If I Loved You (Hollywood Hearts 1)

by Jean C. Joachim

  The last time for months. Meg could no longer fend off the devastating realization. Tears clouded her eyes as she rested her cheek on his shoulder.

  Chaz left soft kisses under her ear and along her neck as he sighed in satisfaction. “I wish you could come with me tomorrow,” he said as he eased out of her and rolled onto his side.

  “Please hold me,” she whispered, her voice shaking.

  He enveloped her in his strong arms and rested his chin on her head. She switched out the light on the nightstand. Next best part…sleeping next to him all night.

  They maneuvered into a spooning position and Chaz tightened his arm around her, drawing her closer up against him. “How will I sleep without you?” He muttered into her hair.

  “Only three months…”

  “Maybe two. Pray for two.”

  Before she could answer, she was asleep.

  * * * *

  Chaz and Meg were quiet as mice at seven o’clock the next morning, hoping not to disturb Mark and Penny. They showered together, enjoying each other’s bodies one last time before Bobby was due to pick up Chaz at nine fifteen.

  Megan dressed in her business suit before heading for the kitchen to make coffee. The aroma will probably wake them. She chewed her lower lip, anxious to avoid a confrontation with her brother.

  Meg cracked a couple of eggs in a hot pan and listened to them sizzle, pushing thoughts about what was happening to her life, her heart, out of her mind. You knew about his lifestyle before you got involved. She jumped when Chaz moved up behind her and put his hands on her waist. A smile swept across her face as he bent down to nibble on her neck.

  “Can I have you for breakfast?” His hands came around her middle and traveled up to cup her breasts.

  “Thought you already did.” She giggled when his thumbs found her nipples and circled them.

  “Never enough,” he murmured into her hair.

  “Take your hands off my sister.”

  Chaz jumped back from Megan. A sleepy Mark scratched his stubbly jaw with one hand while he ran his other hand through his unruly hair. His boxers hung low on his hips. He yanked them up a bit as he eyed Chaz and Megan.

  “Good morning. Coffee?” Megan tried to keep her tone light.

  “What are you doing here, Dunc?”

  “I’ve been seeing Meg…for a while now.”

  “How long? Can’t be that long.”

  “Mark, this doesn’t concern you.” The heat of anger rose to her face.

  “You’re banging my sister. Treating her like a groupie.” Mark balled his hand into a fist and took a step toward Chaz.

  “It’s not like that, Mark. I care for her. This isn’t hooking up.” Chaz held up his hands to Mark.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Megan hollered, taking a step toward her brother.

  “What you should have done. This guy needs boundaries.”

  “What Dunc and I do is none of your business.”

  “Oh? So, it’s ‘Dunc’ now for you too? When did that happen? When you screwed her?” With menace in his eyes, Mark turned toward Chaz.

  Chaz colored. “Bring it on, Davis.” Chaz fisted his hands and brought them up in front of his face.

  “Don’t tempt me…”

  “Mark, back off. None of this is any concern of yours. If we didn’t live together, you wouldn’t know crap about my…uh…private life.”

  “Damn right. But we do, squirt. I want to know what game you’re playing with Meg.”

  Mark glared at Chaz.

  “That’s between Meg and me. I’m not seeing anyone else. She’s not a groupie…she’s my girl. Mine and mine alone–if that’s any business of yours. Unlike jocks, I have no problem being faithful to one woman,” Chaz shot back, lacing his fingers with Meg’s.

  A burning smell, followed by a loud screech from the smoke detector, drew their attention.

  “Damn! The eggs!” Meg exclaimed, grabbing the pan and sliding it away from the flame before she turned off the burner.

  “Not all jocks are screwing around,” Mark said as he opened the kitchen window wide.

  “You’re kidding right?” Chaz let out a mirthless laugh.

  “I’m serious. I don’t, and there are others…”

  “Count them on the fingers of one hand, Mark.” Anger flickered in Chaz’s eyes, “I’m not into groupies. Been there. I don’t screw around…and I don’t like you accusing me of that in front of Meg.”

  “Boys…boys. Back to your corners.” Meg put up her hands.

  “I understand she’s your sister, Mark, but she’s not a baby. She’s entitled to have an adult relationship with me. I don’t see how what we do concerns you.”

  “I gotta protect my little sister. Don’t you have a little brother or sister?”

  “I’m an only child.”

  “She’s my little sister and I’m standing up for her. Always have, and always will. No one messes with Meg.”

  “I’m not messing with her. I…I…” Chaz stopped.

  “Look! I’m here, you know. In the room. You two are talking as if I’m not here. I can take care of myself. Thank you, Mark, but I think I can handle things. And Chaz, Mark means well, but I can speak up for myself. Thanks for the protection, guys.”

  “It’s time you got used to Meg having a life of her own, Mark,” Penny piped up from the archway to the kitchen.

  She headed for the coffee pot. Mark reached up and took down a mug for her. She poured coffee, added milk and sugar, and took a sip before resting her hand on Mark’s arm.

  “Someday, Meg will get married, Mark. She’ll be putting another man before you. You have to accept that.”

  “I will, I will. But a movie star? You think he’s committed to her? I think he’s a player.”

  Mark, Penny and Meg turned to look at Chaz. Well are you? Don’t think so, but maybe I’m wrong.

  “Wait a minute!” Chaz held up his palm. “I’m not a player, I’m not messing with Meg. She’s…she’s special, not like the rest.” He glanced at his watch.

  They continued to stare at him. Don’t say I love you to him…don’t.

  “My feelings for Meg are private. I’ve got to go,” Chaz stalked out of the room.

  Meg put down her mug and headed for the front door, stopping in the archway to turn toward her brother. “Thanks a lot, Mark. Way to intimidate my boyfriend.”

  When he reached the front door, Chaz turned and pulled her in for one last kiss. Meg melted against him.

  “I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tonight.”

  She couldn’t hide a look of doubt from him. Those words are the kiss of death.

  “I mean it. Time will go quickly…then we’ll be together again soon.”

  Her gaze followed him as he walked out the door. Will I ever hear from you again or is this simply going to become a great memory?

  Chapter Ten

  Later that night, Megan received a text from Chaz explaining he had a hundred details to attend to before leaving for Phoenix and would call her from there. Yeah, right, sure. That’s okay. It was fun. I’ll call you—famous last words from a man.

  She stopped speaking to Mark as a way of staying off the subject of her affair with Chaz. Focusing on her work, Megan made charts, analyzed stocks and mutual funds, and made a few appointments with potential new clients. Some of the people who contacted her online when it came out she was handling Chaz Duncan’s account stayed friendly. She chatted with them at lunch and before or after work.

  By Saturday, she was weary and hid from the world under the covers. A knock on the door roused her. “It’s me,” Penny called from behind the closed door.

  Megan donned her bathrobe and opened the door. Penny handed her a mug of coffee the way she liked it. “You can’t hide in there forever. Mark’s sorry, Meg. Please…Come talk to us. He’s making bacon and eggs.”

  “Mark? Did you alert the fire department?” Meg sipped on her coffee while she followed her sister-in-law. The tempting aroma had
lured her out of her shell.

  “He’s been practicing, and he’s pretty good now. You’ll see.”

  It was ten o’clock when Meg sat down at the table. The aroma of the frying bacon sparked hunger to gnaw at her guts. Mark’s bacon was crisp but not brittle, just the way she liked it, and the eggs were cooked well without being overdone. She scarfed down the food as if she hadn’t eaten in a week. “Delicious, Mark. Bravo!”

  Her brother grinned and bowed from the waist. Distracted from him by her phone, Megan stopped clapping to answer. It was Chaz. “Hey, little chick, how are you?

  “Chaz?” She left the kitchen, seeking a private place to talk to her beloved.

  “Don’t sound so surprised. Told you I’d call.”

  “Guess I didn’t quite believe you.”

  “What do I have to do to convince you I’m not just playing around with you…declare my undying love?”

  “Wouldn’t hurt.”

  Chaz laughed and Megan found herself grinning.

  “Thought we decided not to fall in love?”

  “Yep. Of course. ‘If I loved you’…sorry, I forgot.” Ouch. Not what I wanted to hear.

  “We’re on the same page.” He spoke slowly. She detected a note of reluctance.

  “How was your trip?”

  “Phoenix is hot and dry. Perfect weather for filming outside shots, too.”

  “Any women in the cast I should be worried about?”

  “No one who can cook a meatloaf like you can.”

  She laughed.

  “If you see pictures of me out with women from the cast, ignore them. Having a few dinner dates with the woman who plays your love interest is mandatory. It’s only publicity. I don’t want you to think I’m dating Anna Jason or anyone else. It’s just publicity. Okay?”

  “Okay. Never had a guy tell me to ignore his dates with other women. ”

  “It’s my job, Meg.”

  “I suppose.”

  “Little chick…cut me some slack. Are you meeting any guys over dinner, trying to win their business?”

  “Maybe…” No. Just a female opera singer and a lady author.

  “Oh?” The unmistakable twinge of jealousy in his voice put a smile on Megan’s face. Gotcha!

  “Nothing for you to worry about, Mr. Duncan. It’s just business.”

  “Touché. Don’t fall in love with anyone, Meg. Promise me.” The pleading tone in his voice soothed her.

  “How can I promise that?” Mark always said don’t sound too easy. Make a guy work or he’ll lose interest.

  “Try.”

  “All right. I promise.” How could I fall for anyone else when I’m head over heels in love with you? “Same goes for you.” Meg chewed her lip.

  “No problem. You’re one of a kind.”

  Meg sank down on the sofa and rested her feet on the coffee table. “You say the sweetest things.”

  “If I was there, I’d do more than talk.”

  “Thinking about that, too.” Memories of his kisses sent chills down her spine.

  “Gotta go. Talk again soon. I…lo…see you.”

  And the phone went dead. He almost said it. At least he called.

  * * * *

  Meg tagged along with Mark and Penny on a three-day vacation at the beach for the July Fourth holiday. Everyone appeared to be paired off except her. Even so, the ocean at Fire Island was beautiful, if cold, and when she wasn’t pining away for Chaz, she read two books. A couple of men tried to pick her up on the beach, but when you had champagne, you didn’t go out for beer. No one could compare to Chaz. Whether he wanted a relationship with her or not, her heart belonged to him. So, she smiled at the cute guys on the beach but went back to her room alone.

  When they returned to the City, Megan was surprised to find a distressed Briny working at the door on his day off. Baxter lounged on the floor mat behind him. “Can I speak to you, Miss Davis, privately?”

  She nodded and Briny took her into the back of the lobby while Penny and Mark—loaded down with luggage—made their way upstairs. “What’s wrong, Briny?” Megan closed her fingers around his forearm.

  “Mrs. Bender died yesterday.”

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

  “She was ninety, so it wasn’t quite so bad. But I have a problem.”

  “What?”

  “Baxter. The family says they won’t take him and my landlord said he made an exception while Mrs. Bender was sick, but dogs aren’t allowed in my building. I don’t want to give him to the pound. They’ll kill him. He’s only three. What am I going to do?” His hand shook when he reached into his pants for a handkerchief to mop his forehead. “Dogs are allowed here, aren’t they?”

  He nodded.

  “Why don’t I take him until you can find him a permanent home?”

  “I’d be so grateful. I’ll walk him for you while you’re at work…no charge.”

  Megan smiled at him.

  “It’s a deal.”

  Briny pulled out Baxter’s leash, food and water bowls, plus his only toy. As Megan approached the slightly pudgy pug, he wagged his tail and panted, his pink tongue hanging out of his mouth. “He’s cute.”

  “He’s a good dog, too, Miss Davis. Doesn’t do nothin’ in the house. Doesn’t chew the furniture either. But he’s kinda lonely. I think he misses Mrs. Bender.”

  Megan snapped the leash on him and walked him to the elevator. Maybe I should have asked Mark first. It’s his apartment. Maybe I should move out.

  As they rode the elevator, she petted Baxter, who continued to wag his tail. I hope Mark likes dogs. He used to. Hmm. She began to sweat as she walked down the hall. Baxter raced into her apartment as soon as she opened the door. Meg toed off her shoes and put her keys in the silver bowl. She padded into the living room to find Penny sitting on the floor, petting Baxter and laughing.

  “You scared the hell out of me…or should I say this doggie did. Who is he?”

  “His name is Baxter and I’m taking him until Briny can find him a home.”

  “He’s adorable.”

  When Mark entered the room, Baxter ran over to him and jumped into his arms. Mark fell back on the sofa and Baxter stood on his chest licking his face. Mark was laughing.

  “He’s wonderful.” Penny grinned.

  “I know. He’s so friendly. His owner died, and he’s lost his home. I’m thinking about changing his name.”

  “What kind of dog is he?” Mark asked his sister.

  “He’s a pug.” Megan plopped down on the loveseat.

  “Sure is a friendly guy. What are you going to call him?” Mark scratched the pudgy pug behind the ears.

  “I was thinking of Grady,” she said with a mischievous smile.

  “Where have I heard that before?”

  “That’s Chaz ’s character in his movies.”

  “It figures.” Mark petted the dog, who insisted on trying to lick his face at every opportunity.

  “So it’s okay for us to keep him?”

  “I thought you said it was temporary?” He cocked an eyebrow at his sister.

  “Yeah, well, I like him. And you’re gone most of the time. Chaz will be gone for three months. So I thought Grady, here, would be good company.”

  Mark looked at his sister, handed her the leash, and smiled. “Sure. He looks like a fun guy. Knock yourself out.”

  Megan stood up to hug him and grinned at Grady.

  “Grady is your new name, buddy, okay? Let’s go buy you some dog food.”

  Penny joined Mark on the sofa and snuggled into his shoulder. Megan left the apartment.

  * * * *

  After dinner, Meg stretched out on her bed to read. Grady jumped up to join her. He circled in a small area at the foot of the bed then flopped down and started to snore. I guess he’s sleeping with me tonight. She smiled. Suppose if I can’t sleep with Dunc, Grady is the next best thing.

  She started to laugh. Grady’s eyes popped open, and he started to bark. Her phone rang.
Chaz.

  “Hey, little chick.”

  “Hi. How’s the movie coming?”

  “Okay. Certain amount of bullshit, but that’s to be expected. Miss me?” His voice sounded relaxed.

  “I’ve got a new man to keep me company.”

  “Oh?” The sudden tightness in his voice was obvious.

  “Yeah. He’s here right now. In fact, he’s going to be spending the night…”

  “Sleeping where?”

  “In my bed.” Megan couldn’t contain herself and started giggling.

  “What!” Anger heated up her phone.

  “That’s right.” Her hand slapped over her mouth before the guffaw slipped out.

  “Who is this guy?”

  “His name is Grady.” She choked out.

  “Grady! You’re joking? Grady? What the…why are you laughing?” Anger turned to suspicion.

  “I’m not…laughing…I’m…” she put the phone down and howled with laughter.

  “Give.” His voice was calm once again.

  “Okay, just a minute.” She took a deep breath then let it out, and a few giggles with it.

  “Who is this guy?”

  “Remember Baxter? Mrs. Bender’s pug?”

  “The one Briny was taking care of?”

  “Mrs. Bender died, and Briny got custody of Baxter. He gave him to me. He’s the sweetest thing. Since I miss you so much, I renamed him ‘Grady.’”

  Now it was Chaz’s turn to laugh. Grady walked over to her, licked her face, and circled again—this time nearer to Meg—before flopping back down. “Grady is a pug. You little tease…you had me worried.” Chaz chuckled.

  “He’s the cutest thing. You can see him on the computer.”

  “I’d better. Want to make sure ‘Grady’ is really a dog.”

  “Jealous?”

  “A little. After all, he’s sleeping with you and I’m not.”

  “Good. While you’re out there with a million sexy women, I’m snuggling up here with Grady.”

  “I wish it were Grady Spencer you were snuggling with.”

  “So do I. Tomorrow I’m going to start your weekly financial report. Will you have time?”

  “I will. Gotta go. Early call tomorrow. Sweet dreams, little chick.”