Vision of Hope

by S. Moose

  "Come on, beautiful." I pass her the bottle of wine and take her hand. We walk out of my house together and I open the door for her. She slides in and, when I get in the car, she leans over and kisses my cheek.

  My fingers entwine with hers. As we get closer to Nicholas and Karly's house, I see a car I don't recognize and my hand clenches the steering wheel. My phone vibrates and Fallyn picks it up.

  "It's from Karly."

  "Open the text."

  "Lisa's here. I didn't know she was coming. Nicholas is pissed, but Stephen doesn't know what happened the last time she was in town. Do you want me to get her to leave?"

  I look at Fallyn and her eyes meet mine. "I'll do whatever you want."

  She shakes her head. "No, it's fine. I'm not afraid to be near her. I'm kinda upset that Stephen didn't tell us, though." Just as she finishes talking, her phone goes off along with mine. "It's Stephen. He said he's sorry that Lisa's over and he should've told her not to come along."

  "Well, if you're okay with going, then we'll go. Just please don't let her words hurt you."

  "I won't." She squeezes my hand and I park behind Stephen, ready to key his car.

  We walk up the driveway and around to the back where the party is being held. Nicholas and Larry are at the grill and the girls are relaxing by the pool. Lisa's next to Stephen and his back is to us. It looks like he's talking to her and her head is down.

  "Hey, guys," I announce, setting down the plate and taking the wine from Fallyn.

  "Hey," the group says. Fallyn tugs on my arm and nods her head to where Lexi and Karly are.

  I watch her walk over, pass Lisa, and sit down with them. Lisa's eyes find Fallyn and the daggers coming from her pisses me the fuck off.

  "Stephen." I walk to him. "Hi, Lisa."

  "Hey." She tries to hug me, but Stephen looks at her and she stops. "Good to see you."

  "You too."

  "Hey, man did you get my text?" I nod. "Alright. Let's grab a beer. Lisa, remember what I said."

  "Okay," she says, looking at us, then towards the pool.

  Stephen and I walk over to the grill and Larry hands me a shot. "You look like you need this, brother."

  "You don't fucking know," I seethe and down the shot. "What the fuck is your sister doing here?"

  "Man, I don't know. She's not supposed to be home until tomorrow, but she said she wanted to come home and she's here."

  "There better not be any drama today, Stephen. I love you like a brother, but if I hear anything negative from her, she's out."

  "I talked to her and she gets it," Stephen explains. "It'll be fine."

  We talk about sports and work for a little before Lexi comes over to us. "You're not gonna be here for Thanksgiving?" She pouts.

  "Huh?"

  "Fallyn just told us she bought the both of you plane tickets to Montana. She said you're having Thanksgiving with Brody's family." I look up and find her looking at me. I should be upset that we didn't talk about Thanksgiving, but given the circumstances, she probably said that to let Lisa know to back off.

  "Yeah, I am heading there. Sorry for not saying anything."

  The day goes by without any problems. We sit down and have dinner and I wonder where Emma and Sebastian are.

  "With Nicholas' parents. They wanted them for the day so we said yes!" Karly laughs. "I love my kids, but oh my God, sometimes I need a break."

  "Where's Kayden?" Lisa asks Lexi.

  "With my parents too," Lexi answers matter-of-factly. "One night without Kayden will be heavenly."

  "My son hates me," Larry says. "Every time I kiss Lexi or even come near her, he screams and throws a tantrum. How can a baby do that?"

  The table erupts with laughing and nodding of agreement. I look at Fallyn and instantly see a baby bump on her. I have no idea where the fuck that image came from, but I'm okay with seeing her pregnant with my child. Maybe children.

  "So, Fallyn, you look good. Have you been working out?"

  All eyes are on Lisa. What the fuck is she doing?

  Confidently, Fallyn answers her. "Sure am, Lisa. I've been working out with Jensen."

  "What kind of question is that?" Karly snarls at Lisa.

  "I was just asking, jeez. I didn't mean anything by that."

  Stephen leans into Lisa and whispers something to her. I watch her reaction and then turn my head to Fallyn.

  "Are you okay?"

  She nods. "Yeah. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Montana. I hope that's okay?"

  I kiss the tip of her nose. "Of course, baby. I'm excited to come with you."

  "Me too." She smiles and continues her conversation with the group.

  * * * * *

  Putting down a book I've been reading, I glance down at the incredible and sexy girl sleeping. I smile as I look at her.

  Even though we've only been together for a short while, she's everything to me. Does that sound crazy? The way she makes me feel is different. Even with a broken heart, she didn't look the other way. She helped me through it and made me realize what love is. The idea of not being with her kills me. The idea of making her cry or disappointing her kills me. I'm whole again and it's because of Fallyn.

  Turning off the light, I slide down and pull her against my body. She fits perfectly in my arms. Stroking her arm, lightly kissing the side of her head, I smile, thinking about making love to her. With her, it's not about fucking, but cherishing each other, memorizing each other, and making love. It wasn't rushed or hurried. I took my time making sure she fell apart while I was inside of her more than once. Hearing her moan my name, telling me how I made her feel, feeling her heartbeat against mine; in that moment, I fell in love with her. She's the air I breathe and all I want to do is take her in my arms and hold her forever.

  "Jensen," she moans, taking my dick in her hands. Fuck, it feels good having her hand on me, stroking me up and down.

  "Right here, baby. Right here."

  She turns around, staring into my eyes while holding my dick tightly in her hand. Her soft hand feels fucking amazing. Pulling her on top of me, I help her slide down on me. I know we're both tired, but fuck, do I need her.

  "Jensen," she moans, rocking back and forth. "This feels so good."

  My hands touch her stomach and travel up to her breasts. Her body shudders against my touch. She rocks against me and I push her back a little. I rub her clit with my fingers and watch her throw her head back. Fuck, she's going to make me come soon.

  The smell of her arousal hits me. I grab her hips, pumping into her fast and hard. Shit, this feels so good. "Fuck," I cry out as her muscles tighten around my dick. Feeling her, all of her, pushes my heart to the limits. When our bodies touch, a charge of life rushes through. It makes me lose control and I don't know how to breathe. I forget the basics when she's around.

  Fallyn loses herself. She throws her head back, moaning and screaming for me to fuck her harder. Watching her fall apart sends me over the edge. I spill inside her and bring her lips to mine. "You're so beautiful," I whisper against her lips. "And you're mine."

  She laughs and pushes herself off me. "Wow, that was amazing. But can we please sleep!"

  “Fine.” We kiss each other goodnight and I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close to my chest. “Sweet dreams, baby.”

  Waking up the next morning with her in my arms is something I’m never going to get used to. The simple act of holding her through the night, watching her sleep and hearing her breathing leaves me feeling speechless. The love I have for Fallyn is something I never felt, not even with Lisa. I want to tell her what’s in my heart and to be honest I want to know if she’s feeling the same way. Part of me is scared, while the other part is screaming for me to stop being a pussy and man the fuck up.

  When her eyes open, she sees me looking at her and the sexiest grin comes on her face.

  “I love waking up next to you. Can we do this forever and ever?”

  Now Jensen. Now.

  “If that’s wha
t you want, then that’s what will happen.”

  “Yeah?” Her eyes light up and she kisses the tip of my nose.

  Man the fuck up you damn pussy.

  I sweep her hair from her eyes and meet her lips with mine. So gently I kiss her and place my hand on her cheek. “I love you, Fallyn.” The words I’ve been holding onto easily slip from my lips. I’m afraid to look at her. I don’t want her to run or leave me.

  Pulling back I don’t see fear or anger. The look on her face is priceless and I realize that taking this next step with her is a good thing. She shows me love and a smile on her face lets me know she’s feeling the same way. “I love you too, Jensen.”

  “Thank you for being my best friend and helping me through the obstacles. Realizing I love you and hearing you say it back to me means the world to me. I know I sound extremely sappy now,” she laughs, “But I mean it. Having you in my life means more to me than you’ll ever know.”

  She touches my face and places her head on my chest. “I do know.”

  Pouring coffee for both of us, I adjust my tie, waiting for her to come out of the bedroom so we can head in to work together. My phone vibrates on the table. I pick it up and close my eyes, turning my head away.

  "Is it Lisa?"

  "Yeah, baby, it is."

  Fallyn comes on the other side of the counter and picks up her cup of coffee. She takes a few sips, sighs, and looks at me. "Talk to her. She obviously needs you."

  "I don't care what she needs." I place my hands on her shoulders, "She doesn't matter to me anymore. You matter to me."

  "I know." She smiles. "And that's why I'm okay with you talking to her. She's probably not in a good place with everyone turning their backs on her. It's okay, babe." She kisses my cheek and walks out of the kitchen.

  I know that she's telling me it's okay to talk to Lisa and be there for her. I get that she trusts me and it's nice, but I know what I have to do. Lisa isn't going to get in the middle of me and Fallyn. I know what she's trying to do and it won't work. She has Stephen. If she needs someone, she can go to him. Thinking about her pisses me off. She has no right to be in my head. She messed up and gave up what could have been. I need to be a better man and stop letting her come into my head. I'm about to throw my phone across the room and change my number when I see her smiling face and I'm calm. My breathing is back to normal and my heart slows down.

  I'm not going to fuck this up with her. She deserves the world and all of me. I watch her get ready, feeling comfortable in my home. I think about the possibilities of the next step. She shares her house with Isaac, so I wonder if it'll be a problem to have her come live with me.

  "Ready?"

  I look up and see her by the front door. "Ready, babe."

  * * * * *

  The day goes by slower than it should. Fallyn's busy on her floor today, so we can't meet for lunch. After a few meetings this afternoon, I'm ready to head home. Finishing my last email I hear the door open and I hope it’s Fallyn.

  "Babe, I'll be done soon and then we can head out."

  "Jensen." Her voice hits my ears, causing everything to stop. "I need to talk to you."

  I take a deep breath and turn to look at her. "What, Lisa?"

  Her lips start moving, but all I can think about is Fallyn. What will she think if she walks in and sees Lisa in my office? I don't want to give her the wrong impression.

  "Are you even listening to me?"

  I look up. "I'm sorry. What are you saying?"

  "Are you waiting for someone?"

  "I am. My girlfriend."

  "You don't have to be nasty about it, Jensen." When she says my name, I cringe. I'm about to tell her to leave when I see tears in her eyes. I should go to her and comfort her, then I see Fallyn's face. She's healing and moving on with me. I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to mess this up.

  I stay at my desk, staring at her as she cries. I'm not going to fall for the games she's playing. She's unpredictable and I don't want to be caught up in her web of drama. This lasts for a few minutes. She doesn't look at me and keeps her head in her hands. Her shoulders tremble, but I stay at my desk. All I want is for her to leave so I can go back to the woman I love.

  "I'm sorry, Jensen. If I could turn back time, I would," she says quietly, still crying and not able to look at me. "I know that you've moved on and you seem like you're doing well. It's just I can't let you go. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life. I know that the last time you saw me, we fought. I'm trying so hard to move on and be happy. If you can, I can too, right?" I don't respond. "I wish I realized what I had when we were together. God, Jensen. If only I could turn back time and go back to a few months ago. I still love you so much. Do you still love me?"

  The question hits me. Lisa's going to be part of me for a while. I'm not that heartless, but the love of my life is waiting for me and I've made her wait for too long. I never thought I'd fall for someone this fast and hard. I never thought I'd call someone the love of my life when we've together for a few short months. But Fallyn is it for me. She's the one I want to be with and she's the one who'll grow old with me. One day, we'll be holding hands, sitting on the porch, watching our great grandkids playing in the yard. The sun will be setting and we'll call everyone to come inside. Our kids and their kids will be in the house, setting the dinner table. We'll look at our family and smile because it's been a great life.

  "I can give you what you want now, Jensen. Before, I was selfish and wanted you all to myself. But I'll come back home and we'll be together. I can change. I can be the girl you fell in love with."

  "But you can't. I've moved on, Lisa. This is something you'll have to accept. I love her and she deserves me to be honest and real. I'm not doing this with you. Please leave."

  "I can't. I don't want to. I want us to try. Listen, I'm home for Thanksgiving break. Will I at least see you?"

  ”No. I’m going away with Fallyn.” I love the idea of how strong she is and inviting me with her. I know this is a big step for her, letting me all the way in and introducing me to the other half of her life.

  "Jensen! Can I please have your attention?"

  "I'm sorry, Lisa."

  "Please give us another chance. I'll be better. You don't throw away a love like ours."

  "Exactly; you don't and you did. I did love you, Lisa, and I would have done anything for you, but when I started falling for Fallyn, something came alive in me. She makes it better. When I'm with her, all I can see is her. My heart beats for her and, when I think about my future, I think about her. You and I had our chance and a love that was great, but this is true love. This is the type of love you want forever. And Fallyn is my forever."

  Lisa straightens her back and rolls her eyes. "Whatever. You'll come back to me and when you do, I'll make you beg me to come back. She's nothing and you'll realize that. Plus, since when do you like fat girls?"

  Red. I see red. "Lisa, out of respect for Stephen, I'm not going to lose my shit on you. But you do not talk about Fallyn like that. Get out, Lisa. Now."

  She gets up from the chair. "What?"

  "Now. Lisa, get out. I need to leave and you need to get out of my office and do not come back. Do I make myself clear?"

  Lisa huffs and rushes out of my office. I rub my eyes and let out a groan. When I open my eyes, I can't help the smile that forms on my face.

  "I’m sorry that you have to deal with her."

  "Don’t be." I shake my head. "I want you to understand that what she says means nothing to me and it shouldn’t hurt you." Picking up my briefcase, I round the corner of my desk and take this beautiful woman in my arms.

  Her head rests on my chest and holds me tight. "I know."

  Chapter 28

  Fallyn

  Jensen's away at a medical conference, and I'm not going to lie, but it feels good to have some me time for a few days.

  Getting comfortable on my couch, I press play on my remote and my favorite show, Suits, comes on. Honestly, the
re's something about men in suits that makes me melt and go stupid. A well-tailored suit on a handsome man makes him that much sexier. Especially with a tie; definite panty dropper.

  Twenty minutes into the episode I'm watching, the doorbell rings. I pause the show and walk to the door, hating whoever is ruining this moment.

  "Girls night!" Lexi and Karly shout. They're holding bags of food and wine.

  "Come on in." I smile, leading them in and shutting the door. "What made you want to come over?"

  "Nicholas said that Jensen's out of town, so we thought it would be fun to get together. You know, see how you're doing and what's going on."

  "Pretty much we wanna know what's up with you and Jensen," Lexi adds.

  "Exactly." Karly gives me a smile and sits on the barstool at the island. I reach in the cabinets and grab three wine glasses. "So what's going on between you and Jensen?"

  I pop the cork out of the wine bottle and pour everyone a glass. Taking a few sips of my wine, I look at Lexi and Karly and think about what I want to tell them. "We're dating. He's amazing and we're in love." Saying this aloud to my friends, I don’t know, it feels so good.

  "Love!" Karly shrieks. "What?"

  "That's so sweet," Lexi says, tipping her glass of wine to me and taking a drink.

  "I'm really happy. I didn’t think I would be able to move on, but I am. He listens to me and pushes me. We help each other."

  "Wait, then, who was that guy on your phone? Remember when we went to the cafe?"

  My chest tightens. I've talked to Jensen about Brody and he listened. It was nice to talk about him and tell him about the love we shared. It's still hard thinking about his death. With the holidays around the corner, I'm not sure what to do. I'm supposed to go to Montana and be with Isaac and his parents. Part of me wants to go and the other part is completely shattered. Going back to the place that holds all of our memories, causing the aches in my body to explode. Wincing at the thought, I droop my shoulders when I look at Karly and Lexi. I take another step forward and tell my two best friends about Brody.

  When I'm done talking, they're both crying and hugging me, holding me in their arms. I'm crying with them. My nose is runny and my throat is sore. I clear my throat and wipe my tears, looking at them again.