Alive (Mended Hearts #1)

by Beth Maria

  “I hope you’ve come here to bring me my money,” he slurs, coming around the corner. He looks a state, worse than when I saw him a month ago. I don’t even know how that’s possible. He must weigh just over a hundred pounds now. Long, greasy hair frames his withdrawn face, which I’m surprised I can see with the beard he’s sporting. Apparently, I looked the spitting image of Drew when I was younger, just with my mother’s eyes. Drew’s are blue, not brown.

  “I came to give you some of my money, so you will leave my mom alone. I’ve told you not to pester her, and in return, I keep your habit fed. Don’t call her again, Drew.” My voice sounds deadly even to my own ears. That’s the effect he has on me.

  “I’d leave your mom alone if you brought the money on time. You’re a day late.” I hardly understand what he’s saying because he’s slurring so bad. He leans against the wall, arms crossed, trying to focus on me.

  “I’ve brought you the money now, haven’t I?” I throw the money down onto the sticky coffee table.

  “Good. How is your mother anyway? She still a dirty whore?” he asks, laughing. I clench my fists. I won’t hit him. I’m nothing like him.

  “You have no right to talk about her. Don’t even think about her,” I hiss through clenched teeth.

  He’s still laughing. “She always was a good for nothing slut. The only reason I married her was because of you. I didn’t want my first born being a bastard child. I told her to get rid of you. She wouldn’t listen, though, the stupid slut.” I feel my temper rising with his every word. Why do I still give him money? Oh yeah, because he will go to Mom otherwise. Fuck sake. “I didn’t want you. I didn’t want to give my life up and have a child with her. She was only good for one thing, and she wasn’t even good at that. You and that stupid whore made me who I am today. It’s all your fault, which is why you pay for my habit. It’s the least you owe me, you worthless piece of shit.” He’s spitting by the end of that. Wound him up thinking about his past, did it? Why can’t he ever take the blame for the mistakes that he’s made? My mom loved him with everything she had, though; I’ve never been able to understand why.

  I’ve had enough of his shit now.

  “Shut the fuck up, Drew. You fucked yourself up, nobody else, so start realizing that. I’m done here. This is the last bit of money you’re getting from me ever again. Clean yourself up and go get a job like normal people. And don’t even think about going to see my mom for money, or it will be the last thing you’ll ever do.” I’m getting out of here before I do something I probably won’t regret, but he isn’t worth the jail time.

  I’m at the door when something hits the back of my head. A beer can. Typical. I stand still, trying to calm down. “I’ll see you soon, Jesse.” With that, I leave.

  What my mom saw in that, I don’t think I will ever know. I just hope I don’t end up like him. He always tells me I’m more like him than I think. It’s true. I am like him. Where women are considered, it’s true. But I will never become an alcoholic, throwing away everything good in my life. All I have to make sure is that women don’t come between me and Maisie. That will be the ultimate test. My dad failed, but I’m not going to end up like him if I have anything to do with it.

  Driving away on my bike, I’m glad to see the back of the trailer park. I have more important things to do now. I have to make sure Mom is alright, and then I need phone my beautiful lady.

  ****

  The lights are off when I pull up outside my house ten minutes later. Not a good sign.

  I run into the house and sprint up the stairs. That’s where she usually is when Dad calls.

  “Mom?” I ask, stepping into her room. Nobody replies. “Mom, are you in here?” I ask again. Come on. Answer. A sniffle answers in response. My head snaps in the direction of her closet. There it is again. Running over, I pull the doors open, my eyes landing on my mom curled up in a ball, looking a wreck. I bend down and pull her into my lap as I rub her hair. “Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you now. Nothing is going to happen to you.” She doesn’t reply, just carries on crying. Fuck! I hate my dad for still affecting her this much. “It’s okay. I’ve got you,” I reply over and over again, until she calms down.

  It takes half an hour to calm her down fully. This is one of the quicker times. Sometimes it takes hours. I don’t ask where she goes when she’s in this state. I already know. Bringing it back up will just cause another episode. I made that mistake once before. Never again.

  Leaning back, I look at my mom. “Come on. Let’s go downstairs. I’ll make you a coffee.” I stand and pull her up with me.

  Downstairs, I make the coffees then sit down opposite her at the table. My usually well kept mom is currently a mess of tangled hair and running make-up. It’s painful to see her looking like this. I love my mom more than anyone. There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for this woman; the woman who brought me up, trying to give me everything I needed, even if she didn’t have the money as Drew would take it all. If she had to work an extra job, then she would just to provide for me. That asshole sure didn’t. It was left up to my mom to provide for all three of us. I will be forever in her debt.

  “I’ve got something to tell you, Mom.” I know this revelation will make her happy. It’s all I’ve got at the moment, and even though I didn’t want to tell her yet, I have no choice. I need to see that beautiful smile back on her face.

  “What is it, sweetheart?” she asks, her voice cracking from all the crying.

  “I’ve finally got a girlfriend. She’s amazing, Mom. You’ll love her,” I say, a smile taking over my face just at the thought of Maisie. She’s already making me act like a lovesick fool.

  “Oh, Jesse, that’s wonderful. I’m glad you’ve finally found someone. I was getting worried that you never would.” Her eyes cloud over, probably thinking that it’s her fault that I’m the way I am. I need to stop her thought train fast.

  “Hey, stop that right now. Stop your thoughts from going down that route. It’s no one’s fault but mine for the choices I’ve made in the past. If it’s anyone else’s fault, it’s Drew's. I thought that because it’s in my DNA, that I would end up like him. Somewhere in my brain, I still do, but Maisie is amazing, Mom. I think she’s the one. I mean, I’ve only known her for a few weeks, but no girl has ever grabbed my attention for more than a few days, let alone made me feel this way. For her, I want to be a better man. I’m trying, Mom. God, I’m really trying. I just hope I don’t end up hurting her. She’s been hurt enough as it is.” My mom’s eyes gloss over, and panic spreads through my body. “Did I say something wrong?” I ask quickly.

  She shakes her head. “No, darling, you didn’t say anything wrong. I’m just so proud of you right now. I have faith that you won’t end up hurting her. You’re protective of the people you love. You won’t let any harm come to her, even from yourself. You’re nothing like your dad, Jesse. I just wish you would start realizing this. You are the kindest man I know, even if you haven’t always treated the ladies right. But to your friends and family, you are the most thoughtful and kindest man. I’m proud to call you my son. Every day, you make me proud, and I’m sorry that you have to deal with my silliness.” I’m about to reply when she holds her finger up, asking me to hold on a second. So I do. She’s obviously thinking about something. She gasps, scaring the ever living shit out of me.

  “Fuck, Mom! You scared me to death.”

  “Language, Jesse. You were with her today, weren’t you?” She looks at me expectantly. I can’t lie to her. She always knows.

  “Yeah,” I say with a sigh.

  “Oh, Jesse, why didn’t you tell me? I would have dealt with this myself,” she says, getting flustered.

  “Mom, it’s okay. You know I’ll always come to you if you need me. You’re my number one priority,” I reply honestly.

  She shakes her head in disgust at me. “No, Jesse. I was your number one priority. You have someone else to give your attention to now. I won’t jeopardize your relationship. You
’re happiness is far more important to me. Don’t be doing that again, okay? If I call you, just tell me that you’re with her. I will be fine,” she says adamantly. There’s no point arguing about it because she won’t listen. I just nod my head. I will never stop being there for my mom. I’d never forgive myself if something bad were to happen to her. “So when am I going to get to meet her? Maisie is it?” she asks.

  “Yes, her name’s Maisie. We’ve only been together since yesterday, but it feels right, you know?” She nods in understanding. “Maybe next week, though. I have to ask her first.”

  “Oh, yes, of course. Well, just let me know. I’ll cook us something for dinner,” she says, a warm smile on her face.

  “I will, Mom,” I reply, smiling at her.

  “Do you want dinner? It’s getting late, and I’m sure you’re hungry. Let me see what we have that’s quick and easy.” She gets up from the table, making her way over to the freezer.

  “Mom, do you just want to get take-out? It’ll save on washing up, and it’s easier.”

  “Yes, okay. Chinese okay?” she asks, pulling out the menus from the cupboard.

  “Chinese sounds great. You order. I’m just going to call Maisie. I said I would call her tonight.”

  “Okay. I’ll call you when it’s here.”

  Lying on my bed, I dial Maisie’s number, waiting expectantly to hear her voice.

  “Hi,” she answers. My stress from the last few hours instantly disappears at the sound of her voice.

  “Hi. You okay?”

  “I am now. You?” she breathes into the phone.

  “I am now.” Maisie’s like my stress release, and she doesn’t even know it.

  “Was everything okay in the end? I was worried about you.” The last thing I want is for her to be worried about me. I bet she’s been going crazy, getting herself worked up, wondering what is happening. I need to make it up to her.

  “Everything is fine. I just had some family business to sort out. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big boy, remember.” She laughs her magical laugh down the phone, and my stomach does somersaults from the sound.

  “I wouldn’t know,” she says cheekily. It makes me laugh.

  “You will one day, baby. You just wait. You won’t know what’s hit you,” I drawl down the phone, earning a gasp. Oh yeah, she’s speechless. One nil to me.

  “You are so cocky, Jesse. It’s unreal. And who’s to say I want to see it one day?”

  “Touché, my little firecracker. However, I guarantee you will sooner or later. I’m hoping for sooner. I’m not going to lie. After today’s little taster, I can’t wait for the full package experience.” Maisie gasps again, and I just laugh. I love winding her up.

  “For that, you’re never getting the full package experience,” she states matter-of-factly.

  “I’m joking. I said I’d wait however long it takes until you’re ready, and I meant it, Maisie. I’ll wait forever if I have to,” I say honestly. And I would. Even if I die before I get a taste of her, I’ll die a happy man because I got to spend time with the most amazing woman. And she’s all mine.

  “Thank you, Jesse. It means a lot,” she replies solemnly.

  For the next half hour, we talk about everything and anything. We never run out of conversation. It flows easily. We laugh a lot and even have a few serious conversations.

  I hear my mom shout that dinner’s here, reminding me that I have to ask Maisie. “I told my mom about you. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Of course not. What did she say?” Just come straight out with it. The worst she can say is no, right?

  “She’s over the moon, actually. She didn’t think I’d ever get a girlfriend.” She laughs at that. I knew she would. “She wants to meet you.”

  “When?”

  “Next week. You don’t have to if you’re not ready. I just thought I’d ask.” I hold my breath waiting for her reply.

  “I’d love to.” I release the breath I had been holding. Thank God she agreed. Mom is going to be so happy. Now, I get to let my two favorite ladies meet each other.

  “Great. I’ll let Mom know. She said she’ll cook something for dinner, so make sure you don’t eat after lunch. She makes big portions.”

  “Ok. I’ll let you go then. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Night, Jesse.”

  “Sweet dreams, Maisie.” I disconnect the call and look up at the ceiling. I miss hearing her voice already. I’m falling for her hard, but right now, I don’t even care because I’m happy, all thanks to the beautiful, little Maisie.

  “Jesse? Dinner’s getting cold,” Mom shouts again. I better go and tell my mom the good news. She’s going to be ecstatic.

  Chapter 10

  Maisie

  I’ve been in a relationship with Jesse for a week now. It’s been the best week of my life. We’ve been hanging out, going down to the beach, or sometimes he comes back here and we watch a movie. Jesse and Chloe get along, which is a bonus. Chloe never used to really like Matt, just put up with him for my sake. Jesse and Jake were already friends, so I didn’t have to worry about that. Jake gave him the big brother talk, which I expected would happen. I laughed in Jake’s face when he said he would hunt Jesse down and beat the ever living shit out of him. Jake wouldn’t stand a chance against him, but I appreciate his concern for me. I really do.

  Today is the day I’ve been dreading for the last week. I’m meeting Jesse’s mum. I know I told him I was fine with it, and I am. However, we’ve only been together for a week. I didn’t meet Matt’s mom until we had been dating for three months. This is pretty fast for me, but it means a lot to Jesse. For him, I would do anything.

  My clothes are thrown across my bed, and I’m standing next to it, getting frustrated. I don’t have a clue what to wear. Nothing I have seems good enough for meeting Jesse’s mom. Where’s Chloe when I need her? She’s good at this sort of thing. She would have an outfit picked out in minutes. Me? I’ve been staring at my clothes for the past twenty minutes and still haven’t come to a decision. I’m going to have to cancel if I can’t put something together in the next ten minutes. Jesse’s picking me up in an hour, and I still have to shower. Today is not my day, it seems!

  “Fuck sake!” I scream out loud.

  “For all that is holy, what on earth are you screaming about?” Chloe asks as she comes through the door.

  “Thank God you’re here. I’m having a disaster,” I say irately.

  “Why are your clothes all over your bed? You having a clear out, because there may be a few things I want to pinch if you are.” At this rate, she can have all of my clothes.

  “No, I’m not having a clear out. I’m meeting Jesse’s mom today, and I have nothing to wear. I’m going to have to cancel,” I say, throwing my arms out to the side in frustration. She just laughs at me, so I crunch my eyes at her, letting her know that I’m not amused.

  “Okay. You’re not going to cancel. I’ll help you. Let me see what you have.” She stands next to me, looking down at the options. “Well, you can’t wear this or this,” she says, throwing some of my old sweaters and jeans on the floor.

  “See… I have nothing to wear. What am I going to do, Chloe?” I whine, putting my head in my hands.

  “Oh, stop being so dramatic. You have tons of clothes. Plus, if you don’t want to wear anything here, you can always borrow something of mine,” she replies, lifting her eyebrows at me. Why didn’t I think of that? We’ve always shared clothes. I blame it on the nerves. It’s making me lose my mind.

  “Thank you. Can I see what you have?”

  “Of course.”

  I spend the next ten minutes looking through her clothes and trying to find something to wear. In the end, we decide on a simple white sundress that has a daisy pattern and my blue Mary Janes. It’s perfect.

  “You’re a life saver, Chloe. What would I do without you?” I ask, giving her a hug. I truly would be lost without her by my side.

  “Be half of the person that y
ou are now,” she says, laughing.

  Laughing too, I say, “Probably. Okay, I’ve got to jump in the shower. I’ll see you in ten.” I make my way to the bathroom, get undressed, and jump into the shower.

  I’m out and ready within twenty minutes. That’s a record, I’m sure. Checking the time, I see that I have thirty minutes until Jesse picks me up. I’d rather just get this over and done with, as my nerves are building up, but they probably aren’t ready for me yet. I need something to keep my mind off of it, and I know the perfect thing. Chloe is lying on her bed, texting Evan probably. I’ll ask how that’s going. “So… How are you and Evan?” Chloe looks up from her cell, a confused look on her face.

  “Huh?” she asks, sitting up and putting her cell down on the bed.

  “I asked, how are you and Evan?”

  “Oh, yeah, we’re good,” she replies vaguely, shrugging her shoulders. That doesn’t sound good.

  “Just good? You don’t seem too happy to talk about it,” I say, trying to dig for information. Hopefully she’ll give me some. Chloe is usually quite secretive and likes to keep things to herself, and usually I don’t push because she always tells me eventually, but this is different. I don’t think she’s happy. She’s just lying to herself that she is to take her mind off of Jake.

  “What do you want me to say, Maisie?” she asks defensively. “Does he make me happy? Yes. Do we have a laugh together? Yes. But do I see him as a long-term boyfriend? No, I don’t think I do, and you know why. Your fucking brother won’t get out of my Goddamn head. I just want to feel loved and be happy. Evan gives me that, Maisie. Is it so wrong for me to be happy for once?” Tears well up in her eyes until she’s crying. Dammit, Jake. I knew this would happen. I knew one of them would get hurt eventually, and it seems that it’s Chloe. She puts on a tough image, but she’s not. She’s not tough at all, and it breaks my heart because I can’t do a damn thing about it. I can’t tell my brother to pull his head out of his ass and sort his act out. He’s nineteen, for crying out loud. And the sad thing? I don’t think he will realize what he could have had until it’s too late. Chloe won’t wait around forever; she’s making that clear now, but she’s doing it the wrong way, settling for second best when she deserves the best.