Tempting Flame (The Jendari Book 1)

by DJ Michaels

  Blink.

  "In the last few weeks someone tried to kill me, and one of my friends was abducted in order to draw me out. I don't care if you gave the order or not, I'm holding you responsible. And I will hold you accountable if anything like that happens again to me or to any Jendari." Tallis eased back and pulled a dagger from the scabbard in his boot. Resting the tip of the blade against Tucker's rapidly beating heart, he pressed down just enough to break the skin. "You are now officially responsible for any action taken by any human against the Jendari. I hope you know how to keep a tight leash."

  Sliding off the bed Tallis secured his weapon and walked towards the door. "I'll be watching you."

  He closed the door quietly behind him and followed Deasun as they made for the stairs. Retracing their steps they collected Kasim and headed out into the darkness.

  As soon as they cleared the security wall they ran across the road and disappeared into the park. Two minutes later they were in an SUV and heading for the tower.

  "Do you think that warning will be enough to keep Jasmine safe?" Deasun asked.

  "I hope so." It had to work. Tallis didn't have anything else up his sleeve.

  "We'll find a way to keep an eye on your human, just in case," Kasim said. "We'll watch out for her."

  Tallis rubbed his forehead, trying to ease the building pressure. "Thanks, Kasim." He'd have to trust his brothers to keep an eye on Jaz, because Badria knew he couldn't trust himself to do it. It was hard enough staying away from her as it was.

  ****

  The next day Tallis couldn't get out of bed. It could have been a manifestation of the "sickness" Itohan scented on him, but Tallis feared it was a side-effect of using the stimulant. Deciding to give himself twenty-four hours to decide, he called in sick and went back to sleep.

  He woke to Deasun shaking his arm. "Tallis. Tallis!"

  "What?" His eyes wouldn't quite open. "What's going on?"

  "You missed your shift at the tower."

  "No." He turned over, pulling himself from Deasun's grip. "I called in."

  "That was yesterday."

  That couldn't be right. He couldn't have slept for forty-eight hours. Although, now he was awake enough to get signals from his body, his bladder was protesting. "Bathroom."

  Tallis scooted to the edge of the bed, swung his feet out, and somehow found himself collapsed on the floor. His arms and legs wouldn't work, and his body felt too heavy to move.

  "Tallis. Fuck."

  A moment later Tallis felt himself being rolled onto his back, Deasun's strong hands holding him tight.

  "I think I'm in trouble, my friend." Tallis’s tongue felt too big for his mouth and his words came out slightly slurred.

  "No shit. You look like crap and you've lost muscle tone. Have you been eating?"

  "Food's not the problem." It was his heart that was suffering, and no amount of food could fix that.

  "Wait there."

  Deasun pulled a blanket over him and then disappeared. Tallis must have drifted off again, only to stir when Deasun picked him up off the floor. "I'm taking you to New Havilah. The healers are waiting for us."

  Good. That was good. With a bit of luck they'd be able to scrub Jaz from his senses and Tallis could go back to having a normal life. At this point he was willing to do anything to make the pain go away.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Ordinarily, Tallis loved visiting the settlement. New Havilah was situated in the center of twenty-five square miles of Jendari territory. Once part of a national park, the land was now a no-fly, no-trespass zone, and every acre came under clan law. Which meant that any human stupid enough to breach the borders would be dealt with using Jendari justice.

  The village proper spilled gently from the foothills down to a large lake—deep, cold and blue. The homes were spacious, ecologically sound, and blended seamlessly into the landscape. It was quiet and peaceful. In the unlikely event that human spyware breached the security barriers, the only thing they would see is clansfolk simply going about their business.

  But today he wasn't in any shape to appreciate the marvels of the clans' new home.

  Tallis had managed to stay upright through the transit from his penthouse to the settlement, though he had to lean heavily on Deasun to stay on his feet. They shuffled from the external transit hub and along a corridor that was too narrow to fit them both side by side. Finally they stumbled into a room that accessed the internal transits around New Havilah.

  The short walk had robbed Tallis of breath and he was covered in sweat. Deasun had to sing them to the infirmary and once they arrived Tallis only managed two clumsy steps before his legs gave out. Without a word, Deasun scooped him up and carried him down the windowless, pristine hallway.

  Tallis could feel his consciousness slipping, even though he fought to stay lucid. The healers would have questions for him, and he needed to stay awake to provide answers.

  Unfortunately his body had other ideas. Deasun laid him on a bed and the moment Tallis's body went horizontal he lost the battle. The darkness swallowed him up so quickly he didn't get the chance to tell the healers anything.

  ****

  He slept, and when he awoke his room was bathed in early morning light. A large window gave him a view of branches and leaves, back-dropped by a cloudless blue sky. Like all buildings in New Havilah the infirmary was constructed to harmonize with the landscape. The Jendari built around the natural elements, not through them. Upper-level stories were constructed off-center, or with odd angles and slants to accommodate tree branches. Walkways were as likely to be above ground as ground level, and the tree canopy was as busy as any of the dirt paths.

  However, there was no activity outside Tallis's window. The infirmary was set apart from the village proper and he’d been placed in a room at the rear of the building. He closed his eyes for a moment, just to rest a bit.

  The next time he woke it was dark. His square, bare-walled room was softly lit by a mooncrystal. The crystals, abundant on their home world, were a rare and precious commodity here on Earth. The crystals absorbed light through the day, and at night they gave off a consistent, smooth radiance. They could light a room as bright as day or as softly as candlelight, depending on the qualities of the individual crystal. All mooncrystals were carved by master artisans, and the one on Tallis's side table depicted a me'hendra curled up in the fork of a tree. The image made him wonder about Itohan, but before his thoughts travelled any further, sleep took him again.

  And so it went. A series of wakeful fragments woven between bouts of dark nothingness. Sometimes he woke to healers in his room, other times he was alone. Light, dark, morning, afternoon—time jumbled together until he lost track of it entirely.

  In his moments of lucidity the medics asked endless questions, took samples, and had whispered conversations. When he explained he couldn't phase, those conversations lapsed into concerned silence. And the harder he tried to reach his cat, the further away he seemed.

  ****

  At one point he woke with a heavy body pressed against his side. Tallis couldn't manage to open his eyes, but he turned so he could spoon against Itohan's solid warmth. I'm glad you're here.

  You sleeping when I come before.

  I've been sleeping a lot. Too much. And nobody seemed to know how to fix it.

  You need your mate.

  No. She's not my mate. And Tallis couldn't afford to need her. If he did, she would become the most important thing in his world. More important than duty or honor, more important than the vows he'd made to the Goddess. In claiming her he would turn his back on his very identity. And he would be no different than the rhe'hashan who had left his father's cadre four men short, right before the battle that killed them. She's not my mate.

  Idiot Tallis. Your thoughts say no, but your heart says yes. Itohan wriggled closer and dropped his big head on Tallis's chest. Listen to your cat. He much smarter. He wants his mate.

  Too bad. I don't want Jaz anywhere near m
e. Because she was too tempting, because he wanted her too badly, and because having her would leave him without a scrap of honor.

  Tallis could feel sleep tugging at him again. The healers will fix me. Don't worry.

  Your skin makes you stupid. Stay in your fur.

  I can't. I haven't been able to phase since I got sick.

  Itohan didn't reply but Tallis could feel the disbelieving shock echo down their link. The me'hendra let out a low growl and pressed even closer. And that action alone underlined just how much danger Tallis was in.

  ****

  After a week Tallis started to turn the corner, at least according to the healers. He stayed awake for longer periods and, when he did sleep, he awoke with his sense of time and place intact. The medical staff barraged him with questions, they took endless blood and tissue samples, and they plied him with droughts, poultices, and nutrient-rich broths.

  The following day he had his first two-legged visitor. Fresh from a nap, Tallis opened his eyes to see Hadar occupying the only guest chair.

  "Hello." His voice came out rusty and he sounded tired even to his own ears.

  Hadar shifted into a more upright position, his purple eyes scanning over Tallis. "So, you're finally awake."

  Tallis shrugged. "For now. I seem to be incapable of staying that way for more than a few hours at a time."

  "Which is better than not staying awake at all." Easing out of the chair, Hadar moved to sit on the side of the bed. "You scared the hell out of us."

  "Sorry. Have the healers come to any conclusions yet?"

  "Nope. You've stumped them all."

  That wasn't good. Only the best healers were sent on the seed ships, and the plant nurseries had every species of flora native to Jendar—including all the medicinals. The healers also brought what tech they could, but here at the ass end of the galaxy there was no way to access other worlds or additional resources. If the Jendari healers couldn't help him, he was pretty much fucked.

  "Are they talking to you?" Tallis asked. "They won't tell me anything."

  Hadar shrugged. "That's because they don't know much. It seems your cat is the problem. The medicine they're using is working on the Jendari half of you, but the tigaren isn't responding to any treatment. One half of you starts to get better, then the other half drags you back under."

  "Okay." That was bad. Very, very bad. The two halves of a rhe'hashan came together to make a whole. One simply could not survive without the other.

  "And on that note, Deasun has a theory."

  Tallis winced. "Badria save me. If Dea's spouting theories things must be dire."

  "He thinks you're in love with the human. He thinks your heart is hers even if you're will is still your own. And while the Jendari part of you might be split down the middle, he believes your cat is completely committed to her."

  Slumping back onto his pillow, Tallis closed his eyes in a futile attempt to make this whole conversation go away. Hadar, patient bastard that he was, simply waited him out. Reluctantly Tallis opened his eyes. "Itohan said basically the same thing. He insists on calling Jaz my mate, and he keeps telling me to listen to the cat not the man."

  Hadar frowned. "Even if your cat has claimed her, being separated from her shouldn't make you ill. I mean, if you were bonded it might be different, but making love to her is a long way from a formal binding."

  "Exactly." That's what Tallis had been telling Itohan every time the damned me'hendra brought it up.

  "And the bonding ritual is complex. There has to be a public declaration and a mixing of blood—"

  At the mention of blood Tallis was swamped with a terrible sense of dread. "Oh, sweet Mother."

  "What?" Hadar grabbed Tallis's shoulders and shook him. "What?"

  "There may have been a blood exchange." Not deliberate, and not ritualized, but still…

  "May have? How can you not know for certain?"

  Tallis took a shaky breath and looked into Hadar’s purple eyes. "When I was shot I pulled Jaz to the ground and her hands got cut up. Then she put her hands on my neck to apply pressure to the wound. And then she—oh fuck, the challys powder." No, no, no. Tallis started shaking his head as if the motion could shake out the revelations in his head.

  "What about it?" Hadar's fingers tightened. "What are you talking about?"

  Tallis fought for calm and tried to order his thoughts before he spoke. "If Jaz was bleeding when she put her hands on me, our blood would have mixed. And if her hands were scratched up, the challys powder should have burned her enough to hurt her."

  "But it didn't?"

  "No. She was distressed about my injury, but she didn't seem to be in pain. And we both know how much the challys powder hurts on an open wound." Fuck, this was very bad.

  Hadar released his hold and sat back. "Your tigaren must have taken her pain into himself."

  Tallis squeezed his eyes shut for a second, willing it not to be so. But the logic of it couldn't be wished away. "It's the only thing that makes sense. I was in no position to do anything but cling to consciousness. I didn't feel him syphoning off her pain because I had enough of my own to contend with." And then, later the next day, Tallis had used his magic to heal Jaz of his own volition. Strengthening the bond and compounding his problems. He didn't mention that cosmic lack of foresight to his friend.

  "There's one way to test the theory—" Hadar began.

  "No." Tallis cut him off before he finished the sentence. "I don't want Jaz anywhere near me. It was hard enough separating myself from her last time, I don't think I could do it again."

  Hadar gave Tallis a long considering look. "If you care for her so deeply, why do you fight so hard to stay away?"

  "Because our worlds can't coexist and because being with me puts her in danger." Which was true, but that wasn't the deeper reason Tallis was running. And by the look on Hadar's face, the ursaine bastard knew it.

  "If she was truly your mate she'd automatically be considered clan, so you could coexist." He tilted his head, staring as if he could see into Tallis's soul. "And if Jasmine was yours, she'd have every rhe'hashan in New Havilah standing ready to protect her."

  Tallis shook his head. "She'd have to give up everything to be with me, and I won't ask her to do that." He knew how much the human cubs meant to her, and he would never take that away from her. But the other truth, the one he wouldn't share with Hadar, was what Tallis would have to give up. As much as he loved Jaz, as much as he wanted to be with her, he would not—could not—be an oath breaker just to have her.

  ****

  Tallis enjoyed a day and a half of lucidity before he slipped back into decline. Once again his days and nights were sprinkled with short bursts of wakefulness overtaken by long bouts of deep sleep. The healers had taken to giving him stimulants twice a day so he could eat and bathe, but that was a short term and rather desperate solution. He was losing weight and muscle-tone, and his coordination was fuzzy.

  He was at the end of his third week at the infirmary when Deasun came to see him. Tallis had just shuffled out of the shower and he was leaning against the door to catch his breath when his best friend hurried over to support him.

  "By the Goddess, you look like carrion." Deasun pulled Tallis's arm over his shoulder and headed towards the bed.

  "I feel like it, too." Tallis didn't protest when Dea scooped him up and lifted him into bed. Nor did he comment when his best friend settled and smoothed the bedclothes over his body.

  "I've been trying to see you for weeks. They won't let you have visitors."

  Tallis didn't lift his head off the pillow, but he did pry his eyes open. "Are you here unofficially then?"

  "If by unofficially you mean I snuck in through the window, then yes." Deasun parked his ass on the bed. "You have to let me bring Jaz to you. The healers have run out of options and it's the one thing we haven't tried."

  "No." Tallis didn't have the strength to shake his head. "Keep her out of this."

  "Tallis, she is this. The
whole reason you're sick is because you're bound to her."

  Tallis grunted in disgust. "You've been talking to Itohan."

  "Indirectly, yes. Itohan's been talking to Piala," Deasun said, mentioning his own me'hendra. "And she's been talking to me. They both think you're obstinately clinging to a lie. That your determination to ignore your tigaren's needs is going to kill you." Dea picked up Tallis's limp hand and held it gently in his own. "I agree with them. I've seen you with Jaz, I can feel how much you love her. What I don't understand is why you are so willing to hurt her and yourself by denying your heart."

  Tallis looked down at their joined hands—Deasun's strong and capable, his weak and withered. "I cannot believe that my illness is caused by a heartsick feline. It's too ridiculous. There must be something else."

  "Maybe there is. At least if we bring Jaz to you, we can rule it out one way or another."

  "No. Absolutely not."

  Deasun released his hand, moving to grip Tallis tightly by the jaw. Leaning forward he closed the gap until their breaths mingled. "You are going to kill yourself out of sheer stupidity. You are going to waste away and die because of a promise you made to yourself as a grief-stricken twelve-year-old."

  Dea's copper-colored eyes were hot with angry frustration. "Yes, your father died in an ambush. Yes, they were four short because members of the cadre had family in the area." His grip tightened and Tallis winced. "Maybe those four would have made a difference, but maybe they would have died, too. Only the Goddess knows. What you fail to understand, what you blindly ignore, is that leaving to check on nearby family was a common occurrence. What you refuse to acknowledge is that your father did the same thing when his cadre patrolled near your village."

  Deasun gentled his grip and slid his hand down to cup Tallis's neck. "We take a vow to put the clans first, and our families are part of that promise. We owe them the same loyalty we owe any Jendari, but we owe them more love. Family makes us strong, not weak. Family is the fabric that holds the clans together."

  Tallis heard the truth in what Deasun was saying, and he hurt with the need to believe the words. He just didn't know if he could. Eyes burning, he closed his lids and let the hot tears slide down the side of his face.