Tempting Flame (The Jendari Book 1)

by DJ Michaels

  His link to the Goddess opened and Her love flooded him, and in turn he shared that love with Jaz. Wrapping her in his magic as well as his body, filling her with his love as well as his desire.

  Every stroke was agonizingly exquisite, every gasp of air made him want to scream in triumph. And when she came for him, she triggered an orgasm that was both glorious and brutal.

  "I love you," he said in Jendari. "And I have no idea how to let you go."

  ****

  Tallis managed to steal not just a night but a full day as well. Using the argument that it would be safer for Jaz to go home under the cover of darkness, he managed to rationalize a decision that had bad news written all over it.

  He couldn't bring himself to care. For a full, glorious day he indulged himself in his beautiful human. She petted him, both cat and man, and she opened herself up to whatever pleasure he took in her body. They ate, they slept, they talked and they made love. And with every tick of the clock their time grew shorter.

  Tallis was just putting away the dinner dishes when Jaz entered the kitchen fully dressed with her purse clutched in her hands. The sight of her ready to leave hit him like a sword blow. For a moment his chest squeezed so tight he had to hold onto the bench to stay upright.

  "I have to go." Her voice quavered, but she held herself ramrod straight.

  "Yes." Tallis knew she was right, even though he didn't want her to be.

  "Thank you, Tallis. For everything." She stood on the other side of the kitchen, using the large island bench as a barrier between them.

  "Jaz…" He took two steps towards her.

  "No." She backed away and her blue-green eyes welled with tears. "Don't say anything, don't try to touch me. I've spent the last ten minutes steeling myself to leave and it won't do either of us any good if I lose my nerve now." She blinked and two fat, shiny tears slid down her cheeks. "Please, Tallis. Just call a cab for me and let me go."

  He'd known this was coming. There was no other way for their liaison to end. It was the best thing for both of them, but in this moment he hurt so badly he couldn't breathe. The real world came crashing down and both cat and man screamed in silent fury. His heart fought with his head. His cat fought with the man. And his love for her fought with his sense of honor.

  She was ready to leave him, and Tallis knew this time it would be for good. There would be no more stolen days and nights. He would never again put aside his duty and indulge in the joy of having her in his bed.

  They'd come too far for that.

  Their first encounter had been a one-off, a short affair with defined boundaries and expectations. But this time the boundaries had disappeared and nothing was clear. They'd intertwined heart, body and soul—and it was a connection they had to sever. Permanently.

  So he stood by the island bench and braced himself to watch the only woman he had ever loved walk out the door.

  Jaz scrubbed at the tears on her face. "It's too dangerous for us to be together. You said so yourself."

  "I did." It was. And prolonging this final goodbye wasn't helping either of them. His heart was being ripped from his chest and all he could do was stand there and let himself bleed. "Your presence in my life has been a precious gift, shamira. Thank you."

  Jaz nodded but didn't speak and it was clear she was barely holding herself together. In the oppressive silence he called a cab, escorted her to the elevator, and watched her go. No last words, no final touches, no lingering kiss goodbye. There was nothing but an agony of emotion and a crushing loss that smothered his flame to ashes.

  He stumbled back into his apartment and made straight for his room. Stripping off he crawled into bed and curled himself around Jaz's pillow. He breathed her in, but her distinct perfume only magnified his sense of loss. Surrounded by her scent, he laid in the dark wide eyed and waited for dawn to come.

  ****

  The following day the best he could do was go through the motions. He turned up to work on time, he took his scheduled breaks, and he performed his duties. But he felt like a dead man walking.

  Day two wasn't any improvement. His only highlight was a half-hour interview with Borini where Tallis outlined his plan to protect Jaz. They sat in Borini's office, hammering out the details, and when they wrapped up Tallis made to leave. When Borini waved Tallis back into his seat he subsided with a resigned sigh. It seemed he wasn't going to escape without Borini offering his own brand of wisdom.

  "You look like shit," he said, glaring across the desk.

  "I know." Tallis privately thought looking like shit was actually a compliment considering how shredded he was on the inside. "Just give me some time. I'll sort myself out eventually."

  "Perhaps you need to go back to New Havilah for a while. Being at the settlement might help you regain your balance."

  Tallis nodded though he had no enthusiasm for the suggestion. "As soon as I'm sure Jaz is safe, I'll make the arrangements."

  Borini narrowed his gaze. "Make sure you do, and make it soon."

  "Yes, nadir."

  Huffing out an exasperated sigh, Borini leaned forward. "I can see how much you care about her, how much the separation is going to cost you. But you have to relinquish her."

  "I know. And I have." Physically at least. Emotionally, he had no idea how to cut the ties.

  "Have you phased since she left?"

  Tallis shook his head. "No. I don't think that's a good idea." At Borini's raised eyebrow, Tallis explained. "The tigaren loves her even more than I do. I was fighting his need for her even before I gave into my own desire. I have no idea what impact that side of me will have on my emotions or my ability to stay the course."

  "Do it anyway." There was no room to wriggle out of Borini's command. "You have to bring your animal side forward and deal with whatever he's feeling. There's no point just focusing on the Jendari aspect of your personality. You may as well try to save a house from falling by only propping up one side."

  "Very well."

  Borini was right, but the idea didn't fill Tallis with joy. At least as a man he had his intellect and logic to help convince him he was doing the right thing. The cat was a creature of instinct, far closer to his base nature than Tallis was in his two-legged form.

  It was hard enough dealing with the heartache of the man—Tallis dreaded to think what he'd have to endure once his cat was set free.

  Chapter Seventeen

  That night Tallis arrived home to find Itohan waiting for him in the lounge room.

  "I'm glad you're here, my brother." Dropping to his knees on the thick rug, Tallis pulled the me'hendra into his arms. "I'm having a tough time."

  Missing your mate?

  Yes.

  Go get her?

  No. I have to keep her safe, and the best way for me to do that is to let her go.

  Itohan pushed his head into Tallis's neck and offered a sympathetic lick. No understand. Safest place for mate is with you and me.

  That was both true and not true. Tallis was too heartsore to explain the complexities of the situation to a creature who always saw the world in absolutes.

  "I need you to help me with something else."

  Yes.

  That automatic assent almost brought a smile to Tallis's face. "I'm going to phase and I'll need you to monitor me. My cat misses Jaz as much as I do and I don't know if I can trust myself to stay here once I go furry. Will you make sure I don't leave the penthouse?"

  Itohan pulled back a little, pinned Tallis with neon-green eyes, and cocked his head. I should help cat, not man.

  Please, Itohan. This is important.

  Itohan chuffed in disapproval, but eventually he nodded his head. Agree. I will keep tigaren here.

  Thank you.

  Releasing Itohan, Tallis moved several feet away and began to sing. The power of the Goddess filled him, Her love pulsing through him with every beat of his heart.

  He knew something was wrong the moment the phase was complete. His four-legged form felt listless, n
ot powerful. Rather than burning to get to Jaz, which his Jendari half had feared, the cat was too heartsick to do anything but lie on the floor.

  Tallis? Itohan crept closer and rested his head against the back of Tallis's neck. You sadder in fur than you are in skin.

  Yes. And Tallis had thought such a thing was impossible.

  He felt hollowed out, numb, and utterly without hope or direction.

  Itohan dropped down to lie on his belly, turning his head to offer Tallis a couple of sympathetic licks.

  Then he coughed, spluttered, and shot to his feet. Change back.

  What?

  Phase! Right now!

  Tallis complied almost without thinking. When he was back in his body, clothed in the hated suit instead of his fur, he turned to the me'hendra. "What's wrong?"

  Itohan pawed at a clump of black fur on the rug. You molting. In chunks.

  Badria save him. That was bad, very bad.

  Losing fur during a seasonal change was normal and healthy. Shedding out of season was often a sign of illness or stress. Tallis had never heard of a clawed and furred rhe'hashan losing his or her pelt in big clumps like the one now resting on the floor.

  Itohan prowled closer. You feel sick? Tired?

  "Yes." Tallis rubbed his hand over his face. "But that's to be expected after everything that's happened." After all, in the space of a few weeks he'd fallen in love, let her go, rescued her from his enemies, fallen deeper in love, and then let her go again. Anyone would feel battered after that.

  Then Itohan jammed his wet, clammy nose against Tallis's neck and begin to sniff. Down one side of his body and up the other, then front and back. When he was done the me'hendra came and sat squarely in front of Tallis.

  You smell wrong. Need to see healer.

  "I plan to go to New Havilah at the end of the week."

  No. Tomorrow.

  Okay, this was bad. Itohan was a hard-ass and he wouldn't recommend a healer for anything less than an amputated limb. If he told Tallis to get to New Havilah, then Tallis needed to start packing his bags.

  "I can't go straight away. I have something important to do tomorrow night. But I promise I'll go as soon as I can."

  Itohan leaned forward until their foreheads were pressed together. Promise soon.

  Yes, I promise.

  ****

  The following night Tallis stood opposite the security wall of a two-story Georgian home settled in five acres of gardens and manicured lawns. He'd familiarized himself with the routines of the armed guards. He knew the placement of every surveillance camera down to the inch.

  Deasun and Kasim stood with him, shoulder to shoulder in the shadows of the park across the street. For once, they were hunting without their me'hendra.

  As they waited for the night to get a little bit darker and a little bit later, Tallis tried to keep his mind on task. He couldn't afford to fuck this up, and he knew he had to stay focused. But he was struggling.

  Being without Jaz was causing a vast emptiness to grow inside him. The dark void was impervious to light and it sapped him of hope and energy. He tried to appear normal but the effort cost him dearly. He'd been in bed more than he'd been out of it in the last few days.

  This morning Tallis had tried phasing again. Luckily he'd been alone because once in cat form he'd felt so nauseous he'd actually thrown up. His fur had fallen out again, this time leaving small, skin-baring patches all over his body. After that horrifying experience he stayed in two-legged form, just to be on the safe side.

  Although his Jendari half wasn't faring much better. This afternoon he'd experienced a dizzy spell that had forced him to drop his ass to the floor. A fact he'd neglected to share with his brothers before they headed out this evening. He couldn't risk a repeat of that episode on this mission, so he'd taken a belly full of stimulant to keep him sharp. It was a resource rarely used by the rhe'hashan, and one frowned upon in most circles. Needless to say, he hadn't mentioned drug use either.

  The night was moonless and clouds covered the stars. Tallis, Deasun, and Kasim were infiltrating their objective using skills, not tech. They planned to reserve the use of their wristbands until they entered the mansion.

  When they'd rescued Jaz, Tallis hadn't wanted to leave anything to chance. They'd killed all the guards so there was no one left behind to tell tales. This mission was different. It wasn't a rescue, it was a warning, and the whole purpose was to get in and out unobserved and unscathed.

  Inside the stately home slept the spokesman for the Humans for Earth Coalition. During Jaz's rescue, Hadar had managed to interrogate one of the guards before delivering the killing stroke. The man had confessed to being HEC and he'd made no apologies for exploiting Jaz to get to Tallis.

  The mere thought of it made his teeth grind.

  Tallis didn't want there to be any mistake about how serious Jendari justice could be. The dead guards at the compound were the hard edge of his warning. And tonight, Glen Tucker would feel the darker side of the rhe'hashan's skill set.

  The head of the HEC was ex-military, and he would understand it took more skill to sneak in quietly than it did to come in weapons hot. Tallis wanted to terrorize him. He wanted to put the fear of the Goddess into the man who'd dared to sanction Jaz's abduction. Entering his home without so much as bruising a human would scare Tucker more than a heavy-handed show of force.

  "Shift change in two minutes," Deasun whispered. "Are you ready, Tallis?"

  "Yes." Tallis ignored the fact that Dea didn't ask if Kasim was ready. Apparently the fact that Tallis wasn't his usual self hadn't gone unnoticed.

  They waited, their internal clocks counting down. "One minute," Dea said. "Let's go."

  As one, they ran from the tree cover, flowing across the street, their boots soundless on the road surface. Kasim reached the wall first and he turned so his back was to the stone wall. Bending his knees and cupping his hands, he gave Deasun a boost. Using all of his six and a half feet, Dea gripped the top of the wall and locked himself into place. Tallis moved quickly, using Kasim and Deasun as a ladder to get to the top. Once there, he pulled a small laser tool from his belt, slicing through three of the six lines of barbed wire that ran along the apex of the wall.

  Hauling himself up to lie flat he secured the laser and got a firm grip on Dea's wrist. "Kasim."

  At that whispered command, Kasim used Deasun's body to climb the wall before mirroring Tallis's position. Then they hauled Dea up before dropping down inside the grounds.

  The moment their feet hit the grass they were running again, this time towards the back of the house. Tallis's heart rate was elevated, beating much too fast for the amount of activity he'd done. It was a side-effect of the stimulant—along with body tremors and a crippling hangover. Which was why the rhe'hashan never used it. Tallis's reputation would be ruined if anyone found out he'd stooped so low.

  But this mission was too important to leave to anyone else, and he wasn't fit for duty in his stimulant-free condition.

  As they moved closer to the building, Tallis used his wristband to check for heat signatures. "We're clear of external patrols. There are two men in a room on the ground floor, and with the tech I'm sensing, I figure that's their security room."

  Kasim was checking his own data. "I'll take them. You find the bedroom."

  "I'll watch your back," Deasun said.

  "Good. Stay sharp." Tallis's instruction was more for himself than his friends. Of the three of them, he was the biggest liability on this mission.

  Using their wristbands to cut the electrics, they forced open a ground-floor window and slipped into the house. Kasim hurried off to silence the guards before they could call for help while Tallis and Deasun made their way upstairs.

  Luckily for Tallis, Glen Tucker courted publicity. There had been more than one article written about the leader of HEC and the historic mansion in which he lived. The glossy, home decor photos weren't as good as a floor plan, but they were enough to give Tallis a rough ide
a where the main bedroom should be.

  It took under two minutes to find it.

  Slipping inside the door, he set off a small pulse charge that would incapacitate a human body, but leave the mind alert. It was a smaller version of the device used when the Jendari had their first encounter with the leaders of this world.

  The moment he engaged the pulse Tallis hurried over to the bed. He assumed Tucker's partner would be in the bed with him, and Tallis had no desire to frighten her or drag her into her mate's mess. Before she could fully wake, Tallis placed his hand on her forehead and sang her to sleep. Ordinarily that would be difficult to do without her consent, but she'd been deep in slumber and the pulse weapon hadn't roused her to full wakefulness. She slipped back into unconsciousness between one breath and the next.

  Tucker, on the other hand, was wide awake. Body immobile, he could do nothing but dart his eyes around, trying to see what he could within his limited range of vision. Tallis was only too happy to help him out.

  There was a digital clock on the bedside table giving out enough light that Tucker would be able to make out Tallis's shape but not his features. Climbing onto the bed and straddling the human's waist, Tallis placed his hand around Tucker's neck and leaned forward.

  "This is a warning." Tallis kept his voice low and menacing. "I am here to show you how exposed you are. How easy it is for me and my kind to hit you where you're most vulnerable." Tallis let his fingers contract, just a little. "I could choke the life out of you right now. I could murder you and your mate as she sleeps. And I will, if you ever again use one of my friends to get to me." Reluctantly, he eased his grip on Tucker's throat.

  "If anything happens to Jasmine Teale, or any of the humans working with us at the tower, I'll come back for you. I'll take you and I'll keep you. I'll make you watch as I destroy every person you love, and then I'll kill you long and slow." Tallis leaned down until they were almost nose to nose. "Blink once if you understand me."