Time Will Tell

by M. Ullrich

  “New York turned you into a smooth talker.” Casey giggled.

  Eva felt herself flush and fall into the familiar groove of flirting with her best friend. “You ain’t seen nothing yet. I haven’t been up there since I got back. I’m afraid of what I’ll see, what I’ll remember,” she confessed.

  Casey stepped up to her, stood within inches before lifting her hand to Eva’s face. Eva waited for her touch, but Casey pulled away instead. “We’ll tackle it together, and it’ll be done before you know it.”

  Eva looked down into Casey’s sure and steady gaze and felt her courage build. “Let’s go.”

  However, her courage fell away the moment she stood at the base of the stairs, and Casey all but dragged her up each step by the hand. She trembled as she stared at the closed door to her old bedroom.

  “Do you want me to open it?” Casey said. “I could even clean it out myself if you’d like.”

  “No, I’ll do it.” Eva set her shoulders. “I have to do it. Reclaim my power and whatnot.” She pressed her palm onto the firm surface of the door and held the cold doorknob. Eva looked back to draw courage from Casey’s large, sparkling eyes.

  “Eva?”

  “Yeah?”

  “The door’s open.”

  Eva was so lost in Casey, she had opened the door unknowingly. She stumbled into the room awkwardly, but grateful for a moment of distraction from green eyes and full lips. Eva could fall back into Casey so quickly and easily, which worried her.

  She looked around and wasn’t surprised to see the room looking just like the rest of the house—untouched, uncleaned, and uncared for. Every memento from Eva’s years in the house was still in place, dresser drawers were left open, and the bedsheets rumpled like she had awoken from them that morning. The room was like a museum, an exhibit of an abandoned life.

  “It’s exactly how I left it.”

  “Luke probably had no reason to come in here.”

  “Not with me gone.”

  Eva flinched when Casey touched her arm gently. “Let’s get this over with.”

  They sorted through dusty clothing and souvenirs from a time in Eva’s life that should’ve been carefree but never was. Eva watched Casey strip her old bed and flip the twin-sized mattress, too struck with horrid recollection to touch it herself. But Casey took care of it, much like she had always taken care of Eva.

  Eva focused on clearing a small bookcase of textbooks she’d never returned and notebooks full of homework assignments and scribbled handwriting. Eva’d had a hoarding habit when it came to old schoolwork, though it didn’t seem it at the time. On the floor beside the bookcase was her abandoned bowler hat. She picked it up and ran her fingertips along its felt crown.

  “Plan on bringing that style back?”

  Eva laughed. “I don’t think this style was ever in. This was my dad’s.”

  “I always wondered where it came from, but I never really thought to ask.”

  “It was the only thing of theirs I was able to grab when Luke dragged me through the house that night. I came to live here with a garbage bag of clothes and this.” She placed her hat to the side, needing to change the subject.

  “What’s your life like now?” she asked Casey. “Who are your friends, where do you live? Are you seeing anybody?” She winced at her own lack of subtlety. The curiosity to know more about the person Casey had grown into had outweighed her manners.

  “I have one good friend. Her name is Lizzy, and she’s my roommate back at school. We share an apartment not too far from the campus.” Casey tossed magazines into a bag of recyclables. “I was seeing someone for two years, but that ended last June. Haven’t met anyone worthwhile since.”

  “I never met anyone worthwhile,” Eva said more to herself than to Casey.

  “What about Maxim?”

  “He’s a good man to know, a close friend with…a little more to it. All of my intimate relationships have been casual. I haven’t been a saint,” she said, pausing when the words felt a little too complicated to spit out.

  Casey watched her with critical eyes before changing the subject. “I always wondered what your room looked like.”

  Eva tried to see the space through Casey’s eyes: colorless walls and a singular small window that never seemed to fall fully in the sun’s path. “Nothing compared to yours,” she said.

  Casey pointed to the swirling origami above them. “Mine didn’t have all of those.”

  “I tried to save every one we made together, but after a while I knew my ceiling wasn’t big enough.” They laughed and watched the shapes dance above them.

  “I remember that day on the bus when you watched me fold up a little hopping frog,” Casey said to the ceiling before facing Eva. She grinned, and Eva felt her stomach drop. “You looked at me like I was a magician.”

  “You were to me.” Eva grabbed a dust rag and twisted it. “You did the impossible—turning a boring piece of paper into a living creature, and you made me feel normal.” Casey either didn’t hear Eva or chose to ignore her as she walked to the window and stared out into the bright afternoon. Eva stood beside her, but she paid no attention to the outside world. She studied Casey’s eyes, their mossy depths glittering with gold speckles.

  “Every time you came back here, every night you didn’t stay with me, I worried what would happen to you,” Casey said. Sunlight danced like a prism in her gathering tears. “You never told me what he did to you, but I had my suspicions, and you’d still come back here.”

  “I wasn’t your burden,” Eva said. “I didn’t want to be your burden, or your parent’s either.”

  “I tried to protect you, and I couldn’t.”

  “No, Casey, stop.” Eva grabbed Casey’s hands and forced her to face her. “Don’t ever blame yourself for what happened to me. You were everything I needed—” Eva stopped. She wanted to clam up and shut down her feelings, but her years in New York had taught her confidence. “You were my sanity.”

  Casey swallowed hard and squeezed Eva’s hands before she stepped out of her grasp. “Does that still work?” she said, motioning to a small stereo in the corner of Eva’s room.

  “Probably.” Eva watched Casey rush over and start pressing buttons. “I have no idea what CD I left in there.” An invigorating bass line erupted from the speakers. In an instant, Eva remembered exactly what CD she had left in her small stereo. “I Gotta Feeling” had played on the radio hundreds of times as they drove around.

  “This is our song!” Casey shrieked in delight while her body already moved in time.

  “I listened to it a lot when I needed to escape.” Eva clung to the upbeat tempo and positive message, which she always associated with Casey because every night with her was a good night.

  “Dance with me.” Casey beckoned Eva with a bend of her index finger, and Eva absolutely could not deny her. She stepped up to Casey and followed along. Eva’s movements were nowhere near as fluid and polished as Casey’s, but they were sure and in-time.

  Eva marveled at how one song could bring back so many memories. She could even smell the interior of Casey’s car as they drove around aimlessly and listened to their song on loop. She stared into Casey’s golden hair, recalling the sunlight streaming through it on lazy afternoons. Eva watched Casey’s swaying hips and remembered the many times she’d have to be careful where her hands fell during sleepovers and innocent embraces. One song, and she felt seventeen again.

  Casey spun around and came face-to-face with Eva. She had no idea how closely she was dancing until then, Casey’s breasts brushing against her and their lips within inches. They were both slightly out of breath and looking into one another’s eyes. Eva didn’t mean to be so close. She didn’t want to cause Casey a moment of discomfort.

  Eva started to step back. “Casey, I’m—”

  Casey wrapped her petite hands around Eva’s neck and pulled her close. Casey’s skin was warm, and she smelled of coffee and blueberries and didn’t say a word. Casey stared blan
kly at Eva’s mouth.

  “Casey?” Her green eyes flicked up but fell back on Eva’s lips. Eva’s heart beat harder and faster with each passing second.

  “You were going to run again,” Casey said, her features paling slightly. “The last time you were this close, you ran and didn’t come back. You almost did it again. I thought you were going to kiss me, but you ran away from me instead.”

  Eva’s heart thudded. She closed her eyes. “I was afraid to kiss you.”

  “Why?”

  “Why not?” When Eva opened her eyes, Casey’s cheeks were reborn with color, and her radiant eyes were smiling. “You were Miss Popular, the most beautiful girl in school, and the only friend I had.” Eva took a deep breath and placed her restless hands on Casey’s waist. “You were perfection and I was—”

  “Oblivious,” Casey said. “You spent so much time telling yourself I was too good for you, you missed everything else.”

  “Like?”

  “I believed you were magic. I believed you were perfection. You missed how badly I wanted you to kiss me that night.”

  “You did?”

  Casey nodded. “On the Ferris wheel and at my front door,” she said, bringing her fingertips to Eva’s lips. Eva’s breath turned shaky at Casey’s delicate touch.

  Eva finally had everything she wanted at the fair and everything she had dreamt of every night since. Casey’s expectant pout turned her lips from sweet to sinful, and she waited for Eva to make the next move. She hesitated for a moment because the timing could be better, but she wasn’t about to turn away from Casey again. As she leaned forward, she realized this would be the first good memory made in this home, and Casey was the star of it. Just like always.

  “I’m going to kiss you now,” Eva said, her confidence flaring as she gripped Casey’s hips tighter.

  Eva bent her head forward and grazed Casey’s nose with hers. She let the spark of excitement she felt at the slight touch travel her body before she moved again. She was close enough to count each bold and faded freckle along the bridge of Casey’s small nose. Eva was captivated by the way Casey’s long lashes trembled slightly. Eva knew Casey was struggling to keep her eyes closed. The anticipation was most likely killing her, but Eva wasn’t about to rush this moment. She wanted every detail to be drawn out, just like in her dreams.

  Eva cradled Casey’s jaw with her right hand and tilted her face gently, bringing Casey’s mouth within a whisper of her own. She traced the underside of Casey’s chin where the skin was unbelievably soft.

  Casey’s small sigh turned into quiet words. “Please,” she said. “You’ve made me wait six years, don’t make me wait any longer.”

  Powerless to Casey’s demands, Eva gave in. She kissed Casey’s upper lip first with a barely-there meeting of their mouths before kissing her lower more firmly. She savored the pillow-like softness of Casey’s lips like remembering a long-forgotten treasure. Casey balled up the hem of Eva’s tank top. Eva smirked as she pulled back from the tentative kiss. She knew Casey was trying to hold back, to let her set the pace. Eva pulled Casey’s hands away and returned them to their place around her neck. She pressed her body more firmly into Casey’s and kissed her again. She found the bare skin of Casey’s lower back while she sought Casey’s tongue between parted lips. Eva moaned unrestrained at her first taste of Casey.

  Casey sank her fingertips into Eva’s thick, dark hair, which fell around her face, curtaining off their kiss from the outside world. In the semi-darkness of their solitude, Eva wondered if Casey forgave her.

  She tried to drown her apprehension by focusing on the smooth glide of Casey’s tongue against hers and the sharp, pleasurable tug on her hair when Casey wanted her closer. Eva’s senses were on overload from the scent and feel of Casey in her arms. Casey’s soft breasts were calling for Eva’s touch, but louder still was the worry of never being forgiven. Eva pulled back.

  “Casey…we need to talk.”

  “Oh,” Casey said, stepping back and running her fingers through her hair. “Okay, what is it? You decided you’re not staying?”

  “No.” Eva watched Casey continue to retreat. “Casey, no. If staying here means this could work,” she said, motioning between them, “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “You mean it?”

  “Yes, of course I do.”

  Casey’s eyes softened, but her body remained rigid. “Then what is it?”

  Eva bit her lip. “Before anything happens between us, I need to know more.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I didn’t expect this. Obviously, I didn’t expect my uncle to die and for me to be in charge of everything, but I didn’t expect to see you and still feel so…seventeen.”

  “It feels like no time has passed, but there’s a huge chunk missing.”

  Eva nodded because Casey had hit the nail on the head.

  “I feel the same way, Eva. I can’t explain it and I’m not sure if I want to try,” Casey said with a laugh. “The past six years have been really hard, so I don’t see the harm in enjoying our time now and handling each day as it comes.”

  “Can you forgive me?” Eva said. “Because every time I look at you, I have a hard time forgiving myself.”

  “I forgive you, but I’m still a little mad at you. I think that’ll go away the more I see you and know you’re permanent again.” Casey stepped up to Eva. “I didn’t expect this either,” she said, stroking Eva’s cheek. “To still be so crazy about you.”

  “You were crazy about me?” Eva said with a goofy smile.

  “Shut up and go shower,” Casey said and pushed at Eva. “You’re dusty.”

  “So are you.” Eva pulled a clump of gray debris from Casey’s hair. “But somehow you make it look good.” Eva leaned in for another kiss, only to be pushed away again.

  “I’m running home to clean up and change,” Casey said. “You do the same, and we’ll meet back here in twenty minutes.”

  “Deal.”

  They walked downstairs together, Eva gripping Casey’s hand the whole way. She wouldn’t let Casey out the door until she kissed her again and added enough passion to ensure Casey’s speedy return.

  “You’re such a good kisser,” Casey said, licking her lips. Her eyes were hooded and her smile lazy. Eva’s knees were ready to give out at the sight.

  “I already knew you were, thanks to the short preview you gave me years ago.”

  “Imagine what else I’m capable of,” Casey said with a wink. “I’ll be right back.”

  Eva was frozen in place after Casey left. She was overwhelmed by happiness and the tantalizing pull in her lower abdomen. Her body was on fire, and her heart beat more freely than it ever had. Hesitantly, she tamped down her intense feelings for Casey. One day at a time. And as of right now, today was a good day that held the promise of only getting better.

  Chapter Eleven

  More than twenty minutes passed, but when Casey strode through Eva’s front door like she lived there, Eva couldn’t care less about being left to wait. Sweatpants and a black tank top never looked better, especially when Casey had decided to forgo a bra. Eva’s mouth went dry as she took her time looking Casey up and down. Womanhood had been very, very kind to Casey. The models in New York were beautiful, but their sharp edges had never captivated Eva the way the feminine fullness of Casey’s thighs did.

  “I was right,” Casey said.

  “Right about what?” Eva threw a large sheet over the sofa, wanting a comfortable and clean place for them to sit.

  “When we were in high school, I’d catch this look on your face, and it’d be gone in an instant. I thought it was the same look guys would give me in the hallway, but I couldn’t be sure.” Casey helped tuck the edges of the sheet into the cushions while Eva waited for more of an explanation. “You had the same look right now. You were checking me out.”

  Eva’s first instinct was to deny it, but she no longer needed to. She could finally be open and honest. “I could never help
myself.” Their eyes met, and Eva hoped her sincerity was clear across the seven-foot piece of furniture. “You’re so beautiful.”

  Casey blushed and said, “Even at the ripe old age of twenty-four?”

  “You’ll be beautiful to me at eighty-four and beyond.” Finally losing the battle with her self-control, Eva walked up to Casey and pulled her against her body. “This is real, right?” She buried her face into the crook of Casey’s neck and kissed every inch of skin her lips could reach. “I’m having a hard time believing I’m allowed to do this.”

  Casey giggled and pulled back. She framed Eva’s face with her hands, the chill of her fingers only heightening the sensitivity of Eva’s skin. “As crazy as it seems, this is real.” She kissed Eva tenderly, but before Eva had the chance to deepen it, Casey pulled away. “You were too distracted when I first got here to notice, but I brought this,” she said, holding up a book bag. “I have some homework I need to finish, and I have to head back to school tomorrow. I’d rather work on it and be in your company than have to leave you any earlier. Is that okay?”

  Eva smiled. “It’ll be just like old times—you caring about schoolwork and me struggling not to distract you. The only difference is now I can distract you the way I always wanted to.” Eva puckered up but only received a chaste kiss in return.

  “Work now, play later.”

  “Spend the night?” Eva said with hopeful eyes and a wicked smile. She took Casey’s hand and placed it over her heart while bringing her lips within an inch of Casey’s. She whispered, “Please stay with me tonight.” Casey’s breath quickened against her lips.

  Casey moved her hand from Eva’s chest down to her stomach, where it stopped. Casey traced the outline of Eva’s abs over her worn T-shirt. “You’re softer but still really toned. And you smell really good.”

  “It’s a combination of my perfume and body wash,” Eva said, playing along as she relished Casey’s display of weakening. Knowing she affected Casey so strongly made Eva’s insides tighten pleasantly, as if their foreplay had already begun.