Katie's Journey to Love

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “Does this mean you might also change your mind about the Mennonite youth gatherings?”

  Mamm didn’t wait very long before answering. “Nee, Katie. Not much can change my mind on such a thing. But if you truly visit the places where our faith began, perhaps it will make you appreciate our beliefs more. I just wish you were going with Amish youth. There’s no telling how the Mennonites skew the history of the Amish people.”

  “Oh, Mamm,” Katie threw her arms around Mamm’s neck, “the Mennonites aren’t like that. Not the ones I’ve met, anyway.”

  Mamm smiled, getting to her feet. “Well, we’ll see. Now I think you’d better get ready. Ben will be here before long. You don’t want to keep him waiting.”

  When Mamm closed the door, Katie rushed around the room with a song on her heart. Mamm was at least opening her mind to what she was doing. That was much more than she’d dare ask from Da Hah.

  “Thank You, Hah,” she whispered. “Thank You so very much.” Hearing the sound of buggy wheels, Katie rushed to the window. Ben was coming down the drive!

  Chapter Eighteen

  Minutes later Katie raced down the stairs, pausing on the last step to catch her breath. It wouldn’t be appropriate to burst into the living room like a young schoolgirl on her first day of term. She also needed to get control of herself so she wouldn’t go running outside where Ben might see her. He would think she couldn’t wait to climb in the buggy with him. Even though that was true, it would be best if Ben didn’t know that yet.

  Katie pushed open the stair door and stepped into the living room.

  Jesse glanced up from his recliner with a smile. “So we’re off for the evening, are we? Be careful now.”

  “Thank you,” Katie replied. A warm feeling rushed around her heart to have a daett who was so understanding. Without him, her mamm would surely be sitting in the kitchen in tears, casting a shadow over this first opportunity to ride with Ben in his buggy. Surely Da Hah was having great mercy on her life. Her cheeks must be glowing with happiness! “Have a gut evening!” Katie said over her shoulder to Jesse as she moved toward the front door.

  Jesse smiled and nodded, but didn’t say anything more, having already turned back to reading The Budget.

  When she went by the kitchen doorway, Katie gave a little wave to Mamm. Since Mabel was also in the kitchen, Katie figured Mamm was refraining from giving her a sendoff to make it easier for Mabel. Katie caught a brief glimpse of Mabel’s fierce glare, but she didn’t slow down. The thought of Mabel’s continued troublemaking took the flush off her cheeks, and brought her back down to earth with a thud. She shook herself mentally. Mabel was not going to ruin this evening!

  Katie closed the front door, her knees going weak as she walked across the porch. Ben was just circling the buggy to pull in front of the house. She pinched herself and kept going. Ben’s buggy awaited! This was the same buggy she used to pass on her way to work at Byler’s before Mamm’s marriage to Jesse. Back then she used to wonder how a girl would feel riding with Ben. Surely she’d be happy for weeks afterward. Now Katie was going to find out! As she approached the buggy, Ben leaped to the ground with a smile and wave and hurried to her side. “Gut evening!” he said. He offered Katie his hand, helping her up the buggy step on the passenger side.

  “Gut evening,” Katie responded as she settled onto the seat. Twice now Ben had offered his hand to help her into a buggy. And she’d noticed a slightly bashful look on his face. She was sure she hadn’t imagined it.

  Ben climbed up the buggy step on the other side and flopped onto the seat. He picked up the reins and gently slapped them against his horse’s back. The buggy headed up the driveway at a fast clip.

  Katie hung on to the side of the buggy frame with one hand and smiled at Ben.

  Obviously trying to make conversation, Ben asked, “How is your mamm getting along in her new life?”

  “Quite gut,” Katie said. “I think she’s fallen in love again.”

  Ben laughed.

  Had she really said that? Katie wondered. She didn’t know Ben well enough to spill such close family information! And yet the words had just come right out.

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Ben said through his chuckles. “Our people usually marry fairly quickly after a partner’s death, especially the men. But then again, sometimes the women don’t.”

  Katie leaned back and cleared her throat. “It was hard for Mamm to consider Jesse’s offer of marriage at first. She wasn’t planning to remarry or fall in love again. But now Mamm sees that the marriage was the best thing for her.”

  “And for you…” Ben glanced at her, his words more statement than question.

  “Yah,” Katie admitted. “I wanted a daett pretty bad—though not just any daett. Getting a kind and gentle man like Jesse is a gut reason to give thanks to Da Hah.”

  “I suppose so.” Ben kept his eyes on the road. “I never lost my daett, so I don’t know from personal experience.”

  “It’s not easy, believe me.” Katie looked up into his face. Ben was being so understanding, just as he’d been the few times they’d spoken before. Being with him already felt like they were friends who’d known each other for a long time. No wonder she’d felt such a strong desire to be with him all these years. She had to stop herself from leaning against Ben’s shoulder like she’d seen many dating couples do on the way home from the hymn singings on Sunday nights. She mustn’t take such liberties yet…and maybe not for a long time. That Ben was even driving her to the youth gathering was wunderbah enough, she reminded herself.

  “I heard a little gossip about you this week,” Ben said. “Well, I assume it’s gossip.”

  Katie sat upright on the buggy seat. “Good or bad?”

  Ben frowned. “I’m afraid it’s bad.”

  “Oh no! I wonder who’s been running their mouths?” Katie frowned. “So what did you hear?”

  “Ruth Troyer, the schoolteacher, said something about you going to Europe with some Mennonites.”

  “Oh…” Katie leaned back against the buggy seat.

  Ben continued. “Ruth claims your mamm is corrupting Jesse Mast completely. That he has lost all his gut child-training sense since the marriage. And that’s why he’s allowing you to go on such a trip.”

  Katie carefully studied Ben’s profile. Did Ben not approve of such a trip? What would he think when she told him it was true? That she might go on the trip if she could find the money.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Ben asked. He was looking at her quizzically.

  “Nee,” Katie replied, “it’s just that…well, on this one…umm…it happens to be true. I am considering such a trip.”

  Ben stared at her. “You’re going to Europe?”

  Katie shook her head. “It’s still up in the air. I’ve been invited by some friends, but I haven’t given them an answer yet. Jesse said I could go, but it wasn’t because of Mamm’s persuading him. Ruth has that wrong. Jesse said if Da Hah provided the funds that would be a sure sign the trip is in His will. And that’s the problem. I don’t have the money.”

  Ben’s face relaxed. “Well, what a surprise! I wouldn’t have thought you’d consider such a trip. How did the invitation come about?”

  Katie cleared her throat. “I’m not sure of the details. I’ve known Margaret and Sharon for awhile now. Nancy Keim asked them to go, and I guess they thought I’d enjoy going along so they talked to Nancy. The three of them decided to invite me because they wanted a fourth person to make up the group.”

  Ben beamed at her. “I think that’s fantastic! And you really might go?”

  Katie winced. “Remember, I don’t have the finances, and I see no way of getting them. But at least Jesse said I could go. So I have permission…but no money.”

  Ben slapped the reins. “I’d say old Jesse is pulling a fast one on you. He knows you don’t have the money, so he’s saving himself from having to tell you no. Sort of bypassing the risk of turning his new frau’s daughter aga
inst him by not having to say no.”

  “Jesse wouldn’t do that,” Katie protested. “He’s not like that at all.”

  Ben shrugged in the falling darkness.

  Katie ran the memory of the other evening through her mind. She saw Jesse’s kind face and his understanding look when he inquired about the invitation to go to Europe. Jesse was honest and open. There was no way he’d been pretending to be supportive.

  “Sorry for doubting your old man,” Ben muttered, interpreting Katie’s silence correctly. “I didn’t mean any harm.”

  “He has been very nice to me,” Katie said. “And I think he would let me go if I did get the money somehow.”

  “But you don’t have it, so I guess we’ll never find out. Sorry about that. I wish you could go. It sounds like fun.” Ben’s face was briefly visible as they passed an Englisha house that had a tree in the yard twinkling with Christmas lights.

  “Thank you,” Katie responded. “I think so too.” Ben was a wunderbah friend already. He was so tenderhearted. Da Hah had indeed begun the feelings she had for Ben. Mamm’s fears had no foundation in reality at all. Katie was trusting Da Hah to make her relationship with Ben work in His gut timing. And each moment of that journey would most assuredly be a pleasure and a joy.

  “Look’s like we’re about here,” Ben said, interrupting her thoughts. He pulled back on the reins a bit. Ahead of them bright lights flooded the front yard of a modest house. Moments later they turned into the driveway, stopping beside a long line of cars parked near the barn.

  “We’re about the only buggy here,” Katie noted as she climbed down.

  Ben pulled a tie strap out from behind the seat. “Does that bother you? Would you rather drive around in a blue sports car like Esther has?”

  Katie laughed. “Nee, a horse and buggy are just fine for me.” And being with you is even better, she wanted to say as Ben tied up his horse. But she held her tongue as she waited for Ben. Walking into the gathering together was such a great honor. Everyone was going to see that she’d come with the most handsome man there.

  “Ready to go?” Ben asked, stepping beside her.

  Katie smiled up at him, and they walked together toward the house. Another couple appeared beside them after exiting a parked car on the other side of the barn.

  “Good evening there,” they said, their voices singing out together.

  “Good evening,” Ben and Katie replied at the same time. Katie decided they already sounded like a couple because they’d responded in unison. She stayed close to Ben as they walked through the door. Lights were strung across the ceiling, and a volleyball game was already in progress. A Mennonite boy Katie didn’t know showed up to shake their hands and greet them.

  “We’ll get another volleyball game going soon,” he told them. “Glad to have all of you!”

  The boy moved on to greet other people who were arriving, and Ben led the way toward a smaller group of young people.

  “Name’s Andy,” a boy said as he extended his hand. He motioned toward a girl standing beside him. “This is my girlfriend, Lilly.”

  “Hi.” Lilly offered her hand.

  As they shook hands, Ben spoke up. “This is Katie. She’s a good friend of mine. And I’m Ben.”

  If only he’d said my girlfriend, Katie thought. Well, someday he would if Da Hah so willed it. Their relationship might even become deep enough where love would grow between them so they would become husband and wife. Don’t put the cart before the horse, Katie reminded herself silently. She mustn’t think about such things right now.

  “Come on!” The boy who had first welcomed them was back. “We’re ready for another game.”

  “Are you playing on my side?” Ben asked Katie with twinkles in his eyes.

  “Yah,” Katie told him, her heart pounding in her chest. “I’d like that.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Several hours later headlights pierced the night sky as Ben drove the buggy in the direction of Jesse’s farm. Inside, Katie sat peacefully with happy thoughts whirling through her head. What an evening this had been—and it wasn’t over yet! Another half an hour or so still lay ahead of them as Ben drove her home. This might be the best time yet. Each moment seemed to take her joy to a greater height. Tonight had been all she’d dreamed it would be and then some.

  Ben’s voice reached her through the haze of happiness. “What a gut evening that was. They’re sure a nice bunch of folks.”

  “Yah, they are,” Katie agreed. She leaned forward so Ben could hear her as a car roared past them. She didn’t add what she really wished to say: But not nearly as nice as being there with you.

  Ben glanced toward Katie and smiled as another car passed them, “It sounded like you had quite the conversation going with some of the girls after the game.”

  “Yah, Margaret and Sharon are really excited about the trip to Europe in May. They want to start planning it now.”

  Ben looked at her. “I think you should go along, Katie.” He turned his gaze back to the road.

  Katie didn’t answer right away, and Ben glanced at her again.

  “Yah, I remember that money is a problem,” Ben said, seeming to read her thoughts. “Maybe you’ll find some way of getting the funds. It would be a great adventure, you know.”

  Katie leaned back in the buggy seat and took a deep breath. Exhaling she said, “Even if I had the money, I’d have to get it in time to have my picture taken, get a passport, and make plane reservations. And what if the big plane crashed into the ocean?”

  Ben laughed. “Those big birds crash less than cars do. Statistically speaking, of course. It’s quite safe.”

  Katie kept her voice steady. “The plan is to go to the sites where our faith began. They plan to visit places in the old town of Zurich, including a cave back up in the mountain where our forefathers gathered for meetings. Margaret thinks the cave is featured in Christmas Carol Kauffman’s book Not Regina.”

  “Have you read it?” Ben asked.

  Katie shook her head. “I just heard about it at school.”

  Ben smiled. “It’s an interesting story. I don’t know whether the featured cave was a real one or not, but it sounded like it was. Christmas Kauffman can make things come alive even if they aren’t real. I really enjoyed her writing. I think you have to go see this place if you can swing it.”

  “You’ve read the book?” Katie stared at Ben in astonishment.

  Ben laughed. “You don’t think boys read books?”

  “Of course I do, now that I think about it. I was just a bit surprised, that’s all.”

  Ben shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but Katie’s mind raced. Ben was even more wunderbah than she’d thought. He enjoyed reading and learning! And he was being so supportive and encouraging about the trip to Europe, which made her wish even more that she could go.

  Ben looked at Katie. “Did you hear the most important point? I think you should go if you get the chance.”

  Katie smiled. “Believe me, Ben, I will. Even though it might be a little scary to be in a strange place so far from home. I hate to ask Da Hah for another miracle though. He’s been providing so many of them already.”

  Ben smiled back. “Well, we never know what will happen. I’m glad to hear you’re considering the possibility.” He slapped the reins, and Longstreet stepped out even faster. “I think I’d better get you home before your daett and mamm think I’ve stolen you.”

  “They wouldn’t think that,” Katie said as they went around a curve fast enough to make the buggy lean to one side. Mamm would think other things, but Katie wasn’t about to say that right now. Ben was teasing anyway. Just as he was likely showing off his fast horse. The thought sent a tremble up her back. She’d never had a boy show off for her before.

  “He likes to run in the dark,” Ben said, seeming to read her thoughts again. “He’s a gut horse.”

  “What’s his name?” Katie asked, looking at Ben’s face. He looked even more handsome in the d
im light. He had a slight grin on his face as they raced through the night.

  “Longstreet,” Ben said.

  “Longstreet?” Katie stared openly at him now. “Where did that name come from?”

  He took a moment before answering. “It’s the name of a Southern general during the Civil War.”

  “A Southern general, Ben?”

  Ben gave her a quick glance. “Do you think there’s something wrong with that?”

  “Nee, I suppose not. I don’t know that much about the Civil War.”

  Ben laughed. “I’m a little strange, I suppose. It’s not that I like war, but I’m fascinated with the stories of some of the battles during the Civil War. I learned about Longstreet when I was reading about a battle fought under General Lee at Gettysburg. The book was called Killer Angels.”

  “Killer Angels? That’s an odd name, and it sounds pretty gruesome.”

  “Come on now,” Ben said in a teasing voice. “Wars happen whether we agree with them or not. There’s nothing wrong with learning about them. In fact, it’s probably a good thing to know about them.”

  “But wars are awful, Ben. So many people die from guns and illnesses. It’s not our world, Ben. We Amish abhor violence. Should you be reading such things?”

  Ben smiled down at her. “You’re sounding like my mamm now. Daett doesn’t care though. I keep the books out of sight in my room so Mamm won’t get upset. Not that all my books are about war. I enjoy reading detective stories too. And even a love story once in awhile, like Not Regina.”

  “Why do you want to read about war, Ben?”

  Ben was quiet as he stared into the darkness.

  Katie wondered if she’d said too much. She was curious, but had she overstepped their friendship by questioning his actions already? Ben had every right to be offended. She stole a glance at him. He didn’t seem to be though.

  “Picture the scene, Katie. It was a glorious day at Gettysburg. There was a whole field of Southern soldiers, thousands and thousands of them. Their flags were flying and their guns were ready. They marched out of the woods ready to do battle to defend their honor. They had over a mile of open ground to cover as they headed toward Cemetery Ridge where the Union soldiers were entrenched. General Longstreet had failed to gain the high ground the day before on Little Round Top. General Lee had ordered one last charge, striking the Federals in the middle. That battle became known as Pickett’s Charge, named after one of General Longstreet’s commanders. The day was infamous and glorious all at the same time. So like the South of that day—and so like many of us, I think. We would rather die in the heat of battle with banners unfurled than admit our cause is lost.”