Season of Hope

by Virginia Carmichael

  She dropped her gaze and took a shuddery breath. “But you don’t know me.”

  “I do, Evie, I do.” She squeezed her hand and laid the biscuit on the sheet. “You’re just like Gavin. He’s a big, strong man who is smarter than anyone I’ve ever met. So handsome but doesn’t know it. Girls just fall all over him.”

  Evie pushed her cutter into the dough a little forcefully. She knew all about how girls felt around Gavin.

  “But he’s scared, too. Scared of letting people down, of making mistakes, of not being the man he’s supposed to be.”

  “He doesn’t seem like it. He seems so capable. In control. Perfect,” Evie said. The last word came out softly, like an afterthought.

  She snorted. “Nobody’s perfect.”

  “I know, but compared to the rest of us.” She shrugged, lifting a biscuit to the tray.

  “Compared to the rest of us, he’s still not perfect. And he’s not trying to be.” Grandma Lili sighed. “No comparisons allowed. We are who we are, pasts and all.”

  Evie had a momentary burst of panic, wondering if Allison had shared the entire story with Grandma Lili. And it would only be a matter of time before Gavin heard the full story from someone other than herself.

  “Let’s get these in the oven. Ten minutes and we’ll be ready to eat. Why don’t you put the plates out, dear?”

  She nodded, forcing a smile to her face. She didn’t deserve this woman’s faith in her. She was too afraid to take that step, to tell Gavin the truth.

  * * *

  “Just a few minutes until dinner’s ready, I think.” Gavin hoped the idea of the impending dinnertime would give them all a chance to settle down. He chuckled as Jack slung Sean over one shoulder. The little boy’s giggles were muffled by the fabric of Jack’s plaid flannel shirt. Jack lowered Sean to the floor and Gavin held out his arms to the little boy. “How’s my guy?”

  Sean wrapped his arms around Gavin’s waist and buried his face in his stomach. “Good.” The word sounded a bit tired, or sad.

  He tipped up his godson’s face, one finger under his chin. “Having fun camping out?”

  He shrugged, small shoulders moving in unison. “Sure. When are we going home?”

  “We’ll have to talk to your mom about that.” Gavin felt his stomach clench. This couldn’t go on forever. But it wasn’t the right time to discuss it, either. One thing at a time. And that rosemary chicken definitely came first.

  A few minutes later they were all seated at the table, the smell of the roast chicken wafting around their little group. Grandma Lili at the head, Allison and Jack on one side, Gavin and Evie on the other side, Sean at the end. They all linked hands and bowed their heads. “Lord, we thank You for these gifts we are about to receive, from Your bounty, through Jesus Christ. Bless our family and friends, keep us safe from harm and within the arms of Your love. Bless all those struggling with illness, especially the babies who’ve caught the whooping cough.”

  “Amen.” The word, spoken in unison, made Gavin hope for a moment this would happen often, in better times, without fear.

  “How are the numbers today?” Grandma Lili was peering at Gavin, small frown lines etched between her eyebrows.

  “Better. Evie, I meant to tell you, another mom told us she’d read the signs of pertussis in the article and that was why she brought her baby in right away.”

  Her fork paused in midair, lips lifting up in a bright smile. “Really?”

  “Really.” He knew what she was feeling, saw the glint of tears in her eyes. Their articles had helped in a very concrete way. Maybe even saved lives.

  “I’m so proud of you two. You make a great team.” Grandma Lili patted Gavin’s hand and beamed at Evie. He felt heat spread over his face, wishing she wouldn’t be quite so obvious, but Evie seemed to take it as a straightforward compliment.

  “Did you read any of those fun magazines I brought over?” Grandma Lili switched her focus to her granddaughter.

  Allison took a bite of fresh green beans and shrugged. “Um, I paged through a few of them. I don’t have a lot of time to sit. Sean wanted to play Lego pirates most of the day.”

  “Did you at least take the quiz I told you about?” Grandma looked to Evie and said, “It’s such a silly quiz. You get it all filled out, it tells you what animal in nature you’d be. I was a badger. Which I liked. I think they’re hardworking and smarter than most people.”

  “I think I’d be a monkey,” Jack offered.

  “At this point, I would probably be anything that eats its own young,” Allison commented into her plate.

  Evie snorted with laughter. She didn’t have to be a mother to understand how long the days must seem for Allison.

  “Now, dear, have you been thinking about what you’re going to do? There was another article today. Senator McHale is denying everything. What’s your plan?” Grandma Lili passed the biscuits to her granddaughter and asked the question like she was stating tomorrow’s weather. Sean shoveled mashed potatoes into his mouth and didn’t seem to hear a word.

  “Grandma, I don’t know. I’m not sure.” She took a biscuit and handed the plate to Jack, her face heavy with worry.

  “Well, you can’t stay here, hiding in this apartment forever.”

  “She’s welcome to stay as long as she needs to,” Evie said quickly. Gavin flashed her a small smile. He could tell she was eager to reassure them, to never let them feel like burdens. He felt gratitude swell in his chest.

  “Of course she is. You’re a sweet girl. But are they never going to go outside again?” Grandma Lili’s blue eyes were wide, questioning.

  “Maybe we can discuss this later.” Gavin’s voice was quiet but firm. “She’s had a hard day.”

  “We’ve all had a hard day, dear. Except maybe Sean.” She winked at her grandson, who was busy covering his biscuit with raspberry jam. He grinned back at her, black hair sticking up right in the front.

  Allison stared down at her plate, appetite seemingly gone. Gavin felt her anxiety palpably and wished he could make this entire ugly situation disappear.

  He cleared his throat. “I know you don’t want me to boss you around, and I’m not trying to tell you what to do...”

  “But.” Allison said the word with a note of bitterness.

  “But you were right when you said it was time to stop hiding. You need to face it head-on. It’s only a story because it’s a secret. That’s how these things work. It will be big and ugly and loud for a while, then everyone will lose interest.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Evie’s shoulders hunch. He caught her gaze, and she offered a wan smile.

  “He’s going to be furious.” Allison’s voice was low.

  They all knew who Allison meant. She watched her little boy happily working his way through his biscuit. “People will hate me, and I can handle that. But if they hate him...”

  “People are half-blind with their own prejudices. And they will hate the person you used to be. But we loved you, wherever you were, always.” Grandma Lili reached over and laid a hand on hers.

  Evie met his gaze. The expressions that flickered on her face made his heart feel as if it was being clamped in a vise. A mix of hope and terror warred in her eyes. She was carrying a terrible burden—he knew it as surely as he knew his own name.

  In the next moment, she’d replaced that raw look of fear with a wobbly smile. He sucked in a breath, hoping he’d imagined it all, but knowing in his heart that he had not.

  “He’s going to deny it all, the way he did in the beginning.” Allison wiped her eyes. Her words brought Gavin back to the drama unfolding at the table.

  Gavin’s protective side wanted to have a man-to-man talk with Sean’s absentee father. But this was her fight. All he could do was stand behind her.

  “Okay
.” She wiped a tear from her cheek and managed a wobbly smile. “We’ll have to make this good because I don’t want to be making statements every morning.”

  “That’s my girl,” Gavin said. He knew she was tough, strong, but she just kept growing.

  Jack passed Allison a tissue, and Grandma Lili forced another biscuit on Evie. Gavin snatched a tall glass of water out of harm’s way as Sean reached for the jam again.

  All was well, for this perfect moment in time.

  But he knew, in a matter of days, they would be weathering a storm that had been building for years. What the damage would be, and the lasting effects, only time could tell. He prayed that God would give them all the strength to hold fast to honor and truth, no matter how painful it would be. As he met Evie’s eyes, he saw the same worry in her gaze. But it was just a note. The rest was resolution, determination and an iron will.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Coach! Watch this kick!” Gavin barely had time to dodge the soccer ball as it sailed over his head.

  “Nice one, Alec.” He gave a short clap for the sweaty-haired kid and hoped he got more of a heads-up next time. The Mission soccer team was really shaping up into some dedicated players.

  “Good news,” Grant called out to him as he crossed the gym at a jog, face creased with happiness. “Gabriel’s doing so well, the doctor said he’ll probably come home as soon as his course of antibiotics is finished.”

  Relief flooded through him, and he felt a smile stretch over his face. “I’m so glad.”

  Grant reached out, laying a hand on his shoulder. “I can’t thank you enough. Without those articles you and Evie ran in the paper, Calista wouldn’t have brought him in right away.”

  “I’m so glad that she did. And the numbers are falling by the day. I think you’re good to go on the Christmas pageant and the caroling.”

  “You saved the Mission’s Christmas, my friend.” Grant’s eyes shined with emotion.

  “Not me. I wish I could wipe pertussis from the face of the earth, but...” He felt his shoulders slump. Same old story. Never quite good enough.

  “Hey.” Grant gave him a steady look. “I give you points for trying, but there’s no reason to carry the responsibility of the world.”

  He shrugged. “Just the way I’m wired, I guess.” Well, since Patrick died, anyway.

  “Don’t lose sight of the good you’re doing.” The director looked concerned but left it at that. “Did you invite Evie to the pageant?”

  Gavin nodded. He wondered how many people knew how he felt about Evie. Probably anyone with eyes. “Sure did. We’ll be there, Christmas Eve.”

  It probably would have sounded odd to some people: an evening of kids reenacting the birth of the Savior, then a candlelight church service. But it felt right for them. Everything about Evie felt right. If only she felt the same way. The way she kept him at arm’s length told him she didn’t.

  Gavin’s cell phone rang and Grant nodded, motioning he’d help direct the soccer team for a moment.

  “It’s Grandma Lili. I’m just worried that Sean is cooped up in that apartment all day. It can’t be healthy for either of them. Don’t get me wrong. I know he’ll survive just fine. But Allison may not. She needs to have some time to herself, even if it’s just a few hours.” Her worried voice traveled over the line, delivering a load of grandmotherly guilt in just a few sentences.

  Gavin frowned. “I know, but I’m not sure what we can do about it until she sets the day for releasing the statement. And she’s waiting to hear something back from McHale.”

  “She could be waiting a long, long time. Meanwhile, is there any way you can sneak her out for a movie?”

  “It would be easier to take Sean out than Allison. He’s not as recognizable. Maybe we could take him up on the mountain for the day?”

  “Good idea. You and Evie can take Sean up sledding before Allison goes fruity.”

  Gavin smiled at the term. “I’ll call over there and ask if we can take him tomorrow morning.”

  He disconnected and jogged back to the kids, thoughts on a beautiful young woman and the promise of a snow day up on the mountain.

  * * *

  “This is the first Saturday I’ve had off in years.” Gavin clapped his hands in readiness. “Sleeping in might have done me more good than ten pots of coffee. I’m ready to sled!”

  Sean responded with a whoop and launched himself at his uncle. “Can we snowboard, too? I want to try everything!”

  His mother folded her arms over her chest and looked nervously at the pile of gear. “This seems like a lot of stuff for sledding. Are you sure it’s safe?”

  Evie slipped into the room and stood quietly near the couch. A pair of black leggings and a T-shirt and a pair of bright red woolen socks. It made no sense, but out of her everyday office clothes, she was stunning.

  “Jack says helmets are required for kids his age on the larger hills, and the other gear is just in case he decides to try out the boards.” She pulled her dark hair swiftly into a ponytail.

  “See what we got, buddy?” Gavin held up the Spider-Man ski mask and prayed that Sean would take to it. They would still go if he didn’t wear it. But it would be somewhere else, away from people. He had his ski cap and sunglasses in his car, so he’d be less recognizable, too.

  The little boy gaped at the bright red-and-blue cotton mask. “Wow,” he breathed. “Can I wear it right now?”

  “Um, I suppose you can.” Gavin grinned at Allison and was relieved to see a dawning sense of hopefulness in her eyes. She needed time by herself, and Sean needed time to be a little boy. Outside.

  “Mommy, what do you think?” He jumped around the room, bouncing from spot to spot, arms in the air.

  “Just like Spider-Man. Everyone’s going to want your autograph.” Allison bent down and gave him a quick hug. “Give me a kiss, superhero boy. And be careful.”

  “I will, Mommy. Don’t be lonely.” He was already heading to the door, Spidey mask on just a bit crooked.

  “Wait, Sean, I’m not quite ready.” Evie rushed back to the bedroom and Gavin could hear her rummaging in drawers. She emerged, a striped sweater and ski pants in one hand and a pair of boots in the other. “And just let me find my... There.” She pulled a weatherproof bag from the closet and stuffed in the pants. Slipping on the bright sweater, she quickly laced up her boots.

  She jumped up. “Now I’m ready!” Her eyes were bright with excitement, and Gavin wondered who was going to be happier to be on the mountain: her or Sean. She had seemed so preoccupied the past week or so, but she’d said there were problems with the paper. It must be hard to watch something you love struggle.

  “Have fun and don’t leave your phone sitting around.” He waved to his sister, who stuck her tongue out at him in a sisterly way. “We’ll call you as soon as we get up there.”

  Evie opened the door and they headed for Gavin’s car, each of them carrying armloads of items. Sean bounced in front of them, hardly touching the ground. “I can’t wait! I can’t wait! I can’t wait!”

  The sun was bright, and there wasn’t a bit of wind—perfect. Nothing like a cold wind to make you want to stay home. Sean needed an outing, and it was going to be better than anything he could imagine. Gavin pushed the thought of Allison’s dilemma far from his mind. There was just today. Winter sun, perfect blue sky, a beautiful girl, a crazy little kid and a whole lotta snow. He caught Evie’s bright gaze and grinned. It couldn’t go wrong.

  * * *

  Evie’s calf muscles were burning as she trudged up the long sledding hill. The ski lifts whirred in the distance, and the new dusting of snow sparkled on every surface.

  “I think we’re going to need some serious food to make up for all these calories burned,” Gavin said from her other side, the sled rope in his hand. Sean
had wanted to get a ride back up the hill, as well as a ride down, but his uncle nipped that idea in the bud.

  “Spoken like a man. I don’t usually go looking to make them up.” This was their tenth time up the hill and her parka was beginning to feel a little warm. A whole ski suit would have been overkill. She’d avoided the Michelin Man look out of pride, not wanting to look puffy and awkward, but now she was glad she’d worn light ski pants.

  “Are you sure you’re having fun?” he asked, shooting her a glance. He’d seemed careful, cautious around her. He was probably worried that she was getting tired of Allison and Sean at her apartment. Nothing could be further from the truth. If she was tired of anything, it was worrying about how he would react when she told him the truth about her past. It would be too awkward while Allison was living with her. She had to wait until after the press conference, which Allison said might be in the next week. Evie wanted it to be over, but at the same time, she wanted more days like these in the future. Days of coming home to laughing voices, trips to the mountain with Gavin and Sean and seeing this man almost every day. Her heart constricted just thinking of how fast it would all be over.

  Sean piped up, cheery little boy voice echoing in the cold air, “Yes, Uncle Gavin!”

  Evie smiled at him. “Me, too.”

  “This will be good practice for when we have kids, anyway.” Gavin shot her a glance. “I mean, kids you have and kids I have. Separately.”

  Evie stopped, one hand on her hip. “Separately? What exactly are you saying?”

  His face was turning pink. “I mean, we could have them together, if you wanted.”

  “If I wanted. That’s not a very romantic offer,” she said, her eyes narrowing.

  “Come on, guys!” Sean was tugging her hand, and Evie couldn’t hold her face straight any longer. She burst out laughing as she trotted after Sean.