Hard Hit: IceCats series

by Toni Aleo

  “We would be delighted. Thank you,” Mom says, and Dad nods. “I have no clue what hockey is, but I’m sure we’ll enjoy it.”

  Dad points his fork at him and sets him with a look. “Only if I can get you out on the golf course. Isn’t hockey the same thing as golf?”

  “Dad, you guys hardly fight on the green.”

  Dad laughs. “I don’t know. I almost decked Princeton the other day when his phone rang during my drive.”

  That has us all laughing.

  Kirby’s face is bright as he nods. “I would love that. I’m actually still a learner, but most of my buddies on the team play.”

  “Fantastic. Give me your next free day, and I’ll get us a tee time.”

  “Awesome. I’ll give you my number after dinner.”

  Okay, okay, okay, this is going very well. Everyone is vibing, and of course, Celeste is stealing the show. Her babbling is endearing, and my dad is eating it up. “Can I hold her?”

  “Absolutely,” Kirby says, getting up and handing her over the table to my dad. Celeste sucks on her bone as she leans on my dad’s chest, and I feel like I’ve been smacked dead in the face by a Mack truck.

  “Look at her, Lorene,” Dad says, and my mom takes Celeste’s hand in hers.

  “She sure is adorable.”

  “Thank you,” Kirby and I say at the same time, and then we grin at each other.

  “We wanted more kids, but Lorene couldn’t get pregnant after Jaylin,” Dad says, and I whip my gaze to him.

  “I didn’t know that. I thought you only wanted me.”

  “Oh, we did,” Mom says and smiles over at me. “We always said you took everything we had for more kids and turned out to be the best version of us.”

  And here comes another Mack truck. I’m sincere when I say, “Wow. Thanks, Mom.”

  She just sends me a sweet grin before she kisses Celeste’s hand.

  “That’s beautiful. I feel the same about Celeste. Like she’s the best version of me,” Kirby says as he watches my parents with his daughter.

  “Oh, my sweet boy, you just wait,” Mom says, beaming at Celeste. She exhales, and I see her face change before she sits back, looking across the table at him. I can tell by her expression that I don’t even need to hear what she has to say to know I’m about to end up under the table in complete embarrassment. She inhales hard before clearing her throat, and Kirby looks her right in her eye. If I were under Lorene Raventorn’s gaze like that, I would brace myself. But Kirby sits with a smile on his face and looking directly at her.

  “I have to say, I’m very impressed by you, Kirby. So, tell me, what’s wrong with you? Are you abusive?”

  Mom!” I cry out, and Dad rolls his eyes.

  Kirby doesn’t seem affected. He shakes his head. “No, ma’am. I would never do that. But if I had to say what was wrong with me, it would be my overthinking and how I overanalyze situations. I have anxiety issues, but I think that’s the only thing wrong with me. Oh, Jaylin says I’m weird ’cause I don’t like candy.”

  I grin. “It is weird,” I accuse with a laugh, and Dad laughs with me.

  Mom doesn’t. “Okay. How do you feel about being a white man with a black woman?”

  “Jesus, Mom!”

  “Lorene,” Dad warns, but Mom isn’t letting Kirby out of her sight.

  After a deep breath, he says, “I feel great.”

  “You know some people will have an issue with it.”

  He shrugs. “I don’t care about them. For me, it isn’t about skin color, shape, size, or anything like that. It’s about the person. I don’t care for Jaylin because she’s black. I care for her because she’s intelligent, driven, and beautiful.”

  I am in awe of this man. I look at my mom, and she’s still wary. “You have an answer for everything, huh?”

  He grins. “They’re easy questions,” he says, and I grin.

  “Okay. How about a hard one, then?”

  “I’m ready,” he says confidently.

  “What are your intentions with Jaylin?”

  Dad looks at Mom and scoffs. “Pretty sure that’s my line.”

  Kirby grins over at him. “If I know anything about Raventorn women, it’s that they say what they’ve got to say and don’t hold back.”

  “Son, you have no idea,” Dad teases, but then he grins so widely at me. He’s so happy, it almost brings tears to my eyes. But then I remember my mom is putting Kirby on the spot, and my knee starts to bounce once more.

  As before, Kirby’s hand comes to still my leg, squeeze it for good measure as he meets my mom’s gaze once more. “Honestly?”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way. And you haven’t held back at all so far. Why change that?”

  He nods. “My intentions are straightforward, Mr. and Mrs. Raventorn. I want to make a life with Jaylin. I want to make her happy. I want to support her in her career, and I want her to have my children.” His words leave me breathless, but he seems so damn sure, as if his words are written in stone and nothing can change them. “I know I have baggage, even more than that baby girl right there, but I can promise you, my intentions are pure. I’m not someone who plays around. I know what I want, who I want, and that’s Jaylin.”

  I have no clue how my mom and dad are reacting to this because I am in all-encompassing awe. My eyes flood with tears, and when he looks over at me, he smiles. “Don’t seem so surprised. You already knew all that,” he teases, and I lean over, pulling him by his shirt to meet me halfway.

  His grin grows as I cup his jaw, and then, with no hesitation, no thought, no anything but a wholesome heart, I tell him, “I love you, Kirby. I love you so much.”

  His eyes widen, but his grin stays in place as he cups my hand that is against his jaw. “Same, Jay. Same. I love you.”

  As our lips meet, Celeste squeals, and I find myself wanting to do the same.

  But instead, I kiss this incredible, remarkable man in front of my parents, and I don’t care one bit what they think.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Kirby

  * * *

  At the start of the season, the IceCats Foundation holds a breakfast for the team so we can sign a bunch of stuff to be auctioned off throughout the year. It’s our first home game of the regular season, and I’m excited to show off not only for the fans but for Jean, Celeste, Jaylin, and her parents. As nervous as Jaylin was for me to meet her parents, I have to say, it went pretty damn well. I think they like me, or at least respect me, and they know that my intentions are true when it comes to Jaylin. I love her. And she loves me…but that doesn’t mean she’ll share my bed.

  I’m disappointed in myself for being so bothered by it. I hate thinking about it, I hate trying to figure out why, and most of all, I hate that I can’t help her feel comfortable enough. I have to be patient, and that’s even more challenging since I know she’s overthinking this. How can she tell me she loves me but not be comfortable enough to sleep in my bed? It makes no sense to me whatsoever, but I have bigger things to worry about.

  One of which is that I’m sitting at a table with the Three Musketeers, Nico, and Chandler. Unfortunately, one of our forwards got hurt during a preseason game. However, that means Dart gets to stay and play. Or Evan. I’m not sure who actually made the cut, because when Evan is on, he’s on. But when he’s not, it’s a shitshow. He sits beside me, signing a stack of pucks, and I push my elbow into his bicep to get his attention.

  “How’s it going?”

  It being therapy.

  He nods and even smiles just a bit. “Really good. I’m actually volunteering for a study about athletes with anxiety down at the university,” he says in a whisper so that the other guys, who are loud and laughing, don’t hear him.

  “Wow, that’s great. Maybe I’ll sign up.”

  “Yeah, that would be cool,” he says, but I don’t think he realizes I’m serious.

  “Do you feel any better?”

  He shrugs. “Not really, but I started some
medication. It hasn’t started working yet, though.”

  “It could take up to two weeks, I think they say.”

  “You’re right, so I’m just waiting it out. I am using some of the coping strategies they have given me. Some help, some don’t.”

  “You gotta find what works for you,” I say, holding his blue gaze. “For me, it’s a lot of self-assurance and affirmations.”

  “I feel like an idiot,” he admits, and I shake my head.

  “You’re not. You got this.”

  He gives me a small smile before passing the pucks to me. I hope he figures this out, that the help he is getting will actually help. I like him a lot; he’s a great kid, and I don’t want him to let his anxiety win. There was talk of him going back home, to finish college and maybe come back later, but I don’t think he needs to do that. He can do this. He’s ready. He just has to strengthen his mental game. In this sport—or hell, any sport—I’m finding that’s just as important as knowing how to score.

  “How’s it going with the baby mama drama?”

  I look up at Chandler’s question. I shake my head, annoyed. “Not too good. Ex is trying to push it back until December. Word is she’s coming to the next court date to ask for that. But hopefully she doesn’t show and the judge will see she’s a POS.”

  Chandler looks just as annoyed as I do. So does everyone, honestly. It’s really special to have support like this. Lord knows I need it.

  “I wish they’d just give you custody. Celeste is really happy and doing well with you,” Owen says, and I nod in agreement. “You’re a great dad.”

  “Yeah. Hell, Jaylin is more a mom than her real mom,” Dart says, and I grin.

  “You’re right.”

  Nico looks over at me. “She’s good with Celeste?”

  Dart scoffs. “She’s awesome.”

  “Yeah. She really is like her mom. I think she’s better than Jean,” Evan says, and Owen nods.

  “She runs that house when she is there,” Dart says, and we all chuckle. How can Jaylin not see she belongs in my house with us?

  “Though, since Jaylin is off the table, I’d really like to holler at Jean,” Owen says, and I set him with a look.

  Before I can say anything, Dart pipes up, “Dude, I get her first. She’s so thick. Hot damn.”

  “I will use each of your testicles to practice my shot. Stay away from Jean. She’s off-limits,” I remind them both, and Chandler and Nico laugh as the boys pout.

  Evan smirks. “She’s too good for y’all anyway.”

  I chuckle along with him as the boys glare. “Whatever,” Dart mutters as he hands off a guitar to Evan to sign. “How is the beautiful Jaylin? We haven’t been invited over this week.”

  “Because you hit on my girlfriend—and my nanny,” I remind, but he doesn’t seem the least bit guilty. “But we’re good.”

  “In love yet?” Owen asks, waggling his brows.

  I can’t contain my grin. “We are.”

  The guys all razz me, but it’s out of fun. “So, when’s the wedding?” Chandler teases, and I grin.

  “As soon as she lets me ask,” I say simply, and Nico gives me a look.

  “Lets you? What’s that mean?”

  I don’t know why I said that. My happiness made my tongue loose, and now I have five pairs of eyes on me, waiting for an explanation. I shrug. “That came out wrong. I don’t mean when she lets me. It’s more, we’re trying to get past a huge independence issue.”

  Dart shakes his head. “That’s why you don’t go for super-successful chicks. They don’t need you.”

  “I’d rather her not need me than only want me for my money,” Evan adds. “Plus, strong, confident women are hot.”

  I hold up my fist to him, and Evan taps his to mine. “Exactly.”

  “But a no-success girl with daddy issues is way hotter,” Owen says, grinning.

  We all look at him, even his buddy Dart, who slaps him on the chest. “Your mother would be disgusted.”

  Evan points to Dart. “What he said, and I’m so telling her.”

  “Asshole,” Owen calls over to him, and we all laugh at their bickering.

  “What’s the issue?” Nico asks, and just like that, the laughter is gone. Once again, everyone is looking at me.

  These are my friends, and maybe they can give me advice. Or maybe they’ll judge us. I don’t know what to do. Also, could she get upset if I say something? Shit, I don’t know. I need help here. “She’s never slept at a man’s house or lived with a man.”

  Chandler raises a brow, as the young children who probably have never been in a relationship look at me like I’ve grown another head. I have no clue what I was thinking, opening my mouth.

  “She doesn’t want to sleep at your place? I have to push girls out the door, they don’t want to leave,” Owen says, grinning like a fool.

  “Who? No one is ever over there,” Evan disputes, and Owen glares.

  “Not now, but when we lived at home.”

  “With our parents?”

  Dart is basically beet red, he is laughing so hard, but Nico shakes his head. “I think there is a song. Something like ‘Can’t turn a hoe into a housewife’?”

  I look at my best friend as everyone gawks at him, and I have to control the urge to rip his head off. “I will fucking kill you if you ever say something like that again.”

  Nico automatically throws up his hands in defense. “Bro, my bad. I didn’t think that through. I don’t mean that. Jaylin is not a hoe.”

  “I know. But please listen to me right now—I will not let you disrespect her like that. Or me. I don’t care if I love you as a brother. You will not do that.”

  He nods. “I apologize. That was uncalled-for.” The anger inside me recedes as he holds my gaze. I know he didn’t mean it. He doesn’t think sometimes, just speaks. “Honestly, with Jaylin, she’s always been by herself. She’s never had to depend on anyone. I may have doubted her in the beginning, but I know more now. She’s in it with you. She’ll get over that.”

  I can tell no one else knows what to say, or else they’re worried I’ll snap at them if they say something I don’t like. From beside me, Evan suggests, “Maybe she doesn’t like being in someone else’s space. What if instead of asking her to share your bed, you guys get a bed together?”

  “I suggested that, but apparently moving in together scares her,” I say, and he nods as Dart looks at me.

  “Wait, you two aren’t banging?”

  I give him a dry look. “That’s not a problem, dude. It’s the sharing a space with a man she’s struggling with.”

  He doesn’t understand. “Shit, girls never want to leave my bed.”

  “Me either,” Owen adds. “But then, I’ve never met anyone like Jaylin.”

  They both nod. “That’s the truth,” Dart admits.

  Chandler clears his throat, and I meet his gaze. “I second what Evan says. If she doesn’t want to share your bed, offer to buy another—”

  “Guys, it’s not that,” I say slowly. “She had something happen when she was younger that makes it hard for her to sleep in a man’s space.”

  They all nod, and I don’t know if they know what I’m implying, but no one asks me to elaborate. Instead, Nico says, “Then make it easier.”

  “What?”

  “Hear me out. Aviva came at me with every reason under the sun not to have a huge house, and I made sure that every single one of her concerns was eased. If Jaylin gets scared, talk to her. If she wants to leave, go with her—”

  “That’s going to be hard when they have Celeste. They can’t be dragging her out of bed,” Owen objects, and I’m surprised for a minute, but the kid is good with kids.

  Nico nods. “True. So maybe have Jean stay over more. Talk it over with Jaylin, see if it’s something she’d be down for. Have her make a list of her fears and fix them all.”

  I think that over. It’s actually not an awful plan. I need her to be honest with me, really explain what
is going on, and then I need to do exactly what Nico is saying. List it out and let me ease each concern. I’m home for the next week, so we can fix this in that time if we work on it. I know it can, and then we can move even further forward. I guess I can forgive Nico for his poor choice of words earlier.

  As I bring my phone out of my pocket, I throw down my Sharpie to text Jaylin.

  Me: I need you to do something for me.

  As I wait for her to write me back, I sign a few more pucks. When her response comes through, I look down to read it.

  Jaylin: I’m really not in the mood for a blow job today. My jaw still hurts from the last one.

  I snort, drawing the attention of my friends. Beside me, Evan is strumming the guitar, humming as he waits for us to rotate.

  “You play?”

  He nods. “I come from a musical family.”

  “Can you sing too? Isn’t your sister a singer?”

  “She is,” Owen says with a nod. “And yeah, he can.”

  I hold his gaze. “I may need your services.”

  Before he can protest or tell me differently, I write Jaylin back.

  Me: Sorry, not sorry my cock is so big. You don’t seem to mind when it’s inside you.

  Jaylin: You are not wrong, Mr. Litman.

  I grin as I type back quickly.

  Me: Seriously, though. I need you to make me a list of the reasons you won’t sleep at my house.

  Jaylin: Why?

  Me: ’Cause I need to know. I want to help you with this.

  Jaylin: Kirby, this is my issue.

  Me: Okay, but I want to make it ours. Let me help.

  Jaylin: Okay.

  Me: You’ll make the list?

  Jaylin: Yes.

  Me: Fantastic. I love you, and I’ll see you after the game.

  Jaylin: I love you, and you better win. My dad is excited.

  Me: Done deal, sweetheart. Have a good night.

  Jaylin: You too.

  I close out my messages on my phone to see my wallpaper. It’s a picture of Celeste and Jaylin laughing on the beach. I am so confident in this new plan. I can’t be sure it’ll work or even if she wants it to work, but I’m going to do my best to help her beat this. We need to so we can fully commit. I refuse to allow something like this to keep us from enjoying our forever. Because that’s exactly what is in our grasp, a loving forever, and I won’t enjoy my life without her in it.