Season of Hope

by Virginia Carmichael

  “I underestimated your inherent meanness.” Gavin was alongside them, easily keeping pace while dragging the large wooden sled.

  “Sorry. It was too good to resist. First we were having kids and then we weren’t and then we were having some if I wanted.”

  As she repeated the words back to him, his lips quirked up. “Sounds like I have a decision-making disorder, but my mind is amazingly clear.”

  They were almost at the top. Evie was thinking she probably wasn’t going to be able to roll out of bed tomorrow morning. She was going to be crippled from all this exercise.

  Most of the sledders were on their way back down; only Sean, Evie and Gavin remained at the very peak, like mountaineers attaining the summit. She paused, turning to him. His gaze was intense; it spoke volumes into the relative silence at the top of the hill.

  Evie felt her breath catch in her throat. He was so near, she could feel the heat radiating off him. He reached out a hand and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek, his fingers warm against her skin. She wanted to lean forward and inhale his familiar smell. His lips turned up at the corners as if he knew just what she was thinking. Evie felt her face go hot. She must be so obviously smitten, but part of her just didn’t care. She wanted him to know how much he meant to her, this fiercely protective man who wanted to save the world. And in the next moment, she remembered that she still had a very big conversation to have with this man. Her heart squeezed in her chest.

  She quickly turned to Sean, holding out his mittens. “Hey, let’s get these back on you before the next go-round.”

  “Hey, Gavin!” The shout caught Evie’s attention. Jack was loping toward them up the slope, huge smile on his face.

  “I was hoping to catch you guys up here today. I found someone to take my beginning snowboarder up the mountain so I could hang out.” Huge neon ski goggles were pushed up on Jack’s knit hat, and his green pants matched his jacket. The modern paint splatter pattern made him look like a giant ink blot.

  “Great. We’re just thinking of trying out a snowboard on the bunny hill.” Gavin hoisted the sled over his shoulder and pointed to a small lump down near the lodge.

  “Jack, I think we should take a bathroom break before we start with the snowboarding lessons.” Evie waggled her eyebrows at her brother, hoping he got her drift. Kids Sean’s age would get too excited to take time for the essentials. And that would sure put a damper on their outing.

  “Evie’s right. Let’s sled down, hit the bathrooms, grab some hot chocolate and do the bunny hill next.” Gavin mouthed a “thank you” as he steered Sean toward the sled.

  It only took seconds for Sean to reach the bottom of the hill. “Oh, Uncle Gavin, why? We were just having so much fun and now we have to stop.” Sean’s shoulders slumped as he trudged after his uncle.

  “A quick break, kiddo, then we’re back on the slopes.”

  “But I don’t want hot chocolate. I want to snowboard.” Even behind the Spider-Man mask and under the helmet, Evie could tell Sean was disappointed.

  “No hot chocolate? I thought you lived on it.” She tried to jostle him out of his mood, but his blue eyes just blinked at her. “My hands are freezing and my toes are numb. Don’t you want to warm up a bit?”

  “I feel fine. I’m not cold at all.” He stomped up the flagstone steps to the lodge deck. Evie sure hoped he was telling the truth. She didn’t want to bring him back to Allison with frostbite. The bathroom trip was non-negotiable, though.

  Gavin reached for the giant lodge doors, swinging one side open and standing aside to let them through.

  She glanced up at Gavin as he held the door and smiled. She didn’t care where she was, in the bright sunlight on a gorgeous mountaintop or on a frozen park bench, she just loved being with him. Being near him was becoming something essential, like sunlight or food. A thrill went through her that was chased by a healthy dose of fear. Being near Gavin might not always be a possibility.

  After she convinced Sean to head into the bathroom, he refused to sit down at the table Gavin had chosen in the corner, away from the crowds. “Jack said he’d take me outside. Please, Uncle Gavin?”

  “You guys can sit in here and warm up. You’ll be able to see us.” Jack pointed toward the bright, glittery slope in front of the lodge. Small, helmeted children were being coaxed up and down the gentle swells by cautious adults.

  “We’ll be right here if you need us.” Gavin looked hesitant but didn’t seem to find a reason to object.

  “Don’t forget your mittens!” Evie jumped up to put on the little pair of gloves and made sure Sean’s coat was zipped to the top. His hood was up, the Spider-Man ski mask hiding everything but his blue eyes and his mouth, which was split in a huge grin.

  She watched Jack and Sean head back out the door, snowboards in hand. He was so good with kids, a natural father. Who knew where he got it from. Their own father had never spent much time with them.

  “So, you’re not going to get tired of us, are you? We’re over at your place all the time. I’m expecting Grandma Lili to bring her bridge group on Tuesdays if you don’t lay down the law.”

  She felt laughter rise in her throat. “I’d love Grandma Lili to move in. She cooks like a dream.”

  “And the rest of us? I’m sorry if I’ve been invading your space. Up here at Echo Mountain today and then brunch tomorrow and Christmas right after that. You’re probably ready to apply for the witness protection program.”

  “I think it would take more than a few home-cooked dinners and a great ski day to make me avoid you.” Evie felt her cheeks warm again. She couldn’t resist flirting with him, even if their time together was running out.

  He leaned back in his chair and tapped a finger on his chin. “You could always add Sunday church and see if that makes me even more tired of you. Just for kicks.”

  She grinned. “Oh, but you go to the early service with all the old ladies. Jack would never forgive me if I left him alone at the ten o’clock on a permanent basis.”

  “So, what will we do? Are we cursed to attend different services for the rest of our lives?”

  The rest of our lives. Her heart thudded in her chest, but she pretended to consider the problem. “You’ll never be able to convince Lili to come later?”

  “Not a chance. Only for special occasions. Christmas. Easter. Weddings.” He said this last word with a wink and chuckled as her face flamed.

  “Well, then we’re doomed. Might as well face it.”

  “I never figured you for a pessimist.”

  She watched Gavin surreptitiously from under her lashes. He was completely at ease, coat tossed across the bench, gray sweater showing off all the time he spent in the gym, blond hair mussed from his hat. She loved the way his heavy brows made him look a bit serious all the time, even when he was happy. He turned to the window, keeping an eye on Sean. One corner of his mouth tugged up as Sean flailed into the snow and Jack leaped to pull him upright.

  He glanced up and caught her watching him. She dropped her eyes to her mug, stirring the dregs with a spoon.

  “What were you thinking just now?”

  Evie tossed back her hair and tried to look as if she weren’t inwardly writhing in embarrassment. What could she say? I was remarking over your every feature, noting each bit of perfection. She searched around for something, anything.

  He reached for her hand and rubbed his thumb along her knuckles. His hand was so large compared to her own. His fingers were warm, sheltering. She never wanted to let him go.

  “I never know what you’re thinking,” he said.

  “You’re not so easy to read yourself.” She wanted to reach out and run her fingers along his jaw, his cheek, across his lips. The corner was dark, and the fire crackled merrily a few feet away. Every detail, from the wisp of smoke from the logs to the exposed timbers
in the lodge, Evie wanted to catalogue for later. Soon, she would have to admit her part in Allison’s downfall, and she was sure there wasn’t going to be another day like this for them. Not together, holding hands near the fireplace on a perfect, snowy day. She sighed and looked out the window—and gasped.

  Jack was holding Sean’s ski mask in one hand and pumping a fist into the air with the other. Sean was zooming down the bunny hill, small feet planted perfectly on the snowboard. He was heading directly for the wedge-shaped jump, and his miniature figure was gaining speed with every second. Evie stood up, arms raised, as if she could warn them through the glass.

  The next moment, Sean hit the jump and launched into the air. He floated gracefully for several seconds. Then he crashed to earth with a sound that wasn’t audible to them but was to other people on the slope, who came running to his aid.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Gavin reached the door before he’d even begun to process what he’d seen. The icy blast of air seemed to knock the breath from his lungs as he sprinted toward Sean. By the time Gavin slid to a kneeling position near his nephew’s small body, Jack was already wiping the snow from his face, gently unbuckling the helmet straps.

  “I think he just had the wind knocked out of him.” Jack’s voice was shaking, higher than normal.

  “You think?” Gavin growled the sarcastic comment. He was trying to keep his temper in check, but he was torn between wanting to scoop up Sean and strangle Jack. “What were you thinking? He’s five!”

  “He hit it just right, it was perfect. He just forgot to...land.”

  “Oh, he landed.” Gavin leaned over Sean’s face and tried to sound calmer than he felt. “Can you hear me?”

  In response Sean screwed up his face and started to cry.

  “Does it hurt? Can you tell me where it hurts?” He had never felt so helpless, watching his nephew lying on the hard-packed snow, curious onlookers gathering around.

  “My rear end hurts.” Sean finally managed to squeak out a few words. Tears leaked out of his eyes and he struggled to sit up.

  “Here, sweetie.” Evie was there, kneeling next to them, wiping Sean’s tears with a soft tissue. “Come on up and let’s go sit inside for a second.”

  He sniffed loudly and stood up. “Why are all these people here?”

  Gavin gazed around at the small crowd and felt his stomach knot with alarm. “Where’s your ski mask, buddy?”

  “It was hot so we took it off....” Jack’s voice trailed away as he looked at the mask in his hand.

  Evie threw him a look that said he’d get a lecture later and snatched the mask from his hand. “Better let me have it for now.”

  “I think I want to try it again.” Sean sniffed a few times and then grabbed his snowboard, trying to stand in the brackets. Gavin couldn’t help but be impressed with the kid’s toughness.

  “Are you sure? We can take a break.”

  “I’m sure. Jack, can we go back up?”

  He looked at Evie, who seemed to be having a silent conversation with her brother. “Okay, but you better put this back on or you’ll get more snow in your face if you biff it.”

  Sean stepped over to let Evie put on the mask, then the helmet.

  “Hi, guys.” Gavin turned to see a young woman with brown hair and blue eyes, smiling hugely at them, large camera around her neck. The hair on the back of his neck stood up as she stared openly at Sean’s retreating figure.

  “Amy, hi. Aren’t you visiting that goat farm today?” Evie had crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Oh, sure, it was great. Got lots of pictures. I came up here to see if I can get some good shots for the Sunday sports page.” Her gaze flicked between Gavin and Evie.

  “The sports page?” Evie’s voice held a note of something he couldn’t define.

  “Sure. You know, in case they wanted some good sledding shots for the front. Is this your boyfriend?” Amy stepped toward Gavin and put out her hand. Gavin had the faint impression of a predator sniffing for prey.

  “Yes, I’m Gavin.” He took her hand, expression neutral.

  “Amy Morket, reporter for The Chronicle. Well, nice to meet you. See you at work, boss.” Another thorough once-over and Amy turned back to the lodge. The crowd of worried bystanders drifted away, murmuring words of relief at Sean’s lack of injury.

  Evie blew out a breath. “That girl reminds me of myself ten years ago. And not in a good way. Questions, all the time.”

  He slipped an arm around her shoulders. “Isn’t that usual for reporters?”

  She thought about it for a moment. “Journalists are a curious lot, that’s for sure. But most of us know not to be annoying about it. It’s the way she pops up everywhere. She’s supposed to be touring a goat farm today, but instead she’s up here. I can’t hardly turn around without bumping into her.”

  Jack let out a whoop as Sean managed a small hill, this time without falling face first into the snow. “He’s a natural!” he called toward them.

  Evie sent him a thumbs-up and let out a laugh. “My brother should never come off this mountain. He’s so happy up here.” The smile faded from her face. “And I think if he gets up the nerve, he’s going to quit his job and do just that.”

  “Better now than when he has a family to support.”

  She watched him adjust the snowboard, settling Sean’s boots into the latches. “I want him to be happy, even if he makes almost nothing. He was never made to sit in an office all day. I wish our father could see that.”

  He understood. He wished for a lot of things, mostly to understand what made his parents act the way they did. How could they possibly reject Sean? How could they refuse to see Allison because she kept her baby? But he still loved them. Strangely, illogically, his heart still ached for their family to be whole.

  At the bottom of the hill once more, Sean trudged through the snow toward them, small figure showing obvious signs of tiredness. Jack had the board over one shoulder and was smiling ear to ear.

  “He did great! Probably the easiest kid I ever taught.”

  The little boy lifted his face to his uncle and beamed. “Did you hear that?”

  “I sure did, buddy.” Gavin sat him on the bench and gave him a hug. “Are you ready to call it a day?”

  “Yeah, I bet my mom is really sad without me.” His big blue eyes were deadly serious.

  “Do you want to call her and tell her we’re coming back? Then she will know you’re on your way.” Evie held up her cell phone and Sean nodded.

  They headed to the car while Sean chattered on her phone.

  Gavin looked over at Evie and couldn’t help the warmth that spread through his chest. What a perfect morning. He hadn’t thought about work once. Maybe that wasn’t a good thing, but it sure felt good right now.

  She slid him a look. “What are you thinking about?”

  He coughed, surprised. “That’s my line.”

  “It’s hard for me to read your expression. Like, right now, you seemed happy, but then your eyebrows came down like this.” She demonstrated with a fierce scowl.

  He couldn’t choke back the laughter. “Okay, I look nothing like that.”

  Evie shrugged a sort of “have it your way” motion and smiled. “Anyway, are you happy? Or mad? Or both?”

  “I just...was realizing how little I think about work when I’m with you and wondering if that was good or bad.”

  She nodded. “The other day I forgot something important at least three times. This probably doesn’t bode well for future success in our careers.”

  He almost tripped over a lump of icy snow in the parking lot as he turned to grin at her. Those bright blue eyes, the sweet smile framed by dimples. She was strong, faithful, funny. She exuded life, grace.

  But Gavin had always been th
e serious science geek, the lab rat who spent his time working instead of socializing. Patrick’s memory had consumed him as he fought his solitary battle. She was all about the community and bringing people together. Could they find a place together, meet in the middle? Was he wrong to even think of making room in his life for something other than his scientific work?

  She stopped and pointed. “See, right there. You did it again!”

  “What? Did what?”

  Sean was still describing his every snowboard maneuver to his mom on the phone, and he obligingly stood still next to them.

  “You were smiling, then it just faded away.” Her face was set in a stubborn frown. “You know, if you’re having second thoughts, about this,” she waved a hand between them, “it’s okay to tell me. I don’t want you to hide your reservations because you don’t want to hurt me.”

  She was worried that he might not really like her. Love her.

  Sean continued to chatter as Gavin stepped toward Evie, reaching out a hand to her cheek. Her skin was silky soft but hot to the touch. He slipped his hand behind her head, running his fingers up into her hair. Her eyes went half-closed. He could see a pulse jumping at the base of her throat, her lips parted slightly. He leaned in, promising himself just one kiss. Her perfume was clean, light. He felt her hands up against his chest, and he slipped an arm around her waist, drawing her near. Her breath was warm against his mouth. Nothing had ever felt so perfect.

  “And they’re kissing. No, real kissing. Right now. Uh-huh... Still kissing.” Sean’s voice cut through the fog that was wrapped around his brain.

  A tug on the back of his coat. “Uncle Gavin, my mom says to knock it off.”

  Evie leaned back with a gasp, her hand to her mouth, eyes wide with laughter.

  Gavin kept an arm around her waist and growled back, “Tell your mom she’s being bossy.”

  Sean dutifully repeated the message. Evie shook with laughter, her face pink.

  “She says if you can’t control yourself,” he paused, listening to his mother, “she can get a bucket of ice water ready.”