Time Will Tell

by M. Ullrich

  Chapter Three

  Casey favored Saturday mornings because she was able to wake up slowly beside Eva, and Casey’s mother always made blueberry pancakes. Eva loved her mother’s blueberry pancakes. Casey loved seeing Eva lost in a moment of bliss. Every Saturday started with Casey sitting in wonderment as she watched Eva throughout the morning. She’d watch as Eva ate eagerly, as she cleaned up the dishes, and as she stretched out saying she’d eaten too much. Eva was such a beautiful, innocent being, it pained Casey to think of anyone hurting her, yet so many people did.

  “Casey?” Eva said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you okay? You’ve barely touched your pancakes.”

  “I’m fine. Just slow to get up, I guess.”

  “Well, you better wake up and start eating before I take your pancakes.” Eva started to inch her fork toward Casey’s plate.

  “I’ll always share my pancakes with you,” Casey said flirtatiously and started to laugh when Eva blushed slightly. “What do you want to do today?”

  “I have to do laundry,” she said while pushing around an errant blueberry.

  “Are you sure you can’t just borrow from me?”

  “I’m not girly enough to pull that off.”

  “Fine.” Casey sighed. She was reluctant to let Eva go back to her house for anything. “Just run in, grab your clothes, and bring them back here to wash.”

  Eva thought about the offer for a moment. “Are you sure? Will your mom be okay with that?”

  “Are you kidding?” Casey laughed. “She’ll probably do it for you. Besides, it’ll work out better, because then we can hang out for the rest of the day.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure.”

  “I’m positive.” Casey reached out for Eva’s free hand.

  She couldn’t recall the exact moment she had started being so affectionate with Eva, but she did remember how Eva had flinched at first. And then slowly, Eva began to warm up to her. Casey hadn’t been able to keep her hands to herself since.

  “I’ll run over there now, then,” Eva said as she stuffed the last triangle of pancake into her mouth. “The earlier the better. Luke will probably still be sleeping.”

  “Let’s hurry, then.” She gathered up their dishes, placed them into the sink, and started to push Eva toward the door.

  “I’ll do those when I get back.”

  Casey smiled warmly. “I know you will.”

  The sun felt wonderful on Casey’s skin when they stepped outside. It was a hot morning for May, which usually meant New Jersey was in for a record-setting summer. She inhaled deeply, not caring about high pollen counts. The chartreuse powder made Casey’s eyes puffy and she sneezed repeatedly, but springtime air only came around once a year.

  “You didn’t have to walk with me,” Eva said.

  “It’s incentive to hurry. You’re not rude enough to leave your best friend waiting.”

  “True.” Eva laughed.

  They walked very slowly, stretching the hundred feet to feel like five hundred. The silence was comfortable, but Casey needed to say something that had been on her mind since the night before. “I’m sorry about last night.”

  “The movie wasn’t that bad.”

  “Not about that.” Casey took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for bringing up you maybe liking girls and making you uncomfortable.”

  Eva kept walking. She didn’t look at Casey. Just as Casey was about to apologize again, Eva stopped in front of her house.

  “You didn’t,” she whispered. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

  “What do you mean?” She didn’t want to push, but she needed to take advantage of this moment.

  “I know why they say those things about me in school. Look at me.” She motioned to her loose cargo shorts and plain black T-shirt. “I fit all the stereotypes, but besides that, I’ve always felt different. I’m just not sure if it’s that kind of different.”

  Casey squinted as she looked at her friend, backlit by the bright sun. She’d wanted to have this conversation for a long time, but never planned what to say if or when it happened. “I’ve thought—”

  “Like you and Jason. I’ve never had that, and I think about the reasons why.”

  “Jason is not a good example.” Casey rolled her eyes. Her next question came out without much thought. “Have you ever kissed a girl? Or guy?”

  “Once. My last year at summer camp. His name was Charlie. He was a cute kid with these big brown eyes. We were sitting under a tree one afternoon and he just planted one on me.” Eva laughed and Casey was drawn into her smile.

  “And how was it? How did Charlie make you feel?”

  “I didn’t feel much besides being slobbered on. I made sure not to give Charlie another chance to kiss me, which he misinterpreted as little Eva playing hard to get.”

  “Why, Miss Caldwell, you little tease,” Casey drawled. She poked Eva in the stomach, her fingertip hitting nothing but hard muscle. “Have you ever kissed a girl?”

  “God, no.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because…” Eva looked down the road and then to her house, keeping her eyes anywhere but on Casey. Casey found her embarrassment adorable. “It’s scary, Casey. Everything it could mean—would mean if it felt different than when Charlie—”

  Casey kissed Eva before she could finish.

  Her head swam at the sensation. She didn’t move, not even a millimeter. She resisted the temptation to explore a little more, and reminded herself this was for Eva, not her own pleasure. But it wouldn’t be the worst thing if Eva enjoyed it, too. She stepped back.

  Eva’s forehead was creased and her cheeks rosy. She looked shocked and frozen in place and absolutely beautiful.

  “Now you have something to compare Charlie’s kiss to.” Casey smiled and shrugged nonchalantly, but no response came from Eva. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.” Eva’s voice squeaked. “Yeah, I’m fine, okay.” She cleared her throat and turned away from Casey, mumbling something about dirty clothes not washing themselves.

  Casey watched Eva jog up her front walkway. She kept everything she felt for her best friend on the back burner. Her sole focus was keeping Eva safe. If her feelings blew up in her face, she might lose her best friend, but Eva would lose her only safe space. So for now, she’d love her from a distance.

  * * *

  One hundred and fifty steps, Eva reminded herself. That’s all it’ll take to get in and get out. She pushed open her front door and went directly toward the stairs. She ran up and dumped her overflowing hamper into the large duffel bag she had. Eva didn’t care if she mixed her darks and lights. All she cared about was making it back to Casey within four minutes. Then she’d be free to think about why her best friend had just kissed her in broad daylight.

  Casey’s lips. Eva tightened her grip on the bag at the thought. Kissing Casey had felt like fire and Christmas and driving over a hill too fast. She shook her head and told herself Casey was just trying to help her, and if she knew Eva had enjoyed—no, loved their short kiss, she might never want to help her best friend again. Eva shrugged the duffel onto her shoulder resolutely. She wouldn’t mention the kiss again unless Casey brought it up first.

  She descended the stairs as quickly as she had gone up them, but when she reached the bottom, she was shocked to see Luke standing in front of the door, blocking her escape. The sun didn’t brighten the home very much, but enough light came through the dirty curtains to illuminate his snarl. He took a long drag from a cigarette and blew the smoke in her direction.

  “Why don’t you ever invite your girlfriend in?” he said, peering through the narrow window beside the door. The sunlight coming in highlighted the gray hairs in his unkempt beard. “She seems lovely.”

  “I just grabbed a few things and I’m heading back out.” She tried to get to the door, but Luke wouldn’t budge. The longer she was in the house, the higher the risk of Casey coming in, and Eva couldn’t allow that. “I have to go.”<
br />
  “You two should spend time over here. I wouldn’t mind you having company, especially someone so sweet.”

  “Don’t talk about her like that.” Eva’s warning sounded strangled. Bile and anger rose in her throat.

  Luke sneered. “Then you shouldn’t rub your relationship in my face.” He placed his palm in the center of Eva’s chest and pushed her against the wall. She pushed against him but couldn’t match his strength. “Hold still, or I’ll make you hold still.” He brought his lit cigarette to her forearm and pressed it into the skin. “You don’t realize how easily I can break you, how I can end you in one quick trip.”

  Eva bit back a scream. “Stop it,” she said between clenched teeth. When Eva tried to move again, Luke pinned her with his forearm across her chest, near her throat. She couldn’t take more than a shallow breath.

  “I could go back and make sure you were never even born.” He raked his hand down her body. “I control it all. You should treat me like a god.” The last thing Eva saw before she clamped her eyes shut was the saliva gathered at the corners of Luke’s mouth and the shift of his free hand in his pocket. Eva turned her head as far away as it’d go.

  She focused on long car rides with Casey, the windows down and their favorite music blaring. She imagined the warmth of the sun on her skin when they’d go to the beach. She could almost smell the coconut of Casey’s sunscreen. Eva lost herself in the memory of building a snowman with Casey when she was thirteen. Her toes had been numb for over an hour because the shoes she had weren’t meant for inclement weather, and Casey’s parents bought her snow boots the very next day.

  Luke grunted and fell back from her rigid body. She picked up her duffel and ran out the front door. She’d never forget the echo of his laughter.

  Eva rushed past Casey and led the way back to the McClellans’ home. She didn’t look back, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to face her best friend for a while. Casey would know something was wrong. She’d ask Eva what had happened, and Eva never wanted to say the words aloud.

  One hundred and fifty steps was all it took for her life to get worse.

  Chapter Four

  Casey had no idea what had happened to Eva, and Eva refused to answer any questions that afternoon. She saw the burn on Eva’s arm and cried about it that night when Eva wasn’t looking. That day was one of many where Casey considered calling the police, but if they took Eva away and put her into foster care, she wasn’t guaranteed to end up in a safer home. At least Casey knew she was being cared for now and protected to the best of her ability. So Casey dedicated the next week to taking Eva’s mind off it. And she couldn’t think of a better distraction than prom dress shopping.

  “I have never seen these many sequins in my life,” Eva said in wonderment.

  “You look terrified.” Casey ran her fingers along one of the many ornate dresses hanging from a rack. “We’re here for me. Unless you want to try something…” She looked over her shoulder to Eva, who was shaking her head vehemently. Casey laughed and said, “Relax, Eva.”

  They walked through row after row of racks, looking at every color of the rainbow and more materials than Casey even knew existed. Eva was a good sport, taking her time at each rack to see what the boutique had to offer. “Do you want something that screams ‘I’m going to prom’ or something simple?”

  “I guess either or would be fine, just nothing too puffy.” Casey pushed at an over-filled dress. “I want to be able to move and pee without needing assistance.”

  “Ooh, what about this one?” Eva held up a strapless navy blue dress. Casey liked the cut of the dress, its fitted bodice and long skirt, but she shook her head.

  “Why not?”

  “I want to stay away from strapless.” Casey grabbed her breasts and added, “These need to be secured at all times. I heard a horror story about someone’s tit popping out during the last dance last year. That will not be me.”

  Eva was blushing. “Straps. Got it.” She put the dress down and moved ont o the next rack.

  Casey giggled at Eva’s bashfulness. She moved about the small store, smiling at the associate that had greeted them when they arrived. Her eyes fell to a baby blue tea-length gown. The dress was simple in cut and free of too many over-the-top details. She lifted the hanger and turned to Eva.

  “What about this one?” Casey said. Eva took her time looking the dress over. Casey was hyperaware of Eva’s evaluation.

  Eva tilted her head. “It’s not bad, but blue doesn’t do your eyes justice.”

  “No?”

  “No. They’re gorgeous. Pick something that’ll make them pop.” Eva walked away, turning her attention back to the many options surrounding them. Casey was frozen in place, trying her best to fight off the butterfly assault in her stomach. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” Casey jumped. “Just overwhelmed. So, uh.” Casey cleared her throat. “What do you think? Green or black?”

  “Green would be nice, but you know how I feel about black.” Eva had a playful glint in her eye. Yes, her black shirt and matching pants gave that away. “Check these out.” Eva lifted a dress in each hand, one black and the other emerald.

  Casey looked between them thoughtfully, tapping her index finger at her pursed lips. Her head fell back and she whined. “This is so hard.”

  “Relax,” Eva said, placing the gowns back on the racks. “You could make anything look great. But I did see this hideous thing by the entrance I’d like you to try on. If you’re up for it.” Eva winked. The damn butterflies were back.

  “Are you proposing a prom dress challenge?” Casey smirked, thinning out her full lips.

  “Maybe.”

  “What’re the stakes?”

  Eva walked away for a moment before returning with a floor length, puffy, bubblegum pink gown. Judging by Eva’s labored breath and straining arm muscles, the gown was heavy. “If you can make this monstrosity look good, you can name your prize.”

  “Anything I want?” Casey licked her lips.

  “Anything.”

  Casey’s eyes held Eva’s in challenge. She held the stare until Eva visibly swallowed. “If I can pull that off,” she said, pointing to the large gown, “you have to try this on.” Casey lifted a considerably smaller dress. The strapless dress was covered in red sequins and would fall mid-thigh on a tall girl like Eva.

  “I can’t wear that.”

  “Already know you’re going to lose?”

  “No,” Eva scoffed. “This thing is atrocious.” She flicked at a puffy shoulder to punctuate her point.

  “We’ll see,” Casey said as she walked toward the dressing room. She wasn’t prepared for the task of getting into the gown. By the time she got the garment above her waist, a light sheen of sweat had broken out across her forehead.

  “Did it eat you alive?” Eva’s muffled voice came through the thin curtain partition.

  “Just you wait.” She pulled the long sleeves up her arms and struggled to secure the zipper at the back. She had to admit, even in spite of the emerald bow above her butt, the dress made her look like a cartoon princess. She mussed her thick blond hair just enough to freshen its style. “Ready?”

  “Oh, I’m ready.” Casey could hear Eva’s giggles. When Casey stepped out from behind the curtain, Eva’s smile fell. “Dammit.”

  “What was that?” Casey did her best strut back and forth in front of Eva.

  Eva sighed in defeat. “You look beautiful. I don’t know how, but you do.”

  Casey felt her stomach flutter again. She fought past the blush and the way her knees weakened slightly. If she acknowledged the compliments, she was afraid Eva would stop them altogether. Instead, Casey squared her puffy shoulders and plastered on a cocky smile. “Not as beautiful as you are about to look,” she said.

  The look of fear in Eva’s wide eyes was absolutely hilarious. “It’s getting late.”

  “Don’t even try it.” Casey picked up the red dress from the hanger beside the dressing room. “Time
for me to collect my prize.”

  Eva was in the small dressing room for over fifteen minutes. Casey continued shopping, but after the minutes continued to tick by, Casey worried Eva had climbed out a window.

  “Eva?”

  “I’m not coming out.”

  “Then I’m coming in,” Casey said, pushing past the curtain. “I was ready to send a rescue—” Casey’s remark died in her throat at the sight of Eva’s legs. Her long, long legs. She swallowed hard. Casey had never seen Eva like this before, and she knew she might never again.

  Casey took her time appraising Eva, and even Eva’s nervous shuffling did little to diminish the beauty of her body in the dress Casey had picked. Eva stood barefoot, her legs bare up to mid-thigh, and even though Casey had seen her with much less clothing on, the feminine dress accented Eva’s slight curves enticingly. Casey folded her arms over her chest. It was all she could do to keep from reaching out to touch Eva. She wanted to feel the difference between the rough fabric and her best friend’s silky skin.

  “I look ridiculous.”

  “What?” Casey heard Eva’s voice, but her concentration was fixed on where the tight bodice made her small, perky breasts perkier.

  “Hey.” Eva snapped her fingers, causing Casey to look up. “I look like a fool.”

  Casey forced her blush back down. “No, you don’t. You look gorgeous.” She cleared her throat roughly. “You even made me a little speechless.” Casey laughed off her mild discomfort. Feeling awkward was one thing, but she didn’t need to feel turned on. Not while she stood in a small square of a room with her greatest temptation and weakness.

  “Are you girls planning on buying something, or are you just here to play dress-up?” The shop attendant broke the moment.

  “Buying,” Casey squeaked. “I think I found something, so come out when you’re ready. Come out of the dressing room.” She flinched at her unnecessary correction. Casey started to leave but Eva gripped her gently around the wrist.