Avoiding Commitment

by craziebabe45

  Lexi stared wistfully out the backseat window across the changing terrain. The rolling hills had eased into a flat expanse anticipating the coming ocean front. She could almost smell the distinct scent of salt mingled in the air. Decrepit signs, interspersed amongst the neon bulbs flashing from the street side, caught her eyes only briefly before locking with the next tethered old business vying to compete with the beach environment only twenty minutes away. Palm trees had started springing up about forty-five minutes back, and Lexi's desire to be beach-side, sprawled out with the sand between her toes, had grown exponentially since then.

  "Babe, chill out. You're doing that thing with your hair again," Clark said snatching her hand from her face and clutching it tightly in his.

  Startled out of her focused gazing, her mouth popped open and she glanced into Clark's soothing green eyes. He had on a green intramural soccer shirt which only intensified the shade she had only ever seen on him. She quickly closed her mouth and smiled back into his charming face. "Sorry," Lexi said biting her bottom lip and suggestively raising her eyebrows at him feeling the all too familiar desire to kiss him creep through her.

  He traced the palm of her hand with his thumb and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "We'll be there soon. I know you're anxious."

  Lexi giggled looking at him coyly across her shoulder. "Oh yes, I'm very…anxious."

  He smiled warmly back at her, but was interrupted from responding by Seth. "None of that lovey-dovey shit back there. We're not even putting you two in the same room. The walls are too thin for all that," Seth said laughing as both their faces turned to pouts. Lexi's distinctly more-so.

  "Whatever Seth," Lexi said leaning forward across the center of the seat. She ignored Luke seated in the passenger seat ogling her cleavage bulging out of her tiny halter top, and ruffled Seth's hair. "You can't honestly expect us to stay off of each other."

  "I'm not expecting it. No. But you can do that shit during the day. There isn't enough space at night for you two to be in the same room." Lexi leaned forward farther giving Seth a decidedly better view of her rack. "And," he responded taking in the full view of her, "if you think that," he indicated towards her breasts, "is going to change anything, you're wrong." Despite his comment, she could tell his breathing was getting shallow. Men!

  Clark grabbed her waist in his hands fully and pulled her back towards him. He snaked an arm around her shoulders, and drawing her into him kissed her passionately. "I think we'll make up for it. Don't you?" he asked nibbling on her bottom lip.

  A small moan escaped her mouth, but she pulled back shortly afterwards. She didn't mind being flirtatious around their friends; however, she had to draw the line somewhere. Clark rarely liked where the line was drawn. She let her gaze shift back out the window as they reached the strip where Seth's parents' beach house was situated.

  Seth's parents were celebrating their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary by cruising for seven blissful days in the Mediterranean. He had taken the liberty of securing…eh stealing a key to their new house from his younger sister, and had instantly invited as many of his closest friends to join him for the conveniently planned week before graduation. Many had turned down the invitation since it did fall so close to graduation, but eight had eventually agreed and were now situated in two cars driving towards their vacation destination.

  Lexi had initially been anxious about the arrangements. Several people in attendance had lived with Jack at one point in time, and all of the people going knew him. But when Clark had excitedly invited her for his pre-graduation vacation, she hadn't been able to tell him why she felt unsure about going on a free week long trip to the beach when her summer job hadn't started.

  Clark. She sighed happily just thinking about him. She had met him through Jack originally. He hadn't known all the details of what had gone on between them at the time, but he'd learned enough to put the pieces together. When Clark had inadvertently stumbled across Lexi at the mall, he hadn't been able to stop himself from asking her out even knowing about her and Jack. He unintentionally confessed that he'd always thought she was way too good for Jack, and surprisingly enough, not even close to Jack's type. Lexi had frozen up at the offer. She wasn't sure if she really wanted to say yes. Clark was a friend of Jack's. Awkward. And even worse, he knew at least some of what they had gone through. Even more awkward. After what had happened with Jack while she had dated Spencer, she blushed even thinking about how horrible it would be if she found herself in a similar situation.

  Clark hadn't been offended by her lack of exuberance, but stayed persistent promising her a nice casual evening out. Lexi had never really thought about Clark in a romantic sense. She had always been clouded by her blind desire for Jack. Even as she accepted his polite invitation, she hadn't realized quite how handsome he was.

  Their first date was nothing out of the ordinary. He had taken her to a nice dinner, not too expensive, but still nice. Afterwards, he surprised her by taking her to a local ice cream shop for dessert. She couldn't remember the last time she had had that much fun. Clark was easy going yet attentive to her. He seemed to genuinely care what she was talking about, and what she was interested in. Something about him that night remained permanently etched into her memory. Clark just got her. They just clicked. It was strange even then for Lexi to feel like Clark understood something about her that perhaps, even she didn't.

  But she couldn't help seeing Jack in him that night. They had some similarities, but for the most part they were nothing alike. But when she looked at Clark, she could remember another time when things had been this easy with Jack. Feeling uncomfortable at the prospect of being physical with Clark after having those improper thoughts, she left him with only a simple good night kiss. After that night, Lexi couldn't deny that she liked Clark.

  He kept calling and eventually, without even realizing it, they were a couple.

  A few rather uncomfortable situations had occurred, in which, she was forced into civil environments with Jack. She usually extracted herself as quickly as possible making whatever excuse came to mind. Recently, it had happened less frequently, and it really made things easier between her and Clark.

  Lexi's mind had instinctually turned to Jack when Clark had invited her on this trip. She hadn't even meant to ask about him. But somehow it had slipped out, and she had asked Clark the one pressing question she needed to base her decision on: Is Jack going to be there? She could handle hanging out with a bunch of people who knew that her and Jack had had…something at one point in time. But actually having him at the beach house for a whole week looking damn sexy would just kill her. She couldn't do it.

  Clark had been disappointed. She had been able to hear it in his voice over the phone. They had been dating for nearly nine months, and she still had to ask about Jack. Sighing uncomfortably, he had told her that he wasn't positive but last he had heard from Seth, Jack would be out of town for his cousin's graduation ceremony in Savannah which was a week ahead of their own. That was all the confirmation she needed, and she had happily agreed to accompany them to the beach. Her tan was waning anyway. Some hot rays would do her good.

  Lexi popped open the door to the Lexus SUV as soon as Seth placed it in parked and gingerly stretched out her aching muscles. She breathed in the cool beach air and sighed pleasantly. Her head swiveled up to the massive beach house Seth's parents called home. The entire place looked modern and chic from the outside. She couldn't wait to see how the interior matched. But what she was really curious about was the beach. All she really wanted was to sink her feet into the pure white sand and stare out across the Gulf of Mexico.

  Clark came around from the other side of the car and kissed her cheek. Taking one last look at her, he said, "Go on." He nudged her towards the side door that opened up to a pathway leading directly to the beach. "I'll grab your bag."

  Without a backwards glance, she rushed the gate. Yanking it open, she dashed down the stone stairs, and around the corner. Her breath caught at the si
ght of the ocean looming ahead of her. Chucking her flip-flops to the side just as she reached the threshold, she edged into the sand feeling the heated temperatures against her skin. Then she took off with a burst of energy loving the overpowering feeling of release at the thought of being here, in this beautiful place, for an entire week.

  Just before she reached the sand soaked through from the salty water, she stopped dead in her tracks and stared dumbfounded in front of her. Maybe she was dreaming. Had she fallen asleep while she was in the car? Would she remember that she had been in the car if she was dreaming? Would he be here if she was dreaming? She didn't really have to answer that question. He had always been in her dreams, but the real question was whether or not she was dreaming about him right now. Suddenly terrified, she wondered if Clark would hear her say his name. Then realizing she couldn't be dreaming or else she wouldn't be thinking about this, she would be doing…other things. Her mouth opened as he suddenly turned towards her.

  Had she said his name out loud? She didn't remember.

  "Lex?" he asked obviously just as startled as she was. "What…? How…? I…uh…"

  "Are you real?" she blurted without thinking.

  A characteristic smirk appeared on his face, and she knew. He was real. Even her dreams didn't make him look that gorgeous. Every feature was vividly defined in the afternoon rays pouring over his body, and into his intensely blue orbs.

  He took a step forward clearing the gap she had left between them. It had been a safe distance. Now, he was so close their bodies were nearly touching. Her breath caught as she raised her head to meet his intense stare. God, he looked amazing. Her foggy image of his perfect features faded so quickly when he was out of sight. Everything felt right as she stood in his presence only inches separating them. He reached out placing one hand on her cheek, checking to see if she was in fact real. Lexi's heart raced at the gentle touch, her mind returning to a brilliant clarity.

  Jack was here.

  They both seemed to be in a trance as their looks never wavered. She felt his thumb stroke her cheek lovingly, but she couldn't break away from him. She couldn't remember the last time he had touched her…on purpose. Then, the image of her lying naked on his bed filled her mind, and she blushed deeply. He seemed highly amused by this and stepped closer to her. They both sank an inch or so into the sand as he shifted causing her to reach out and grab his chest to steady herself. His smirk returned when she didn't pull her hand away from his incredible build.

  This couldn't be happening to her. There was no way that Jack would be here. Everyone had confirmed that he was supposed to be in Savannah…far far away from the beach house. So she let her thoughts return to the possibility that she was dreaming. He was only a few inches from her succulent lips. It would be so easy to close the space. Though she had never envisioned being with Jack intimately on a beach before, she didn't put it past her imagination. And her imagination could be very ingenious when it wanted to be.

  Something was off about her dream though. At this point in the dream, Lexi was sure Jack would have practically read her thoughts, and would now be bending down to kiss her. That's how it normally happened. She blushed deeper hoping that her dream Jack would kiss her already. Then colored even further as the time progressed and he didn't.

  No, she had been right the first time.

  He was not a dream.

  "Jaaaaaack," Lexi heard someone yell impatiently from the direction of the house.

  Broken out of his spell, he quickly dropped his hand to his side and took a fraction of a step away from Lexi. Her heart thudded in her chest at the absence of his touch…his warmth. She suddenly felt very alone.

  "Jack! What are you doing? Who is that?" another whiny cry broke through the serene expanse.

  Jack glanced up to the house and did a slight almost dismissive wave, not even bothering to respond in turn. Lexi did not want to turn around. She had heard that Jack had a serious girlfriend, her stomach twisted uncomfortably at the prospect, but she had luckily never met her.

  "I guess I better get up there. Everyone's starting to stare," Jack said returning to her confused brown eyes.

  That broke her out of her dream-like state, and she twisted to find a beautiful blonde leaning over an enormous wooden deck. Slowly, taking in the entire sight, she picked out Clark openly glaring at the spectacle before him. She didn't think her cheeks could redden any deeper than at that moment. After everything Clark knew about her and Jack, this had to appear to be a very compromising situation.

  She turned back to Jack anger flaring up inside. "Why are you here?" she demanded. He sighed contentedly. He had always found her sexy when she got riled up. "Aren't you supposed to be at your cousin's graduation ceremony? Why aren't you in Savannah?"

  "It was a cousin on my dad's side. They are crazy redneck retards. And anyway, I really did not want to deal with boo-hoo your parents are divorced speeches for an entire week like they've been doing for the past three years," he stated calmly, fixing her with a pointed look. "And anyway, Seth and I grew up together. His parents moved here when his sister went to college last year, and they're practically family. Actually," he considered for a second, "they are more like family now."

  Lexi knew the details of his parents' divorce and cringed at the harsh words. He had spoken about his parents' divorce before, but generally steered clear of the subject. He hated the fact that they were separated, and just got pissed off when it was brought it up.

  "So why are you here?" he asked angrily.

  "What do you mean why am I here?"

  "You're fucking Clark. Right. I forgot," he said his voice ice cold.

  "Fuck you," she spat angrily.

  He nodded his head. "Right. Sorry, I like threesomes with two chicks, but if you're interested?" he asked raising his eyebrows evocatively.

  "Jaaaaaack," the girl yelled again, "are you coming back up?"

  "Well that's me. You should consider my offer," he added playfully. "Gotta go. It's good to see you Lex." He purposefully brushed her hand as he passed by.

  She was seething with anger. Clark had said he wouldn't be here. She couldn't even think straight. Why did he have to go shatter the image she had of him in her head? Why did he have to bring is girlfriend? She just wanted to scream with the pain of unanswered questions.

  "Oh hey Lex," Jack called after he had only made it about ten feet away from her. She counted to five letting her breathing calm, and turned around to meet him. She huffed out her breath trying not to let her eyes veer from his face to his beautiful body. "Nice shirt." He let his eyes travel to her chest, and then produced a wink just for her.

  She blushed again. What had she gotten herself into?

  As Jack plodded through the thick sand ahead of her, she felt eyes boring into her. She didn't want to look up and see the disappointment certain to be evident in Clark's face. No wonder she had demanded that Jack not be present if she planned on attending. She saw him for all of ten seconds, and completely lost control of herself. He sent a rollercoaster of emotions rocketing through her veins. One second she had been elated ready to jump into his awaiting arms. The next they had been bickering like an old married couple.

  She ran her hands through her brown curls, and let them fall haphazardly around her face. Nothing near perfection, but it would do in her frenzied state.

  God, she hated so much that he got to her. She really would have just given herself over to him right there on the beach. She groaned feeling stupid for her thoughtless actions.

  When she finally worked up the courage, she tilted her chin up to the hardwood deck, and found Clark all alone still staring at her intently. He motioned for her to come inside, and then without a word, turned and walked inside.

  Time seemed drag as she waited for an opportunity to speak to Clark about what had happened. Seth hadn't been joking about the room arrangements. As soon as she had returned from the beach, she had been stuffed in a room with one of Seth's bimbos. Lexi had completely
tuned her out, and instead, let her mind flood with concerns as she dutifully unpacked.

  As soon as Lexi was alone with Clark, she hissed, "What is he doing here?"

  "I don't know," Clark said staring icily back at her. "What does it even matter?"

  Lexi had no idea how to answer that question. How could she tell him that she couldn't control herself around him? That she purposefully avoided him because of the things he unconsciously did to her body. Those weren't things you could tell your boyfriend. "It just…does. You said he wouldn't be here."

  "I said that Seth didn't think he'd be here. I guess he just changed his mind. That's typical Jack." His green eyes seemed to see straight through her words. Clark had always been intuitive when it came to her. "Are you going to explain your actions on the beach?"

  Why did he have to ask such difficult questions? She'd never been able to explain her actions to herself. How did he expect her to explain her compulsion to him?

  "I don't know what you mean," she finally mumbled.

  His eyes narrowed. He didn't believe her. She could tell. "You're not going to tell me why it looked like you two were about to kiss?"

  Lexi's mouth popped open. "We were not! I can't believe you would even think that," she huffed, hating that he had hit so close to home. Why did he understand her so well? Nine months wasn't that long.

  "I thought you said things were over between you two."

  "They are," she grumbled miserably.

  "Then why can't you be around each other? Why did it look so much like you were…in love?" he asked struggling on the last words.

  She gulped heavily. "We just have history. You know that," she said avoiding his last question completely.

  She could tell he was thinking over how to address his concerns. He could see she was lying. After all, he had been watching them together as soon as he had heard Jack's girlfriend yell his name. Finally, he blew out his breathe heavily and pulled her into his arms. "Okay, baby, if you say so. Can we just have a good time? Forget that he's here." She didn't even need to say that that was easier said than done. "I trust you."