he’s done to me; can’t you see that?”

  I feel the bed dip once again, just before I feel one of his hands on the s
ide of my face, wiping a lone tear trailing down my cheek.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers as his hand slides around to the back of my neck. His grip is firm, yet gentle. Slowly, he brings our bodies closer, ever so careful not to hurt my injuries. My heart gallops and my stomach begins to do subtle little flips in anticipation. Not even noticing that I’ve done it until I see the heat in his eyes, I release the lip I’ve trapped between my teeth, taking him by surprise when I close the distance between us, sealing my mouth over his.

  The kiss is light and fast, but enough to set my already overheated body on fire. I begin to pull back, but his grip on my neck tightens, holding me in place, effectively deepening our kiss. An almost painful, but delicious, throb takes over my lower body as he slowly slides his tongue across my bottom lip, trailing from one side to the other. A groan I don’t even recognize as my own, escapes me and he uses it as his opening to push his tongue inside, gently sliding against mine.

  Slow and torturous, our tongues dance, both of us fighting for control, until I finally surrender allowing him to slide his tongue all the way in, turning our kiss from one of passion, to one of hunger.

  We both pull away at the same time, gasping for air. But he doesn’t stay away long. Moments later, the hand that’s still cradled behind my head wraps around a thick chunk of my hair, and he pulls with enough force to arch my neck, but not cause me any discomfort.

  Shivers start to take over me, starting from my toes, working their way up as I feel the warmth and wetness of his tongue at the base of my throat. He lingers there for a moment longer before I feel a tug at the sensitive skin there. My lower body clenches almost painfully when I feel his teeth make contact, scraping slowly across the skin. Then, he’s moving up the side of my neck, using his hand to position my head just the way he wants it. He pulls my ear between his teeth, making me feel like I’ll combust at any moment, as the liquid begins to pool between my legs.