A Will To Change (Hope)

by Beth Rinyu

  Before I knew it, I was walking up the stairs to my apartment. It seemed like the shortest drive home ever, even in rush hour traffic, but then I remembered that the entire drive was filled with thoughts of Gabby. Time always went by fast whenever she was around, whether it was spending time with her physically or just thinking about her. My happy thoughts were quickly halted when I remembered that tonight was the night of her blind date. I didn’t like that she was going out with some guy that she never even met, not to mention the little hint that she had dropped about possibly sleeping with him. The thought of that made me want to puke. Gabby was not a one-night type of girl, and I hated that she felt like she had to resort to that. She deserved nothing but the best and, as far as I was concerned, no guy would ever be good enough for her.

  Gabby’s out-of-date music that she always listened to was blasting from her bedroom when I walked into the apartment. After quickly looking over my mail, I threw it down on the kitchen table and took a deep breath. Since I had been avoiding the topic with her all week, it was time to find out a little bit about this asshole that she was going out with.

  I couldn’t contain my laughter as I walked down the hallway toward her bedroom. I didn’t know what was funnier, her attempting to sing or the lame eighties music that she was singing to.

  I tapped lightly on her door. “Am I invited to the concert, or is it a private performance?”

  The music suddenly turned down. “Come in! You can be my groupie!”

  As I opened the door, I had to do a double take. She looked hot as hell, even in just a bathrobe. I was instantly hating this stranger that she was going out with even more. Her hair was hanging around her face in soft waves, just the way that I liked it, and she had on a little more makeup than she normally wore, not that she needed it. I sat down on her bed while she ran around pulling clothes out of her drawer. “Which one?” she asked, holding up a totally hot black low cut top and a pink turtleneck sweater.

  “The pink one,” I said knowing that it totally screamed “I'm a good girl”.

  “So who is this guy?” I asked.

  “Oh, he's a friend of the husband of one of the girls from work.”

  “Oh, so you have no clue if he’s an ax murderer or not.”

  She rolled her eyes at me and threw the shirts down on the bed. “Really, Will? He's an accountant.”

  “Oh, okay. I forgot that there was some golden rule out there that all accountants are nice guys.”

  “You are too much! I will be fine,” she said, taking a seat on the bed next to me.

  “What's this joker's name?”

  “Gene.” I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “What's so funny?” she asked.

  “As in Eugene? He probably wears nerdy glasses, has a pencil stuck behind his ear, and recites his math facts right before he blows his load.”

  She smacked me lightly on the arm. “Well, better to be a geek than a psychopath,” she teased before getting up and bending over to pick out her shoes. I tried my hardest not to look at her ass and the black lacy underwear hanging out of her bathrobe. Why was she wearing that sexy pair of underwear to go out on a blind date with a geek named Eugene?

  She turned around, holding up two pair of shoes. I pointed to the less sexy pair. She moved in closer to me and I could feel my “best friend” down below getting a little excited as I stared up at her in her skimpy robe, breathing in her familiar vanilla scent. “And you better be on your best behavior.”

  “Always,” I smirked.

  “Did you eat, Will?” I asked as I walked out into the living room to find him deep in a game of Call of Duty.

  “Nah. I guess I'll just eat cold pizza all by myself.”

  “Aw, poor baby. I can heat up some of the pasta that I made last night if you want.”

  “You're the best, Gabby girl.” He quickly looked up from his game to give me a quick smile. “Aw, fuck!” he screamed as I walked away. I didn't even bother to ask what had happened. I already knew. Clearly, he must have gotten blown up in the game.

  I took the pasta from the fridge, adding extra sauce to it and splattering it all over my shirt in the process. “Shit,” I whispered. After popping the plate into the microwave, I tried my best to blot up the mess that I made on myself, without much success. I quickly ran into my room and switched into the black top that was on my bed. As I looked in the full-length mirror, I realized that it looked much better anyway. That's what I get for listening to Will's sense of fashion. Then it finally dawned on me. He chose that sweater on purpose. I looked down at the ballet flats on my feet, then at my black suede boots on the floor and quickly changed into them instead.

  “Much better,” I said, looking myself over one last time. The microwave was buzzing at the same time as the doorbell and my stomach dropped ever so slightly. Will started to get up from his game. “You! Go get your pasta from the microwave!” I demanded as I whisked past him to answer the door.

  “Hey, why'd you change?”

  I turned around, giving him a sarcastic grin. “Nice try!”

  He held up his hands in defense. “Hey, I was just trying to save you from wasting a sexy outfit on a dud, but suit yourself.”

  “Oh, just go get your food before it gets cold!”

  I grabbed my coat, deciding that I would save myself the torment of introducing my date to Will and having him rub it in afterwards about how he was right. As I flung the door open, I was pleasantly surprised at the very tall, very well built, and very handsome man standing on the other side. He was dressed in jeans and a cream-colored cable knit sweater. His dirty blond hair was perfectly tousled and it offset his light brown eyes.

  “Hey. Are you Gabby?” he asked.

  “Yes. You must be Gene?” I smiled.

  He smiled back, revealing his perfect teeth and adorable dimples. On second thought… “I'll see ya, Will!” I shouted, hoping that would get his attention so he could see for himself that Gene was a total stud and not a dud.

  He walked out of the kitchen with a plate in his hand and a mouthful of pasta. I bit my lip to prevent myself from giggling as I watched him eye Gene up and down. “Oh, Gene, this is my roommate, Will. Will, this is Gene.” I gave him a sarcastic grin.

  “How you doing?” Gene said, extending his hand first.

  “What's up?” Will said, hesitantly shaking it.

  “Well, you enjoy your pasta!” I said as I was about to exit.

  “Wait, Gabby!” Will shouted. “Where's the parmesan cheese?”

  I slowly turned around. “It's in the fridge where it always is.” My eyes widened at him.

  “Well, I can't find it. Can you help me for just one second?” His eyes widened back at me.

  “Could you please just give me one second?” I asked Gene.

  “Sure. Take your time,” he answered, stepping out into the hallway.

  “Hey, nice meeting you, Eugene,” Will said with a devilish grin.

  “Actually, it’s just Gene,” Gene corrected him.

  I was going to kill him! I immediately regretted not making my quick escape like I had originally intended. I yanked his arm and pulled him into the kitchen, flinging open the refrigerator door. Was he kidding me? The container of cheese was dead center on the top shelf! “Here! Maybe you should think about getting glasses,” I said, slamming it down on the counter.

  “Yeah. I don't really want that.”

  “What?! Oh, my god, Will. You -.”

  “Here, take this,” he said, slipping something into my purse.

  “What the heck was that?” I opened up my purse and dug around inside, trying to figure out what he had just slipped inside

  “A can of mace.”

  “Are you crazy?!”

  “Hey, just because he's a pretty boy doesn't mean he won't try something.”

  “You are insane, you know that?” I started to walk away before turning back around and planting a kiss on his cheek. “Have a good night and maybe if I get lucky, we'll get to see if
you were right.”

  “About what?”

  “If he recites his math facts before he…well, you know.” I giggled. The look on his face was priceless as I walked out the door.

  Gene and I settled on a small intimate Italian restaurant not far from Will’s place, which I was glad about just in case he did turn out to be some psychopath. At least, that way, I knew Will would be close by. I was angry at myself for letting him make me so paranoid. Everything about Gene so far seemed really nice, except for the fact the he hadn’t stopped talking about his ex the entire time we were eating. Cleary, he still was not over this girl.

  “So, how long did you guys go out?” I asked.

  “Five years,” he replied.

  My eyes widened. “Wow, five years?! That’s a long time.”

  “Yeah. Diane didn’t believe in marriage. She said it was just a piece of paper that didn’t prove anything. Guess it was a good thing because it would have cost me loads of money when we broke -.” He choked back a sob. Oh, my god. This is not happening. Was I really on a date with a guy who was about to cry over his ex? Why me?

  “That Vodka Rig is the best I ever had,” I said, trying to change the subject.

  “Yeah, Vodka Rigatoni was always Diane’s favorite.” Dude, come on! Snap the fuck out of it! “I’m really sorry, Gabby. You must think I’m some kind of idiot.”

  Just a little. “No, that’s okay,” I said, playing it off.

  “You remind me so much of her. Your lips, your eyes, your smile.” His tongue swept over his lip as he glared at me.

  I was so happy when the waiter brought the check. “So, did you want to go back to my place?” he asked as he signed the credit card receipt.

  As much as I wanted to get back in the action, I knew this was not the guy to do that with. He clearly had ex-girlfriend issues and I didn’t want to be his “rebound” girl, having him imagine that I was Diane the whole time that we were doing it. As much as I hated to admit it, Will was right. I wasn’t that type of girl.

  “Umm, you know what, Gene? I’m really tired and I’m starting to get a headache. Happens to me every time I drink red wine,” I lied.

  He slammed his fist on the table and stood up. “You’re all evil bitches! Nothing but cock teases!” he shouted before storming out the door.

  What the hell?! My jaw dropped at his sudden outburst as the couple at the table next to me looked over. “Blind date,” I said.

  The woman looked at me and smiled before nodding her head. “Well, I hope there’s not going to be a second one,” she chuckled.

  “Oh, hell no!” I smiled before getting up and walking out of the restaurant.

  I wrapped my coat tightly around me and pulled my can of mace from my purse. Will’s apartment was only two blocks away, but he had me paranoid. It turns out that Gene was a little “weird”, and I wasn’t quite sure to where he had stormed off. My first date after three years was an epic fail. If that’s what was out there, I now knew why so many women kept an extra set of AA batteries in their nightstand for their battery-operated boyfriends.

  I breathed a sigh of relief once I was safe in Will’s apartment building. Now I was going to have to admit to him that he was right, but not without a little fun first. I ran my hands through my hair, messing it up and trying my best to make it look like “just fucked” hair. I silently giggled as I unlocked the door. Scene 1, take 1, and…action!

  “Hey, what brings you back so early?” I didn’t try to hide the happiness in my voice as Gabby entered the kitchen.

  She was grinning from ear to ear as she walked over to the drawer and took out a spoon. “Well, how long do you think it takes?” she asked, sticking her spoon into the bowl of ice cream that I was eating.

  “How long does what take?”

  She raised her eyebrow at me. “S - E - X.” I could feel the ice cream that I had just swallowed churning in my stomach. “Oh, and just for the record, he doesn’t recite his math facts beforehand.” She smirked.

  I was speechless. I couldn’t believe that she actually went through with it. That guy was so not worthy of her. She took off her coat and went into the living room. I followed behind her, trying my best to hide my laughter when I noticed that her shirt was still on inside out. I had noticed the tag when she had whisked past me to answer the door earlier, but being the nice guy that I was, I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of her date. I figured what would it hurt if she went out with her shirt on inside out? I found it hard to believe that she had sex and put her shirt on the same way again. She was totally playing me so I was going to play right along with her. I sat down beside her on the couch. “So, give me details.” I had to bite my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing at the stunned look that stretched across her face.

  “What!? No, I’m not giving you details.”

  “Why not?”

  “Umm, because I’m just not!” she said, picking up the remote, nervously flicking through the channels.

  “Well, I know one thing. He must not be much of a boob man.”

  “Why?” she asked, crinkling her forehead.

  “Because you obviously didn’t take off your shirt.”

  “Umm…yeah, I did, if you must know!” she replied with an overly animated jerk of her head.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, really!”

  “Oh, so I guess the shirt you have on is meant to be worn inside out then? Because it was inside out when you left, too.”

  Her jaw and head dropped as she looked down at her shirt. I couldn’t contain my laughter. “Will! You let me walk out of here with my shirt on inside out?!”

  I held my hand up in defense. “Well, I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of Eugene.” She pushed me back on the couch and was no longer able to hold back her own laughter. She began to tell me all about her failed date, and I did my best to try and not seem happy about it.

  “Go ahead, have at it!” she said.

  “Have at what?”

  “Telling me ‘I told you so’.”

  “Now, Gabby, I would never do that to you.” I busted out with laughter once again.

  “That’s okay. You won’t be laughing when I become a lonely old cat lady. I’m going to start collecting one cat for each year that I don’t have sex. At this rate, I’ll have twenty-nine by the time I’m sixty.”

  “Gabby, you kill me!” She sighed heavily. “Movie?” I asked.

  “Sure. I just want to get into my pajamas,” she said, standing up from the couch and sounding a little defeated.

  “Hey, Gabby?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I don’t think you’ll have twenty-nine cats. Twenty, maybe, but not twenty-nine.”

  She picked up the pillow from the couch and tossed it at me. “You’re such an ass!” she smirked.

  “That’s my girl!”

  I looked over at Gabby and was surprised to find her still awake as the credits rolled up the screen. It felt like it had been so long since we had hung out like this and I missed it. “So, what else is going on with you, Gabby girl? I feel like I haven’t talked to you in ages.”

  She leaned her head on the back of the couch and turned on her side to face me. “Well, Witchy Poo…I mean, my mother came to my work yesterday and begged me to come to her Christmas party tomorrow night.” Even through her sarcasm, I could still hear a little hope in her voice.

  “So what did you tell her?”

  “I didn’t. I told her I would try to make it. She says she wants to try and work on our relationship. I don’t want to hate my mom and I want to believe it so bad, but I’ve heard it all before,” she sighed.

  I raised my eyebrows at her. “Well, that’s a choice that only you can make. Gabby.”

  “Yeah, I know.” She bit her bottom lip and stared off into space before a deep grin stretched across her face. “You were invited, too.”

  “When is it? Tomorrow?” She nodded. “Oh shit, I would go with you, but I got Kroger’s bachelor party.”


  “Don’t be silly, Will. I don’t expect you to go. I just think the mere thought of you attending with all of those uppity assholes is hysterical.”

  “Well, I would. I can cancel on the guy’s if -.”

  She placed her warm, soft hand on top of mine, rubbing her thumb over my knuckles. Her eyes lit up with emotion and the most beautiful smile appeared on her face. “I know you would and I appreciate it very much. But if I decide to do this, I have to do it on my own.”

  I pushed her hair from her face and pressed my forehead to hers. “Well, if you decide to go and if you change your mind about needing someone to go with you, I’m here.”

  She closed her eyes and nodded. I would always be here for her whenever or whatever she needed me for. I would be here forever for my sweet little Gabby girl.

  “Oh, my god! Oh, my god…Will!” Gabby exclaimed as she stood by my bed and nudged me.

  I shot up from a dead sleep, rubbing my eyes. “What’s the matter?!”

  “I got up to go pee and when I turned on my bedroom light, a mouse ran under my bed!”

  I sighed heavily and laid back down, relieved that’s all it was. The way she was acting, I thought that someone broke in and attacked her. “I’ll get traps tomorrow.” I yawned and closed my eyes.

  “Will!” she cried, still standing over top of my bed.

  “What?”

  “I can’t sleep in there with a mouse!”

  I was so damn tired, all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go back to bed. “Gabby, it will be fine. He won’t hurt you.” I closed my eyes again, hoping that would calm her down.