Avoiding Commitment

by craziebabe45

  Talk about feeling guilty.

  "If you say you two are done, then you're done. I've just known Jack for longer than you, and in a much different way than you've ever known him. We were pretty close at one point in time. I know how he treats women, and I know that it doesn't matter to him whether he has a girlfriend or not. So, if there's anything between you guys still, I'd just like the truth," he said pulling back to look into her guilty face.

  "There…there's nothing between us," she said hesitantly.

  He let loose another heavy sigh, and then nodded. "Come on. Everyone's getting ready to head out for dinner."

  Lexi really wished he hadn't said any of that. All she wanted was for Jack to leave. The week was going to be very long any other way. But she followed her boyfriend into the living room to meet the rest of the group for dinner.

  After assembling into their vehicles again, they drove towards a local Mexican restaurant that Seth had insisted had the best margaritas in the state. Just as importantly, they didn't check for identification. Since apparently all the girls Seth had brought along were under twenty-one, that was a pretty important factor for him. The dilapidated construction was recognizable solely by the faded green and red paint coating the walls and a rickety sign hanging half-off its hinges that read Desperados. It didn't look promising. Under different circumstances, Lexi never would have entered the place. The hole in the wall establishment only perquisite thus far rested in the waitress who greeted them at the entrance. She was tall and buxom with wavy brown hair to her waist and cherry red lipstick coating her full lips. A long skirt hung off her voluptuous hips and a white off the shoulder top revealed her other very full asset. Every guy in the place stopped to gawk at her as she greeted them with her thick foreign accent.

  Seth smirked and made a crude gesture to Hunter before charging forward and introducing himself. The waitress giggled at his obviously rude sexual remark and directed them towards a large corner booth. Lexi watched the woman roll her eyes as she turned to leave after seating them. Suppressing a giggle, she found herself shoved into the inside corner of the booth directly next to Jack's girlfriend. She cursed herself for not paying more attention to the seating arrangements.

  "So you're Lexi?" the girl asked turning her full attention to her.

  "Uh...yeah," Lexi said resting her head between her hands on the table.

  "That's pretty. I'm Kate. I don't think we had a chance to meet," she said cheerfully.

  Lexi heard a distinct chuckle emanating from the other side of Kate. She snapped her head to the side and openly glared at Jack. Obviously, Kate wasn't quite as perceptive as Clark was or else she probably wouldn't be as nice as she was right now. The woman came back with menus and took drink orders which mainly consisted of several pitchers of a mix of on the rocks and frozen margaritas. Lexi didn't intend to drink much though. Her tolerance was beyond low, and she needed to be fully aware of herself now that Jack was sticking around. Great…what a fun trip…

  "Jack, thanks for giving me a heads up about your arrival," Seth said acting perturbed.

  Jack shrugged effortlessly. Lexi tried not to stare at the light stubble on his chin and up his jawline that made him look older and more handsome when he spoke. "I couldn't stay away. You know that," he said cocking his head to the side and smiling suggestively at his friend.

  "Oh baby, baby, take me now," Seth cried passionately. He immediately cracked up laughing and smacked the table with his hand hard enough for the water glasses to shake. "Man, I've been meaning to tell you about this chick…" He wasn't afforded the luxury of finishing his sentence as Luke forcefully smacked the back of his head. "Ugh…" he croaked. "What the fuck was that for?"

  "There are five women at the table are you sure you want to finish that line of conversation?" Clark asked raising his eyebrows in warning.

  "Yeah man, I don't care who hears." He shifted his attention back to Jack. "So I was fucking this…" Another vicious slap came, but from his other side this time. "What. The. Fuck. Sandy!" he cried glaring at the leggy brunette seated next to him.

  "I can't believe you were going to…" she trailed off as she realized everyone was staring at her.

  "I wasn't going to tell them whether or not it was you." A small blush crept onto her cheeks, but she remained resolute. The other two girls at the table seemed to find this highly amusing. They were facing into each other and giggling. They then began whispering something that they obviously didn't care to share with the rest of the table. "Anyway," he began again massaging his head, "like I was saying, I was banging this girl from behind, and she did this amazing…"

  Lexi blanched at his next comment. She knew Seth was crude, but this was over the top even for him. She heard Kate whimper. When Lexi flashed her eyes towards the girl, she realized she was tugging on Jack's sleeve, begging him to make Seth stop.

  "Alright man," he said grabbing Kate by the upper thigh and pulling her into him. She giggled a little. Lexi felt like gagging. "How about you tell me what she did when we're not about to eat?"

  "Your loss man," Seth said running his hand down Sandy's back.

  The night proceeded smoothly after that point. Lexi managed to carry on an entire conversation with Jack's girlfriend who, as much as Lexi hated to admit it, seemed like a genuinely nice person. Jack remained civil, but they both avoided all means of communication. Sometimes when Lexi would say something that reminded him of something they had done in the past, he would catch her eye and grin devilishly. At those moments, she tried to keep the desirous glint out of her eyes, and reminded herself repeatedly that she was sitting with her boyfriend. Her very lovable, amazingly intuitive boyfriend…who would notice if she kept up the flirting signals Jack was conspicuously sending her way.

  At the end of the night, Seth boasted about getting the waitresses number all the while having each arm slung around another girl. Lexi wasn't all too sure how he did it. But she was pretty sure that the waitress, at least, had given him a wrong number.

  Since they had arrived so late in the afternoon, and the majority of them wanted to be awake as soon as possible to hit the beach, they all separated into their rooms to catch some zzz's before sunrise. Lexi just couldn't get comfortable in her room. The queen size bed she was sharing with Sandy, felt lumpy despite the how expensive she knew it was. She turned onto her back and felt a sharp elbow dig into her side. Lexi shot up in bed wondering if this girl was just feigning sleep. After experimentally pushing her body, she decided Sandy was actually asleep. Apparently, she was just a brutal sleeper. Not that Lexi could really sleep anyway. All she could think about was Jack.

  Besides his occasional chuckle and rather suggestive eye contact, he hadn't really done much else to entice her...whether good or bad. The sane part of her told her that that was a good thing. She should definitely consider that to be a good thing. But being this close to him and having him nearly completely ignore her...well it damn well irritated her.

  So what if he had an adorably, perky girlfriend that he'd been with for just under a year and a half? He'd still flirted with her when he'd been with Danielle, and they'd been together much longer than that. Hating herself for her thoughts, she kicked her feet over the bed and silently edged out of the room.

  The beach house was designed in such a way that when you entered from the front door a large set of stairs to the right led to the enormous lofted master bedroom suite. It took up the entire top floor, and Seth had happily claimed his parents' king-size bed as his own for the week. The front doorway opened to the hardwood floored living room with standard beach decorating, and a host of stylish wood furniture. Down a hallway to the left the guys were staying in the two standard offices one with a pullout couch and the other with a black futon. A set of stairs off of the living room led to the bottom floor where Seth's sister's bedroom and a separate guest bedroom were connected by an adjoining bathroom. A homey looking den opened to the massive deck Lexi had looked up at earlier during the day.

&
nbsp; Sneaking out of Seth's sister's bedroom, Lexi exited the house through the den and out into the cool night air. The wind caught her hair and whipped it around her face. She breathed in the salt enjoying every second. After grabbing a pink and yellow striped towel, she flew down the flight of stairs that opened to the sandy beach below.

  Falling back against the towel, Lexi stared up at the giant moon overhead. This was much more pleasant than getting elbowed to death in her sleep. She just wished that she could somehow get Jack out of her mind. It's not like her and Clark were currently in a rough patch. Things were going as well as they ever had. He had been a little moody as of late, but she just chocked that up to graduation approaching and the looming prospect of finding a job. Other than that though, it was just Jack that was bothering her. Things tended to go very very wrong when she was around him. The worst part was knowing that he got to her...and being completely helpless to prevent it. She had kept her distance since that time she had allowed herself to slip up. She couldn't take that back, but she could do everything in her power to prevent a repeat performance.

  But he was so gorgeous in person. Those baby blue eyes had turned crystal clear with desire at her approach on the beach, and she hadn't been able to stop herself. Just like every dream since she'd met him. The cool environment coupled with the slow rolling of the ocean eventually lulled her to sleep even as she was thinking these thoughts about Jack.

  A hand gently shook her awake and she jumped up from her slumber. She was immediately terrified that she had slept through the entire night out here on the beach. But after opening her eyes, she noticed it was still pitch black outside, and breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't want to be caught out here. Then she remembered that she had been woken up, and turned to see who had caught her out on the beach alone.

  "Hey," Jack said retrieving his hand from her shoulder. He smiled down on her brightly.

  Of course, it was him. If she ran back up to the house right now, would he be offended? Deciding against that course of action, she mumbled groggily, "Hi. What are you doing down here?" A long yawn escaped her.

  He grinned at her goofily. "I could ask you the same thing. Scoot over," he directed her, bending down and plopping down on the small beach towel. He leaned his elbows back into the sand and stretched his legs out facing the ocean.

  She tried to fix her gaze forward and avoid looking at him, but she couldn't. Just before she had been awoken, she had been having another…rather inappropriate dream about him. Apparently being within his presence had allowed him full access to her dreams again. "Couldn't sleep?" she asked just to make conversation even though the silence wasn't that bad either.

  "I saw you come down here," he told her.

  "I thought you were sleeping upstairs." She couldn't help but stare at his well-defined profile in the ambient light.

  He shook his head. "Nah, sleeping next to guys...not my style. I took the couch in the den."

  Her eyes raised in realization that when she had passed through the den door he must have been right there all along. "Oh. How long have I been out?"

  "About thirty minutes I guess before I decided to join you."

  "How did you know I didn't go for a walk?" she asked curiously.

  Finally, he turned his head towards her, and by the light of the moon, she got a full look at the beautiful face she had been dreaming about. His eyes traveled over her flimsy sleeping clothes, and then rose back to her intrigued face. Finally, he shrugged and answered, "I just knew."

  "You didn't come down at once and check on me?" she questioned him not understanding.

  "No. I waited to see if you were just going to come right back in, but I soon realized you weren't. So I came to find you. I just knew you'd be here Lex. I just know you," he said reaching out and cupping her cheek in his hand as he had done earlier that afternoon.

  At his touch her breath instantly quickened, and her lips parted. How did he do that? "I've missed you so much," he said his voice lowering intimately.

  "Jack," she whimpered as he trailed his hand down her neck, "you...you can't touch me like that."

  He pulled her by her neck towards his waiting lips. Just as they were only an inch apart, he broke her steady gaze and began to kiss down her supple neck. She moaned deep in her throat, and then ripped herself out of his enticing grasp.

  "I said no," she cried standing in a fit of anger. He remained seated and rested back on his elbows again not even looking back up at her. "Why are you here? What do you think you are doing? I don't want things to be like that again. My boyfriend...your girlfriend...our friends...everyone is up there right now and could see you doing this. Don't you care about anyone but yourself?"

  Ignoring her other questions, he coolly said, "Lexi just sit down."

  "No! I'm not going to just sit down. Why do you have to be so demanding all the damn time?" she cried her hands resting on her hips. She was glaring daggers at him.

  "If you don't stop using that voice with me, I'm going to take you right here on the beach," he told her evenly. "You're so much sexier when you're angry."

  Lexi immediately stopped her argument and openly gaped at him. Was he serious? Was he really going to try to calm her down by claiming she was in any way sexy by yelling at him? The whole concept just infuriated her further. "I told you to stop telling me what to do. I will do whatever the fuck I want. And I want to know why the hell you're here. You grab me in public and then completely ignore me. Then, just when I'm accepting that, you start kissing me?" she squealed. "What kind of game are you playing? What kind of..."

  She was cut off by him standing so swiftly it hardly registered on her radar. He snatched her up in his arms and tossed her gently back onto the towel. From his standing position, he immediately moved over her pushing his body flush against her. She gasped feeling every inch of his hard body just as his mouth crushed against her own.

  All thoughts left her at that point. She hadn't been aware how much she wanted him...how turned on she already was from being close to him. Her body was aching all over with him tight against her moving suggestively from her lips to neck to ear and demandingly back to her hungry lips. He was hardly giving her enough time to breathe as he let his tongue slide around in her mouth. She let her free hand, that wasn't twisting around at the nape of his neck, run down to his hips and pulled him closer to her.

  Groaning, he continued his assault on her lips. "I want you right now," he said his hands fumbling to reach down her cotton shorts.

  "Jack, no. No I can't," she whispered pushing him away.

  "Lex, goddamn it, you're killing me," he growled sitting up and straddling her.

  "Well, if you'd listened the first time, we wouldn't be in this situation," she said through her heavy panting.

  "If I'd listened?" he asked in disbelief. "I told you I'd take you right here if you didn't stop being so damn sexy. You are the one who didn't listen."

  She sat up and shoved him into the sand away from her. "Fine whatever, it's all my fault. It's always my fault! It has nothing to do with you being here when you're not supposed to be or you coming down to the beach to find me. It has absolutely nothing to do with you kissing me, for Christ's sake! Taking advantage of me, when you know I can't control myself around you," she spat.

  "You can't control yourself?" he whispered into the gusty night, his words almost lost in the wind.

  "Don't play with me Jack," her dark brown eyes were nearly black in fury at this point.

  "I'm…I'm not playing with you. What do you mean you can't control yourself? We've been in social situations for the past two or three years, and you've never given me more than one glimpse of your so called lack of control. I think you have perfect control. You hardly look at me. You definitely don't speak to me. God forbid, we have a normal conversation. So, yes Lexi, what the fuck are you talking about?"

  She'd never thought about it that way. She figured by avoiding him as much as possible that she'd in some way be able to regain the co
ntrol she lost when suckered into his enticing thrall. But it didn't work. All her efforts were futile, and even worse was she had avoided his wonderful presence and wasted a friendship…relationship for over two years.

  "I did those things because of my lack of control. When you touch me Jack, I completely succumb to you. I give into your ever whim."

  "But you don't. Can't you see that? If you did, we would have had sex two years ago," he vehemently told her.

  She let out the breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding. He was right. She might lose control, but she had the capability to gain it back. Something inside her told her that she didn't really want to regain the power he had over her, and that was why he had so often enraptured her every thought.

  He scooted closer to her in the sand, and grasped her hands in his own. "Because I've wanted to be with you every day since then."

  Words were lost on her. She'd wanted him too, but things were different. She was with Clark now. Spencer had been a short lived thing, but Clark…he was solid. He had everything she had ever wanted in a relationship. He was caring, attentive, understanding, loving…the list was endless.

  The only thing he wasn't…was Jack.

  Jack with all of his fiery passion and hopeless desire. Jack who had secured her a position on the gymnastics team even though she hadn't spoken to him. Jack who had always wanted her…since they had first met.

  "Lex, I know how you feel about me. I feel that way too. Just…just let me show you what I can be to you," he said playing with her fingers embedded in the sand.

  She sighed and gazed into his crystal clear blue eyes. He wanted her. He'd always wanted her. "What does that mean?"

  "We'll just do whatever feels natural."

  "You're talking about having an affair," she spoke softly.

  "No. It can be completely platonic," he said taking her hand and interlacing it with his own, "if that's what you want."

  What he was allowing her was a way in. A way to be with him…without being with him. The dream sounded amazing. It wasn't everything she wanted, but she couldn't deny it did have its perks. She could be with him again. She could talk to him and be friends with him. They could be around each other without the automatic hot and cold that came from their forced separation.