Ruthie's Desire - The Esquire Girls Series - Ruthie's Story (Books 1, 2, 3 & 4) - Box Set

by Cassie-Ann L. Miller

  “Special delivery,” Amber announces as Hailey shoves a garment bag in my direction. “It’s from Michael,” she says, stretching a handwritten note at me.

  I saw this and couldn’t help but think of you – M, it reads.

  I gently lay the bag on my bed and tug the zipper down as Hailey and Amber hover over my shoulder.

  I gasp as the sequined red fabric comes into view. Hailey clutches her chest as I gently lift it from the bag.

  “It’s…exquisite,” Amber says softly, fingering the delicate red beads adorning the front.

  “Ohmygod – try it on,” Hailey coaxes.

  I practically tear off the gray trousers and beige turtleneck that I had worn to the office this morning and carefully slide into the floor-length, crimson red strapless gown. It fits me like a glove with its heart-shaped neckline, cinched waist and thigh-high slit.

  It is exquisite.

  “I thought you said you were going to the movies,” Hailey says eyeing me suspiciously as she closes the dress’ discreet side zipper.

  “That’s what he said,” I mumble breathlessly, captivated by my reflection in the mirror.

  “Okay, move out the way,” Amber says, nudging Hailey in the ribs. “Her date will be here in fifteen minutes and we’ve got to figure out what to do with that blond mop of hair on her head.”

  Chapter 24

  “I knew you’d look breathtaking in that dress,” Michael whispers into my ear just before I ease into the backseat of the black stretch limousine.

  I move over just enough to give him the space to climb in next to me. “I love it,” I say, unable to wipe the stupid grin off of my face.

  “I’m glad,” he says nuzzling his nose into the crux of my neck as the car pulls away from the curb. “God, you always smell so good,” he mutters.

  I return his attention to my dress. “I do think it’s a bit overkill for the movies, though,” I say pulling my glamorous black fur stole tightly around my shoulders.

  Michael laughs as he drapes his arm around the back of my seat. “You’ll be the center of attention, just as you should be.”

  “I don’t like being the center of attention,” I say scrunching up my nose. I’m already beginning to feel self-conscious. Whenever I receive too much attention, that old fear raises its ugly head. The fear of being recognized, found out, linked to my former life.

  “You don’t strike me as shy,” Michael says distractedly weaving his fingers into my own as he watches the city zoom by through the limousine’s tinted windows.

  I should tell him. Right now, I should tell him the truth about me and who I am. About my past.

  But I chicken out.

  Dinner had been so wonderful. The way he’d looked at me – no man has ever looked at me like that. And I want it. I’m beginning to want something more with Michael. I’m beginning to want a relationship and I’m hoping that there’s some path around my past. I’m hoping that I can just sweep it under the rug and pretend that my past doesn’t exist.

  I lay my head against his strong shoulder and dream about what it would be like to claim this man for my own. To have him completely. I’m tired of fighting him away. I want him so bad.

  I must have gotten lost in my fantasy because, before long, the car stops. I lift my head and peer out the window and panic immediately sets in.

  There are photographers everywhere. Flashing bulbs. A red carpet. Screaming fans.

  The driver opens the door and Michael steps out onto the red-carpeted sidewalk. He reaches out a hand for me.

  My face is hot. My heart is pounding. I’m sweating. “Wha-what is – is this, Michael?”

  He sticks his head into the car, an ear-to-ear grin spread across his face. “We’re at the premiere of Unraveled after Dark. I saw you reading the novel. Remember? The author is one of my clients. She got us tickets to the screening.”

  I feel faint. I feel like I’m about to pass out.

  When he said we were going to the movies, I’d figured we’d catch a late show on East 86th Street. The world-premiere of one of the most anticipated movies of the year? Complete with shutter-happy paparazzi? This is more than I bargained for.

  “No! I can’t be here!” I retreat further into the limousine, now barely able to breathe.

  Michael looks confused. “I thought you’d enjoy this. I’ve seen you reading the novel. I don’t understand.”

  “I can’t be here, Michael. You can’t be seen with me. You don’t know who I am,” I insist.

  Michael tosses a glance at the expectant crowd behind him, waiting eagerly to see which hot actress or pop star emerges from the limousine. He turns back to me and looks mortified. He lowers his voice and his face is red. “Ruth, what the fuck is going on? What are you talking about? Who are you?”

  “I’m not just some innocent, sweet intern who works at your father’s law firm. I killed a man with my bare hands. You can’t be seen with me.”

  Michael’s jaw hangs open. His eyes are wide.

  There it is. The look I never wanted to have to see on his face. Disgust. Shock. Anger.

  I have to get away from him. Now.

  I grab my purse and scurry to the other limousine door. I throw it open and dash into the street, dodging around oncoming traffic. My long, sequined red dress floating around me, I manage to catch a cab once I make it to the other side of the street.

  With tears streaking down my face, I glance out the window and see Michael, staring in my direction, standing frozen in the bright theatre lights.

  Blinded by Desire

  (The Esquire Girls Series)

  Ruthie (Book 2)

  Cassie-Ann L. Miller

  “You’re special, Ruth. You’re everything that I didn’t even know I was looking for. Now that you’re here, I’m reevaluating my life, my goals.“

  Ruthie Salvador thought she had it all figured out. She'd long decided that she was damaged goods and that there were parts of herself that she could never share with anyone. She'd made peace with that. She'd accepted it.

  So, when a handsome, powerful man willingly puts his entire future on the line to be with her, she realizes that it may be time to re-evaluate her plans. And just when she lets her guard down and gives in to her desires, her ugly past threatens to swoop in and steal the new life that she is finally giving herself permission to live.

  Table of contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 1

  “Ruthie? I thought you had a date. What are you doing here?” Hailey sets her margarita glass down on the coffee table and leaps to her feet as I storm through the front door.

  Shit – Madison is here.

  She barely rips her attention away from the movie playing on the television to acknowledge me. Great – Michael’s sister, in my apartment. This is just what I need right now.

  I barrel past them and shut myself in my bedroom. Before long, Hailey is banging on the door. “Ruthie – open up!”

  “Go away, Hailey,” I say through my tears as I peel off my floor-length red sequined gown and watch it fall to the floor.

  I should have known. From the moment this dress showed up at my front door this evening, I should have known that this was no ordinary Friday night at the movies. I should have known that Michael had something over-the-top planned for us…And I should have put a stop to it.

  But I shut my brain off. I ignored the obvious. And now, Michael knows my secret. And he’ll nev
er look at me the same again; that’s for sure. I’ll probably lose my job because no law firm wants a lowly intern carrying as much dirty baggage as I’ve got.

  It’s all over for me. All because I couldn’t stay away from Michael.

  I sink into a sobbing mess on the floor and bury my face in my hands. This was supposed to be my chance to start over. To clean up my mess of a life. I got a second chance. My past had been swept under the rug. All I had to do was focus on my goals. Focus on my dreams. But yet again, I let myself get distracted by a man. Yet again, I sabotaged myself.

  I hear a booming knock at the front door and Hailey rushes off to answer it. I hear her muffled voice speaking at the end of the hall. Then, heavy footsteps barreling towards my bedroom. My door swings open so hard that it slams into the wall.

  “Michael? Michael, what are you doing here? What’s going on?”

  “Not now, Madison!” he growls at his sister as he storms into my room and slams the door shut behind him.

  I peer up at him from my seat on the floor. His face is red and his eyes are narrow as he glares down at me. “Go away, Michael,” I say quietly, sniffling through my tears.

  “Get up. We need to talk.” His tone is firm and unyielding.

  “I want you to go away.” This time, I try to sound more convincing. I fail.

  He reaches down and grabs me by the arm, yanking me to my feet. “Get up, Ruth.”

  “Ouch!” I wince, rubbing my now-sore arm. “What the fuck, Michael! Get out of here!” I stomp and point towards the door.

  I hear Hailey’s voice, just outside the door. “Ruthie – are you okay?”

  Madison pipes in. “Michael – Michael, answer me!”

  Michael lowers his voice to a whisper. “You’re not getting rid of me. Not until I understand what’s going on.”

  “Ruthie? Is everything alright?” Hailey calls again.

  I look into Michael’s eyes and see his pure determination. I can tell that he’s not going anywhere until I give him some answers.

  “Hailey – I’m fine,” I say to reassure my roommate all while glaring a hole into Michael. “Can you guys give us some privacy please?”

  “Okay – I’m right in the living room if you need me.” I hear the concern in her voice. I listen to the sound of her and Madison’s footsteps returning down the hall, back to the living room.

  “I need to know what’s going on, Ruth. What you said in the limo – was it true?” His expression has softened now. He looks like’s he’s desperately hoping that I didn’t mean what I said to him earlier. That it was a joke or a misunderstanding. That what I said to him isn’t true.

  But it is.

  I don’t know how I’m going to explain it to him. How I’m going to make him understand. It took me so long to come to grips with it myself.

  I wrap my arms tightly around my body, suddenly very self-conscious about standing in front of him in my panties and bra. I already feel so vulnerable about having this conversation. I can’t be half-naked too. “I – I want to get dressed first.” My voice sounds so sheepish that I barely even recognize it.

  Michael just sighs and leans against the wall as I reach into my drawer and pull out a worn pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It seems to take every ounce of energy in my body to put them on.

  I sit on the edge of my bed and fiddle with my hands in my lap. I don’t even know where to start telling this story.

  I jump when I hear a sneeze on the other side of the door. Michael swings the door open and finds Hailey and Madison lurking quietly in the hallway. He sighs in frustration. “Come on, Ruth. Let’s go somewhere private and talk about this.”

  Chapter 2

  I shift uncomfortably on the all-black leather sofa as Michael places of cup of steaming hot tea in my hands. He sits on the edge of the dark wooden coffee table in front of me.

  He’s yanked off his tie and unbuttoned the top of his oxford shirt since we walked into his apartment about 15 minutes ago.

  I look up into his eyes and the first stray tear courses down my cheek. I slowly run my tongue across my bottom lip to buy a little more time. Finally, I push a deep breath past my lips and say, “His name was Vlad.”

  Michael’s eyes narrow betraying his confusion. “Vlad?”

  I nod lightly. “I never knew his last name. I knew better than to ask.” I swallow as my words take me back to the darkest period of my life. “He was the first guy I met when I moved to New York from Rio de Janeiro. I wanted to be a supermodel – the next Gisele Bundchen. He said he was a model agent…I was expecting to walk the runway in New York Fashion Week. Instead I got four nights a week traipsing around a pole at Evade, an upscale gentlemen’s club on the Upper East Side.”

  I swear that Michael’s mouth drops open at that point. He no doubt sees the hurt that crosses my face as I take in his reaction to my confession. He quickly runs his large hand over his face as if to literally wipe the shock away. He clears his throat. “You were a stripper?”

  I look away, no longer able to meet his eyes with mine. He reaches for me, gently taking my chin into his hand. My lips quiver.

  “Ruth, you were a stripper?”

  All I can do is nod lightly. I don’t think I’ve ever been so ashamed of myself in my life.

  Michael stands up so fast that the table wobbles violently. He’s pacing the floor now, shoving his hands through his thick black hair. He goes over to the mini bar in the corner of the room and pours himself a caramel-colored drink. He winces as he takes two back-to-back gulps. Then, he pours some more.

  I might just chicken out now. I don’t want to talk to him about this. I don’t want to reveal my darkest secrets to this stranger. I don’t owe him an explanation. I can leave. Now.

  I set down the teacup and jump to my feet. “I’m not doing this,” announce pushing the torrent of mascara-stained tears from my face.

  Michael turns to me. “Sit down, Ruth.” His tone is measured. The veins in the side of his neck are pulsing.

  “I’m not sitting down. I’m leaving,” I say defiantly as I grab my bag and head to the door.

  Michael slams his glass down on the bar and roars, “I said, sit down.”

  I look at him with his bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair. He looks like a mad man right now. But for some reason, I know that he would never hurt me. “Goodbye, Michael,” I say as I turn the doorknob.

  He dashes over to me so fast, it makes my head spin. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RUTH – SIT THE FUCK DOWN!”

  I’m so startled that I drop my bag to the floor with a thud. Our eyes lock for a moment. I watch as his breathing calms and his chest stops heaving with each ragged breath. I tremble as he stretches out a hand to me. “Sit…please.” His tone is much gentler now. So is his touch.

  I take his hand and let him lead me back to the living room.

  He sits on the couch next to me. “What happened with Vlad? How did he end up dead?”

  I pull in a deep breath to center myself. “Vlad worked at the club where I…danced.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Michael flinch at my choice of words. “They called me ‘Angel’. After he recruited me, I became his favorite. His favorite girl. That means I became his property. He would do whatever he wanted with me. Whenever he wanted.” I can tell that Michael is having a hard time listening to my confession. “Michael – if this is too hard for you to hear, we don’t have to do it.”

  He releases a deep sigh and puts his hand on mine. “It’s okay. Go ahead.”

  I purse my lips for just long enough to bite back the fresh set of tears fighting against the back of my eyelids. “Vlad’s older brother, Sergei, owned the club. He had links to the Russian mob and he was a total brute to almost everyone around. But once he noticed me, I became his girl. He was a heaven-sent. He saved me from Vlad and I thought I was in love with him. He treated me better than Vlad ever did. He didn’t hit me. Vlad hated that his older brother had stolen me away. He was jealous, but what could he do? Sergei was in
charge.”

  Michael’s jaw is twitching. His fists are clenched. Since the day we met, he’s had a certain image of me in his head and with every word that I utter tonight, that image is fading away. He’s discovering who I really am…and I don’t think he likes it. I feel guilty for having led him this far down the rabbit hole. I should have never slept with him once I found out that he’s my boss’s son. Now, look at the mess I’ve made.

  Looking at the expression on his face, I feel the need to justify. I need him to understand that I didn’t screw up my life deliberately. “I never wanted to be a stripper and when I realized that I would never become the next big runway sensation if I stayed working at Evade, I told Sergei that I wanted to go back to school…to be a lawyer… I thought he’d be supportive because I thought he loved me. But, that’s when his true colors came out. He refused to let me go to school. I was his most popular dancer. I made way too much money for the club. From a business point of view, letting me quit was a bad idea.”