Tempting Flame (The Jendari Book 1)

by DJ Michaels

  He felt Deasun lean forward until their foreheads were touching. "Your father wouldn't have wanted you to die over a belief that has no merit, and neither do I. Please let me bring Jaz to you, Tallis. I can't bear to lose another brother."

  "Let me think about it. I'm too muddled and tired to decide right now."

  "All right." Deasun kissed him on the forehead and eased off the bed. "Tell Itohan what you decide and then he can contact Piala."

  Tallis tried to answer, but he'd expended more energy than the stimulants provided. Between one breath and the next he was dragged back to sleep.

  And there he stayed for longer than was safe for him or his cat.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jaz stared up at the ceiling in her bedroom and tried to gather the energy to get out of bed. Almost a month had gone by since she'd last seen Tallis, and every day she woke hoping and praying this would be the day she turned the corner. But the pain got worse, not better.

  She'd never had a lot of time for people who wallowed in their own misery. She had empathy, of course, and she felt bad for people who were having a rough time of things. But wallowing? Not so much. Everyone had crap going on in their lives, and sometimes that crap was harder to deal with than others. But at some point you just had to get on with things.

  Her kids had taught her that. As awful as it was to lose your job, or a pet, or to have a fender-bender in your uninsured car—it paled in comparison to a child fighting for his or her life.

  And going to pieces over a break up? Puh-lease. Get out into the real world and get some perspective.

  Jaz rolled over in bed and peered at the clock on her bedside table. Twelve fifteen—p.m.

  "Oh god." She couldn't believe she was still in bed at this hour. Nor did she like the fact she had no desire to get out and face the world.

  She hated whiners. She never understood the desire to marinate in sullen misery. Yet here she was, doing exactly that.

  None of it made sense to her. She hadn't known Tallis that long, and while she cared about him deeply, they weren't dating. Granted, two nights of mind blowing sex and an emotionally charged rescue had the potential to distort anyone's emotions. But Tallis had been very clear about the transient nature of their relationship, and she'd been very clear about taking that on board. She understood his reasoning and she agreed with him in practical terms.

  It was just a shame her heart hadn't received the memo. The trouble was she hurt—way down deep with an ache that simply refused to go away.

  So this was her new routine. Go to work, spend eight or nine hours a day pretending everything was fine and then go home to collapse on the couch. On the weekends she slept in until lunchtime. Last Sunday she hadn't managed to get out of bed at all.

  It was pitiful really, but so far she hadn't been able to shake the dragging lethargy that clung to her. She hated herself, she hated her situation, and a part of her hated Tallis for making her feel this way. No doubt he was going about his business, living his life just as happily as he had before he met her. Realistically, she knew she was nothing more than a blip on his radar. A woman who left his life as quickly as she came into it.

  And that should be true for her, too. She should have been able to accept her time with Tallis as a short, magical interlude that had no longevity in her real life. Pulling the covers over her head, Jaz curled into her pillow and wished for a pill that would make her forget Tallis in all his glory.

  Whoever said "it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" was a complete idiot.

  ****

  She had no idea what time it was when there was a soft knock at her bedroom door. Jaz debated on whether or not to answer, but she couldn't seem to make a decision. She knew she should get out of bed—if only she wasn't so tired.

  The choice was taken from her when her best friend opened the door and crept into the room. Winter looked like a beautiful gypsy, her thick dark hair falling free about her shoulders, her brown eyes soft with concern.

  "Are you sick?" Winter's slender form was clad in her standard sleepwear of tank-top and panties.

  "You're back." Pleasure at seeing her best friend put an automatic smile on Jaz's face.

  "Yes, I got the first flight out this morning." She came closer, laying the back of her hand on Jaz's forehead. "Are you sick?"

  "No."

  "Then why are you in bed in the middle of the day?"

  Jaz rolled onto her back and pulled the covers over her head. "Because I'm pitiful. Just leave me be."

  "So, you're not sick."

  Jaz stayed under the covers and shook her head.

  "Not hung over? Not suffering the fallout from a night on the town?"

  "No." The denial was muffled and sullen.

  "Then what?"

  Jaz could feel the squeeze of tears clogging her throat. "I think my heart is broken."

  "Oh, honey." The bed dipped and Winter pulled the covers down to expose Jaz's face. "How long have you been like this?"

  Two fat tears slid down Jaz's cheeks. "Weeks."

  Leaning forward, Winter smoothed her hand over Jaz's hair. "Well, fuck that, sister. How about you get up and shower, and once you've had something to eat we'll talk. Broken heart or not, you can't spend the rest of your life in bed."

  Jaz knew that, she just didn't know when the desire to keep going was planning to kick in. Then Winter solved the immediate problem by yanking the covers off the bed and grabbing Jaz by the wrist. "Come on, get that gorgeous ass out of bed."

  Winter was the poster child for stubborn. Jaz knew her best friend wouldn't quit until they were both showered, dressed and fed. And after four weeks of solitude Jaz was lonely enough, and heartsick enough, to need a strong shoulder. She knew she couldn't keep going like this and she had no idea how to turn the corner. Hopefully Winter would have a better take on the situation.

  Fifteen minutes later Jaz came out of her bedroom, showered and dressed in clean pajamas. Winter had freshened up as well, her long dark hair in a messy bun and her lithe form showcased in a long-sleeved shirt and yoga pants. She sat on the couch in front of the coffee table which currently sported a plate of sandwiches, a couple of sodas, and two paper napkins.

  Winter arched an eyebrow at Jaz's choice of attire, but didn't comment on it. "We're having lunch, then we're going to talk."

  "Fine." Jaz flopped onto the couch and reached for a sandwich. In complete silence she chewed, swallowed, and sipped until her plate and soda can were empty. Winter scooped up the debris and took it into the tiny kitchen before coming back to resume her position on the couch.

  "Now. What the fuck's going on?"

  "I'll tell you, on two conditions." Jaz had done a lot of thinking while she ate. As much as she wanted—and needed—to confide in Winter, she also had to protect Tallis. "First condition is absolute confidentiality. I trust you without question, but what I'm about to tell you effects someone else as well. The possible repercussions are huge."

  Winter's brown eyes widened. "I'm intrigued." She took Jaz's hand and leaned forward so they were eye to eye. "I swear whatever you tell me now stays between the two of us."

  "Okay." Jaz took a breath. "The second condition is that you don't interrupt me until I'm done."

  "Oh, come on." Winter wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You know that will never work."

  "It better. It's going to be hard enough getting through this story without you peppering me with questions." And Winter would. Her curiosity and intellect were two of the things that made her such a fine investigative journalist.

  Crossing her arms over her chest, Winter leaned back into the couch. "Fine. Story first, questions after."

  So Jaz started talking. She described her first meeting with Tallis and the powerful and immediate effect he had on her. She talked about the meet and greet with the kids and how awesome Tallis was with them. When she got to the part where Tallis was shot, she downplayed the injury and kept silent about his ability to phase. Bes
t friend or not, that was a secret Jaz wouldn't share. Nor did she mention Itohan or the me'hendra.

  But she did talk about spending those days and nights with Tallis. How he made her feel, both emotionally and physically. How magical it was to be cherished, to be respected and desired. And how painful it was to be separated from him. When she was done the silence lasted longer than Jaz expected.

  Finally Winter spoke. "You're in love with him?"

  "Yes. And I think he loves me as well."

  "And you're just letting each other go?"

  Jaz shrugged. "What choice do we have? I can't live in his world and he can't live in mine. And it's dangerous for us to be together in ways I hadn't anticipated."

  "Dangerous how? Did he hurt you?"

  "No, of course not." Jaz took a breath and prepared herself for a Winter explosion. "I was kidnapped by the Humans for Earth Coalition."

  "You fucking what!" Winter jumped to her feet, hands fisted by her sides. "When did this happen? And why the hell am I only hearing about it now?"

  "Because you were on assignment. And because in order to understand the kidnapping, you'd have to know about Tallis and…" She trailed off, waving a vague hand in the air.

  "Bastards." Winter gave her a shrewd look. "They took you to draw him out, yes?"

  "Yes."

  "So they believe you have a connection." Resuming her seat, Winter carried that thought to its logical conclusion. "And I'm betting he came for you." Jaz nodded. "Thereby confirming the HEC's theories. So what's stopping them for coming for you again?"

  "Tallis told me he'd make sure I was safe."

  "And you believe him?"

  "Yes." Jaz pulled a cushion into her lap, hugging it tight. "He's an alien, Winter. He has access to advanced technology, and he has capabilities that are way beyond anything human. When he tells me he'll take care of things, I believe him."

  "That's quite a leap of faith, my friend."

  Jaz shrugged. "It doesn't feel like a leap. It feels … right."

  "So, you love each other but can't be together, yet he's still protecting you."

  "Yes." And that was so wonderful it only added to her misery. Winter echoed her thoughts.

  "Well, that's romantic and fucked up all at once." Winter leaned over and laced their fingers together. "You are the most decent, loving, generous woman I know. I've never met anyone more deserving of happiness than you." Scooting closer she pulled Jaz into her arms. "I'm so sorry you're not going to get your happy ending."

  Jaz crawled closer, her throat growing tight as she wrapped her arms around Winter's slender waist. "I'm sorry, too."

  And that's when the tears came. Jaz sobbed her heart out while her best friend stroked her back and passed tissue after tissue. Eventually the emotional storm slowed and the sobs gave way to sniffles. Emotionally exhausted, Jaz eventually fell asleep on the couch.

  When she woke several hours later she got up and washed her face. Then she and Winter settled in front of the TV for a movie marathon. Jaz wasn't up for a rom-com, so they trawled through the offerings until they had a pile of horror and action flicks. They raided the pantry for comfort food and spent the rest of the day and the evening huddled on the couch under a couple of hand-knitted throws.

  When Jaz crawled into bed in the wee hours, she actually felt like there might be light at the end of her tunnel. Still a long way away perhaps, but the idea of it gave her a spark of hope.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jaz's optimism didn't survive daylight. The next day she felt tired and lethargic, as though she was in a perpetual state of listlessness. She called in sick, and once again it was afternoon before she rose. At least she managed to dress and change locations from her bed to the couch today. Winter had sent a text, so Jaz answered that to stop her friend leaving work to come and check on her.

  The TV was on, but she had no idea what she was watching, it was nothing more than movement and color. A bit of background noise to alleviate the crushing silence.

  When her phone rang she checked the caller ID, expecting it to be Winter. But when Tallis's name lit up the screen she split into equal parts of happiness and fear. Hands shaking, she picked up the phone and pressed "accept".

  "Hello?"

  "Is this Jasmine?"

  "Yes." Her heart sank. That wasn't Tallis's voice.

  "My name is Deasun J'mala and I'm a friend of Tallis's. You may not remember me, but I was there the night we rescued you."

  Her stomach dropped and a prickle of dread raced down her spine. She remembered Deasun and she knew he wouldn't be calling her on Tallis's phone unless something was wrong.

  "Is Tallis okay?"

  There was a heavy sigh and a long pause on the other end of the line. "Not really."

  "What's wrong with him? Is there something I can do to help?" Because as sad and confused as she was right now, she would never turn her back on Tallis if he needed her.

  "I can't go into details over the phone. Hold on a second." Jaz could hear a muffled conversation, then Deasun came back on the line. "Can you come to Tallis's apartment?"

  "Now?"

  "Yes. Just text me when you get here and I'll send the penthouse elevator down for you."

  "Um, okay." Jaz got off the couch and made her way to her bedroom. "Text me the address and I'll be there as soon as I can."

  "Thanks, Jasmine."

  The phone beeped to signal the end of the call.

  While the phone was in her hand Jaz sent a short text to Winter, letting her know what was happening without giving any details. Then Jaz stripped, showered, and dressed in record time. And all the while she wondered, and worried, about what she might find when she got to the penthouse. Tallis must be in pretty bad shape if he couldn't use the phone to call her himself. But if he was that bad, he didn't need her, he needed a doctor.

  Maybe he'd asked Deasun to call because he was afraid she'd say no. She'd barely finished the thought before she shook her head. Tallis was a lot of things, but an emotional coward wasn't one of them.

  A hundred scenarios bounced around in her head as she hailed a cab and sat impatiently in the back seat through the cross-town traffic. Every red light chaffed, every bottleneck had her squirming in agitation. Her heart beat too fast and her somersaulty stomach was making her queasy.

  By the time she rode up in the elevator Deasun had sent down for her, she was breathing hard and her whole body broke out in a hot sweat of anxiety.

  She stepped out onto the top floor and she'd barely taken two steps before the door opened. The Jendari at the door had mid-brown bed hair and extraordinary copper-colored eyes.

  "Deasun?"

  "Jasmine, thank you for coming." Stepping back he ushered her through the door.

  Another Jendari stood in the middle of the room. She recognized the Viking god from the night of her rescue, but she couldn't remember his name.

  Fortunately, Deasun saved her from any awkwardness. "Jasmine, you remember Kasim don't you?"

  "Yes, of course." She nodded in his direction. "Hello, Kasim."

  "Thank you for coming so quickly." Kasim gestured to the plump sofa. "Please."

  As she sat, her full peasant skirt billowed around her feet. Nervously she smoothed it over her legs. "What's going on?"

  "Truthfully, we're not sure." Kasim moved to sit on the coffee table so he could face her, and Deasun sat on the other end of the couch. Leaning forward, Kasim rested his elbows on his knees. "Tallis is sick. He's been slowly declining for weeks and our healers haven't been able to discover what's wrong. The rhe'hashan side of him responds well to treatment, but his tigaren continues to ail—and one cannot be well without the other. Our healers have tried remedies both conventional and obscure, but nothing has a lasting effect."

  Jaz could feel the blood rushing out of her head and she put her hand to her temple to hold off the dizziness. "Then why am I here? I'm not a doctor."

  "I have a theory," Deasun said. "Which nobody would listen to until now
." He gave Kasim a heated glare. "I know Tallis cares for you, more deeply than he will admit. And he told me his cat adores you." Deasun edged closer and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Our animal half is more instinctive and less emotionally complicated. I think the feline half of Tallis has bonded to you, and the separation is making him ill."

  Jaz frowned. "You mean he's pining for me?"

  "In a way, yes."

  "We're really worried about him," Kasim said. "I'm not sure I agree with Deasun, but I'm willing to try anything to bring Tallis back."

  Kasim's eyes were a pale, icy blue. He fixed his gaze on Jaz, allowing her to see just how concerned he was.

  She blew out a nervous breath. "What do I do?"

  Deasun gave her hand another squeeze. "If I'm right, the cat is touch starved. The best thing you can do is get skin to skin with Tallis, no matter what form he's in." Then he frowned. "Whether he likes it or not."

  "You think he'll object?"

  "It's possible." Deasun didn't quite meet her eyes. "Tallis didn't want us to call you. He didn't want to drag you back into our world."

  That hurt enough that Jaz couldn't quite hide her wince.

  "Don't let him bully you," Deasun said. "This is for his own good."

  Jaz nodded. This might be for Tallis's own good—or not—but she knew for damn sure it wasn't going to do her any favors. She ached for him as badly now as she had the day she walked out his door. The idea of getting skin to skin with him was both wonderful and terrifying.

  Kasim sat back and looked at her as if there was no doubt she'd meet their expectations. "I understand this must be difficult for you, but we're still going to ask. Will you try to help him?"

  "Of course." What else could she say? How could she live with any other answer?

  "Good. We don't have much time."

  "We don't?" Just how sick was Tallis?

  Deasun cleared his throat. "As I said, my theory didn't get much traction. Kasim and I took Tallis from the infirmary without permission. The false trails we've put in place will only buy us so much time."