Finding Libbie

by Deanna Lynn Sletten

  Libbie cocked her head and gazed at Emily. “You have such beautiful blond hair,” she said wistfully. “My hair used to be that color, but it was too much trouble trying to keep it blond through the years.”

  “You have lovely hair,” Emily said. “It’s a beautiful silver color. I know a lot of women who’d love for their hair to look like yours.”

  Libbie lifted her hand to her hair, smoothing it down. “I’ve kept it long all these years,” she said. “That’s the way everyone always liked it on me. But I love how your hair is cut to frame your face yet is still long. Do you think I’d look good with my hair that way? Even at my age?”

  Emily smiled. Libbie sounded so self-conscious about her looks when she didn’t need to be. “I think it would look wonderful on you. Just like that yellow dress. It’s the perfect color for you.”

  “Thank you, dear. I’ve always loved yellow.”

  Silence fell between them, and Emily searched for something to say. She was so happy to see that Libbie was fine. She lived in a nice place where the people were kind to her. And now maybe her old friends would come visit her and she wouldn’t have to sit alone on Sundays anymore. When Emily looked up to meet Libbie’s eyes, she thought she saw them twinkle mischievously.

  “You’re not really Carol’s daughter, are you, dear?” Libbie said softly.

  Emily’s heart sank. She knew she shouldn’t have lied. Slowly, she shook her head. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry I lied. I had to meet you, but I didn’t think I’d be allowed to visit if I wasn’t a friend or a relative. And once I lied, I had to stick to it.”

  Libbie sat forward, closer to Emily. “It’s okay, sweetie. I understand.”

  “What gave me away?” Emily asked.

  “You’re much too young to be Carol’s daughter. She must be at least ten or fifteen years older than you. I also know that Carol’s daughter has the same beautiful auburn hair as her mother.”

  “I’m sorry,” Emily repeated remorsefully. “I really am. But why didn’t you tell me you knew right away?”

  “I was afraid if I told you I knew, you’d leave. And I so wanted to talk to you.”

  “Really? Why?”

  Once again, Libbie’s fingers went to the pendant at her neck. “You’re Jack and Kate’s daughter, aren’t you?”

  Emily stared at her, stunned. “How did you know that?”

  “I still subscribe to the Jamison newspaper. So much has changed, and I know very few people there anymore, but it is home, after all, and I like to see what goes on there. I recognized you from your high school graduation picture years ago.” She gave Emily a small smile. “Besides, you have your mother’s lovely eyes and Jack’s smile. I’d recognize that smile anywhere.”

  Goose bumps ran up Emily’s arms. Libbie knew who she was, yet she’d wanted her to stay anyway. It all seemed so unreal.

  “I’m so sorry about the loss of your mother, dear,” Libbie continued. “I didn’t know her personally, but I did know her brother, Larry. I’m happy that Jack found a sweet girl like Kate to build a life with. He deserved happiness, especially after all I put him through.”

  Sadness creased Libbie’s face as she looked down at her hands.

  “Thank you,” Emily said. “My mother was a wonderful person, and I miss her.”

  Libbie looked up at Emily, her eyes now filled with compassion. “How is he doing? Jack, I mean.”

  “He’s doing okay, keeping busy, working on cars in his shop still. I know he misses my mom terribly, but he’s getting through it, like we all are.”

  Libbie nodded. “That’s good. Loss is such a dreadful thing. Did Jack tell you about me?”

  “No, he didn’t. To be honest, I never knew he was married before, until I came upon a box of photos in a closet at my grandmother’s house. She was the one who told me about you and Dad.”

  “Photos,” Libbie said, staring up into the sky as if searching for something. She turned back to Emily. “Jack has pictures from those days?”

  “Yes. Well, yes and no. He brought a box of photos to my grandmother’s house years ago, and they’ve been there ever since.”

  Libbie’s face softened. “I’m happy he saved them. I didn’t know any still existed.”

  “I could bring them someday, if you’d like. Some are damaged, but many aren’t.”

  “Yes. I’d like that very much.” Libbie’s gaze returned to Emily. “Your grandmother. Is that Bev?”

  “Yes.”

  A smile spread across her face. “Bev. How I adored her. And Norman and Ray. And Jan. Tell me everything about them, please. I’ve missed them all so much.”

  Emily told her all about the family and also what Larry was up to. She told her about meeting June and how much her old friend would love to see her. The two women talked about people past and present, and Emily told her about Jordan and how he was pursuing a doctorate degree. Time slipped away and before they knew it, they were the only two people left outside. Angie came out to tell Libbie that dinner was being served.

  “Oh, I took up your whole afternoon,” Emily said.

  “I’m so happy you did,” Libbie told her. “I haven’t enjoyed myself this much in years.” She looked at Emily with a hopeful expression. “Is there any chance you might come and visit with me again?”

  Emily smiled. “I’d love to come see you again. I work on some Sundays, though. Is it okay to come during the week sometimes?”

  Libbie’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yes. Please do. Just call ahead to make sure we’re here. Sometimes we take little shopping trips to towns.”

  Emily stood and Libbie did also. Angie had gone inside again, to give them some privacy. Emily walked with Libbie to the doors that led into the building. They both stood there a moment, and Libbie gazed up at Emily, her blue eyes glistening.

  “Can I give you a hug good-bye?” she asked tentatively, as if afraid the answer would be no.

  Emily’s heart swelled. “Of course.” The two women hugged and then said their final good-byes. Libbie went slowly through the doors and disappeared. Emily just stood there a moment, marveling at how quickly Libbie had stolen her heart.

  Angie came outside with a wide grin. “You’ve made Libbie very happy, I just have to hug you, too.”

  Emily laughed and they hugged. “I think I got as much out of it as she did,” Emily told her.

  “We adore Libbie here. I know that she’s had a rough life, but she’s content now.”

  As they walked together out to the parking lot, Emily admitted to Angie her true identity.

  “I’m sorry I lied. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to see her if I wasn’t family or a friend.”

  Angie brushed it off. “After seeing how happy Libbie is, I don’t care if you’re the Easter Bunny.” She laughed, and then turned serious. “I hope you’ll come and see her again. This has been so good for her.”

  “Oh, yes. I plan on coming often. And my grandmother wants to visit, too, as well as a couple of old friends of Libbie’s. I hope that’s okay. It won’t upset her, will it?”

  Angie shook her head. “It won’t upset her. Libbie’s doing so well on her medication. As long as she’s okay with it, she’ll be fine.” They stopped beside Emily’s car. “I can’t tell you what your visit to Libbie means to all of us here. We’ve all felt so sad for her, not having visitors. Libbie is such a sweet soul. She deserves to be happy.”

  Emily nodded. “I could tell that just from the short time we visited. Believe me, I’ll be back to see her.”

  Emily kept her promise. Over the next month, she visited Libbie every week. Each time, she grew to know her just a little more, and she understood why her father had fallen in love with her all those years ago. Libbie not only was sweet and kind, but she was also smart and had a fun sense of humor. Emily never asked her about her health issues, and they rarely talked about Jack other than when Libbie asked how he was. Instead, they took walks around the property, talked about everything from current events to the latest cl
othing styles, and once Emily even took Libbie out to lunch at a café in Spring River.

  Emily loved visiting with many of the other residents also. Once they recognized her as the manager from the department store they shopped in occasionally, they would ask her questions about styles and mixing and matching their clothes. So many of the ladies took pride in their appearance, especially when they went out with family or as a group on little trips, that they wanted any advice Emily could give them. She enjoyed talking to them about fashion, and on occasion, she and Libbie would go with one of the women to look through her closet and put together outfits. Libbie especially enjoyed this and puffed up like a proud mother at Emily’s popularity.

  In mid-July, when Emily brought Bev along on a Sunday visit, she and Libbie hugged and cried. Emily stepped away for a time to give them privacy, and her heart filled with joy as she watched them from across the patio, their heads close together, sharing confidences.

  “Amazing,” Angie said, coming up beside Emily. “So that’s Jack’s mother.”

  Emily looked at Angie curiously. “Why is that amazing?”

  “Libbie used to talk about Jack often but stopped over the years. I began to think she’d dreamt him up, and the pendant she wore was just jewelry from a relative or something, even though she said that Jack had given it to her. But then you showed up, and now Jack’s mother.” She turned and looked at Emily. “Will Jack show up next?”

  Emily bit her lip. “I haven’t told my dad about Libbie yet. I hope to, someday, but I want to get to know Libbie better first. Their ending was so dramatic and heartbreaking. I’m not sure how he’d feel about seeing her again.”

  Angie shook her head. “Imagine. All those years lost. It’s so sad.”

  Emily thought so, too, and it made her ponder her own relationship. Was she spinning her wheels with someone who may not want the same future she did? She and Jordan hadn’t spoken again about the move except for Jordan telling her he’d rented a two-bedroom apartment in a nice area not far from the school. In a month, he’d have to move down there to start the fall semester. He still thought she was coming with him. But Emily hadn’t decided yet. And the fact that she didn’t want to go told her volumes about where their relationship was headed.

  She looked up and saw Bev wave her over to join them. Leaving her thoughts behind, she hurried over with a smile.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

  At the end of July, Libbie asked Emily if she’d like to go with the group on an overnight shopping trip to Fargo. “We do this once a year and the other women invite their daughters or granddaughters along. I usually don’t go since I’ve never had anyone to invite. I’d love it if you’d come along with me. I’ll pay for everything, of course.”

  “I’d love to go,” Emily said, elated that Libbie would ask her along. “And you don’t have to pay for everything. We’ll have fun.”

  Libbie’s eyes sparkled. “I’m so happy you agreed to go. I was afraid I was being too forward, asking you like this. I can’t wait.”

  But when Emily mentioned to Jordan that night that she’d be going on a shopping trip with Libbie the second week in August, he flipped out.

  “You can’t go then. That’s the week before we move to the Cities. We have packing to do.”

  “I’m sorry, Jordan, but I’m going on the trip. Besides, I’ve never said I was moving to Minneapolis. That’s your plan. I haven’t decided yet.”

  “What do you mean you haven’t decided? Of course you’re going. We’re a couple. If I move, you move, too.”

  A crease formed between Emily’s brows. “You made the decision to take the grad assistant job without discussing it with me first. If we were a couple, you would have considered my feelings in this. Now I have to do what’s right for me. I’m not sure I want to move there. I like my life here, and besides, I still want to go back to school someday. Here. Not in Minneapolis.”

  Jordan stared at her, crossing his arms. Emily could tell he was composing himself so he could play the logical one. He did that when he felt he was losing a fight. He always turned it around on her. She hadn’t noticed it until recently, and when she realized he’d been doing it all along, it made her angry.

  “Let’s discuss this like adults,” Jordan said, his tone condescending. “I had no choice but to take the position, so discussing it with you wouldn’t have made a difference. This is for our future together, Emily. Why don’t you see that?”

  Emily sighed. “I know you see it that way, but I’m afraid I don’t. This is my home. My family is here. I like living here. I can’t picture myself living in a busy, crowded city. If you’d discussed it with me before taking the position, I would have told you that. I’m not going, Jordan. I’m sorry.”

  Jordan looked as surprised as she felt. Up until that moment, she hadn’t realized that she absolutely wasn’t going with him. But now she knew she couldn’t go. She was willing to give up on their relationship to stay here. They hadn’t moved forward as a couple for ten years. She couldn’t see a future with Jordan any longer. It tore at her heart, but she knew it was true. It was over.

  “You’re not thinking straight,” Jordan said calmly. “I’ll give you time to think about it. You’ve been so wrapped up in this nonsense about Libbie and the past that you’ve lost sight of your own reality.”

  Emily shook her head. “No, Jordan. It doesn’t matter what you think about Libbie or me or my life here. I’m not leaving.”

  No matter what Emily said, though, Jordan wouldn’t believe her. He was holding out hope that she’d move with him. Sadly, Emily realized it had more to do with his financial need for her than with their relationship. He didn’t say it, but she knew that was why he was so desperate for her to come along. She’d supported them all these years so he could follow his dream. Without her support now, he’d never be able to afford basic living expenses. It made her sad to think that that was all their relationship had come down to—money.

  Two weeks later, on a Friday afternoon, Emily boarded the charter bus with Libbie and twelve other residents and their relatives for the two-and-a-half-hour drive to Fargo. Angie and two other nurses were along as well to supervise the trip. Some of the residents, Libbie included, depended upon them to help them take their medicine regularly, so it was important that they come along.

  All the women talked, laughed, and had a wonderful time during the ride. The atmosphere felt like being on a field trip with a bunch of sixth graders. Emily enjoyed meeting the other family members, and it looked like they were having a good time, too. Before they knew it they arrived at their hotel, situated close to the shopping mall, and soon had their bags stowed in their rooms. Emily and Libbie were sharing a room with two queen beds. Once they were settled, the group got into the hotel’s shuttle bus, which drove them to the shopping mall.

  “Okay, ladies,” Angie said when they all entered the mall. “Let’s meet back here at six o’clock so we can go out for dinner.”

  Everyone went off in their own direction, but they ran into each other at the various shops. Libbie wanted to look for some new clothes and asked Emily if she’d help her pick out some nice things.

  “That’s what I do best,” Emily said, laughing.

  They went into a store that catered to mature women, and soon Emily was bringing items back and forth to the dressing rooms for not only Libbie, but also two of the other women from the home. She suggested colors to them and found scarves and necklaces to accent the outfits they were trying. Their daughters helped, too, and they all had a great time trying on clothes.

  Angie came in and joined the fun. Soon, they were having a mini fashion show in the dressing rooms, and even the store’s sales associates were enjoying watching the ladies.

  Emily came into the dressing rooms after one of her searches and knocked on Libbie’s door. “I have the perfect dress for you, Libbie.”

  Libbie opened her door, and her eyes lit up when she saw what Emily was holding. It was a soft-pink dress wit
h a crisscross pleated bodice and a fitted waist that flared out into a full skirt.

  “Oh, I love pink,” Libbie said, taking the dress.

  Emily had known this. She remembered the pink dress in the prom photo with her father.

  Once Libbie had the dress on, Emily helped her zip up the back, and she came out to look in the three-way mirror. The other ladies exclaimed at how lovely it was when they saw Libbie.

  “It’s so beautiful on you, dear,” one lady said.

  Emily agreed. “It’s perfect. The color makes your skin glow.”

  Libbie turned first one way and then the other, making the skirt swish around her legs. She seemed entranced by the dress, her gaze far, far away.

  “I love it,” she whispered, looking over at Emily. “But where on earth would I wear it?”

  “I’m not sure,” Emily said. “But it looks like it was made for you.”

  Libbie agreed, and she purchased it along with several other items that Emily had helped her find.

  As the women waited in line to pay for their purchases, Emily and Angie stood aside.

  “You sure are good with Libbie,” Angie said. “Look at how happy she is. And the other women, too. You must be very good at your job in the department store.”

  Emily shrugged. “I’ve been doing it a long time. But someday I hope to go back to school.”

  Angie glanced at her. “What would you major in?”

  “I’m not sure. That’s the problem. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’ve been so focused on my boyfriend’s career, I put my own future on hold.”

  “That’s a shame,” Angie said. “Have you ever considered becoming a nurse? You’re good with people, and you have so much compassion for them.”

  Emily shook her head. “Oh, I could never do what you do. I hate needles and the sight of blood.”

  Angie laughed. “But you have a good heart, dear. What about social work? You could be an advocate for the elderly. There are many programs that could use a good person like you.”

  Libbie came over with her bags then, and Emily never had a chance to answer Angie. But as the evening continued and they ate dinner as a group at a nice restaurant, Emily thought about Angie’s suggestion. Social work. It was an interesting idea. She loved working with people, and she would enjoy being able to help people in need. The more she thought of it, the more the idea grew on her.