Julie Seedorf - Fuschia Minnesota 01 - Granny Hooks A Crook

by Julie Seedorf

  Big Guy whispered to Granny. “Granny, there’s no one to arrest. Would you mind explaining this mess?”

  “Well, there was someone. He was young and good looking and he was watching me.”

  “Did you see him trying to steal anything?”

  “Well no,” Granny answered slowly, “But I knew he was going to.” Slowly Granny started backing out of the store.

  “I have an appointment at Ella’s Enchanted Forest and I can’t be late.” Granny hustled faster so the Big Guy couldn’t protest.

  Was she imagining this good looking young man always watching her? She couldn’t be. He sounded exactly like the mailman sitting in front of her house. Granny decided she’d check with the post office later in the day to see if she had a new mailman.

  Cornelius aka the Big Guy, watched Granny limp out the door using her umbrella as a cane. “Justine, did you see the young man that Granny was referring to?”

  “No, all I saw was the umbrella with its spikes heading towards my head. I was afraid I was going to end up with more holes in my body besides just my ears when I saw that umbrella spinning. Granny spins a mean umbrella.”

  Cornelius turned back to the door thoughtfully. Perhaps he should keep a better eye on Granny. Maybe it was time for her to retire.

  When Granny walked in to the Enchanted Forest, Franklin was waiting for her with fresh donuts on the table, a latte for him in one hand, and one for her in the other. He winked at Granny as she sat down.

  “Busy morning, Granny?”

  “You might say that. How are Furball and Tank?” I missed them last night after you left.”

  “Itsy and Bitsy are fine and so are your Fish and your little white poodle.”

  Granny screwed up her eyes and squinted at him. “And you know this how?”

  “I fed them Beef and Chicken tidbits for breakfast this morning at my house.”

  “They were at your house? They aren’t supposed to have Beef and Chicken. They are supposed to have Tofu and Yogurt and vegetables. You want to kill them with that unhealthy meat?”

  Franklin ignored Granny’s censure about the food and got straight to the point. “The point being, what are we going to do about this situation between Itsy, Bitsy, Fish and little white poodle?”

  Granny stood up. “I don’t see that we have a situation and it’s Furball and Tank. It’s time you gave those creatures respectable names. It will give them courage. Friday night! Dinner! You let me know when and where and I’ll be there,” Granny chuckled at the rhyme and walked out the door to continue her investigation. She only had so much time before that pesky Gram would show up.

  Franklin watched Granny walk out the door and down the street. He wondered if he should follow her. She intrigued him with her strange ways.

  Franklin Jester Gatsby wasn’t sure he was up to any more drama. That was why he had left New York City and come to Fuchsia. He wanted a quiet life with no drama. He missed his wife. She’d been a quiet influence in his life. His wife had been so different than his mother. Granny was so much like his mother that it scared him.

  His wife’s restful soul had kept him sane during his crazy life as a New York City Detective. Once she died, the craziness got to be too much for him. Even though he hadn’t spent much time at home and his wife had almost single handedly raised his daughters by herself, she was the calm in the midst of the storm where he could safely rest.

  Franklin’s eyes still followed Granny. Deep in thought, he swallowed his last swig of coffee and walked out the door in the opposite direction of Granny. He wondered why if she scared him so much, because she was like his mother, that he felt so excited and alive when he was sparring with her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When Granny walked into Rack’s Restaurant, Gram Gramstead was already seated at Granny’s favorite spot at the back of the room. Granny squared her shoulders, gritted her teeth, sighed, and made her way to the back of the restaurant to where Gram was seated.

  “You made it, Granny. I had such an exciting day. They have all kinds of 60” televisions in Allure. I made a list and also took pictures. I stopped at home and printed it out on my computer so you could have a copy too.” Gram pushed the list at Granny.

  Before Granny could speak, Gram continued on, “Let me know which television you choose. I decided I’d buy one just like yours. Oh, and I already ordered the food for us.”

  Granny’s hand started to squeeze tighter on her umbrella. She took a deep breath to get her ire under control. Finally, when she felt she could speak in a reasonable voice, she asked “And where are you from, Gram? You look very familiar. Have we met before this last week?”

  As Granny waited for an answer, Maizie arrived with their meal. Gram had ordered for herself, deep fried onion rings, deep fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. On the side was chocolate fudge ice cream with a chocolate donut on top. As Granny stared at Gram’s choice of food, Maizie put the food Gram had ordered for Granny in front of Granny.

  Maizie looked at Granny with a concerned look. “Granny when Gram ordered your meal she explained you were trying to stabilize your health and you had to change your diet. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having problems.”

  Granny stared at Maizie as Maizie set her food down in front of her. Granny glanced down at the plate that was supposed to be her dinner. On the plate was some kind of steamed fish, steamed broccoli, steamed carrots and yogurt for desert.

  Granny held on tighter to her umbrella with a death grip. Her hand was shaking, wanting to lift that umbrella and tangle it in Gram’s red hair. With a gulp, Granny turned to Maizie. “You’re glowing tonight Maizie,” and then Granny noticed Maize’s earrings. They were almost an exact replica of the Junkyard earrings stolen from AbStract, and an almost replica of the earring that was now hidden in Granny’s house. “And those are to die for earrings,” Granny remarked. Granny watched Maizie’s face carefully as she answered.

  Maizie blushed and started giggling. “I’ve met someone. He’s so handsome and he gave me these earrings as an “I want to get to know you better” present. He’s right over there. Would you like to meet him?” Maizie gestured to the bar area but when they looked over, there was no one there. “He was just here. I wonder what happened to him. He was going to wait until I closed up tonight and see me safely home. He must have forgotten something in his car.” Maizie filled up their water and milk glasses and continued on to her other tables.

  Again Granny started to ask Gram if they’d met when Gram exclaimed, “That man at that table just put the salt and pepper shakers, the napkins, the silverware and the ketchup bottle in his wife’s purse. Do you believe that?”

  Granny grabbed her umbrella, pushed the remote for the Big Guy, and limped to the table. “Oh my, I feel faint,” Granny murmured to the man and woman sitting at the table. As she pretended to faint, her umbrella hit the wine glasses sitting on the table. The red wine spilled onto the man’s suit and onto the woman’s white dress. “Oh no, I’m so sorry,” Granny proclaimed and then her umbrella hooked the salt and pepper shakers and the ketchup bottle sitting on the table, shaking the salt and pepper on the man and spilling the ketchup on the woman’s white dress.

  The Big Guy ran in ready with his handcuffs and cuffed the man and the woman. “What did they do?” he asked Granny.

  “That woman, Gram Gramstead, saw them putting the napkins, the salt and pepper shakers and the ketchup in the woman’s purse.”

  The Big Guy cleared his throat. “Granny, you just spilled the salt and pepper shakers, the wine and the ketchup on these poor people. If they stole them by putting them in this poor woman’s purse, they wouldn’t be laying here in their laps from your umbrella assault.”

  Granny pointed to her table at the back of the restaurant. “But she said….” As Granny pointed, she looked to her table and it was empty. Gram was nowhere to be seen.

  The Big Guy apologized to the people and explained the restaurant would pay for any damage and esco
rted Granny outside. “Do you need help getting home, Granny? Perhaps you’ve been pushing yourself too hard. You aren’t getting any younger. Go home; get a good night’s sleep. I’ll visit you in the morning and we’ll talk about these little mistakes we’ve had lately.”

  Granny shook free of his arm. “I’m fine. I’m not making this up. I’ll prove it to you.” Granny started stalking off to her car when she remembered the Big Guy said he was coming by in the morning. Granny couldn’t let that happen. He’d see the forest; he might notice the earrings. She turned, looked the Big Guy in the eye and said, “I’ll come to you and we’ll talk. 9:00 a.m., Rack’s. Be there or be square.” Granny jumped in her car and slowly drove away.

  When Granny walked in her door, she had a surprise waiting for her. Fish, little white poodle, Furball and Tank were all there to greet her. She patted them all and said to Furball and Tank, “You guys running away from home again?” Granny let out a roar of laughter finding it funny that they’d outsmarted Franklin.

  “And you didn’t even bring me any unexpected presents. That’s good. I don’t I think I could’ve handled another surprise today. Maybe Big Guy is right. Maybe my kids are right. I have to think this out.”

  Granny plopped in her chair, kicked her sparkly shoes off, revealing her purple polka dot socks that she had on over her old woman stockings. The tops of her sparkly shoes kept the socks hidden. It gave her an impish thrill to think she was fooling everyone with her respectable clothes. She was so tired her eyes closed and she started dreaming that it was raining chocolates when there was a light knock on the door.

  It took Granny a minute to remember where she was. She reluctantly pulled herself out of the chair to answer the door. Wearily, she opened the door.

  “Franklin, what are you doing here?”

  In answer, Franklin held up a fuchsia, fur-trimmed nightie!

  Granny’s eyes opened wide. She gave Franklin her owl stare. Granny felt the red creeping up her body into her face as she blushed in nervousness. And then she slammed the door right in Franklin’s face.

  “Granny, let me in or I’ll pound on this door all night. I’ll hang this on the mailbox in front of your house if you don’t let me in.”

  Granny took a deep breath, straightened her clothes, settled her hat squarely on her head and opened the door.

  She looked Franklin squarely in the eyes, “I don’t know why you’re bringing that fur floozy thing to me.” Granny started to shut the door.

  Franklin quickly squeezed in before the door shut, which wasn’t an easy feat for such a big man. He looked down to see eight little eyes staring at him from under the couch.

  “Those shysters, and I include my Itsy and Bitsy in that description, left me this present today.”

  Granny turned and gave her four furry companions hiding under the couch the evil eye.

  Franklin held up the fuchsia, fur-trimmed nightie. “They seem to think I needed this. Since it definitely won’t fit me and isn’t my color, we know they didn’t bring it for me to wear. They wanted me to follow them. I followed them here. Since this is usually the scene of the crime, (Granny turned white when he used the word crime), I decided it must be yours.”

  Granny thought Franklin was enjoying this exchange too much. The grin on his face was growing wider by the minute. What should she do?

  Granny grabbed the fuchsia nightie out of Franklin’s hand and stuffed it under the sofa cushion. “Maybe it’s mine. What of it? You can go now and I won’t be hearing any of this on the street or I’ll go after you with my umbrella.”

  Granny stomped over to the door and held it wide open.

  Franklin sat down on the couch. “You better close the door, Granny, or someone might hear our conversation and know your secret.”

  Granny blanched and turned white. “What secret?” she asked anxiously.

  “That you wear wild nighties. Granny, at your age what would everyone think?” Franklin let out a big, loud, chuckle and winked at Granny.

  Granny slammed the door.

  “I think we need to get a few things straight, Granny. The first thing, apparently our furry friends like each other, so let them spend the day here and the nights at my house like they’ve been doing. We can share them. That way we can keep an eye on their mischievous ways. Secondly, I kind of like you. I think you’re kind of cute. So I won’t tell anyone your secret but you have to have dinner with me.”

  Franklin got up and opened the door. He turned to Granny. “And I like fuchsia nighties.” Laughing, he winked, walked through the door into the night. Abruptly he stopped, turned, gave Granny another wink, smiled broadly at Granny and closed the door.

  Granny slowly sat down on the couch. Fish, the little white poodle, Furball, and Tank guiltily crawled out from underneath the couch toward the pet door.

  “Stop! Wherever you’re going, I don’t want any more presents. You won’t take any presents to Franklin either. Do you understand?” All four looked at her, and scurried as fast as they could out the pet door.

  Granny grabbed the fuchsia nightie from under the cushion, grabbed a box of chocolates and headed to bed. This day was enough to give an old woman heart flutters.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Granny had just been about to receive the key to the city for stopping a gang of mobsters from robbing the bank when the ring of the phone stopped the dream right as the Mayor was presenting her with the key to the city of Fuchsia.

  “What! You interrupted the presentation ceremony,” Granny yelled into the phone.

  Mrs. Shrill shouted, “Do you know what’s going on downtown, Granny?”

  “Tut, tut, tut,” Granny shouted into the phone before she slammed down the receiver. She didn’t know why Mrs. Shrill continued to call her to give her news of the day. The only conversation they ever had was “Tut, tut, tut.”

  Granny checked the color of her big toe before climbing out of bed. She was so tired from the goings on of yesterday that she didn’t even check to see if there was children noise in the house. She staggered to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine for breakfast. It wasn’t something she usually did. She usually saved the wine for an evening treat but what the heck! At her age she needed to do something out of the ordinary to get her started for the day. She had the feeling it was going to be longer than yesterday.

  When Granny checked on George with her binoculars she noticed that every morning he hung out a different wildly colored pair of boxer shorts. This was something new the past few weeks.

  Mavis was surprisingly mellow in her reality show this morning. When she saw that Granny was checking on her she raised a cup of coffee to the window and took a sip.

  Sally’s shade was up. She was probably out in her lawn talking to her grass.

  Granny fed Fish, the little white poodle, Furball and Tank before she left the house. Walking to the garage to get her car she noticed the forest seemed to be growing and it would tower over her house soon and be very noticeable. She had to figure this out soon or she’d be trading in her fuchsia nightie for an orange jumpsuit.

  When Granny opened the door to the garage, all the doors on her car were open and so was the trunk. Granny stopped, lifted her umbrella and her pocketbook, ready to strike any unwanted person that might be lurking.

  She did the swat team dance around the garage checking the corners and looking under the car. All clear. Granny started to close the doors on her car but when she got to her trunk she looked in. There in her trunk were five bottles of wine. Granny checked out the label. This was expensive wine.

  Granny shook her head as if to clear her mind. Did she buy the wine and forget? She wouldn’t buy this wine. It was too expensive. Why was this wine in her trunk? Had Franklin planted it? After all, what did she really know about Franklin? Had his visit been an excuse to plant the wine as evidence, but as evidence of what? Granny lifted the bottle and contemplated popping the cork. Somehow that idea seemed safer than heading downtown to see what was going on
. Granny put the bottle back in her trunk regrettably, deciding she better not shirk her duties. She didn’t want to get fired from her detective work.

  Granny slammed the trunk shut. She’d have to deal with it later. She had to get to town to see what Mrs. Shrill had been flapping about. Her meeting with the Big Guy would have to wait.

  Granny hopped into the driver’s seat. Her keys were still there. It couldn’t have been too smart an intruder, Granny thought as she started the car and drove out of the garage. Who would leave bottles of wine and not take a vintage 1957 Corvette?

  As Granny pulled into a parking stall on Main Street, she noticed that the police, the fire trucks and the ambulance were in the parking lot of Rack’s Restaurant. That must have been what Mrs. Shrill was yapping about.

  Granny walked over to the Big Guy who was standing in front of Racks. Granny pretended to trip over her umbrella so the Big Guy could catch her and they had an excuse to talk.

  “Again, another break in?” Granny whispered.

  “Same scenario, Granny. No locks are broken, no alarms set off. This time they got away with the entire stock of wine. Some of it was some pretty pricy and rare stuff that Racks stored in the wine cellar. This time a fire started in the dumpster. Someone tossed this burning fuchsia nightie in the dumpster and started the trash on fire. That’s what alerted us to the break in.

  We just don’t know how the thieves are doing it. And Maizie is missing and so are all the cash register receipts from the night––$10,000 worth. We found Maizie’s earring behind the bar. She was supposed to close up last night. We can’t find her anywhere. I know I’m missing something. The earrings have to be the connection,” he told Granny as he helped her to her feet.

  Granny turned ghost white and stumbled a little as the Big Guy helped her to her feet. The words fuchsia nightie, earrings and connection rolled around in her brain as she had a brief flash of the Big Guy hooking the handcuffs around her wrists as he helped her up.