Everlasting

by S. E. Lund

  "Hello, Dawn," I said, trying to sound happy to hear from her.

  "Hey, girl," she said, sounding just as forced as I sounded. "I thought I'd give you a call and see if we can meet for coffee or if I could come by and see you and Sophie."

  "Of course," I said and glanced around, trying to decide whether I wanted to meet her at our favorite coffee shop or have her over. "When are you free?"

  "I work the evening shift at Harlem General so I'm free until three."

  I glanced at the clock. Drake was out meeting Dave for a game of racquetball and wouldn’t be home until supper.

  "Why don't you come over here before you go to work? You can see Sophie and we can have a cup of tea like old times."

  "Sounds good. I'll be there is twenty. Thanks, Kate. I know we haven't been close since you and Drake got together and everything but I would really love to see you and Sophie while you're in town."

  "Me, too," I said, my heart warming just a bit for her. "See you when you get here."

  I ended the call and turned to watch Sophie, who was lying on her back on the blanket, playing with her stuffed toy. Frozen was playing on the flatscreen and she was watching it on and off. I was amazed at how addictive the movie was. Sophie couldn't get enough of it and when it was playing in the background, she seemed happy, turning to watch at certain parts – especially the singing.

  I got out my mother's tea set and got everything ready for making tea for Dawn. When the buzzer sounded indicating that Dawn was outside the building, I went to the security panel and checked. Sure enough, it was her, standing at the front door waiting for me to buzz her up. I did and watched as she entered the building and started up the stairs.

  I opened the door and there she was, coming up the last flight of stairs.

  "There you are," she said and came to me, a bouquet of wildflowers in her hand, dressed in her colorful nursing jersey and pants, her hair pulled back into a bun. "Come give me a hug."

  I went to meet her with Sophie in my arms and we hugged, patting each other on the back. I took the bouquet from her and she took Sophie, who seemed quite calm being held by a complete stranger.

  "Come on in and I'll make the tea," I said and took the flowers into the kitchen. I turned on the electric kettle and then put the flowers on the island counter so I could cut the stems and put them in a vase of water.

  "These are pretty," I said and smiled at Dawn. "Did you get them at the grocer down the street?"

  "The very one," she said and sat at the island with Sophie in her arms. "She's getting so big. I half expected to see her being smaller than she is but I guess she was only premature because of the accident. Not because of anything organic."

  "That's what Drake said. She's perfectly healthy and is in the top 75% of her age for weight and height."

  "Good. She's doing really well." She talked to Sophie, asking her about Frozen on the television and telling her about the crucifix on a chain around her neck when Sophie pulled at it.

  "No, that's my mother's," she said softly. "You have to be careful with that."

  Dawn's mother had died when Dawn was young, and like me, had been motherless until her father remarried a few years later. It was something that bonded the two of us together, because she completely understood how I felt when my own mother died of breast cancer.

  Dawn finally tore her gaze off Sophie and turned to me, her eyes soft.

  "How are you doing, Kate? How are you really doing? I know you had some problems after Sophie was born. Dave told me."

  "You and Dave?"

  She shook her head. "No, we just met up in Starbucks one day and I made him sit down and talk to me about you. He told me you'd been diagnosed with PTSD, which is totally understandable, considering what happened."

  "Yes, I was," I said and nodded. I poured the hot water over the tea infuser and watched as the hot water turned a deep orange-brown. The aroma of black tea filled the room. "I was obsessed for a while with Sophie's health, worried that something terrible was going to happen to her. I had a hard time sleeping and was having panic attacks. Drake finally figured it out and I got some counseling. I'm much better now. I still occasionally worry about Sophie when she sleeps late, but I know she's healthy and probably nothing bad is going to happen."

  "That's good," Dawn said and played with Sophie's minion. "How is Drake doing, anyway? This must be hard on him, with all the publicity about his past."

  "It is," I said and poured her a cup. "It's really affected him – even at the hospital in San Francisco. He had to quit because of the harassment from one of the nursing supervisors who claimed to be watching Drake, warning the nursing staff to beware of him."

  "Really? That's terrible. That nursing supervisor should be fired."

  I shrugged. "You didn't like Drake when I first started to see him. In fact, I seem to recall that you threatened to report him to my father and the administration at NYP..."

  Dawn sighed audibly. "I know," she said softly. "I can't ever expect you to forgive me for that. All I can say is that I was a bit unreasonable about it, because of my sister."

  "A bit unreasonable?"

  She looked at me sheepishly. "Okay, a lot unreasonable. He's been good for you, other than the whole murderous ex-sex partner trying to kill you out of jealousy."

  "That's not Drake's fault. She's nuts. She's a sociopath."

  She sighed. "I don’t want to argue with you about this," she said. "I understand more about BDSM now than I did before. I don't blame Drake for what happened. You can meet a nut job in any situation who can hurt you. It's not Drake's fault."

  "It isn't. Drake's been a rock, but he's decided to take some time off and wait until the publicity from the trial blows over and then he may try to go into private practice. He doesn’t need to work. He does it out of love for neurosurgery."

  "He's lucky he has the flexibility."

  We drank our tea and ate some of the fresh scones I made, along with some strawberry jam.

  "How are you liking San Francisco? It's beautiful there. I bet you love it."

  I smiled, thinking of our place overlooking the bay. I told her about our place and my studio, and what I'd been doing while Drake worked.

  "It's so good that you're painting again. That makes me happy. Have you thought about finishing your MA?"

  "I have," I said. "The thing is that I've been so busy with Sophie that I barely have time for anything. But Elaine was really good and took Sophie in the afternoons occasionally so I could go to my studio and get some work done. I might finish my MA if we come back to Manhattan for part of the year."

  "You're thinking of that?"

  I nodded. "I miss Manhattan. San Francisco is great but this is my home."

  "That's great. I'd be so happy if you moved back and we could try to be friends again. I miss you."

  I smiled. "I miss you, too."

  I did miss Dawn. I missed having a best girlfriend who understood me and was there for me. Dawn had crossed a line when it came to Drake, and at one time, I wasn't sure I could forgive her completely, but now, I felt that I might be able to forgive her, even if I couldn’t forget. We could have coffee or tea now and then if she showed an ability to accept my life for what it was.

  "Let's not let too much time pass between visits," she said. "I know I was wrong in the past, but I hope you can forgive me and we can be friends again – real friends."

  I nodded, my heart squeezing just a bit at the thought we might be friends again.

  "How about you?" I asked, wondering whether she had someone special. "Are you seeing anyone? I know you and Kurt were seeing each other for a while."

  "That ended pretty quickly, but we're still friendly at least. But no, I'm still an old maid." She shrugged. "Always the bridesmaid, never the bride."

  "You'll find someone," I said and took her hand, giving it a squeeze. "When you least expect it, you'll look up and see someone and he'll see you and that will be it."

  "That's what happened w
ith you and Drake, right? Although, you were a bit more reluctant at first. You fought it."

  "I did," I said, smiling to myself as I remembered meeting Drake and finding out he was the Dom I was going to meet for an interview. "I overcame my reluctance pretty fast. I never looked back. Not once. He's a perfect match for me."

  "You're lucky." She sighed. "I hope I can find my own perfect match."

  We talked some more about my father and how his health was and what Heath was up to in Haiti and then she glanced at her watch.

  "Well, I guess I better get going," she said and stood up, carrying Sophie to the door. She gave her a big kiss on the cheek and then handed her to me. After she put on her shoes, she stood up and gave me a hug.

  "I hope we can do lunch one day, before you leave."

  "I'll talk to Drake. He can take Sophie for a few hours and we could go to Katz's Deli if you'd like. I feel like some good corned beef."

  She smiled. "I'd love that. I haven't been to Katz's Deli for years."

  We hugged again and then she left, taking the stairs back down to the entrance.

  I watched her on the security monitor and saw that she waved before she exited the building.

  I went to the window and followed her as she walked down the street to the subway stop. From there, she'd take the train to Harlem General for her shift as a pediatric nurse.

  I took Sophie over to the living room and put her back down on the floor with her toys. Then I went to get a bottle ready for her afternoon nap. While it was heating up in the bottle warmer, I watched out the window at the street traffic, the sounds of the city coming in through the open window. I loved the city.

  I wanted to move back. But I wanted my father and Elaine to come back as well. I hoped Drake was right – that if we could find a better place for my father to live, he might be quite happy to come back to Manhattan for part of the year. As much as I loved and missed Manhattan, I wouldn’t leave my father for very long. I knew he was ill and probably didn’t have a lot of time to live. I wanted to spend as much time with him as I possibly could. I wanted him to watch Sophie grow and to remain close to Drake.

  Drake had lost his father too soon, and so I wanted us to be as close a family as we could possibly be.

  So, we'd try to spend as much time with him and Elaine as we could.

  That was one thing Lisa had taught me – life was too short and humans too fragile to waste.

  Chapter 20

  DRAKE

  For the next few days I divided my time between Kate and Sophie and preparing for the trial. That meant meeting with my lawyer and with the prosecutor to go over my testimony.

  The day of my testimony at the trial arrived. Late that morning, I spent an hour sitting in on the trial, tucked away at the back of the room, in a seat close to the door so I could leave quickly in case anyone recognized me. I didn’t want to be the subject of gawking. At one point, someone recognized me and turned, taking out their cell to videotape me. A murmur went through the courtroom and so I got up and left, determined not to give anyone any gossip material.

  Earlier that morning, I spent some time with the assistant prosecutor going over my testimony to nail down the main points we would make. I did my best to keep a calm level head while I sat in the hallway outside the courtroom, waiting to be called.

  When I was called and went inside, I felt the eyes of all those in the courtroom on me as I walked to the witness box and was sworn in. On my way to the stand, I passed Lisa, who sat next to her attorney. She glared at me, her eyes narrow. She was dressed in a very prim women's pin-striped suit and white blouse, no makeup on her face and her hair pulled back into a bun.

  She looked nothing like a crazed delusional murderer, out to kill anyone who got in her way, and certainly not like anyone in love with me. I felt like she would have killed me then and there if she could have reached me.

  After being sworn in, I sat in the witness box and the prosecutor went through the questions we had prepared. As I answered, I glanced out and saw Lara sitting in the rear of the courtroom dressed impeccably in her blue suit, her platinum blonde hair pulled back into a bun, her dark glasses making her look very brainy.

  She smiled at me and gave me a slow nod.

  Strangely, she left abruptly. I imagined that she got a message and had to leave to attend to business.

  I felt I answered calmly, clearly and without any defensiveness. I admitted that while I had a few sexual encounters with Lisa Monroe before meeting Kate, I had never seen her again privately or in public until I learned she was a student in the surgical residency program at NYU. I denied any romantic or sexual relationship with Lisa while she was a student in the program or any time after we first met and had several encounters at parties at Derek Richardson's mansion in Yonkers. I described how once she became a student at NYU, she made suggestions about us being 'friends' or more, had tried to encourage me to be alone with her, and had made a physical pass, but that I told her I was currently happily married with a pregnant wife and wasn't interested.

  I recounted how I had gone to my supervisor in the pediatric neurosurgery program to withdraw because of Lisa's ongoing inappropriate behavior but had been encouraged to stay. Ultimately, because Lisa had continued to show interest and wouldn't accept no for an answer, I had gone to withdraw but had been told that Lisa would be asked to withdraw instead, because she was deemed to be not working out as a candidate in the residency program.

  I also went over how I had no idea it had been Lisa who attacked Kate until I was called by my supervisor, who apologized and expressed fear that it had been Lisa who struck Kate.

  My voice broke when I described being informed about Kate being hit by a car in a crosswalk while she was out walking and how I watched the surgery to save her life and that of Sophia, our unborn and seven-week premature baby. After a moment, I recovered and finished my testimony.

  All that was left was the cross examination.

  I was glad I spent time with my lawyer going over my testimony so that I was prepared for the kinds of questions the defense would ask. However, it was worse than I expected.

  Lisa's lawyer was a stern-looking woman with dark hair and dark-rimmed glasses. She kept asking leading questions, suggesting that I had maintained a relationship with Lisa from the time we met at Derek Richardson's until Lisa had attended NYU as a surgical resident. She suggested that I had been encouraging Lisa, wanting her to "take care of Kate for me" according to Lisa's claims. She repeatedly had her questions objected to and finally, the judge cautioned her when she asked a question that had no evidence to support the accusation.

  "Isn't it true that you were at the same public events as Ms. Monroe and that you secretly met with her and engaged in sexual activity while your then-fiancée was present?"

  "Objection!" the prosecutor called out, losing his patience. "Your Honor, there is absolutely no evidence presented that Ms. Monroe was at the concert in question. There was no record of any ticket being purchased by Ms. Monroe or receipt presented as evidence of Ms. Monroe's attendance. This is hearsay."

  The Judge, looking tired, agreed. "Sustained."

  Lisa's lawyer persisted. "Your honor, it is the Defense's contention that Ms. Monroe was encouraged to believe that if Mrs. Morgan was no longer in the picture that she would have a relationship with Dr. Morgan and would be married to him."

  The prosecutor stood up to protest. "Your Honor, the defense has produced no evidence that Dr. Morgan and Ms. Monroe were ever at the same event. There is no evidence in writing or on tape that Dr. Morgan ever made any promises to Ms. Monroe."

  The Judge responded wearily. "Dr. Morgan is not on trial and has not been charged with any offense. Move on from this line of questioning, Ms. Mackenzie."

  The defense tried their one tactic of suggesting that I had coached Lisa and promised that if she killed Kate, we would be together. It wasn’t meant to get her off. It was meant to make her look like a victim, and that I was the evil maste
rmind for when she was convicted and it was time for sentencing. That was its sole purpose.

  One claim they didn't bring up, that the prosecutor demolished during his presentation of the case, was the emails that were purportedly from me, which detailed our relationship and spoke in derogatory terms about Kate and glowingly about Lisa.

  Of course, police had already determined that those emails were written and sent from the IP associated with Derek Richardson's cabin where Lisa and her boyfriend were staying. From what I understood, those emails were subject to no cross examination by the defense. They gave up on those emails because they could not put me in the cabin at any time the emails were written, the way Lisa suggested. In fact, the only person who could have written them was either Lisa or her boyfriend.

  I was amazed at her mind and how she had concocted an entire fantasy of me conspiring with her to kill Kate and for us to be together. I still couldn't believe she thought that might happen, but apparently, she did. She thought that once Kate was out of the way, I would be free to be her lover. She'd throw over her boyfriend and together, she and I would work in a private practice as two neurosurgeons.

  How someone as bright and with such promise could be so mentally delusional, I would never understand. Perhaps it was her past that made her vulnerable to erotomania. According to evidence presented by the defense, she had been neglected by her parents as a child, and had been in foster care for some period of her childhood before being taken back after her mother remarried.

  The roots of her delusion about me and about men were laid down due to her history of sexual abuse in foster care – a sad story too often told. I had no doubt they were connected. Of course, that meant that she should have received psychological counseling to help her overcome her issues.

  That she didn't get counseling pointed to the inadequacy of our mental health programs in the US health care system.

  I suspected that she might plead not guilty due to insanity but she didn’t, which suggests that she had a bad lawyer despite her family connections. She also thought she was too smart and could direct her defense herself. She wasn't insane. She was definitely mentally ill. But she was sane enough to plan a murder and cover-up, even if she didn’t do it well enough to escape detection and imprisonment.