I Just Wanna Be Yours

by Lucinda John

  “Bae, you up?” He asked, walking towards the bed.

  Opening my eyes, I looked his way. Rhetorically answering his question, I watched as he removed his shoes and got on the bed positioning himself between my legs. He took a whiff of the air and looked over at his weed box, nodding his head when he realized I was in here smoking his shit. Grabbing my phone, he turned the music off never taking his eyes off of me.

  “I fucked up.” He said, looking at me with sadness in his eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I got something good in you, but it’s like I can’t stop fucking around with these hoes even though I know for a fact that none of them can compare to you.” He confessed.

  “Shhh, let me talk.” He silenced me when I tried to open my mouth to say something.

  “I’m not trying to lose you. I tell you all the time you and Tyreek all the family I got. Yes, I got my mama and Lia, but when it’s all said and done, home is where my heart it. You know how strained my relationship is with my mama after she ran my daddy off. I never really had a man in my life to show me how to be a man and I blamed my mama and every other woman my path crossed with for that. Then, I met you, and you did something to me. I can’t explain it, but the moment I made you mine, I knew you were the girl that I would give my last name to. I know you ain’t rocking with me right now, but I’m really trying to make you my wife.” He said, with tears in his eyes.

  Reaching up, I used my fingers to brush away the tears that fell down his face. In all the years we’ve been together, the only time I’d seen Jerecho shed a tear was during the birth of our son. He must have been embarrassed, because he buried his head in the crook of my neck where I could still feel his tears trickling down my body.

  “I can’t lose you, Ma.” He said.

  “Treat me right, and you won’t.” I softly replied.

  “I have every intention on doing that.” He said, before I felt something cold brush across my hand. “Be my wife baby.” He said, causing me to look at him in confusion.

  Lifting my hand, I was shocked to see the beautiful, three-stone engagement ring that sat perfectly on my finger. Moving my hand from side to side, I watched in awe as the diamonds glistened. I had to reach over and pinch myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, and when I realized that this was really happening, a loud scream escaped my lips.

  “You gon’ marry a nigga?” He asked, kissing me on my lips. He ran his thick pink tongue across my lips before sticking it deep in my mouth.

  “Yes.” I replied, when he finally allowed me to come up for air. “Under one condition.”

  “Name it, baby.”

  “Stop fucking around with all these hoes, and if you can’t do that, let me know now before we make this engagement official.”

  “I gotchu boo.” He replied, sealing the deal with a kiss.

  Pulling my panties to the side, he used his fingers to splash through my wetness. Sticking two fingers deep in me, he made love to me with his index and middle finger while he used his thumb to tease my clit.

  “Oh, Daddy! Mm.” I moaned, grinding my hips into his hands.

  “That pussy wet for daddy, huh?” He asked, removing his fingers and pushing them towards my lips.

  Taking his fingers in my mouth, one by one, I sucked all of my juices off. Licking my lips, I was satisfied with the way my nectar tasted. Pushing my panties to the side, Jerecho buried his dick deep in me taking my breath away.

  “Mmm….” I cried out in pleasure as he rocked in and out of me.

  “Damn, girl. This engaged pussy real good.” He groaned in my ear pushing my legs back.

  “I’m about to be a wiffffffffffffffffffffffe!” I yelled out in bliss as Jerecho slammed into my spot making my kitty jump.

  Chapter 5

  Saire

  “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, Ma. Suck that shit!” I growled, as this big booty freak I just picked up from the club sucked me up in the back seat of my Hummer.

  “Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.” She hummed as she made the head she was giving me sloppy.

  “You tryna suck my soul out. Damn, Ma.” I grunted feeling my nut build up.

  I got money way before the deals, put my bitches in new pair of heels.

  YFN Lucci, boomed through the car as my phone rang. With my eyes still closed, I reached for my phone and silenced it without checking to see who was calling. This bitch I met just an hour ago had me in a trance by the way her tongue was snaking up and down my rod. The person that was trying to contact me was just going to have to wait until I busted my nut.

  “Do that shit again.” I bit my lip, as my toes curled in my all-white, high-top Air Force Ones.

  “Uhhh, fuck! Not the balls. Damn!” I moaned, like a bitch, as she deep-throated my dick while using her tongue to tickle my balls.

  I got money way before the deals, put my bitches in new pair of heels.

  My phone rang again causing me to suck my teeth. Grabbing my phone again, I looked down at the caller ID and didn’t recognize the number. Sending the caller to the voicemail, I grabbed the back of the chick’s, whose name I didn’t catch, head, and pumped in and out of her mouth.

  “Mmmmm.” She let out a muffled moan as I filled her mouth up with my cum.

  “Damn girl, you something serious.” I said, recovering from the massive load I just let loose.

  “Thank you, Daddy. I’m good at a lot more other things too.” She licked her lips.

  “I hear you.” I replied, with no intentions of taking this broad seriously.

  The fact that she sucked my dick in the back seat of my car because she got a glimpse of the thick bankroll I carried in my diamond-encrusted money clip, screamed she was a thirsty thot. I had morals. Had she gotten to know me before jumping and giving me neck in the back seat of my car, then I would have placed her in my back pocket and fucked with her from time to time. A trick like her wasn’t worthy of the dick. I wasn’t pressed for pussy so I was perfectly fine with excepting this bomb ass head she just blessed me with and walking away.

  I got money way before the deals, put my bitches in new pair of heels.

  My phone rang again from that same number, causing me to wrack my brain as to who could be calling me with such urgency.

  “Do you want to come back to my crib and finish this up?” She asked, sounding real dehydrated.

  “Nah, my baby sister blowing me up. She need a ride from her friend’s house.” I lied.

  “I thought Sage was your only sibling.” She said, shocking the fuck out of me. The fact that she knew my brother definitely rose a few red flags.

  “How the fuck you know my brother?” I asked looking at her sideways.

  “He used to fuck with my sister Brenda.” She replied.

  “What’s your name again?”

  “Kimie.”

  “Cool, but check me out. I gotta go pick up my baby sister so we just gon have to chop it up later.”

  “Take my number down.”

  Fuck! I screamed in my head, as I pulled up the dial pad on my phone.

  “What’s your number?”

  “954-789-9807,” She called off to me.

  “Got it, I’ll holla.” I lied.

  “Don’t be a stranger, baby.” She replied, reaching for the car door handle.

  “Iight.” I said, as I watched her get out my car.

  I got two phones, one for the plug and one for the load.

  My phone rang again from the same number.

  “Yo, who this is?” I answered.

  “Saire, it’s me.” The voice softly answered.

  “Xandy?”

  “Can you come get me please? I finished the program, and I have nowhere to go.” She said, tugging at the strings of my heart.

  Xandy was my ex, the only girl I ever took seriously. Back in 2013, a drug by the name of Flakka took over Broward County like a storm leaving a lot of people strung out, Xandy included. It started with her hitting a laced blu
nt with one of her friends, and from there, she spiraled out of control.

  When Xandy was on that drug, she used to do some of the craziest shit. She would walk up and down the street naked talking to herself, she was hallucinating and extremely paranoid, and she even OD’d a few times almost losing her life.

  I tried my best to help her, but when the love of the drug cost us the life of our baby, I decided enough was enough. If she wasn’t going to help herself, then I wasn’t going to be there for her. There was no use in me wasting my money on treatment programs when she was only going to run away.

  “Saire, are you there?” She asked.

  “I’m here man.” I cleared my throat.

  “I need you. I finally got the help. I did it; I’m clean, now I need you.”

  “I’m not playing these games with you Xandy.” I said sucking my teeth.

  “I’m serious, Saire. You have to believe me! Hold on; please don’t hang up” She begged.

  I could hear shuffling in the background then some voices. I heard Xandy say that she had her boyfriend on the line who didn’t believe that she completed the eight-month treatment program. I heard the woman reply telling her to pass her the phone then more shuffling.

  “Hello.” A lady’s voice spoke into the receiver of the phone.

  “What’s up.” I replied.

  “This is Gina Jackson, down at the Regain My Life treatment center, and Xandy has in fact completed the eight-month treatment plan. It was a long, difficult journey from the day she checked in. She even ran a few times, but I was determined to see her get clean. She graduated yesterday, and today, she has to leave. We need her room so we can help other patients. I told her if she didn’t have anywhere to go, I could help her get a bed at the women’s shelter, but she told me her boyfriend was coming to get her.” The lady spoke, causing me to clench the phone tightly in my hand.

  “What’s the address of the center?” I asked.

  As she read me off the address, I punched it into my car’s GPS, then hung up the phone. It had been one full year since I’d last talked to Xandy, so I wasn’t sure how to take this. When I left her for good, it fucked a nigga head up badly. She was my baby, and to see her go through that shit hurt me to the core. I often felt bad for leaving her, but her situation was hitting too close to home.

  Back in the day, my father used to be a big time dope dealer across the neighborhood. In his downtime, he liked to indulge in his product when he wanted to let loose and party. Unfortunately, my mother followed behind him. Although they both used to engage in doing drugs, my father knew how to indulge in moderation. He even stopped after a while; however, my mother wasn’t too fortunate. She became strung out to the point where she was plotting against my father for her next hit.

  My dad everything in his power to get her help being that he was partially responsible for the monkey that was now on her back. Regardless of what my mother did, my father never stopped loving her. Even when she disappeared for days and returned as if nothing happened, he would still welcome her home with open arms.

  Unfortunately, my mother was sold a bad batch of dope that claimed her life. My father slipped into a depression so deep that he ended up taking his life. I could remember like yesterday the night before he claimed his life.

  He was sitting in his favorite reclining chair when he called me into his man cave. On the table was a pre-rolled blunt and two shot glasses of Hennessey. On the floor next to his feet where two big duffle bags that were secured with locks.

  “Come smoke one and drink with ya ol’boy.” My father said to me.

  At the age of seventeen, I was used to smoking and drinking with my father so I thought nothing of it. As we sat and chilled, we talked about normal shit a father and son would talk about. He asked me about girls, what I wanted to be when I grew up, etc. He even dropped some knowledge about life on me.

  “This is all the money I got; I know you just lost your mother, but if something was to ever happen to me, I need you to take these bags and your brother and go to your auntie Lois’ house.” He said, before pouring himself another shot.

  “Ok.” I replied, not knowing that this would be the last drink and blunt I would share with my father.

  Later on that night, I was awakened to a loud gun shot. When I walked in my father’s man cave, I was greeted by his brain matter and blood that coated the walls. Slouched over in his favorite chair, a family picture that we all took when my mother was alive and well was in his lap.

  Shedding a few tears, I grabbed the bag and the picture and left the room. I knew the cops wouldn’t respond anytime soon; they never did in the hood, so I had time to pack me and my nine-year-old brother Sage some things. I carried everything to the car my father had purchased for me on my sixteenth birthday and placed them in the trunk. Walking back in the house, I carefully picked up my brother and carried his sleeping body to the car never looking back.

  When I arrived at Aunt Lois’ house, it was as if she knew what went down. She immediately went to my house so she could call the police and report what happened. After the funeral, we stayed with Lois until I turned eighteen. She was able to help me get full custody of my brother, and with the money my father left me, I made sure we were straight.

  As I sat outside of the treatment center, I contemplated on if I wanted to help Xandy. The fact that I still felt something for her scared the fuck out of me. Dealing with her and her demons forced me to relive what happened to my parents, and that was one closed door I wasn’t ready to open.

  Just as I was about to pull off and leave, Xandy walked out of the door with a pretty, heavy-set woman behind her. I wasn’t sure how she knew it was me, but she made her way to my car and stopped when she made it to the driver’s seat. Instead of opening the doors, I just sat there looking at her.

  When I first met Xandy, she went from looking like Blac Chyna to looking like a junkie. Being on drugs dissected all her curves and had her looking like a walking stick figure. The last time I saw her, when I put her out, she was wearing an oversized black t-shirt, a pair of short spandex shorts, and some long, yellow socks with a pair of flip-flops on her feet. Her once natural thick hair was matted, big black bags were under her eyes due to lack of sleep, and her face looked similar to a skeleton’s.

  Standing in front of me, Xandy looked so much better. Those eight months of rehab did her body very well. She still wasn’t as thick as she was when we first met, but she looked healthy. Her skin was clear and back to normal, her hair was braided in two braids going back, and the maxi dress she wore made her small curves visible.

  “Are you going to open the door?” She finally asked. Taking my eyes away from her, I hit the locks. “Thank you for coming.” She beamed, throwing her arms around me.

  Instead of the stale smell she had the last time I saw her, she smelt sweet.

  “You gon get in the car, or what?” I asked with my eyes still looking ahead.

  “I’m coming. Thank you for everything, Ms. Jackson. I appreciate it.” She yelled out before jogging towards the passenger seat.

  “Anytime, baby. Stay clean, and remember, if you need me, I’m here.” Ms. Jackson said before waving goodbye.

  “Where am I taking you?” I asked pulling out of the parking space.

  “I have nowhere to go; you know my peoples upped and move to a different state on me.” She sadly replied.

  As much as I wanted to say fuck it and drop her off at a hotel, my heart wouldn’t allow me to. No matter how much I tried to deny it, my heart still felt something for her. Just sitting here in her presence thinking of how good we used to be together had me smiling on the inside. My pride wouldn’t allow me to admit it, but I was really proud of herself for getting help.

  “Look.” She said, placing a piece of paper in my lap.

  “What is this?” I asked glancing down at it.

  “It’s my certificate of completion; I finally did it. I got help on my own; I’
m clean.” She beamed.

  “That’s good. Do you need anything?” I asked, heading in the direction of a shopping center.

  “I could use a few things if you don’t mind.”

  “Iight.” I reached towards the radio and turned the volume all the way up as I headed to the destination.

  When I reached the mall, I found a parking spot in front of the entrance and turned the car off. Without a word, I got out of the car with Xandy on my tail. She didn’t say a word as I pulled out one of my credit cards and handed it to her.

  “You’re not shopping with me like old times?” She smirked.

  “This isn’t like old times; I’ll be watching from a distance; do ya thing.” I replied waving her off.

  I hated to be so cold towards her, but my heart wouldn’t allow me to soften up. I just kept thinking of everything I did to help her. I kept thinking of my baby that didn’t get a chance to take its first breath. I thought of all the times I begged her to stop the drug use, cried for her to get clean, invested all money in the best treatment center Florida had to offer, but all to no avail. I was happy she got clean, but now it was a little too late.

  I slowly walked behind Xandy keeping a safe distance between us as she walked store to store and shopped. Surprisingly, instead of shopping at the high-end stores, she went to the smaller stores. I chuckled when I followed her into Footlocker remembering how much of a sneaker head she was. When we would have to go on business dates together, she would fuss when she had to turn in her pair of Jays for a pair of red bottoms. I think that’s what attracted me to her when I first met her… she was a tomboy but still kept it girly. She didn’t try too hard and simple was always an amazing look for her.

  “I’m done.” She sighed. “I do have to go to Target and get some personal items if that’s ok with you.”

  “Do what you do; I’ll hold your bags.” I replied, grabbing the bags from her hand.

  When she was finished grabbing everything she needed, I took her to one of the four-story apartment complexes I owned. I had a few fully furnished apartments on the top floor that were ready to move into. Since I respected her too much to drop her off at a hotel, I decided to let her crash at one of my places until she got on her feet.